Kids

Sometimes, i listen to people and i feel that they are at the same stage as i was before. Meaning i actually went thru that kinda mentality before. Childish, immature and dumb. Especially when it comes to relationships.

People say they will change themselves for somebody in 2 or 3 yrs time, they made that statement with so much vigor that u will think them as being realli sincere. 2 to 3 yrs later, they changed as they have said, but everything changed as well, the person u wanna change for, turns out to be just another someone. That person isnt what u wanted after all, because with physical change, comes mental change, its unavoidable.

That goes the same for people that say they will wait for somebody, no matter the time. To them, i will say --> fuck u understand? Dun say stuffs u dun mean, even if u do mean them during the time u say them. If u cannot confirm and ascertain that in future u will stick to your promise, dun make them.

Waiting is simply dumb, its not im not sincere, but there's a limit. While u wait and rot and become emo and sad, do she know? No. When u go through all the shit while pinning for her smile, her hand and her hug, does she know? No. And finally, when u are so sincere and keep on doing so many stuffs for her, does she know? No.

Since she dont know a damn thing while u do all these, is it worth it? No again. Therefore, dun bother. If she likes you, she will accept u now. If she dun like you, u can be a casanova and its still hopeless. Period. Like means like, dun like means dun like. Ah, i remember commenting on this in a previous entry, so i will not say more.

In myself, i see myself degrading slowly. Im starting to doubt the sanity of being really nice to somebody who isnt worth it. You only open the door to your heart and your world to somebody who wants to be in it, anyhow open the door, and despair might slowly creep in. Bit by bit, your sincerity is eroded away without any value, and the end result is what we call heartache. Never trust anybody with your heart unless that person proof that he or she is worthy of it. This message goes out to everybody out there. Remember, dun trust anybody easily, even me.

Therefore if u see me still being nice to you after this entry, u should know, u are among the ones that i really trust and like. Frends, gals, watever. Once the trust is there, it is unwavering. Why the sudden strong entry? Because somebody just told me something that i totally disagree with.

He told me he likes this gal that i know so much that he is willing to change himself in 2 yrs, and if the gal is still single, he will woo her. I laughed in his face, told him he is childish and hinted to him to wake up the idea. He's still young, there's so many options out there, he met the gal not long ago somemore. In this 2yrs, he will meet countless other people, and im willing to bet my balls that he will find someone better. Yesh, you heard right, i will cut off my balls if he never change target.

Worse is, when i asked him how come he's so into her, he told me that its challenging and fun. When i saw that, i instantly warned him, if he dares to toy with her, im gonna play with his detached balls. Then he told me he's joking, and everything he said is nonsense. I pua his cb, knn wtf he meant man? Im not happy, especially since the gal is somebody i know. Argh, some guys are just soooo fucked up.

And to add salt to spice, another frend i toked to ytd, wanted to bet with me whether i can get the gal i want anot. I instantly reject. Dramas and shows also got show leh, u DO NOT bet on whether u can get a gal anot. They are human beings with a beating heart, u dun bet on their hearts like some worthless stuff. There's no price tag attached to somebody's heart, so its of immeasurable value. Since we're frends, i gave him my advice and told him never to bet on things so childish. You wanna go after somebody because u realli like him/her, not because of some stupid bet. Fook.

Im beginning to understand how come some people are so defensive and totally close the doors shut. Its just so messy out there, u never know who or what kinda beast u are letting into your heart. Its so serious that some people even switched gender preference or chose to remain single all their lives. Wow.

Went supper with aiying just now, she asked me a very intriguing question. Why do guys change hearts. Um, how to answer? lolx. My explanation is simple, people change. What they want now might not be what they want in future. There's no way to prevent stuffs from happening, my mentality is what comes, comes. When someone wanna leave, no matter what u do, that person will still leave. I will never wanna retain somebody physically, while her heart is not with me. Its like caging a bird and snipping off its wings. Freedom, is something that everyone should have.

As to myself, I dare not say i 100% will not stray ( even if i wanna stray, i dun have the qualities lah, im too fat.), but i will learn from my dad's mistake and never walk his path. One means one, dun let your dick get the better of you. And mind you, good wives are dick-cutters, they will KILL you if u stray. lolx.

This entry is abit long, because its been some time since my last entry, alot to crap about. hahass. Now on to more daily stuffs. My mum has been pestering me to clean up my room since august, and i tink its time to clean up le. hahahas! im a bad son i know. lolx. Im now jobless, and rotting at home waiting for business. Being boss isnt so exciting after all. lolx.

Emotions wise, im now starting to get confused once again. Typical of me lah, there's stuffs i'd better not say here, but seriously, my dream yesterday nite isnt what i call a straight forward decision. Do dreams reflect your sub-conscious, or are they simply opposites of reality and how u feel? The irony of dreams and life. hahass

Jason's Simplicity : All the beauties of life is man-made. The only never-changing thing is change.

Hi! Can i be your frend?

Hahahas, i cant stop laughing after looking at a guy's friendster profile, i see his picture i alreadi buay tahan alreadi, i dun fucking know why. HAHAHAHASSSS dumb fuck!!!! HAHAHAHAHAS!

Alrite, i know its bad laughing at people, because i myself is also none the better, most probably worse, but still, he realli looks like a cock. lolx. pardon me, im little mad todae. Since i've started on this dumb issue of cocks in friendster, i shall continue to entertain myself. :)

I realised, guys come in various varieties ( yeah, i know, im a guy too.), most of them are normal, but there's this minority that's abit off the edge. They are the people that are like 20+ yrs old, and they go message 14-16 yr old kids in friendster stuffs like " Hi, wanna be frends?" or maybe " Heys, u are realli pretty and i like u alot, can we be friends?". HAHAHAHAHAS!!!! Dumb fucks! How do i know? Because my younger sister and my other female friends showed me their friendster inbox and we totally laughed our heads off.

And then further more, some of them claimed to be super hunky, one even said he looks like david beckham! Im like, if you REALLI looked like beckham, then why the fuck do u need to know a 14-16 yr old girl for? Go date models lah fuck tart. lol! I can never understand how some guys in their 20s can actually do something so stupid. I classify these people as paedophiles, perverts in the making. If u realli wanna target, get somebody thats above 18. Dun be so pathetic and terrorize secondary school gals for god sake.

And its no surprise most of these guys are in army. I've been to army, and to date i've known 2 perverts while i was serving the nation. One claims he is singapore's best lion dancer and has learned martial arts since he was young. My big question to him was: Why are u still so fat? hahahahss! ( Im fat too, i know. T_T)

The second one was a guy that smells and steals. He smells because he never bathes for 3 days in a row, and he steals people's handphones and stuffs. When he got caught, he kneels down and beg the guys not to beat the shit out of him or report him. Once is okay, twice is coincidence, but he did it for 6 times! wow!

Anyways, these 2 low-lifes are similar, in that they like realli young gals. One of them has a 14 yr old gal as a gf, and he likes to browse thru his frends' friendster to find new targets to cheat. The other guy that steals alot is much more obvious, he borrows ur handphone, saying his handphone is low on batt, then he goes to the toilet with ur phone. Guess what he did in the toilet? He copied the female phone numbers in ur phone into his phone, and he calls the gals up saying he's some fren of yours that wanna know the gal. I know, this guy's a complete fucker. He should be wasted even before he was born. And did i say he had a 12 yr old gf? Both these guys are 20+, and their gfs are 14 and 12 yr old. Argh, pervs! End of perv stories. Enough for todae.

And then, todae i went to utilize facebook's horoscope reading out of boredom. And guess what did the it say? I paste it here for u people to see and decipher ba.


Virgo Love Horoscope
Friday, December 21
More than anything, relaxation and psychic neutrality is important for being able to see things with objectivity. If you have been accumulating small animosities or misunderstandings with someone in the past, it is very possible that suddenly everything will come to light.


What does it mean? I dun know. But this type of thing see for the fun can le, no point being too superstitious. My fate is in my own hands, i forge my own destiny and path in life.

And before i turn in for the night, i wanna touch on the emotion called patience. Maybe its not even a emotion, but lets try to define patience. Patience is the amount of shit you're willing to put up with before u actually blow your top. hahahas, crude but accurate i tink. I always believe, everybody deserve a chance to be understood and known. Yes, even the pervs. I tried to understand them, but its pointless, they're hopeless.

Things happen for a reason, people react in a certain way for a reason too. I would rather try to understand that reason, then to waste time trying to prove u're right. Noone is right all the time, i find people that tink they are right all the time veri veri sickening. If u cant lose your ego, then u shouldnt be allowed to have a ego in the first place. Anyways, as i was saying, if you're nice to me, i can put up with alot of shit. Too much infact sometimes.

In the event that you're out to 'eat' me, then im sorry to tell u my patience is limited, as i've demonstrated recently to that bastard that tried to cheat me and ah wei. My circuit is veri short for people i dun know, meaning people in society. I hate those people that open their legs very widely on the mrt or bus. The way they sit is like their family jewels is damn big and needs alot of space for them to nestle. My reaction is simple, use my leg to push their leg back, or stare at them, then stare at their legs, then repeat the action. They get the message all the time. :)

And so what's your patience level? I bet u have differing levels for different people, that's a norm for human beings. For me, i try my best not to stereotype and judge too quickly. Im not perfect myself, so why expect people to be perfect?

