Insensitivity

Juz reached home from NTU. lolx... ytd went out with kenneth, haojun, clarence and adeline. Went to eat at swensens, after that adeline left us to join her fren. Then soon after, haojun left us too cause he's going home early to pack. Next thing i kw, the remaining 3 of us went to partyworld to sing. wootz.

kenneth is having his own troubles these days, hahass, didnt catch up with him too long and i turn out to be the onli one among them not knowing about wat happened. I guess i spent too much time with my new frens from SIM and sort of forgot about them. hmms, wrong move it seems, cause they do have alot of feedbacks for me too. After KTV, we went to clarence's hostel at NTU to tok cock and by the time we wanna leave, its around 3am le. So might as well sleep in his hostel lors, since his roommate is not coming back. hmms, well, during the tok cock session, they told me something i didnt kw, and im realli glad i went to catch up with them.

Before i left starhub, i sent a onyx msg to the whole starhub customer service. And in that msg, i wrote alot of silly stuffs that are totally redundant. I wanna say sorri to her, simply because i told her a 'sa lang hae yo' at the end of the msg. After i left, everybody was asking her izzit her and stuffs, and she commented if i actually put her name inside, she will instantly quit. Gosh, im so insensitive, seriously, what i tot was romantic and some fucktart stuff actually caused her so much grief. And throughout the whole starhub journey, i did alot for her yes, but i had a motive also. i want her to be mine. that is so absurd and childish. I might not understand her well, but how come i dun even understand myself? now its been around 3 mths since i left starhub, looking back from a neutral perspective, i realised i totally understood how come she didnt accept me at all. Its not the thing i do, she's touched yes, but it juz ends there, how can u be with someone who is so insensitive and didnt realli communicate well?

Clarence and kenneth then proceeded to start a lecture session for me on ethics. I am totally fucked up they say. lolx, and best thing is i agree! Why fucked up u say? they say i like to put my eggs in alot of baskets, meaning the same thing so many ppl told me, im too fickle. I turbo like so many gals, and in the end i sucked. They were quite surprised(i tink) that i dun wanna get a gf now, cause they grew so accustommed to me blabbering about gals. hahahasss. So all in all, insensitivity is one of the many factors that screwed me up.

I agree when i say what's done cannot be undone, no use crying over spilt milk. Yet i just cannot diminish that sense of guilt for her, because of my insensitivity, i made her life miserable in starhub. Hmms, even ytd going out to eat, she also didnt tok much to me, i guess the trauma was too great? hahasss... nvms, i want her as a fren, so will do things to salvage the frenship. What i destroyed with my own hands shall be rebuilt with my own hands.

kks, enough about her, lets tok about kenneth and the other fucktarts ya? lolx. Clarence the dumbfuck is still the same, turbo crapping and super guai lan. lolx.. and he wanted revenge for the 'cartoon t-shirts' comment on my farewell msg. As for kenneth, he wanted revenge because i mentioned he owed me $5 in my farewell msg! LOLX... he says the whole starhub knows he owe me $5. -.-"" As for haojun, he's flying off on the 29th this mth. haiz, he's a smart kid ya? so he have a scholarship to study chemistry at UK's Imperial College, he's sort of invited somemore lors.. lolx... smart ppl... hmms...I kw i can never be that smart lah, but i dun fuck care, my motive is to be rich, not smart.

I am not a goalless guy, i have ambition, i have plans and i have a goal im working towards. I told someone that i will score high distinction throughout my course and get a degree with High Distinction. I intend to keep that in mind, cause whatever i told her must be fulfilled. She might have forgotten it, but still, once i told her, means i must do it. I meant all in all, my grandma is sponsoring my degree leh, although she's rich, i cannot bear to waste her money. Over my dead body. i rather let car bang and turbo run over me then get a mediocre degree and waste the hopes she placed on me. i want high distinction, that is short-term goal. not as in goalkick or soccer, its GOAL. There's no escape. Fuck u HD degree, im coming to get u.

