i finally realised y i cant go after her again liaoz... its because im fearful of being hurt again n i juz cannot take it when she goes on n on about her bfs n ex-bfs.... i realli cant listen to all tat simply because i still feel for her, at least i sorted tat out. I cant go on like tis with her, its juz too much in the long run lah, so i might as well cut off everything with my own hands lor... no doubt i still like her alot, but fate juz can let us b together, so i might as well b cruel to myself, its better then the prolonged pain.. i finally tot everthing thru liaoz, one thing is still hanging in the balance... do u tink i can go after her again? the possibility of us being juz frendz is non-existent, so please give me some clue as to wat to do k? Hopefully the one reading tis entry will give me some answers... thks... ^_^

i juz finished the book 'Da Vinci's Code'... its realli nice. ^_^ Christmas passed without much hassles n new yr's day is round the corner loh... so fast rite? times realli flies man... Another yr passes n 2005 here we come! Hehe... new yr resolution is simple... try to make $5000 bucks from business lah, so when i ord hor, got capital to start a small business lah... Hmm, i only have a rough idea of wat im realli going to do, though im veri determined to start no matter wat... i know ppl tink im naive to tink business is easy to start, but i have a passion for earning money mah, even if fail nvm lor, can try again one.... hhehe... *_* Dun know whether i can earn my first million by 25 yrs old anot leh... haiz... nvm ba, maybe 30 yrs old ba... :P Tis new yr im also tinking of changing my phone liaoz, maybe i buy sony-ericsson phone better, always nokia veri boring sia... hmm.... dun know wat model to buy leh... i also wanna buy some jeans n shirts too, levi's sounds good hor?? ^_^ i also need some nice sneakers too, my old ones going to 'ORD' liao ! Seriously hor, all tat realli costs a bomb hor? haiz... i tink minimum also need 500+ bucks... hopefully god of fortune smiles on me nxt yr, let me get ALOT of cash!! hehe... ^_^ ( haiz.. wat to do leh, greed is one of the seven deadly sins leh...)

Juz came back from marina south.. i went there for steamboat... hehe. damn oily place sia... tis few days i've been feeling quite lonely sia. Todae is christmas liaoz.... let me ask u something, if someone realli treats u as a frend, she will at least send u a merry christmas rite? i've been waiting for a gal to send me a msg to prove tat she's not using me.... i guess im wrong after all, she will only come looking for me when she gets into trouble or feel realli sad... im nothing to her at all. haiz... y leh? Am i realli tat gullible? Maybe so ba, after all i did, she's juz using me... hehe, i tink i've seen thru gals liaoz, im veri disappointed, y r they all like tat? i juz dun understand... i guess tis is wat they call 'Hei Se You Mo' ba... Tomolo im doing christmas duty, so i wont b around to celebrate christmas. initially i tot it was a bad thing, but now, come to tink of it, its actually a blessing. ^_^

Wah... so fast monday liaoz... time realli flies sia, new yr is juz round the corner... hehe.. veri soon it will b 2005... they always say new yr must make a wish, n do u know wat i realli want? Hehe... I dun tink will come true lah, so nvm lah.. ^_^.. Now im veri bored n lifeless, simply because im veri broke now... money reali makes the world goes round.... Watever it is, im went singing yesterday, so im quite happy inside, though im now a poorer fellow... Later must book in liao lor... saturday got christmas duty somemore, im realli unlucky nowadays leh, wtf is the guy up in the skies doing ah? Hopefully he bless me with more money nxt yr sia. $_$