Okies, todae im abit mad. i know. I shouldnt laugh at people, its mean and nasty of me. lolx. Bad karma, i can feel it coming.....

P.S. : Eh, stop asking about my sister lah, she's attached alreadi, so please stop acting asking about how i am just to find a excuse to get my sister's number. We're frends since poly, and i wanna stay that way. :)

Jason's Simplicity: Whenever something is right, there's always another thing that's wrong.

Sick of it yet?

Sometimes, i feel people always tinks im still in a certain stage of my life, which i had alreadi moved on. Its not being too fast or anything, but i just learned that in life, u have to move on, being stuck on something or someone too long is simply unfair to yourself.

Life is all about yourself, though it sounds selfish. Mankind are by nature self-centred, though there are exceptions. Im just a normal man, so i admit, im selfish. There are certain things that i only do for certain people, and for the rest of the folks, it have to depend on my mood. So there, im selfish. Anyways, as i said, i moved on long ago, im into 'her' now, totally, completely, certainly. End of declaration. hahasss :P

Anyways what peter said is rite, we tend to take our mums for granted. But though i dun tok about her much, im veri defensive of her. hahass, and sometimes she does things that are unexplainable, things that will make u roll ur eyes and give up. lolx. That's my mum for u. lolx. I do have plans to do my duty as a son, but only selected ppl kw, because i dun publicize my mum. So if i told u about my plans for my mum, u're realli close to me. :)

I tried not blogging about emo stuffs, but its too boring for me. I cant simply blog about politics and my not so interesting life, then look back and discover its boring. I like to flip back and read my past entries and then recall how i felt when im doing that entry, that's y i needa record down my memories and emotions during that period of time. :)

Anyways saw sean at marina square just now. lolx, small world eh? Then before that say yuyun and laofun at cityhall mrt. I seem to bump into people at marina square alot, the last time i went there with corinne, i bumped into adeline. hahasss, small small marina square.

Nothing substantial to blog about in this entry, so shall stop here. But as usual, i dun like people to discourage me, the usual suspect is discouraging me already. Im fucking determined to prove him wrong. That's one of the reason im doing things im doing now. You're not always right, i can do it.

Jason's Simplicity: People that have or had will never understand people that never have or had.

Brittle-lity of Life

Argh, im reminded on how fragile life is. Somebody i've known have passed away, somebody from the skool. I onli saw him in the first semester, but i tink i've smiled at him before. He's my fren's fren, and i dun kw him personally at all, its just tat feeling that somebody u kw passed away, it realli sucked. Depressing, how people can simply be gone from ur life.

We're so fragile u know? Gives me the creeps when i think there might be a possibility that i might not be around tomolo. Its so unpredictable. Suddenly made me rethink what i wanna do with my life, do i wanna keep dragging stuffs and in the end when i wanna do something, i cant? Live life to the fullest, do what u wanna do. Since we all think we have all the time in the world, we can afford to wait....we are so wrong... absolutely....

The greatest curse a human being can get is the knowledge of when he/she is going to die. And in order to lessen the pain, they try to live their remaining lives to the fullest, doing what they normally would postpone to do. Dying people are the ones that fully appreciate life, forgoing all worries and stress, knowing that if they dun do what they want to, they will never get to do them.

Ah, this is all fucking depressing yet inspirational at the same time. Do what u want to todae, hesitate any further and u might not get the chance to do it tomolo. There are some veri important things i need to do, and i have been postponing them for too long. Far too long.

Anyways, lets move on, enough about death and despair. I'm propelled to write a song for my dear fren nich, he's one solemn soul man. After so many yrs, he's still haunted by a bad incident, its hard on him, but i understand that kinda feeling, though not fully. I shall try to write a song based on his experience, and hopefully help him get out of this deep deep sadness.

Nowadays, i kinda wanna write songs for every single thing and experience that happened in my life. Yet the funny thing is, im getting realli realli busy nowadays, especially with the increase in Seraphine's orders. The profit margin is low, very low. Earning $12 bucks from a $400+ PSP isnt exactly a millionaire maker. But what matters is the experience, yeah, the experience. Duh.

Jason's Simplicity: Im God, King and Hunk every nite in dreamland. wow. <(-.-)>

Flame Me

People feedback. People feedback to me. They say so and so isnt a realli good person, and the only thing i can do is listen and analyse. But i wouldnt believe people unless i saw it with my own eyes. I might be naive, i might be dumb, but still i believe its because they dun understand u, that's why the say such stuffs. I always choose to believe in people, because i believe humans just need to be understood. :)

Todae i realised one thing, being fat is a sin. If you're fat, u're easily ridiculed by people. Its not like they do it on purpose, its juz the natural state of things. hahas, and im fine with it, till now. All along i tot if somebody likes u for who u are, then tat's true love. Wrong. Looks means alot. Being fat means u're degraded. No matter how u deny it, u're degraded.

Therefore, i shall not tok more about this issue, because if i told u people im going to train and lose weight, i might fail again. Dun tok about something u are not certain of doing. I always say i wanna lose weight, but in the end im still the same, abit pointless and ridiculous. Eat less, do more cardio, im told. Try, i replied. And now sean's biceps are growing bigger, my tummy is expanding bigger. Fuck.

My head is spinning now, with loads and loads of stuffs. Seraphine is starting to take off, and as the orders start pouring in, my head starts overloading. There's this sickening guy that keeps bothering me asking me to do business with him, and he keeps calling, im totally pissed off with him. He's out to cheat me n ah wei, we both know, but we cant simply call him to fuck off. Argh.

Gal troubles also cloud my tiny mind, as is with my entire 24 yrs. hahas, but its funny, i kw its not possible but still i just want her to kw. yeah, i know, mad. but watever, fuck me, im crazy.

In pursuit of the perfect man. But being too perfect, is it realli perfect to be perfect? In the process of being perfect, will become not that perfect after all? A flawed existence is an ironic translation of perfection in fact. Food for thought... hmms....

And lastly, before i forget, weiliang, u are so wrong. :)

Jason's Simplicity: Im the silliest guy in the world. Im willing to be silly if its about u.

Ah-Beng

I've been staying at home for far too long this few days, not that i dun wanna work, not much roadshows these days. So what do i do at home? Simple, watch movies, dramas and play facebook.
Think about her, try to write songs about her and yea, consider how fat i am. Hahas~~

Yesterday i bought a Gatsby Grunch-Mocha dye for my hair, and its supposed to be abit frosty black in colour. After applying the dye, i went to watch The Simpsons. And i kinda forgot the time, so i happily say there laughing at idiotic Homer Simpson for 45 mins before i realised im still dyeing my hair. Fucking hell after i went to the toilet to wash off the dye, my hair became brownish blonde. 15 mins more it will become orange. Fuck man, i want black hair, and thanks to dumb me, its now SHINY BROWN. So now have to wait 3 mths later then attempt to dye it black again. Argh, wat the fuck.

Okay, i heard good reviews about Loreal's Architect Wax, and so i happily went to bought a bottle. I wanted to switch away from Gatsby moving rubber, its kinda boring and it doesnt hold that strong anyways. I havent tried Architect yet, but i hope it works as well as it smells.

Sometimes i tink my social network isnt as strong as other people, because i realised people have more frends then me. Not that im jealous or watever lah, but when you're having the hots on somebody that is kinda popular with people, u do get abit worried. When the choices are abundant, ur chances of scoring is proportionately reduced. Ironically, if she's anti-social and doesnt have much frends, there wouldn't be an opening for u to know her in the first place. Irony and its ironic irony.

Seraphine is doing fine now, as word spreads that our products are good and i make every effort to ensure quality to customers. The momentum is picking up, and the PSPs are rolling out slow but steadily. The website is also up and running thanks to me, and though we aint exactly millionaires now, i believe in future i will be. Seraphine is just one of the businesses that i plan to go into, there's other stuffs brewing in my pot, you could say im going to diversify my businesses. heh.

Right now my priority list goes --> her, studies, business, talents. Her, means her. Studies, means i must get my degree without ta paoing anything again. ever. Business, means success in all my endeavours. Talents, means my other stuffs, things like singing, song writing etc... I hope all these will be possible. They are all my dreams and what i realli want. I kw people might say im mad putting relationship as the first priority, but to me, what matters most is love and family. Since family wise everything is stable, i hope my love comes true. Even with all the money in the world, without love, life is meaningless.

So now technically speaking, the wheels of my dreams are in motion. I've started to fulfill my dreams one by one, its called the self-fulfillment prophecy. The feeling that your dreams are within your reach cant be described with normal words, i can only say that its definitely better then sex or chocolate. Hohoho.

Jason's Simplicity: I've always said so and so was all i ever wanted, but did i realli want them as badly as you in the first place?

Insanely Emo

(Do not Read if u cannot stand Emo stuffs.)

Was reading my private blog and recalling some stuffs that happened around 2 months ago. Realized how depressed i was then, i tried toking to people during that period, but it didnt help much. heh. i guess it all boils down to how u handle stuffs like tat, u can never get too used to that kinda feeling though. hmms.

I feel sometimes that during my search for the perfect one, i left out some good ones. Getting tired of things yet? i always ask myself, so many years, so many 'the ones', still not sick and tired? Im starting to doubt the existence of the legendary 'perfect one', hell im even starting starting to doubt life itself. Im not suicidal, for ur information, im just losing the trust in the thing called 'fate'.