Jason's Famous Quotes: People who read blog and dun tag, most prob squats and shit over a toilet bowl. (dun understand? do u squat over toilet bowls? LOLX)

Peace

Went skool. stats. confused. break. stats. further confusion. dinner at megabites. bus 154. home.

there, it sums up my day. lolx. boring rite? nb one, nowadays super no life like tat. hahass.. but im looking forward to tomolo, cause will be meeting the guys from starhub for dinner. wootz. Initially i tot its an all guys outing, but kenneth suddenly told me adeline is going also. lolx... surprise surprise, but thing is, my heart is cleared le. hmph, wonder how is it going to be tml, treating her as a normal fren. hahass.. well, tat's for tml ba, no point tinking too much though.

Anyways, im super looking forward to see the guy. realli. its been ages le, hahass, the times we spent eating lunch at JVC realli brings back memories. wootz, and then while eating, i will tok about adeline, kenneth toks about yinghwee, llyod toks about her gf. lolx. super funny lors, and they will analyse each other's cases then come to conclusion, tat is wat i call guy's tok. ^_^

Well, enough reminising about those days, tml will see them and possibly go sing ktv. hahass.. yupz, KTV!!! muahaha... tml shall try guang liang's 'ru guo ni hai ai wo' , been listening to tis song for the past few days, its realli nice and emotional. wee you wee. And one more thing, although ppl say i should cut short hair and spike it up, i dun wanna do that. lolx.. i want long hair, like those idol drama actors de. lolx... i kw i dun have the looks, but i dun care, die also need to try once mah. Skooling days are the best time to try out different styles wootz.. ^_^

Alrite, now on a more solemn note.... due to OB, my hit rate dropped... T_T.... its onli 8 hits per sec now.... gosh... there goes my 11 hits per hr... fuck one lor, i trained 2 mths for tat lah, now it dropped back to 8 hits le... zzzz.... sianz, sometimes realli no time to train sia.... plus, i need to find a job soon, the bills are stacking up and im realli worried. no net no phone i will die. its tat simple. I need to find a job. a job. a fucking job. anyone needs promoters? lolx...

My heart feels so peaceful nowadays. hahass.. i guess finally dropping whatever has been bugging me these yrs actually gave me some breathing space finally. The world seems more... open shall i say and certainly im looking further over the horizon. No more jealousies, no more worries on whether i will get the gal i want anot, no more sleepless nites when they get attached, no more trying to get into their good books and the list goes on and on. But there's some stuffs tat i missed though, lolx... when i listen to sad songs nowadays, i dun have a target. -.-"" LOLX...


Jason's Famous Quotes: True Peace Comes From Within You. (太平心境 ， 透彻玉镜)

OBtified

This 2 weeks, OB is my life. I live, eat, shit OB. In case u dun kw, OB means Organisational Behavior. That my frens, is a module in my course. I have been going to Bugis NLB for dun kw how many times le. The feeling initially was totally fucked up, no time of my own during the noons lor, no boxing (tis is the most fucked up part...), no swimming and tanning, no life....

But still, i realised i've seeing alina elissa and nicholas almost every day lor. lolx... thing is i've grown closer to them, they are realli good frens. hahahass.. though during the project, we've seen the ugly side of each other....PUNCTUALITY...
They are fun to be with, and when stressed and tired till the extreme, will do urms... abnormal stuffs... lets list them out shall we???


Operation OB-fication

Operative Name: Nicholas Tong aka Ni Ke La Si
Role: IT Specialist
Abilities:
Spasticasiam ( Can stretch out both hands and shake uncontrollably with eyes rolled up. Ultimate Finisher)
Torso Dancer ( During periods of extreme stress, will listen to retro music and move upper torso retardedly)


Operative Name: Alina Teo aka Banana
Role: Insomnia Zombie
Abilities:
Zombification ( Ability to stone and display zombie-spasticated motion. Highly Contagious)
Illogical Mentality ( Ability to imagine and contort innocent display by mankind)


Operative Name: Elissa Ng aka KuKubird
Role: Sleepyhead / Dumbetinator
Abilities:
Blurtification ( Ability to blurrify any normal circumstances and cause confusion among teammates)
Influenza ( Ability to influence everybody to focus on food instead of task. Extremely Deadly)



LOLX, gosh, how to fail when u have teammates with the above profile? They are the best of the best. hahahass.... but seriously, its been fun having them around, each of them actually demonstrates entertainment qualities. hahass.... and best of all, they all LOVE good food. wootz!
If not for them, i would have threw my OB project away then go one side let wind blow. hahass
kks, now before i go, i shall paste some a picture i took at NLB.

