Interlude

Many wondered, where have i been? How come i've not updated my blog for so damn long? Its simple, i was typing a draft. A extremely long draft that till now i still haven finish typing. This entry is just to notify ppl tat im still alive and kicking.

Life wise everything as per normal. Im learning to cherish my frends more, i was realli happy when ah tan, nich and eugene came to crash IME class on thursday. I haven been so happy for quite awhile alreadi, though we did dumb things like acting like wrestlers outside NP stadium toilet etc...

I guess when people leave you, then u start to realised how they have slowly crept into your heart and ur life. Well, not exactly leave, but u tend to take them for granted when u see them everyday. The irony in life is people dun cherish what they have, until they lose it. When will we ever learn?

And this goes out to not onli the OG guys, but the OG gals as well. I know i dun realli tok to you gals much, but all of u are frends to me, i just tok to the guys more. hahah. =p... anyways i've decided to smile more, and try to be get back to normal. Veri soon the next time i see you peeps will be in formal wear, not in t-shirt jeans/pants anymore. So yeah. =)

And final note: Be happy, always.

Acid

yes im blogging in the wee hours of the morning, ur eyes aint bluffing u. I cant sleep, so i will ramble abit here before i go for a run.

I realli tried my best to bear with it. I realli realli tried. Im sorry if my expression shows it, but i realli tried my very best to bear with it. Its kinda awkward, the kind of feeling. I felt it before in the past, yes, but never so strong. Its like some kind of extremely acidic thingy burning inside your heart from the inside out, at least that's how i read it.

I know there's no need to feel this way, because i am in no position and have no reasons to burn like tat inside. The thing is i cannot control it, like i said, i leashed it, but even so its so hard to control the sourish acidic sensation. I went for a walk to try to walk the feeling off, thought about other dumb stuffs to divert the sensation, but its pointless. In the end im still lan lan, what can i do about it? Answer: Nothing.

Therefore, i apologize if some emotions leaked out, i didnt mean for it to come out that way. Sorry.

Skeptic

I have been tinking alot again these days, too much for my own good. Anyways things are now at a rock bottom, and alot of drastic changes took place.

Change number 1 is the need to find project mates, and im doing each project with a different group. Im quite adaptable if i may say so, but its still abit ... you know...

Change number 2 is a change of lifestyle, no more pool or town or going around with the guys after classes, simply because the guys are gone cept for nich who still crashes some lessons. So after skool i have to find something to do, rather then going home straight everyday. Study in library? Nah, maybe i go town alone to walk around or window shop, my frens aint free always like my lecture mates. haha.

Change number 3 is a change in mentality. Some things need remedying, and so when the time is right, remedy the things, rather then leaving it to rot and decay. I got to agree with people, im not myself, but the fact is i am slowly shifting to a more amiable and humble nature, contrarial to what i was. I had a long catching up session with alina yesterday at the expense of EG lesson (its so damn boring anyways.), and i feel happy for her with her gf. Finally she's comfortable and found somebody to make her happy. =)

Oh ya, im growing close to people that i never expected to grow close to in my uni life. I spoke alot to one of them and actually ate dinner with her below my house. Its funny how things bring people together, and its our problems that made us open up to each other. Before you peeps tink too much, we're just frens and she's attached, i have absolutely no interest in her at all for your info. I dun see myself falling for others in the near future anyways, so there.

Okies, back to topic, as i was saying, alot of things and mentalities shifted in me. For example, i used to shun a guy because i didnt realli approve of his flirtatious ways (lets call him KS), but this semester when i saw him, i felt pity for him. I guess how he conduct himself isnt for me to comment as well, and seeing his plight now, i realli felt sympathy for him. sigh, poor fellow.

And i kw people say bad stuffs about me, bad and mean stuffs. What i wanna say is simple, you cant please the world, so im going to heck those people (yes, i know what those people are FYI.). As a matter of fact, what can you do even if u confront them? Come on, these are things that cant be solved. Thinking back, im quite impervious to bad press, but there's one that struck me where it hurts worst. I shall not say where it hurts most, no, its not the dick.

And i've started toking about deep stuffs to ah wei again, and the things he said, although i dun realli agree and dun make sense at all, is still a relief to me. Im veri vexed these days especially since skool has started, moreover this being the final semester, further pressured me. All these things accumalate up and im feeling the weight of things.

If only there is one person that i can fully bare my soul to. These are the times where u want somebody there for you, so you can whine all you like and know that no matter what she will still be there for you. Im not a problematic emo kid lah, but i guess its normal to feel this way sometimes dont you peeps tink so?

Alrite, so as the story goes, jason's story is now moving onto uncharted territories, so wish me luck. I used to believe in miracles, but since no miracle happened to me, i am now skeptical. Extremely skeptical infact.

Title-less

Just came back from chalet in the noon, and as expected, bathed and instantly lie down flat on my bed. Chalet was fine, and thank god nothing went wrong. Did mostly bowling thruout the whole chalet, but the thought this is the last holidays and semester not just for uni, but for the rest of my life ( cause no more student life mah), makes me carry a tinge of sadness.

Im not emo lah, just abit sentimental. Alot of things happened in these 3 yrs, big and small, good and bad, im just glad i went thru all of them, yes, even the bad ones. In these 3 years, i learnt alot about life and things themselves, im now more 'carved and defined' as a person. I do not want to use the term 'matured', because maturity infact is not a self proclamation. I may be contradicting things mentioned in past entries, but it shows a change of mentality.

And so people of my OG, if you guys and gals around reading this, i wan say thank you to you people for making my uni life so interesting. Though im not realli a good or in anyway nice person, i appreciate you people accepting me for the brunt that i am. Yeah i know we're not like graduating tml, but to me, its seems like it because half the of converted to parttime, so wont be seeing them so often.

Sorting myself up these 3 years, i got a few things realli clear. My career outlook,my passion, my path in life, and most importantly my feelings. And then the age old sentence i always stick by: " Things happen for a reason, and all of the time, the reason always justifies.". I believe i am a true person, and i shall stay true no matter where i ascend to. *touches my heart*

Okays, on a lighter note, ah leong sent me a trance which he says is the top tune for 2008, Lost by sunlounger. I disliked trance in the past, preferring techno to trance, because i tot trance was sickeningly repetitive. Well, nvr would i imagine i would be listening to trance now, smacking myself square back in the face. hahahas. Lost was damn nice lah, it changed my mentality. =)

And now im currently listening to La Guitarra, another song in the top 20 tunes of 2008 list. Extremely nice instrumental tune, i believe its among the best instrumental tunes i've heard so far. Its now the music on my blog, go listen if you're interested, try to appreciate the middle part of the song, where a lone guitar starts strumming, its heavenly. heh.

Alrite, gotta go sleep, tml school starts and i have to wake up fucking early, like 7am? School's a bitch, but i still have to go right? ya. rite. Nitez.