Everyone has his/her time, but when is mine? There's so much i wanna do, so so much, but the pieces never seem to fall into the right places. Pardon me for being abit emo, because i haven been emo in a long long time, so yeah, allow me the luxury of being a emo kid in this entry.

And so there's still the person, the unique one. Every period there's this special one, and as my life transcends from one phrase to another, the special one keeps changing like a cycle. Some belonged to others, some still on the shelf. People ask, people listened, people got sicked, and people ignored. 100 and 1 advices, 100 and 1 remedies, yet none worked for me. We all know the reason why, its obvious, i myself can see the reason why. Its me, not anybody else. Im what i am, there's no denying it.


Jason's Simplicity : Humans adapt and evolve, how come im not?

Seraphine Playworks

Seraphine Playworks is born todae. Finally i've decided to name our game company that. hahas, todae went to take stocks again, and the funny thing is, the box with our stock is written --> new shop. meaning they reserved it for us, and since we didnt have a company name, its called New Shop. 0.0

Im quite happy these days, because my results turn out alrite, though not super impressive, i didnt ta pao any stuffs this sem. heh. Secondly my childhood dream finally came true, i now have my own business, hahass.

After being back from Port Dickson, i realised that i like outdoor stuffs alot. Hmms, dun kw why, i totally dig outdoor stuffs, things like paintball, beach sports etc. simply being under the sun with frends and having fun at the same time is... well, fun. hahass. If i was abit more outdoor-ish when i was young, i wouldnt be a stack of lard now. :s

Anyways, tomolo will go gym, finally its time to take a break from hectic business schedule. And in the evening, will be celebrating our exam-survival at vivo with the OG people. I was so damn glad we survived man. Wootz!

The curse of the heavens continues, when i wanted to run to burn off the lard, the sky kept raining and flooding the tracks. Fook. i am FAT FAT FAT, as the port dickson pictures showed ( well, almost ALL the pics taken in my life reflected that. hahahass). I realli wonder, IF i went for a super regimental training camp for 3 mths, how much weight will i lose? Or maybe find somebody that can control and prevent me from ballooning? hmms... watever, i still boils down to myself. Sad.

Todae i learnt how to mod psp from ah chua, the frendly gameshop uncle. I now can mod PSPs! heh. Went to get 10 stocks of PSP todae, ah wei and i were running around with $4000 cash. The freaking bank closed at 4.30pm, and atm can onli draw $2000 per day. fuck. Thank god, i am smart, i told ah wei to transfer $1800 bucks to my acct, and i drew it out. Ah wei drew out the remaining $2000 from his acct, therefore we have total cash of about $3800 with $200 alreadi in ah wei's wallet. Smart me. :)

Ytd went to have supper with aiying, and we were toking about guys keeping gals picture in their handphone/wallet. She told me there's this perv that kept her picture ( which is tat perv secretly took with his camera.) in his wallet, and one fine day, he dropped his wallet and she saw her face in his wallet.... lolx... She's like.... perv.... I was wondering, that guy is abit extreme lah, i mean i know guys keep pics of gals they like to remind them how much they meant to them, but dun SECRETLY take picture of people lah, bian tai leh. -.-"

I dun deny i do keep pictures of people that i like, but its all public pictures, not those secretly taken ones lah. And i keep pictures because i wanna compile them into something memorable, not for some crazy fetish. A good example is the scrapbook that i did a year back for somebody. I gathered her pictures, and then i printed them out to decorate a scrapbook solely for her.

Though i didnt get her, i still feel i did my best lah. Im that kinda person that wanna try my best before i will conclude that its realli not possible. I do persevere, but i also understand that if a gal likes you, she likes u, she dun like u, no matter what fuck u do also no use one. Its beri true, unless she ran out of choices, she die also wont choose u one. Maybe after sometime its possible, but at that moment she reject u, dun even think about it. And toking about perseverance, overdoing it is sickening, dun go and disturb and haunt people lah, piangz, dun want then dun want lah, why be like a sickening dog that keep pestering people? Hmph.

How did i digress so much? hohoho, as i was saying, if things start to look up, i might be acheive 'financial freedom' soon! ( Though i tink the so called 'financial freedom' is just a term invented by insurance agent to smoke their victims. hahahass! To me, financial freedom means having the extra cash to invest in stocks and make ur money work for u, not buy some dumb and silly 'savings' plan that erks out 3-5 cent to your dollar. Stocks is the way to go, boasting a 10-20cent to your dollar returns if u kw how to pick ur stocks. wee you wee~~)

Jason's Simplicity : Beauty and the Beast, possible?

RYAN CABRERA:

TRUE

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
that you belong with me

you might think
I don't look
but deep inside in the corner of my mind
I'm attached to you
mmmm

I'm weak
it's true
cause I'm afraid to know the answer
do you want me too?
cause my heart keeps falling faster

I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
it's time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true

you don't know
what you do
everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move

I'm weak
it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
do you see me too?
do you even know you met me?

I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
its time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true

I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
the way that's true

I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
its time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true

*Got a feeling tonite i will do a double entry. hmm...*

Port Dickson

Just came back from Port Dickson todae, therefore i have loads to blog here regarding the trip. Song lyrics will be postponed to some future entry when i have nothing interesting to write about.

Port Dickson was fun, and brought back lots of memories when i was still serving the nation. National service seems to come in handy in lots of situation, obvious examples being the obstacles course and paintball events.

Obstacles course, a simplified version of the traditional SOC that we army guys go through lots of times. 2yrs after ORD, and im faced with the task of completing SOC again. But to my surprise, i actually completed the course man. I dun understand why, but i can still do the monkey bar. The rest of the obstacles was a breeze for me, because the rugged me is revived. Though i look fair and smooth and fat, im actually a veri rugged and tough person when things start to get dirty.

After i've made it clear to myself that im gonna get down and dirty, then my mind will start telling my body one sentence --> " Just Do It.". And then u will see me, determined to overcome whatever stands in my way. I know, im fat, but i have the substance and soul of a man.

Enough self promotion, the paintball event was damn fun, i loved the feeling of being able to do the 'leap and bound' drill again. I was in the same team with Rei, and we owned the first rnd, but sadly, as the rounds went by, our ammo started dwindling and we were massacred. hahaha! But still, its fun, especially considering the commaderie and coordination between rei and me. Fun!

The food there was nice, very nice indeed, but its always the same fare. Chicken, curry were always the staple for lunch and dinner, but its nice lah, so i wont complain. The lamp chops were wonderful, much much better then those sold in singapore. The lectures were a tad boring, but quite enriching nonetheless.

Accommodation wasnt so rosy though, its an air-coned bunk with dbl level beds. I dun expect high class accomm for $60, but at least let it be in an mosquito free area. I was attacked by mosquito till i nearli went crazy in the middle of the nite. Mozzies like me alot, im fat and sweet, tat's the explanation the guys gave and i realli tink it wasnt so convincing. -.-"

I knew new people there, and some of these new people are... well, damn hot. hahass, i dun kw whether those people will be reading this, but i realli tink amalia is hot. Good looks coupled with a devil's figure, wootz, perfection. But she's muslim, and though im not racist, i cant bear to part with pork. And though she's so perfect, i still tink 'she' is better, i dun kw why. Even eugene also dun understand when i told him my preference. lolx.

The indon and viet guys are also quite fun to be with, though there's the language barrier. People like Phu, Filbert and Oscar are realli fun people to be with. And typical singaporean guys like jialiang were also wonderful to befriend.

And this trip was quite fruitful, though time is quite hectic because we have a packed full day schedule, the OG people still found time to take towels and go star-gazing at nite. Gazing at the stars gave me an answer to a dead-knot deep in my heart. We saw shooting stars and i personally wished upon the stars to grant me something, though that something im toking about, needs lots of effort on my part. Oh well....

And so, this trip was fun and i've grown further. My business has just started rolling, which im damn happy about, because i finally took the first step. My family is also doing well, financially im working abit here and there, which will be enough to pay my bills till the business profits come in. What im lacking is what i wished for. Figure it out. :)

K, that's about all i wanna write now, im simply dying to get in bed to sleep. I will blog in whatever i forgot in the nxt entry. So ya, im going now. nitez.

Jason's Simplicity: Starlight, starbright.

Timid-ology

Went to source for suppliers todae, learnt alot todae. I realised im damn interested in business man, i like to listen to people's advice and then come out with my own judgement. Knowing people is also fun, though many might not be ur business partners in the end. I found out alot about how businesses operate, and the difficulties of a initial startup, that's y i say, i learnt alot todae. heh.

Anyways these days im at home rotting, not because i dun have a job, but because noone called. Its getting sickening rotting at home, although i can watch all my dramas in peace. Currently im catching up on Heroes Season 2, Prison Break Season 3 and the various jap and korean dramas. Jap drama wise im watching Kurosagi now, its nice, but i heard Liar Game is better, so most prob after Kurosagi i will move on to Liar Game.

And since i have so much time, i also borrowed the entire Naruto anime from fei zai win to slowly watch. Im contented to spend time at home watching shows and playing games, yet when reality strucks, it always hurts. Financial woes always follows when u rot for too long, u do so many things that make u happy, and at the end of the mth when all the bills come, u cry father cry mother also no use, no money means no money. Fuck.