TOTO --- US一体形小便器

Okay, i took tis picture beside the male toilet urinal, i find it super funny. lolx... its states

LOLX? WTF? 小便器?? hahass... literally it means 'machine aiding with urination! WAT THE FUCK? LOLX.....

Jason's Famous Quotes: To live life anew is like being reborn. What is the past, needs to stay in the past.

My First Composition

Todae went to do project until c buay late. so preoccupied with assignments these days, they nvr seem to end. And i got a Distinction for my Stats test, lolx. It the first time i got distinction in dun kw how many yrs alreadi. But thing is, the best is High Distinction, so i still didnt make it.

I realised army do change ppl's mentality. Studies matters, now i kw, i never studied much during all my previous yrs. I just scraped thru my modules and though i never repeated, grades wasnt that impressive. hahass... thing is this, i realli realised juggling studies and play need some skills, and im doing it nicely now, though i still appear damn slack. There's this thing in me telling me to get good grades, and the fact that im paying $5000 a semester totally motivated me to get something out of this. And if u're tinking im too preoccupied with gals to concentrate on my studies, then u're wrong, love is love, studies is studies, they are completely different things.

Anyways i wrote my first song, although there's no melody and tune yet, i did the lyrics le. ^_^
Its about some dude that regrets going into a relationship with some gal and in the end when they broke up, tat dumb fuck got so confused cause he dun kw whether he likes her anot. lolx. But the rest u all intepret urselves ba, i also havent realli refined everything yet, but ya, the lyrics do narrate a story. heehee.


淡淡的优伤带，
着咸咸的泪水，
缓慢的滑过双颊，
眼泪，不是因为你的离去，
而是为了我的无能，我的懦弱。

你要的，我永远无法做到，
无力的我，没有面对自己的勇气，
这是否是命运对我的惩罚，
还是我对自己的钾锁？

成经给你的一切诚诺，
对你说的甜言密语，
连我本身都心存怀疑，
宁视着你远去的背影，
我的心开始寻找伤悲。

一种不能表达的平静，
像黄昏的缅腆缓缓落下，
内疚，是什么情绪？
后悔，是什么感觉？

爱情又是什么呢？
你我之间的是爱吗？
难道简单纯普的爱，
是我们到不了的天堂？

wootz, there, my new song.. hahas... havent tot of a title yet.. hmms.... any suggestions?
hahass... anyways its suppose to be quite sad yet also portray how basket the guy is. Like daniel chan's 'feng yi yang de nan zi' tat kinda feeling. hmms.... well well well, i tink tis concludes another day in my life. wonder how many more yrs can i live? *thoughts running wild*

Jason's Famous Quotes: The root of all problems is you, youself and thy.

Brutality And Honesty

hahahahaha.... hahahaha.... hahahahaha.... im laughing and im smiling. wanna kw what am i laughing at? Im laughing at my stupidity, dumbness and self-deceiving methodology. Well well well, everything started when i was 13, sec 1, and i didnt kw until i saw her again after so many yrs. She determined wat is my 'type' and the blueprint for my idiotic fantasies. In the foodcourt, when i saw her again after so many yrs, things start to flash through mind. And then i saw how stupid i was, blabbering on about gals gals and more gals. childish, dumb and irrelevant...

Simply put, i have too many gals in my life that i was preoccupied with. I fall easily, not as in fall down, but fall for ppl. Its sickening thinking about it, goes to show how fickle i am. Sad to say i was like that for the past 6 yrs, immediately after sec 4, when i went into poly, my mentality changed. Im honest and going to write everything here, i dun care who reads this anymore, i need to be honest and stop kidding myself. And if u happen to be one of the ppl mentioned in the list, im sorry for being so blunt and honest, but still, i need to jote all these down. ( and if i can remember vividly...)