Hi, im here to update again loh!! Wahaha, nowadays veri rarely update liaoz, im kinda busy nowadays.. hmm...The wind seems to b blowing my way nowadays... or is it i have learned to c things in a entirely different light? hehe.. after coming back from wallaby, i came to realise the true meaning of quite a number of things... Things happen for a reason, n the reason will not b known till fate allows u to. Wat seems bad might not b so after all, n similarly, wat's good might not b so after all. ^_^ The journey of life is always a cycle, wat goes around WILL come around, though time is always an uncertainty in such events. If u tink i copy all these from some chimalogy book hor, then sorry lor, all these r from my heart. hehe *_*. I also learned tat sometimes, anger will blind logic which will lead to u doing something realli wrong. Always try to c things in other ppl's viewpoint too, im not a goody-two-shoes, but i have enough substance left in my brain to c tis point. hmm, Im also trying to b nice to other ppl liaoz, i was realli hostile last time, but its being good to ppl is better, i juz feel better smiling at ppl lah. ^_^. All in all, i guess wat im experiencing now is the term they call maturity, i realli tink n feel like a adult now. One thing has not changed though, my dreams n aspirations r still intact. I wanna start my own company at 25, earn my millions n retire at 35 so tat i can bring my wife to c the world. I love travelling, even more so if im travelling with the one n only. *_* I know it sounds crazy n far-fetched, maybe im childish, maybe im silly, but i can always fall back on my heart n tell myself tat i will make all these true. i once met a gal who shares these dreams with me, we used to tok all day about our dreams... but fate juz didnt allow us to b together... So, im now at the first step of my dream liaoz, once i ORD, i will forge a career n start raking in the cash to fulfill it. ^_^

WAhahah... finally, pay day came n i juz went to pay the stewpid bill liaoz.. hehe..good thing sia, finally back online liaoz... hmm, wat to say leh... Yesterday i went to the 5566 n cyndi wang's concert. i was sitting at the front row at the VIP seat too, once again i wanna thank jennifer for the fr33 tickets from her uncle!! ^_^ Nowadays hor,the young gals r realli crazy one sia, they were like shouting at the top of thier lungs juz behind me n i nearly went deaf...-_-"" But i do c lotsa babes there though, they were damn fine gals. Well,lets not tok about gals shall we? hehe. The concert wasnt realli impressive, i would much rather went to jay zhou's concert... im quite a big fan of tat guy, though i wont scream my head off when i c him.. (guys r usaully more composed in tis type of things...) Sianz sia, tomolo i will b missing again, im going for a field camp for 3 days, so though my net's back, i wont b online -_-. But guess wat, i finally picked myself up n went back to wat i realli love most---> boxing! hehe.. yeah, i know im fat n i dun look like it, but i realli love boxing. im also training again, which means i should b losing some weight soon enough (if nothing goes wrong lah..) Im not a violent man though, i always believe wat i practice is only for leisure, not to bully ppl lor... i've seen blade trinity n im veri veri impressed with hannibal king's bod! i wanna train so tat i will look like him...( try lah, i nvr say must mah... -_-) I tink tat's all im writing lah, i gonna go back bunk sleep liaoz, tomolo must wake up early somemore... ^_^.. nitez!!!

Haiz... nbz... my internet connection cut off tat's y nvr update for soooooo long... -_-"
anyway, life is more or less ok now lah... my brothers n sisters went to malaysia liaoz, n my mum's alone at home while im in camp. im not a realli filial kid but i still am worried bout her...hmm... last sat i went clubbing with the dudes n bitches, we didnt have a whole lot of fun but its still enjoyable lor... i remember we could'nt finish the martell, so we kinda distributed the remaining to our frendz nxt table. C, we r good guyz after all yeah? ^_^. When we finally finished with our 'charity' work, we still have a jar of vodka lime left. guess who swallowed the whole jar?? hehe.. But tat nite, i was quite sad realli... im trying to shun away n dun contact her tat much, while in my heart im still worried sick about her. i realli wanted call her, but i juz cant do it... the feeling realli sux, the whole nite i've been tinking of her...dun condemn me as a coward immediately, if u r in my shoes u will feel the hopelessness of tis whole thing. believe me, u seriously dun wanna go there. T_T . Deep inside me, i know n am veri certain i can give her happiness, but the gist of the problem is whether she WOULD give me a chance or not. Im not prepared to ask her a second time though, it juz isnt viable at tis stage.
Lets go on to another topic shall we? ^_^. the new year is round the corner, have u decided on a new yr resolution? My resolution is to go back to doing wat i realli like best. Boxing. hehe.. i dun seem like it but i love boxing... the sweat n the training involve is so interesting tat u nvr wanted to stop except for fear of dying from exaustion. every jab n straight u put out symbolises the will to continue the fight... the hook n uppercut epitomes the final cut to the ensuing battle. tat's wat i call classic. ^_^ . Its mostly for self defense though, i dun believe in hitting other people for the sake of hitting him.( except for cases where my frend is being bullied lah, im veri protective of those i call my true frendz... ^_^) I tink tis mth's mood outlook for me is blue n gloomy, unless someone comes along n proof otherwise...(u know who u r..^_^)