And i have so much stuffs to buy, new clothes, raybans ( i kw, its been almost 6 mths since i said i wanted to get them) , new specs, new contact lens, PSP, ipod touch.... and the list continues. The age old saying is extremely true, money never seems to be enough, the law of economics always applies, trying to satisfy unlimited wants with limited resources. Ta ma de, hao poor....

My dreams of driving a BMW by nxt yr feb have to be postponed, simply because i haven actually done any thing as of todae. Its such a pain in the ass when only a few people have the guts and the drive to do something about their ambitions. People think of becoming rich lah, be boss lah, drive big car and have lots of paper money etc, but how many of these dumb asses have the balls and guts to start something?

People like to drag and procrastinate, to me its simple, if the plan is good and everything is in place, just do it, be a man. If u dun start and u're afraid of this and that, u will never take the first step at all. (this applies to business, not romance, im balless in romance after being totally battered in the last attempt. sad but true.)

Be not afraid of failure, be afraid of not even starting. Why do i suddenly address this issue? Because there's too many people that dun dare to take the steps. I dun blame those that are busy, because they're busy and i totally understand their position ( im nice, i told ya guys. ) But for those rotting at home playing some MMORPG until they have no life for any other fuck things, then its another issue altogether. I dun beg to get people to join my crew, i offer, ai mai sua, dun come and 'hang up and sell', i fuck u understand? :)

Im not tulanz though i use strong words above, but well, im just a little disappointed in people. When will i meet those people that have the same drive and passion as me? I have some frends that are passionate and have the drive, but they're just too busy. ( Except ah wei, he likes stress, dun kw why.)

And one more thing, playing mahjong and watching dramas and playing games occasionally are good for your health, that's why i do them alot. Mahjong train brain, drama train charisma, gaming train fingers. See? Its useful.

Kuku was telling me how nice it was in China, which makes me wanna go there again. The last time i went was during sec school times i tink, when i waiting for poly after my O levels. Went to Jiu Zai Gou, some place near Yunnan. The view there was BREATH-TAKING, fucking hell there's this 7 Color Lakes there that are the 7 colors of the rainbow. Each of the lake is EXACTLY the color of the rainbow, and its just so damn wonderful.

I was there just as the final snowflakes are melting off, so its damn cold, yet enchanting. I had my first snow fight there with my cousins ( yeah, its a family trip.) and the feeling of snow smashing in ur face with ur specs intact isnt so nice. Ahh..... those were the days.... hohoho.. thinking about it, i look like Hiro Nakamura when i was younger. hahass, for those that dun kw who is he, he's the fat jap guy in Heroes.

Well, i tink i have to end here, because i wanna continue watching Heroes, and before i forget, next entry i shall paste the lyrics of my new song here. heh :)

Bang! : God will not help those that dun help themselves. So what's he there for?

Jason's Simplicity : Horoscopes are dumb, they never come true. lolx.

Dark*Deeds

I sometimes do wonder, how would i handle a betrayal, or people plotting stuffs behind my back, planning to sell me out after they've done using me. We humans are dark and selfish, that includes myself as well. There are some people u trust and treasure, and there are those that u deemed as expendable. Everybody have a priority list, and the positions of the various people goes up and down with ur proximity to that person.

Was tinking about this not because i was betrayed or something, its just recently we're going to do something quite evil, but its for the greater good. Sometimes people understand and kw that someone isnt cut out to lead, its time they took action and have ambitions of their own.

Therefore i think the corporate world and society is just that, bright on the surface, dark beneath. People u meet in life, is like tools sometimes, only the selected few that are closer to ur heart are those u called true frends. Personally, there are people in my life that will never ever think about betraying or selling them out, because i know, they will be the only ones standing with me when things spin out of control.

In ancient times, loyalty and honour are the conducts required of a man, yet in modern days, both these values are dumb and naive. Its a dog eat dog world out there, either u eat urself or be eaten. Im a sensitive person, that's a good and bad point sometimes. Bad, because i tend to think too much over silly details, good, because i see people's true nature easily. It's saddening when u see people falling for somebody's 'good intentions' when infact he/she has a modus operandi.

Its realli veri hard to treat people as people without being biased and stereotyping them, believe me, i tried. For example, guys are usually better to gals as compared to guys, and all the more so to pretty gals. Anyways how did i come so far? i digress too much i guess, lol.

Courage, something that is sorely lacking in modern day men and a widely misunderstood concept. It's meaning differs from person to person, and todae, i shall lecture on my take on courage. :)

Courage, the more educated u are, the less u have generally. People who are smart factor in alot of external conditions before arriving at a decision, and the decision rarely falls on the aggressive side. Being passive has its benefits, yet it does not gives a yield. And so the age old question pops up, would u risk being harmed in the process of getting something, or would u rather stay put and hope the man above bestows something upon u?

Hot-blooded males believe fighting and standing up to someone or something is courage, the ability to decimate and destroy ur enemies despite overwhelming odds is courage. And therefore they are labeled as dumb barbarians. Violence does not equate courage, although there are times when they do co-exist. True courage stems from knowing what to do at the right time and proceeding to do it without hesitating.

I know, this entry seems abit here and there, but im getting tired, its like 5am in the morning, so bear with me okay? :)

After the lengthy crap above, its time to come back to my life. Boring life. I've been watching japanese dramas online these few days, no job info from yun, so technically im rotting at home. Regarding my obsession, i leave it to the entity call fate ba, no point tinking so much and in the end cock up right? ya, correct, smart jason.

And ending this long and bo liao entry, i still tink noone realli understands me well, seriously. I need to find someone that understands and is WILLING to understand me well, i feel too bottled up sometimes man. Argh, watver lah, its hopeless, realli.

My O : This will be the last entry for u O, let fate decide ba. Keep smiling always. :)

Jason's Simplicity : And so another cycle of my life ends. What's next?

CB Tagboard

Okays, as u guys saw, i changed my tagboard and removed the non-working jukebox. I still dun kw how the fuck my chatterbox disappeared, but who the fuck cares, i just went to get another tagboard. And i went to source for a nice song to put on my blog to musically emphasize my esteem level. lolx. Anyways, smart. :)

Jay's new song, Wo Bu Pei, is wonderful, as usual. heh. I have the lyrics right here and i guess it does bring back lots of sad memories for some people. I have no experience to even feel sad about, because im officially single for 24 yrs and counting. ^_-

我不配

这街上太拥挤
太多人有秘密
玻璃上有雾气在被隐藏起过去
你脸上的情绪
在还原那场雨
这巷弄太过弯曲走不回故事里

这日子不再绿
又斑驳了几句
剩下搬空回忆的我在大房子里
电影院的座椅
隔遥远的距离
感情没有对手戏你跟自己下棋

还来不及仔仔细细写下你的关于
描述我如何爱你
你却微笑的离我而去

这感觉已经不对
我努力在挽回
一些些应该体贴的感觉我没给
你嘟嘴许的愿望很卑微在妥协
是我忽略你不过要人陪

这感觉已经不对
我最后才了解
一页页不忍翻阅的情节你好累
你默背为我掉过几次泪多憔悴
而我心碎你受罪你的美我不配

Meaningful rite? Sometimes looking at my frens that had broken relationships and the look on their face when they think about the past, it makes me wonder, is my 24 yrs of single-hood a blessing or a curse? I've never been seriously broken hearted before, because u cannot break something that havent even start. Spurned in love, yes, fallen in love, no. hahass.

Dun kw how come im blogging bout this kinda thing, but yeah, the big question, curse or blessing? Staying true and simple to urself in the midst of all this clatter and ramblings of life isnt easy, so all the more difficult is the quest to clearly define urself emotionally. I will leave the answer to whoever dictates human fate, because i am but a man.

Went to Zouk ytd with the guys, had fun, saw lots of people from our school. Local Unis are having exams, JCs have 'A' Levels and the 'O' level kids are too young to enter, so there we were, lots of SIM people. On the mrt with xh and eugene, we tried to prophecize who will be there, and true enough, we were right. lolx.

Drank averagely ytd, abit tipsy, but im never drunk, heh. Clubbing with my current frens were fun, but in a milder way as compared to the past with ah wei they all. I dun club much realli, but the techno clubs in the past were my favourite places to club, though there's alot of violent incidents. Till now, im still quite a techno man when it comes to clubbing, i rather dance to fast tempo music than mid or slow tempo music.

No offense to mambo lovers, but i personally find it kinda funny tat people judge how well u can dance based on how well u memorized the motions. There's this uncle that they say dance veri well, but to me he's just another hype. Till this day, i still respect this guy that i saw in boatquay when i was younger and clubbing with ah wei. I forgot his name, but that guy can dance damn well, his motions were fluid and fast, wootz. Sure he is egoistic, but its understandable simply because he have the skills to back it up, as for the uncle, its realli laughable. lolx. Anyways i sucked at dancing so in the end, i guess i also dun have the right to judge. heh.

Made pizza todae, failed and wasted $17.70. sian. Im dumb seriously, the pizza crust is like 5 cm thick, and i tried to put every fuck thing onto the pizza, in the end the pizza loaded up to 15cm. LOLX! My sister kindly reminded me i could have separated the pizza into 2 large pizzas instead of 1 HUGE one, but the advice came too late. hoho, so i have to contend with a 15cm tall, 35cm long and 20cm wide 'pizza'. Sibei dumb hor? hahahas!

My O : I tried, but its doesn't seem to be working, so ya, sorry.

Jason's Simplicity : They say persevere, i say dun go for someone thats too far fetched. She's just too perfect and beautiful. Sua lah. Yesh, i agree im ball-less.