Primary 4 : Meifang , Qiuyen
Primary 5 : Peifen
Primary 6: Peifen
Sec 1 & 2: Huimin, Peifen
Sec 3 & 4: Huimin, Peifen, Meiyun, Danlin
Poly Yr 1: Trillia, Rachel and 5 others
Poly Yr 2: Jiayan, Trillia and 16 others
Poly Yr 3: Corinne. Onli her. Realli.
Ns Yr 1: Corinne. My Everything.
Ns Yr 2: Corinne. Memories.
Starhub: Adeline, Peifen, Gladys, Linda, Yiansin

Im honest, brutally honest. Call me watever u wanna call me, i at least have the courage to show what i am. And when i saw 'her', im stunned. My good frens are telling me to dun tink about the past so much, but these are memories, i cant just delete them.

Regarding myself, im fucked up just like other guys, i go for looks first. All the above listed are pretty and cute in their own ways. I liked every single one of them, but in the end, im still single all the way simply because of my lousy attitude when handling stuffs.

Huimin retained alot of what made her so attractive through the yrs. Her elegance took me aback and i realised i stereotype the ppl i like after her. As long as the person have some semblance to her in any sense, i will like. That's why things turned out the way it is todae. The issue never realli left me, it manifested sub-conciously and wat i did was simply find a trace of her in other ppl. But thing is, i dun take substitutes, i do like people for who they realli are. Huimin is the one gal that i seriously liked all the way for 4 yrs. And peifen is the on-off one,we went out , but when finally she was ready, i was obsessed with corinne. Similarly, same thing happened with jiayan, we actually went out , but then i was occupied with corinne and i did it again.

Anyways huimin is with him for 6 yrs plus le, he is a wushu gold medalist, rich man son, polite and average looking guy, super good boyfrend who brings her around the world. Didnt realised my mistake in the past actually resulted in her finding true happiness. Sometimes fate is funny. realli.

And for trillia, its even better, she became a model and now has a good-looking, rich and good boyfrend.

Same thing goes for peifen, she settled down with a nice guy, although abit plump, yet he loves her alot. And u're right, again i made a mistake that lead to her accepting him and living happily ever after.

I guess the conclusion is, im totally fucked up, and its their luck that they didnt choose me. I might not be able to give them what the other guys are giving them, and i realli woke up to that point. The point that im a total fucker.

Im not self-condemning or low esteem or whatever terms u wanna call me. Maybe i should just shut the fuck up and go stand one side. I dun deserve anybody, and nobody deserves to be attached to such a fucked up person. I know, sounds hush but i realli tink its true, why drag ppl down? They have happiness waiting for them out there, why be an obstacle in their quest for happiness? The 2 gals that condemned me, u people are smart. I totally agree with both of u condemning me. I know.

I need to do my project now, irresponsibility will not be in my list of flaws. And to the one that commented im fucked up. I am fucked up. you're right. im a big fat fucking brainless fucktart that lusts for swan meat. Im just a short and fat piece of shit that exists in this world wasting oxygen and food that could be put to better use feeding pigs. Hope that makes u happi. And before i forget, im childish too. ^_^

Jason's Famous Quotes: Fucked up means fucked up, hiding will onli increase the fucked up index.

EMPTINESS

This few days, i've been loading tis blogger screen and then dun kw wat to blog. its been ongoing for a few days alreadi, and todae, i blogged.

A couple of things happened to me and i was tinking thru them tis few days too. Im not unhappy, im just hmms... concerned u might say. Yesterday was quite uneventful, i simply went back to skool and as usual, i was late for OB lessons..-.-"" Then after that went for lunch with reilly and xuanhe. Rei and i were discussing over lunch tat our OG is splitting le, and we both agree on that. its obvious, everyone is going their own ways after lessons, even sitting also got some distance. I guess things dont last, and each and everyone have their own new frens and stuff ba. I sort of wanna voice tis out to the ppl, i realised most of them kw all tis is happening, yet dun realli see the need to revert back to how we were b4....

