Yesterday was my birthday.. boring day sia.. i whole day do nothing n noone except my family celebrated it for me.. haiz... in the afternoon i buay tahan liaoz, so i alone go down to queensway shopping center to buy PS2 games lor... i bought god of war and digital devil saga... both are realli nice games... GOD OF WAR is AWESOME... lolz... alot of blood and gore, my type of game. :P A lonely, but indeed peaceful way to spend my birthday. I realised that i now have veri veri little female frendz le... not like last time in secondary school... i always go out with a BUNCH of gals after school ..lolz... Those were the days sia.. hmm... although i know time cant be rewinded, but if its possible i would realli do the things that i never did in the past so that i wont regret them now... There is a few things i realli realli regretted doing or not doing in the past... one of them was going after huimin... lolz.. she's my first love and i feel that she's the best among all the gals that i've liked before... There is juz this sincerity in her eyes that make guys wanna devote their future with her... she quite a number of suitors during those days sia.. haha.. but she's settled with jianda from sec 4 till now le... so long sia.. hahaha.. wonder how's she getting on these days leh? (?-?) Another regret is not taking up lessons in boxing.. -.-.. i have the interest and the passion, but it juz didnt occur to me that i should go find some place to learn it.. haiz.. I should also have taken up rugby during those sec skool years, then maybe i wont be a fat piece of lard now.. -.-""... hahaha.. watever it is, im still quite fine with wat i am and how i look now. Though im a bit heavy, i actually get a pass in the looks department. But in future, i dun want a pass le, once i come out of NS and start working, i want a A* for my looks! hehehe... ( okay, a fat A* guy lah.. -.-) LOlz.

Reflection Day. Today i suddenly had a urge to reflect on some issues which have no link to each other at all. -.-. firstly, i remembered last saturday when i went to collect my ipod shuffle, i went to citylink mall alone. In the mrt, i saw a pregnant women standing with a her son and noone wanted to give up their seats for her... im standing so i cant help, but i keep staring at those idiots sitting on the seats to see whether they will 'automatic' abit anot... well, noone gave up their seat until at one station then a women gave up her seat to the pregnant lady. Those people claim they are human, but what i see is something other then that. zzzz. Then now comes the 'project superstar' blind guy, i was realli damn touched by his determination to carry on despite his disabilities and truly, he is a hero. Today is the 17th of august, and its corinne's birthday. 2 weeks ago, i would have did anything for her just to see her smile. But fate has it that i have seen through alot of things in my journey to maturity. I feel im just doing something for nothing, its not like i expect any thing in return but its just... haiz... Believe it or not, i didnt even send her one happy birthday message or contacted her today at all. Im simply sick and tired of this whole thing and just want to give up on everything related to her. My heart is no more with her, i guess she's really happy now that i have truly given up. I have lost a part of myself in my pursuit for her heart, and that is my basic common senses. My heart is now open again, but trust me when i say it wont be easily taken again. Losing weight and self-improvement is the top priority in my life now, and in future after i ORD, i will forge a career that really belongs to me. Can gals be trusted? Are all gals out to take advantage of you if they know u like them? Questions, questions and more questions, these mostly can only be answered by the gals themselves... They claim not to make use of guys, but have they realli considered the possibility of them crossing the line without knowing it? Noone will 'self-dissect' themselves and say that they are wrong, they will find excuses to 'prove' whatever measures they take is the one and onli correct one. Humans are all in all a selfish species, how do i know? well, because im human too. ^_^

Darwin's elder sister is so damn pretty.. lolz... Today i went to darwin's 'army-farewell' party at his house. I also saw darwin's girlfrend there.... Lolz, darwin so fat and lame also can find a pretty girlfriend, i realli suck.. -_-... Anyways, darwin's sister was realli pretty sia, haha, but she's attached to a japanese guy le, they even bought a house le..zzz... But its realli kinda ironic that darwin have such a pretty sister and darwin looks like....um... :P. Enough about her le, today was quite a okay day lah, but i realised my family now is slowly rotting le.. My father is going bankrupt and doesnt wants to support my siblings le..zzz, then my mum also veri jialat, have to work as a factory worker to earn a pathetic $700++ nia. We are now at this pathetic stage simply because my stupid father's money is all cheated by his mistress... zzz.. I dun hate my dad lah, he's still my father after all, but i have no more respect for him le... Other ppl got mistress still will support family and kids one leh, but he cannot make it lah... So i guess i have to have a change of plans ba, i dun tink i will be continuing my studies after i ORD le, i tink i go work abit to support my family through this period first. My mum alone have brought us up till so big le, its time i return the favour le ba. Heng i ORDing soon sia, if this type of thing happens during my BMT then confirm jialat liaoz. I go out also dun know work as wat leh, got what job can earn about $2000 every month one ah? im not selling ANY BODY PARTS hor. hahahah..:P i tink need to go for commission-based job le, so i can turbo sell the product to turbo earn money. wootz.

Hmm, im back here again le.. it seems tis blog is somewhere i can hide away from reality. Life realli is tiring sometimes, and i realised people do change with age. My best frend ah-wei is one veri good example, maybe its ME tat changed... i dun realli know, but his ideals were initially same as mine when we were young... Our principles, our thinking was so alike, but now, it seems all these meant nothing to him. Sometimes i realli tink he's realli childish, but how can i tell him? He tinks he's right in everything, but most of the time its not, he's always finding excuses for his mistakes... Im always keeping quiet and dun realli wanna confront him, but it seems he's going down the wrong road. haiz... I guess change is directly proportional to time ba, i also cant escape the tides of change... What does future have in stall for me? i wonder will i realli be the man i wanna be? can my dreams be fulfilled? Uncertainties are part and parcel of life, and although i dun like them, life wouldnt be fun and meaningful if we knew wat would happen would it? ^_^. 90% of my dreams are all quite unattainable in a practical context, but that doesnt mean i wont TRY... Sometimes people will tink of me as being proud,'haolian' and naive, but my heart tells me i CAN and WILL succeed. Anyways, i juz bought a ipod shuffle today...hahaha... but the guy tat sold it to me hor, realli damn funny sia.... he so quiet one, how to do business? hmm.... but he's okay lah, at least dun have the cock face. Looking back on my previous entries, i tink my blog is getting more and more philosephical ( i tink spell wrong le..:P) le... Finally for a end note before i go gaming again, advice of the day----> DRINK MORE WATER! :P

Reality. I always tot i knew wat it was until someone 'showed' me reality. What will be will be, no matter how hard you try, you juz cant get it. Career is what is important to a guy, and i guess im going in that direction le. Memories are there for us to reminises, not for us to live in them. What is past is past, nothing could turn back time... not even the most powerful man in the world could regain lost time. Right now the time lost when im typing all these is gone forever... and when i tink of this fact, im abit fearful of wat time have in stall for me... No more will love be number 1 in my list.... money and power should be wat a man realli needs....

Oh how have i grown and matured... i did something so brave and forthright yesterday. I finally sorted out our relationship logically and maturely. We will be frendz and there will be no love involved anymore ba, i wont put in any feelings from now on. hehehe. Hmm, im quite surprised i took it so easily man... im not sad or whatsoever leh, juz glad that finally our story came to an end... its dragging too long anyway and i lost enough sleep over her le. Im free now and now, the hunt is on! muahahah... :P