I want your attention...

Things are starting to roll around, and im happy as it is. Im back online and loving every moment of it. heh. I rotted at home ytd, and tonite its time for some mambo. hohoho, god bless nobody bothers me while i have fun tonite, aunties and gays pls dun terrorize me. please. Guanyin ma bo pi me, let me have a safe and fun nite with the guys ba. Amithapha.

The day before, went out to sing ktv and watch movie with the OG, and its fun going out with a crowd, its been sometime since i went out with a crowd man. Anyways, Game Plan was quite alright, The Rock was as usual, sporting rock solid muscles. I wonder how long he took to train up to tat kinda build, steroids? hmms...

There are some stuffs i dun even dare to write here anymore, simply because if i didnt do what i said, im slapping myself in the face. hahass, i tink u guys can roughly guess what its about. :) I wanna be Top 50. simple.

Money money money, have to work again. sianz. Im tinking of changing jobs, selling credit cards is boring and the remuneration aspect isnt so transparent, therefore i cant help but conclude otherwise. Im most prob going to dye my hair purplish black, because i tink its cool and i have nvr had black hair before, since young my hair was brown. Purplish black, wootz. And should i pierce my ear? Better not ba, i dun tink i have the look. Fat punk with earring? Er xin.

Okies, now comes the demoralizing part. Almost all my frens are attached. Almost. Even kenneth, gosh. Not that kenneth is bad lah, but he's the last person i expect to get attached so fast man. And so the curse continues, i suspect it will continue with my O too, because i feel that im simply not her type. She's definitely my type, because she's that gal i wanna bring with me to backpack around the world.

Yet these types of things hor, is both sided one, so no use dreaming and dreaming and then end of the day, its onli one sided. Sad, but true. Whether i try to do something anot is based on how successful i am this 2 mths. If i can shed some lard, then maybe i would give it a try, if not, i can continue drawing circles on the floor. Yup, continue drawing.

Looking around, i realized my room is in a mess, notes sprawled all over the floor, clothes lying in piles around the room. Its that time of the yr again, spring cleaning time. -.-" Im tinking how bout i wait till the pay is in le, then i go ikea buy some new furniture? Watever. I just need to clear the mess.

Should i go swimming or gyming or lift weights at home? There's alot of kids in the pool since its school holidays now, same for the gym, so lift weights at home? Sianz. So many options, so little choices. I tink todae weights ba, since there's no sun, no point swim and nvr get tanned.

Before i go, jay's new album is out, though i had his album before hand. He's songs are very creative as usual, his new songs: Cai Hong, Qing Hua Ci, Wo Bu Pei and Pu Gong Ying De Yue Ding are damn nice, his worse song in this album is Niu Zai Hen Mang, it sucked man, to me at least.

My O : They say gal's sixth sense is veri accurate, and so, is yours too?

Jason's Simplicity : Im studying Sun Tzu's Art Of War nowadays, but im keeping it simple.

Return of the Lam-ster

Okay, its been 200 yrs since i last blogged. 2 more days to go before the exams is officially over and i can finally drag myself to go reconnect back my net. As usual, im using my bro's com to blog, sigh...

HMT is a piece of shit. Fucked up module, fucked up lecturer, fucked up pioneers. If my future boss ask me during interview --> who is charles babbage? i will tell him ---> ya, i eat cabbage.

Im slacking around alot these days, because im studying for my exams and i liked to give myself this excuse that if i kept training, i might injure my hands then cannot sit for exams. Ya, probably. After this friday's HMT paper, i swear to the mighty heavens that i will continue where i left off. Being a fatter fuck then what i am now isnt in my plans for 2008.

Due to the high stress factor during HMT studies, i actually wrote a song ytd nite man. I drafted out the chorus lyrics and melody, and i will try to figure out the rest of the song tonite. The song talks about breaking up ( as usual, i know. -.- ) and maybe i will add some other factors or twist to the storyline. The next song i write after this will be dedicated to my O. :)

My O, im realli realli into her man, i dun kw why. Its been sometime and the feeling simply got stronger. Yet reality simply hit me stark in face everytime i consider my odds of winning her heart --> its not possible. Hohoho, ironic leh, but unless i become a better man, chances of me holding her hands is probably equivalent to me winning TOTO.

The heart is vast, i realised. So dun bother trying to figure out what other people think, maybe its called insensitive, but why bother man? What do u accomplish when u are right or wrong? So accordingly, screw those attempts at knowing people's thoughts. Be myself, do what i want as long as i dun infringe any formal or latent laws of mankind.

And so, i shall end this entry here to continue writing my song. When i come back online on friday, i shall leak some controversial stuffs here. heh.


My O : I have no looks, no money, no talent. Will u accept me for who i am?

Jason's Simplicity : Fats are a major deterrent factor in courtship. Tested and proven. Courtesy of me. :)

Ensuing Serenity

3 weeks and counting without net. Sad to say, im not connecting back until after exams, simply because i need to study. Its been ages since i've DOTAed with the guys, i guess they're missing me like mad. Anyways being offline has its benefits, to me at least. Im staying in skool to study till quite late, because go home also no net. There are other subtle benefits as well, which i will not address here.

My revision is going quite well, im confident with ER, Comm Law and Finance, but HMT is fucked up. If i can get a PA for HMT, i will be satisfied, simply because the fucking lecturer is a piece of useless shit, and the lecture notes he gave were similar to a photo album with pictures of insane old fucktarts that died ages ago. People that tried damn hard to make management as complex a topic as possible so that we will have a hard time with the module named HMT. Fuck.

Like what eugene and me agreed upon on the bus ytd nite, our finance lecturer is that kinda guy men wanna be when they age, our HMT lecturer is the exact opposite. I guess enough about HMT, i can never finish complaining.

Now we come to the infamous 'Indo' girl. There's this gal in skool that caught our attention, she's this indonesian chinese gal that everybody agrees is hot. Some say pretty, some say hot, i say my O is prettier and hotter. She wins this indon girl hands down, to me that is. Heh.

My O : Gal~~~

Jason's Simplicity : Its just a means to an end.

Ex-Communicated

Baby,baby,baby! Dun ask me why, i just love to say that nowadays. Im DCed and therefore im living without net for like 1 week already. Im using my bro's com to blog now, kinda sad man. Exams coming in 2 weeks time, and therefore im mugging alot nowadays.

Most of the stuffs are on halt for now, due to the beloved exams. Exam period seems to have a stasis effect on my life, almost EVERYTHING halts. No ktv, no mahjong, no going gai gai, no training etc. The only thing i look forward to is going to school to study, which only 1 - 2 hrs of the time there is effectively 'studying'. Dun kw why, but im that kinda person that dun like to stress myself too much, i study as much as i like and then i switch off. Cannot study finish, nvm, just summarize up the stuffs will do. :)

The guys are great frens to be with, full of crap and nonsense, yet the jokes are not too childish. We're planning some kinda OG outing after the exams, and tentatively its either KTV or bowling. Lets see how things go ba. After exams, i have so much people to catch up with, i hope my wallet can take the impact. Being poor is so sad.

A new competitor recently came up and ah wei is stressed. Sometimes i tink besides having a capable buddy as a partner, we need some good and efficient partners too. If somebody is given a task to complete, and after 3 mths its still not done, that person is useless. The magnitude of the job isnt that epic, its just some routine job that he has the exact expertise on, yet he failed to deliver. Lousy. Therefore, ah wei and i kinda pray that the person do that job fast enough, if not, we confirm up the lorry. Sibei Sad.

Enough about sad things, lets tok about somebody that makes me happy whenever i see her. My O! She never fails to bring some sort of unknown happiness to me though she doesnt know it. Someday baby, someday. :)

My O : My horoscope says what is not possible is actually possible. true?

Jason's Simplicity : Wishlist --> Pass Exams, Successful Business, Get Her.

Heh

Its a wonder im still blogging here, theoretically my net should have been cut ytd nite. Anyways whatever, since i have the connection, lets blog. :)

Todae was a happy day, went skool for HMT last lesson and wrapped up HMT project. Tomolo there's comm law test, i just finished studying. Tomolo gtg skool for test and to sign the HMT project before submission. Should be a good day tomolo, i foresee i will be happy again tml, hahas, the reason i shall not say. heh.

Im gradually changing i noticed, the more stuffs i watch and observe, the more im changing. Maybe u get influenced by people u hang out with, i used to be more subtle in the past, but recently i identified a raging masochistic urge rising within me. Something simply clicked in me and im going into vagrant mode. What influenced me? I dun kw, maybe its my O?

Whatever i change into, im still the old jason in front of the folks. I will still tok rot with the guys, i will still go gaga infront of my O, that's for certain. Change shouldnt have such a impact on ur frens to the extend that they dun even kw u for who u are anymore.

The air in school is heavy with the exams just around the corner. People start to show stressed faces as they realised to their horror that thruout the semester, they didnt understood much. I belong to the drifters, people that drift along the semester. Im not flustered, because within me, a cool and calm soul operates. Cool...japuteh....

Mystic black, after exams i shall dye my hair tat color. Black is the in color now, and i want a purple tinge to differentiate from those normal jet black hair. So its either mystic black or dark purple. Im trying to leave long hair as well, because i dun have any reservist this year, so i have the luxury have having long hair. song. ( Copper red also seems nice, hmms...)