Anyways, after lunch is accts, and as usual balwant was a veri engaging lecturer, and puts forth the topic veri clearly. I respect people tat can give good lectures. And during the lesson, my eyes keep looking at someone, i just cannot control them. lolx.. gosh, im not gonna say who im looking at, but rest assured its a gal. Anyways looking is free mah, i kw she's not gonna be mine anyways, unless pigs can fly. hahassss..

After skool, sat down and chatted with nich and elaine and jeanette. Toked about some dumb stuffs and sort of nua around outside the lecture hall. After that i reached home and bathed, then went down to eat dinner with aiying. After sending her home, i gamed till 5am then sleep. that ends my day yesterday. hahass.. boring....

Alrite, now lets carry on to my thoughts. Alina is having a veri difficult rite now and life is realli harsh on her. hmms... but i kw she can tide thru this whole thing de, she's a strong gal mah. cfm can de. hahass... I can sense sadness in people, and that is what troubles me alot... i can sense nich also have something he is hiding, some sad stuffs but i feel he wanna keep it secret.

So, regarding the one tat condemned me, i still tink she is condemning me leh. Dun kw y, i simply feel tat way, maybe she didnt speak much to me? hmms, thing is this, why am i so concerned about whether she condemn me anot? lolx... gosh, sometimes life is intriguing rite? But i kw, if she's reading tis, she will feel im damn er xin and disgusting. hahahass... The thing about me is that im unsettled, its always the case. Well, who will be the one? dun kw, but i kw im super attracted to her, i hope she stops condemning me soon and at least try to be better frens ba.

Nxt week will try to ask strawberry-soursop out for lunch at NUS ba. She told me she's quite free nxt week, so maybe can catch up abit with her and see how's life going. Its alreadi been around 3 mths le, so maybe when we see each other, things will be fresher? And it will be the first time i spoke to her verbally after i gave her 'it'. I guess she forgot all about 'it' le ba, the magic 'it' brought...

My heart has castle, and in the castle lived a few residents, and i dun kw which one is the queen that will rule the castle. Its obvious, and the thing is, there's onli a few residents that realli touched me. Im brutally honest now, onli 4 of them realli made me took a long and understanding look into their eyes. So many unspoken emotions were passed thru the eyes, and yet i was not fated to be the one to take care of them. Well, a tinge of regret is always there, but i kw, the future awaits me. And like what xuanhe told me on the MRT 2 mths ago, 'dun look for it, they will come for u.'....

Jason's Famous Quotes: Todae no quotes, so i give u the 10 commandants of Jasoniology.

1) Thou shall not lust after thou's frend girlfrend. ( But she IS interesting... lolx)
2) Thou shall not use force. ( im a refined man..)
3) Thou shall not badmouth ppl or organisations. ( I failed tis one....)
4) Thou shall not fall in love with ur classmates. ( Its obvious...)
5) Thou shall not oogle at girls. ( Do it discreetly.)
6) Thou shall not eat too much. ( totally crap.)
7) Thou shall not give up on training. ( Shyt..)
8) Thou shall not be too sentimental. ( Seriously..)
9) Thou shall not be hypocritic. ( Finally one tat i passed!)
10) Thou shall not overcommunicate. ( erms...)

Super Duper Pissed...

**Caution: The below paragraph is super vulgar because im just being pissed.**

There are some organisations around me that totally pissed me off. From the start i dun fucking like the fucking organisation, cause i tink majority of them are all fucked up people. And when i say people, i meant the GUYS. And mind u, im not the onli one that thought tat way, alot of my frens also told me the same fuck thing. The organisation is onli a facade for those fuckers to hide behind and plan their lewd acts. They tink noone kws and even IF someone knew, they dun fucking care. Each of their god-damn faces show what is going on behind those retarded brain-fucks. Wanna kw what they tink? simple, the organisation is their SCREW-TOPIA, short form for screwing-utopia. Im not being extreme, its been holed up in me for so many fucking mths alreadi. Bloody fuck-tarts, everytime i see those cb faces i realli wanna beat some sense into their retard brains. I totally tink they have no management ability and onli wanna work towards some they-dun-kw-that-ppl-kw motives. 3 of my frens applied for the job/position and didnt get in, simply because they were GUYS, they ONLI accept pretty GALS. Sincerely i hope each and every fucking one of them die from bird flu or some unknown disease or accident, and if its a car accident, i hope the car will reverse and run over their bodies over and over again till they STICK to the fucking tar on the road! DUN FUCK AROUND WITH MY FRENS U BASTARDS, BE READY TO FEEL THE WRATH WHEN U FUCKERS CROSS THE LINE. FUCK OFF U FUCKING CB BASTARDS!

*End of Vulgarities*

Arghs... god that felt so good, being able to vent my anger in my blog... woohoo, that's wat i call a blog. yeah. :) Okies, now that i've finished venting my anger, im normalised, but again i proclaim, im not a violent man. heehee.. :P

okies, todae rotted at home the whole day(seemingly) and i saw the sun rise and set. lolx. I've had 2 new frens from 2 days ago when i met them on the bus.. lolx.. they were living in my area lors, and i didnt notice them at all.. hahasss.. well, at least i have some frens living in the west tat i can study with le. wootz! I also downloaded some new songs and formatted my dear i-de-pod because something or some file screwed it up.. -.-"" I also have jay's new album le.. muahaha.... obviously its free lah, cause as usaul, he never fail to mail me a copy of his new album everytime. heehee. That's the perks u get when u write songs for him. :P (TUA KANG IN ACTION!)

Hmms, and i just perfected the ideaology of a perfect guy. muahaha.... A perfect guy not onli has to have physiological perfection, what matters most is the psychological development also. which means he must be as good mentally as he looks physically. So ya, will strive towards that goal and the 1st thing is to reduce childish outbursts like the above. LOLX.. okies, dun tok rot le, time to go play game. i kw friday is accts and i haven touch accts, but dun care le, cause i no mood now. Will be on high gear for studies tomolo! FUUUUUUUUU!!!!! (*Hardgay action*)


Jason's Famous Quotes: It onli takes a few pile of shit to screw up a whole reservoir of water.

SO SICK OF LOVE SONGS, SO TIRED OF TEARS

hmms, the above title is part of the lyrics of ne-yo's 'so sick'. its a super nice song, realli loves this type of rhythmic RnB. wootz, makes me groove... smooth and comforting.. lolx...
Todae was stats test, and life was abit awkward these 2 days, but alritey, i got thru it all, in the end, happiness is wat i want for her rite? so ya, screw it, as long as she's happi can le lah. My ultimate motive is for her to be happi mah, and i will simply shut the fark up and be her silent guardian can le lor. Seeing her smile always seems to bring the lights in the heavens into my world... and suddenly the world seems so bright and sunny.. hahass.. sound like some miracle rite? lolx.. :P

Training went to phrase 2 le, its time for the kicks. lolx.. from tml onwards, everyday need to stretch, so can do the horse split. wootz. then will proceed to those fanciful moves.. muahaha... kicks are so cool and awe-inspiring.. wee you wee... :P And it seems things in life have juz took a reality check. Everything seems so real and ceased to be a facade all of a sudden... hmms... is it her? or her? or her? or them? omg.... things always comes one full circle, and it seems time to reap wat i sowed over the yrs... lolx....but it all came together, and im drowning in it... gosh...

Hmms, there's now 1 thing i dun kw whether i should or should not do... What if we have no topic? what if... omg.... it will be so awkward lahs... god.... shall i? should i? would i? i feel so silly now, hahass... i dun have much topic with her leh... its sort of like a kiddy crush.. lolx.. but i dun kw whether she still condemns me anot... ?.?

Okies, enough about stupid crushes and stuffs, accts is on friday, and death is looming. Well well well, the latest anon tat tagged in my blog, i kw who u are lors... tink i dun kw.. dumb dumb. :P
told u im smart rite? hahasss....

Jason's Famous Quotes: Unified Avoidance Is Dumb And Childish.

Rewritten Feelings....