My O : Seeing is enough for now.

Jason's Simplicity : I might not be the best man on the block, but i do try to be one.

Random

Epic question invented to kill men: If ur mother and ur wife dropped into the sea, who will u save? Both cant swim, and u can only save one. The answers that we guys give are dumb and will effectively label us as a unfaithful or unfilial person. So what would be the 'perfect' answer to this question? Hmms...

The mother spent so many yrs nurturing u, providing for u, so to somebody that's filial, they would choose to save the mother. Yet on a practical aspect, the wife is the one that will accompany u till ur grave (theoretically), so saving the wife ensures that the future is never lonely. Coming to terms, u can easily get another wife, but u only have one mother. So how?

Ultimately, it boils down to what kinda person u are, emotional or practical. Everybody have a different answer for this question, that's why i say its a dumb question. I will never allow them near the beach in the first place if they dun even kw how to swim. Duh.

I finished the Jap Hana Kimi just now in the afternoon. Ending is nice, i like the part where sano kissed mizuki, the ending is definitely better then those shows where one of the folks die in the end. Shows should be entertaining rite? The scriptwriters are abit sadistic leh, write till the main leads die until so cham. Example is those korean sad sad shows, autumn in my heart etc...

Later i most prob will get DCed, so i guess i end this entry here ba, when i get reconnected back then i blog in my next entry. :)

My O : Will what i feel become real?

Jason's Simplicity : A last minute man gets last minute results. Me.

Emo

Middle of the nite, listening to TONG KU DE REN by WU BAI, pondering about the issues in life. Listening to the tune, i cant help but feel helpless against the tides of fate. There's so much to life, sometimes its overwhelming. As a man, u cant give up, and therefore you have to persevere no matter how intimidating the odds. In the past, people can adopt the spartan code of bravery, where its said tat the spartans never ask how many, they ask where are they.

In the present, adopting that move is plain suicide, tat's y bravery always pales in comparison to brains. Brave men are controlled by smart men, its a social fact. I dun kw how come i digress so much to tok about something so vague. Crazy me.

Seeing Naka the other day reminded me of something. Naka is fit and bulky now, he joined our school's dragon boat. Haiz, i wanted to join, yet i dun have the intention to spend time going to kallang to row. Every friday have to go back to school in the evening to train, im too lazy to go back to school, its too far. Me and my whiny whinings.

And thanks to nich, who chose to walk pass a rarely walked pass area in school, i saw huimin. She's still as lovely and she seems happy, so i also didnt went to greet her. She's the only girl besides my O, who will make me go gaga and act like some shy school boy. I dun understand how come she has that kinda grip on me, but i dun care anyways, that feeling is nice. :)

Okies, now its qing tian, jay zhou. Nice song that bleeds the tears from ur heart. The song sings of a past love, the kinda sweet sweet love that brings everybody back to who they realli were, naive and innocent. Winds of time changes everything, even souring a sweet love to something that isnt even recognizable. Though new season always comes, the sweetest memories will always be the times spent in the past with that somebody, though its never meant to be right from the start.

Im not speaking about myself, i dun even have the luxury of being in a sad love story. Its more like a innate feeling that the song brings out in me. Like i said before, different songs holds different meaning to me. Some of the songs remind me of that special someone during a period in my life. Everytime that song plays, i become a emo kid, the details of that past that was not to be replays itself in my head once again. Being too emo isnt good, because its a weakness, urban people should have a heart colder then steel. Ironically, i would rather be a creature of emotions, then a iron-hearted man.

Exams are coming, i shouldnt be tinking so much, studies should take precedence. Revision starts tomolo, and the no life period begins once again. After so long, loneliness should have became a habit already. Most prob the curse will continue, and its juz not meant to be. Unspoken, yet oh so obvious.

My O : The cold rain trickles or pours?

Jason's Simplicity : Being simple, isnt simple at all. It never was.

I Believe

Dark secrets, i blogged about them once. Everybody have dark secrets, and i happen to be somebody that's damn good at finding out dark secrets. Some secrets, aint that secretive after all, its just that people around u see stuffs better then u, because outsiders always have a clearer picture.

U can either perceive somebody to be bad, or good, tat's obvious, but though other people say you're bad, i'd rather remain neutral, simply because i believe alot in u. The world can say u're fucked up, but i'd be the one to believe u till the end, simply because i simply couldnt convince myself u're a bad person. Maybe ur masquerade is so well done that i couldnt see what others see, i dun care, what matters is i still believe in you. Truly.

Perception, the stuff that makes or breaks a man. True enough, how u perceive ppl and the world around u affects u alot, therefore i believe judgment should not be passed. I believe in the true-ism of mankind, and though it sounds naive, i always seek to discover the best in people. Everybody have a beautiful side, no matter how pretty or ugly he or she appears on the surface.

I judge by looks i admit, but what lies within? The substance of a woman is more important then the form of a woman. Remember this sentence, its so veri true.

Okies, enough of the dead-pan stuffs, lets tok about something more light hearted : My O!
Whenever i tok about her, im so damn happy though i know she will never be mine. Gazing at her from afar is enough to make my day, no idea why, but yeah, im happy. I shall never have the courage to woo her i guess, i do know my place in society. :)

I always go ga ga infront of her, dun kw why, this type of feeling feels funny, because i onli experienced it when i was much younger, the gal in question during that period of time was huimin. hahass. Reflecting back on the younger days, its kinda dumb yet sweetly cute. :P

My O : My reaction speaks volumes on my shyness. U made me feel shy. hohoho

Jason's Simplicity : Charisma, what is it? Its felt, never defined.

Laughable

Todae, i have something substantial to blog about. Quite informative, according to me.

Firstly, remember the slimming pill fab that kinda blew over a few yrs back? Though im fat, i didnt even bother trying them, simply because they are so expensive man. Nonsense man, $200 bucks for a normal box of silly pills. Duh, i tink the real reason that people lost weight is because they pay so much for the pills leaving them with barely enough to survive the month, therefore lacking money to buy food and ultimately slimming down. Must be. Nonsense.

Second is about my sudden madness yesterday nite. I went berserk and downloaded 20 plus korean songs, especially RnB ones. I got the top recommended korean songs from googling and proceeded to download them. Legally. Ya right. And let me tell u this, korean RnB is totally sensational man. Im a RnB fan and therefore my benchmark for a good RnB song is quite high, but seriously, korean RnB ---> among asia's best.

Korean artistes like Fly To The Sky, MC Mong, EPIK, Taebin, Se7en and 1TYM are realli good. And taebin is a rough idea on how i wanna be, though im damn fat lah, but at least got something to aim towards. :)

This is Taebin.

I know, some of u will be laughing ur hearts out, to be truthful, i also find it laughable that somebody as fat as me will become like tat. hahahass, but its always good to have a brief idea of how u wanna sculpt. But its not as perfect, i want a slightly bulkier feel, asian guys are abit scrawny sometimes in my opinion. Ang mohs are most of time over-built. Its hard to strike a balance between bulk and definition, u have to sweat litres in the gym man.

This week i've been slacking off before i do a shock training to simulate the engines. Its not obvious that im training, because i dun walk around naked. duh. But i like what i see in the mirror, that's the most important. Being satisfied with urself beats satisfying others. heh.

My O : I have a feeling u kw u're my O. Its in the eyes gal. lol.

Jason's Simplicity : Im nobody special, but that makes me wanna make the extra effort to be somebody special to you.

The Economical Man

Unlimited wants, limited resources. The core paradox of Economics. It happens to everybody, and therefore the wiser folks tells us that satisfaction is the greatest wealth. Another side of the coin educates us to work hard and strive for the better things in life. Human psychology is ironic isnt it?

And since i belong to the modern era of mankind, or lets just say society bred me to think in the capitalist school of thought, i shall list out the stuffs i wanna get with the limited resources i have.
One more thing, since there is so much wants, maybe i should just list out a few ba.

First and foremost, i want either a BMW Z4 convertible or a Nissan Fairlady Z350. Both the rides costs around 150K to 200K, i know its kinda far fetched, but who the hell says i cannot aim high?

Next i want a Ray-Ban sunglass. I've been saying this for god knows how long and yet i still dun have the cash to buy it. Sad but true. Haiz.

Thirdly i want more apparels. Shirts especially, and also 2 leather jackets, one black one brown.

Fourth, I want a I-phone. Self-explainatory.

Fifth, a Ipod Touch. Definitely self-explainatory.

Sixth, I want a laptop to do my work. Its always better to use my desktop to play game, my lappy to do work. More efficient, more jason-friendly and more professional.

Seventh, 30 Inch Flat Screen TV to watch my shows and dramas.

Eighth, 20 Lots of DBS Shares. They're fucking expensive, but well worth the effort because the time value of money is increased constantly here.

Ninth, a Blackberry or PDA for working purposes. Its handy and totally worth the money when things start getting busier.

Tenth, last but not least, my obsession. Im mad about her and there's nothing i can do about it. What to do? List her as one of my top wants lor. :)

My O : Will i tio TOTO this coming friday?

Jason's Simplicity : Being overly obsessed with a person will only bring sorrow to urself sometimes, so moral of the story is dun let that person know. heh.

Blossom

The stark difference between the lives of a fit hunk and a fat punk never fails to astounds. Looks is not everything they say, yet its the face that attracts people to initiate contact. Lets stop chiding ourselves, we are superficial creatures. No escaping from that.

And the similarities between the sexes ends there. From there on, guys are spurred on by physiques and gals tend to look towards the inner aspect. A very huge respect i have for some gals is they realli meant what they say, they can see pass alot of stuffs and accept a guy no matter how ugly he looks. That i believe is something that alot find hard to do.

Yet when rejection sets in, do not tell urself that u were rejected simply because u dun have looks. Its just some kinda dumb excuse to convince urself that you were rejected because of some superficial stuffs and that people do not look deeper into you. Sometimes its not because u're ugly or ur personality sucks, its simply that people feels that their hands does not suit yours, its that simple. Why bother going to great lengths to tell urself that its because of some other factors that u can improve and hopefully things will take a 180 degree turn?

Improving urself is good, but not because u tell urself that improving urself will give urself false hope. Its crazy realli. I've been veri sick the past days as u can see from the previous entry. While i was sick, i slept for very long, and i suddenly have all the time and peace to look at myself from another perspective.

The cycle simply keeps on running, lets see how long this thing will run. The heart, besides being an organ, also is the traditional place to store your emotions. The heart must always be guided by the brain, if it ran on its own, things go awry and u go crazy. I know, things like this running in my mind is dumb, but it doesnt hurt to tink about it abit, im more of a philosopher then anything else remember?

Therefore now, the storm is over, i've recovered. I took sometime to get things right within me, its longer then last time, but its the only way to really purge things. Sorry for the long wait, im now back to being the fren u've known. :)

Alrite, i was toking about looks rite? Kks, right now im still obsessed with O. The more u behold, the more u find her pretty with an attitude to boot. Wootz~ But like i said, seeing is enough, i dun tink i wanna start anything rite now, i dun wanna give up the peace that i found after so many weeks of struggling. Right now i juz wanna concentrate my studies, my training and sorting out my silly NS liabilities.

Maybe next semester ba. This semester lets just restrict myself to those few close frens i have ba, i will hi-bye new people because i realli cant be bothered with them much. I know, i am a cb, but i rather be anti-social then get into some crazy shit again.

I know this is a long entry, but still i have to write this paragraph down. I have a feeling that very soon, a frendship will be put to the test. Dun ask me why i feel that way, im just worried will we become enemies if the test fails? Money is always the key factor in separating frends, i just hope that it will not happen to us. Im not being wimpy here, its just i've seen so many examples.

My O : When will the obsession end?

Jason's Simplicity : I am back to one. Simple yet complex to complex people.

Fuck

Im not feeling well. Feeling abit sick and feverish now. Fuck that feeling.

Tomolo is finance test, i seriously doubt my ability to think properly tml, im feeling damn heaty now. Tomolo suppose to play street soccer with the guys somemore, how? Cb one, always sick at dumb times.

Im nobody special, im just a normal guy struggling with my normal life. That's how i see myself, life is kinda routine these days as usual. Being a special person and being in the limelight is tempting at times, but i just dun wanna become a social butterfly. When i started out, i dun mind being friendly to establish a circle of frends to stick to, and after that i settle down. Why bother to know more people when the more people u kw, the more u are tempted to change? And change is most of the time bad.

Therefore i am anti-social to some extend. People introduce me, i give hi bye. Pretty or not, hi bye. For guys its different, as long as they are not too fucked up, i most prob will tok to them. Its hard to even afford a smile nowadays, my heart is heavy with alot of issues lining up in my life.

IPPT must pass,RT must book, ICT must defer, exams must pass, fats must burn, money must earn, bills must pay.... as if my life is not fucked up as it is. I do understand that thy shall not blame god or whatever fuck is residing up there in the heavens for thy personal misfortune, but still, its better then blaming myself. heh.

I know this entry seems rude and vulgar, but who the fuck cares? Im sick and feeling feverish, and im not being childish here, the problems listed above are fucking real. Tell me which of my problems are kiddish? Im no saint, therefore dun expect me to be mr nice guy all the time.

There's always my dark side that i dun show anybody, and this dark side always appears to be a respite whenever im at the lowest point of my life. Dun piss me off during this period, i am exceptionally violent and temperamental during this time. Dun believe people when they say a sick man is a weak man. That is not true.

I ate something wrong todae i tink, most prob is the chicken chop rice. Am i suffering from food poisoning? Went to the toilet 3 times alreadi, and worse thing is i cant fucking sleep because i had to study for the test tml. Fucked up life, fucked up body, fucked up test. Fuck.

My O : What's the key gal?

Jason's Simplicity : I buay song now.

Solo Solitude

Its that empty period again, where u have nothing much to look forward to. Finance test on saturday, yet there's no sense of urgency. Hmph.

While lifting weights in the gym todae, i saw the fat fat me. Still so fat, maybe its my diet? Anyways i had a sudden craving for sandwiches nowadays. Its unexplainable, i just love sandwiches. So much so that after training todae, i went to the market to buy lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, ham and bread. Once i reach home, i tried digging my toaster out, but in the end for some mysterious reason i couldnt find it.

Since im so smart, i used the oven to toast the bread and made sandwiches. Satisfaction. I simply love the taste and crunch of the sandwich. In skool nowadays, my meal consists of a sandwich and a low-sugar soyabean milk. Dun kw why, i had a realli drastic switch of taste after my cool-off period.

I understand everything takes time, but sometimes u do wanna rush things up abit, simply because change seems so slow. Perseverance, the long word that holds a even longer waiting time. I realized i've been so occupied with physical training that i have left out my boxing sessions. I miss those times when i vent lots of stuffs with every single blow on the sandbag. Balance is what i seek, and right now i need to spend more time on my studies, exams are 1 and a half months away man. I gotta clear the exams, then i can spend the holidays training up.

My O : Im so aimless now u kw? I wished there was somebody i could talk to.

Jason's Simplicity : The struggles of life are intrinsic or extrinsic?

Heart Felt

Jason's Feelings:

Heart still as water. i know how that feels like, its a very peaceful feeling, a tranquil knowledge that u have accepted things and moved on. I might not have what i wanted, and i may never get what i want, but i can accept that what i wanted was never meant to be what i can get. There's no such thing as someone who isnt worth another person in this world, its just the perspective on the issue.

What im glad is that at least sometime was spent considering the possibility before. For this 2 weeks, i kinda cooled off alot, and i guess its fair that i took the time off because put alot into this. In a way, its good, because this finally gave me the determination and courage to put my life on the right track.

Things are already rolling out on ah-wei's side, and the plan will be most probably be launched before ah-wei's birthday. What plan, i cannot say now, but i really hope this venture will be successful, because though i might not get very rich, ah-wei will be successful and can show those people that looked down on him that he can make it in life. Im not noble or what, its just a heart-felt wish that my best childhood frend can make his mark in life. :)

And regarding my O, she's really too beautiful to behold for long, i can only secretly look at her. I don't even have the guts to ask her out. hahahass, its kinda funny feeling like tat because since after secondary school, i never felt so kiddish and shy before. Call me pessimistic or ball-less, but i seriously doubt she will even consider going out with me, i mean, would u go out with a fat fuck?

Upgrading myself, is it really necessary? Lying to myself is one of my greatest skills, telling myself, after upgrading myself, what i want will be what i get. hahahasss, what an ironic and childish thinking, when someone likes u, its for who u are, not what u are. Its just predetermined that my hand doesnt fits hers, its that simple, so why should i tell myself that changing the shape of my hand will in the end fit hers? heh.

(Its raining outside, so im abit solemn, but i guess that's kinda how i felt.)

My O : If only fate allow me to bring you into my world.

Jason's Simplicity : I have planned my future, am i realli that simple after all?

相爱...

Lets talk about music today, i am compelled to talk about music. Why? Because there's a song that im addicted to right now. So much so that i kept repeating it on my mp3 player for 27 times to and from work today. I know, its crazy, but i seriously loved this song that much.

Initially when i heard the song from a blog, i thought its nothing super impressive about the song, but i still went ahead to download the song due to unknown reasons. After listening to the song a couple of times more, i found it getting better and better. I went to download the MTV and from then on, im totally hooked on this song, its realli sibei nice.

What is this song? Its ' Whatever they say" by DBSK. Nice until cannot, hohoho. Listen one time, high one time, walk also got 'wind'. I appreciate good music, and i appreciate good people that intro good music to me. Thanks :)

And so people, since im damn happy now, im going to intro a song to you people. Its a canto song, hence those that dun understand canto can pass on this one. But since im such a nice guy, im posting the lyrics here for u people to read and 'feel'. ^_^

相爱无梦
歌手：张智霖


跟你抱着未等于爱上
不再抱着未等于不想
你我在这分钟
说过无缘再见
下秒钟再凑巧碰上

即使一起貌合却又神离
分隔两地日夜挂着愁眉
再各自结新欢
却暗地拿你去比较现有的
始终偏袒你

有心爱你却爱不到
抱紧了你却又未想终老
再等到与对方失散以后
就会知原来谁最好
爱不到至会更想爱
抱紧了你我又无心装载
我跟你也破不到
男与女之间爱情的定数

一个过活恨抱着情人
一对过活又挂念谁人
到了话要分开
你我尚有恻隐
又再探听对方新闻

即使一起貌合却又神离
分隔两地日夜挂着愁眉
再各自结新欢
却暗地拿你去比较现有的
始终偏袒你

有心爱你却爱不到
抱紧了你却又未想终老
再等到与对方失散以后
就会知原来谁最好
爱不到至会更想爱
抱紧了你我又无心装载
我跟你也破不到
男与女之间爱情的定数

Go download and listen for yourself, its damn nice and meaningful. If u're still wondering what good music to download, i shall post my current favourites here so that u people can go get them. Music, the universal language that connects mankind, and to me, the miracle medicine for wounds of the heart.