****************************
我那么爱她

歌手： 蓝新翔 专辑： 我的故事

直到爱消失我才懂得去珍惜

身边每个美好风景只是它早已离去

直到我想通她早已经不再对我留恋

最后的我开始了一段挣扎

我那么爱她为什么不把她留下

为什么不说心里话

我深爱她这是每个人都知道啊

我那么爱她为什么不把她留下

是不是我有深爱的两个她

所以我不想再让自己无法自拔。。。
*******************************
Todae rotted at home for the whole day tinking about some stuffs.i need to sort out my tots, and the worse thing is tests is juz nxt week... urghs... constitutes 30% to final results, so i realli need to get over all these things fast.

Life is realli quite fascinating, it juz have a tendency to twist a beautiful story with some grosteque end. And the same goes for a reverse situation. Hope, is a wonderful thing. When i was feeling hopeless yesterday nite, someone brought me hope.

But is that hope what i want? Am i over stupendous? I do tink im over indulgent in the emotion called love. I did an assessment of my mental state tis morning while i was training. I asked myself a few questions that i would normally avoid. Its about how i feel, i realised i didnt realli face tis few questions, i've onli been avoiding them or finding excuses to tell myself that i am right.

The above resulted in my actions not tallying with what i say ; totally contradictory. I say one thing, i do another, because i avoiding facing myself as a whole. Judgementally speaking, im afraid to kw the real me. Its like commiting the japanese act of belly-cutting, when u realli examine urself after cutting urself up psychologically.

And todae i did just that, which lead to me discovering another me. The dark and hideous me. Im not what i tot i am at all, im just a image of a few different entities which i tot was prim and proper. I was wrong, and i have found myself. From tis day onwards, i need to change my mental outlook and commit to a more sincere me. Sincerity not onli towards people, but most importantly myself....

JASON'S FAMOUS QUOTES: Self-discovery is a life long journey.

GAME OVER, I LOSE

Fook, lose le.. zzzz. sianz, lose again. nb one lors, sometimes fate and time juz like to play with me. Sua ba, yi qia sui feng. I dun tink she's single anymore lors, i tink i better sound her out lah, dun drag on then i also dun kw status at all.

Todae went out with corinne, as a fren tat is. i guess after all, we stay as good frens better lors, can tok about everything under the sun and she's attached to a old but good guy. Good guys hard to come by, and tis guy realli good to her, so im happi for her also. One more thing, she's super pretty now lors.. lolx... go everywhere with her those guys eyes also all on her one.. hahass... same like last time.. :P

We went to eat ajisen and then went to TCC to chat and catch up over coffee. i realised both our mentalities changed alot and we realli grew up. hahass... toking about future and pondering what's our nxt move in life...we felt so old lors... realli abit old le, alreadi 21 and 23 yrs old le....:P

After that her boyfrend came to fetch her and i went home le. on the mrt, its super squeezy lors, and there's this 3 gals tat were infront of me, we were packed like sardines, and this gal keep rubbing her butt again me lorss... kaoz.. and its the sensitive part somemore.. zzz.. i have to like put my hand infront to protect lor... zzz... ppl might think its song or watever lahs, but to me its sort of sickening, i dun kw her lah, she pretty so wat? pretty can rub rub? zzzz Heng they went off at raffles place sia, nb i give the dun-fark-with-me face all thru the journey, i dun touch ppl i dun like. simple short and sweet.

But well well well, worse is yet to come, at redhill, 2 BANGLAS choing in and squeeze with me... WAH LAN A, SMELLY LAH. fook lah, im not racist lors, but they didnt bath lahs, god bless my clothes.... watever lahs, im in a veri gd mood now lahs, so maybe im blogging abit impulsively. hahass... fitness is starting to pick up again, weights and boxing is all coming back to me baby... Now the final piece of the puzzle is running.. im always stuck with tis stewpid phrase lahs... sianz, need to push myself. heehee.. ^_^

(urgs.... my heart is bleeding as i blog here, a fren juz told me some bad news tat i have juz confirmed over the phone... gosh.... *leaking blood all over the place* )

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Jason's Famous Quotes: Having a Mobile always confers an advantage, and when i say Mobile, i dun mean a phone.