Current Favourites:

01. Whatever They Say - DBSK
02. 相爱无梦 - 张智霖
03. 天使都忌妒的生活 - 曹格
04. Sean Kingston - Beautiful Girl
05. For Awhile - Mni 민재 (The 1st shop of coffee prince OST)
06. Day by Day - Zhao Guan Yu ( Witch Yoo-Hee OST)
07. 西界 - 林俊杰
08. 爱情转移 - 陈奕迅
09. White Love Story - As One (The 1st shop of coffee prince OST)
10. 想听的话 - 石欣卉 & 王健复

My O : I do wonder sometimes, what's the outcome if i found the courage to put down all my fears and for once in my life attempt the one thing i really tink is impossible.

Jason's Simplicity : Im too afraid to do brave stuffs now, the scars of the veteran is too much to take.

Estranged Sanity

Latest update: The wounds have closed. Things will be normal from this moment on.

Went dotaing with the guys juz now, had a fun time. After that had dinner with nich and rei at Al-almein. Nice chilling out with them, toked about some stuffs that kinda soothed me. Its not that serious anyways, im just too whiny. Anyways what's over is over, therefore fuck the past. Full stop.

My O, confirmed plus chop class S. No balls to even try, my O totally outclassed me. Will try upgrading my class. My O, wooo~~~~ totally there man. Okay, im mad. :)

The torture starts. Dun understand? Control diet.
Morning: Oats (they totally sucked.)
Noon: Whatever the school offers, no fried. ( Most prob sandwich, i love school's sandwiches.) Dinner: Whatever mum cooks. ( Same boring phrase, no fried.)

Whatever i blog now is abit segmented, because i havent defragmented my brain yet, its juz finished rebooted. To think smart and act smart, i have to defragment my brain in time for the finance test next week. Like what i told the guys, i shall begin my holy finance pilgrimage next tuesday. Though i dun totally understand what mervyn (my finance lecturer), what i kw is at least i understand more then the others. hohoho.

Alrite, enough blabberings, i going out in my fren's car. I've to thank jerjer and fei zai win they all, all these nites fei zai win drove me out at nite to clear my brains. I love going around in a car in the middle of the nite, veri peaceful and tranquil, superb condition to to un-tie the knots in my heart. Im so going to get a car when i can afford it, so that i can drive around at nite to enjoy the coolness of the velvet skies. ( Get license first ba, no license still tok about getting car. cb)

Oh ya, before i forget, i added a new section called --> My O !


My O: Its hard to concentrate when im affected by your aura.

Jason's Simplicity: Underlying relationships that were kept from me.

Im a whiny fucktart.

I am not myself. I feel hollowed out, as if something is missing from my life. I guess when u get used to something, it takes time to understand tat something that u have already taken as a part of ur life is gone. Feels like a void in the soul, to be more poetically correct. Anyways its been too long, and im too whiny, doesn't feels like me at all. Should stop whining and get on with life, easily said. Fuck.

Studies are gathering momentum now, its going to be exams soon. Im still pissed with failing my comm law, but gonna get it over and done with this time.

Some people like to send infuriating stuffs. Why do people like to escalate their own position and think that they are always right? Whatever they do is correct, whatever others do is wrong. What others do, the others wasting time, what they do, is beneficial for mankind, self-explainatory. My response for this kinda crap is dun reply.

I've changed, i realized. My perspectives are now very different, i always seek to be more absolute in my actions and decisions. My brain kinda crashed awhile ago, and now its slowly rebooting again, but deep within, a silent paradigm shift has occurred. I still reserve the kiddish me for my close frens, because i kw, they appreciate the fun and jovial me.

To add more nonsense to my woes, a story of dumb dumbs suddenly needs somebody to fill up a continuing episode. Let me dictate the dumb story of 2 dumb dumbs. Lets name the 2 dumb dumbs: dumb1 and dumb2.

dumb1 met dumb2 at CCA club. dumb2 is attached. dumb1 went out with dumb2. dumb2 tells dumb1 that he is better then her bf. dumb1 go army, dumb1 spent time with dumb2 whenever he is free. dumb1 likes dumb2, which is fucking obvious. dumb1 pops question. dumb2 reject. dumb1 suffers in army. dumb1 moves on.

agar agar 1 yr later~~~

dumb1 lives happily in camp, waiting for ORD. dumb2 calls at wee hrs. dumb1 listens, dumb2 was cheated and pours sorrows. dumb1 went out with dumb2. dumb1 pops question again. dumb2 rejects again. dumb1 and dumb2 became close frens.

agar agar 1 yr later again~~~

dumb1 wakes up, reads handphone. dumb2 sms and pours sorrows again. dumb1 feels dumb2 is realli dumb, things would be so different if dumb2 accepted him 2 yrs ago. Anyways dumb1's soul is with some other dumb person already. So how will the dumb story continue? Should dumb1 try dumb2 again, or should dumb1 just move on?

Answer : dumb1 moved on, never looking backwards again.

Nice ending eh? Should be lah, the script jittao is drama material. Full of the ups and downs of life and the illogical antics of the human mind. I can be script writer liaoz. And that's just one of the scripts in my collection of drama scripts.

To O: You're so damn beautiful. I just want you to know. heh.

Jason's Simplicity : After you've freezed before, u know a little flame can never melt u.

Classified

Men are divided into 5 classes in Singapore. Class S,A,B,C,F respectively in descending order of prestige. This school of thought was derived after gathering lots of information from guys and gals around me, which means its quite reliable. Character is excluded as a factor in this study because personality is too diverse and cannot be generalized. (As a sidenote, character dun realli play much role nowadays anyway, that's from personal experience.)


Class C:
Class C are the guys who are smart. Smart as in intellectually gifted and eloquent. They impress with intelligence and talents. They talk smart, think smart, and are talented in music or some other kind of arts. Most gals admire talents to some extend or another, but they all kw talent does not feed a hungry stomach. (They usually are quite humorous due to their hyper developed brain cells.)

Class B:
Class B are the good-lookers, or in layman terms, hunk. They impress with their physical prowess and blessed faces. 6 Pecs, megawatt smile, wonderful hair that seems to fall into perfect position everytime everyday. Young gals totally die for this category of guys. Most jerks exist in this category simply because they kw how to utilize their looks to their advantage. Pushing the extremes of stereotypism, we can conclude most of the guys here are abit lacking in the intelligence department. ( But lets not push over the boat with a single oar.)

Class A:
Class A guys are the rich and powerful ones. They are financially strong and have loads of extra cash to spare. More often than not, they are have further empowered with a successful career either thanks to their parents or more rarely, their own ability. Balding hair, flabby waistlines are never a problem to them, they simply rock the world with cash. Most gals are not materialistic, but the things these guys can do with money is the key to their appeal. Gals dun dig money, but they appreciate the THINGS that can be done with money. Logically speaking, its always better to be in possession of a guy with truckloads of cash then a guy with a truckload of trash.

Class S:
Class S. The godlike class. The guys that exist in this category are the perfect creation of god to bring about the downfall of womenfolk. God paid extra care and attention when forging these guys, purposefully sculpting a being of near celestial existence. The guys in here are smart, good looking with a beautiful body, coupled with a successful career with loads of money. Womenfolk usually address this type of male specimen as the 'perfect' man or 'dream guy'. This class takes up about 0.005% of the total male population in Singapore.

Class F:
Class F. All other failed male-kind are thrown into this rubbish dump. Guys that are dumb, fat, ugly, poor and jobless can be found here, the personification of trash. Gals that took their pick from this class are truly worth respecting, the courage involved and required is tremendous.



And so what class of guy do u belong to? If u are sub-standard, dun worry, because the world has something called hope. Human kind are born with a ability to transcend classes, especially guys. Climbing of the classes can be achieved after sufficient effort has been put in.

Example:
Jason is in Class F. Jason trains hard, studies hard. 2 yrs later, slimed down, looks good and fit, grad with a good grade. Escalates to Class B from Class F.

He finds a good job at a bank,works hard, after 2 yrs, takes home $8000 per mth, has investment portfolio of $200,000. Successfully converted to Class A.

At 28 years old, he quits his job, gathers his fortune and starts a business venture. Venture successful, 6 mths break-even, annual income after 2 yrs amounts to $ 2 million. Buys nice house and nice car, wears nice clothes at 30 yr old. Lets company runs on its own and continues to invest in and starts other businesses. His monies multiply exponentially, listed among Singapore's top entrepreneurs. Go Padang drink coffee and play golf with Lee. Continues training for fitness and plays the stock market to remain mentally charged. Jason has successfully ascended to Class S.


And so you see, noone will be poor and useless forever, its juz when the wake up call comes. But mind you, life as a guy is never as uneventful as the above, the story is just an example, it does not describes a certainty, but rather a possibility. For me, who happens to really belong to Class F, its a long way to Class S, but time is never a deterrent factor for me, i believe fate will not fail a person that keeps trying.


Jason's Simplicity : Chains of morality binds me to my innocence, that which i will never let go.