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The warmth of the morning sun. The smell of the falling dews. The thumb of a yearning heart. Mellowed.

Yesterday nite i had a veri veri strange dream, it involves SWAT teams, KFC 2 piece meal and her. I know, no link at all, but its a dream mah, and i rarely dream. Ah well, crazy me and crazy dreams. Its so strange im not supposed to write it down here. Makes for a good topic to tok rot and laugh at me though. lolx.

Todae i finally packed my room, and i cleared out the bench that was gathering lots of clothes. So now everything is in lined for me to pick up my gloves again. Hurhur, i do hope i will be successful this time, means alot to me you know?

For those ppl that studies engineering, you most prob will be familiar with the Fleming's Left-Hand Rule. Its a Rule that denotes the direction of electro-magnetism ( if i nvr remember wrongly). And then now i come up with the Jason's Left-Hand Rule. Hurhurs, wana know the theory behind this, ask me! :)

Im going to study later at around 2am, i need to get started, because i;ve slacked for 2 days alreadi and my OT exams is on saturday. No sense of urgency at all. Kaoz. Im too complacent man.

Been watching lots of yakuza stuffs these days, and its having a bad influence on me. hahaha. Tomolo is the start of Project One Pound, wish me luck! And before i forget, yesterday i came across this pdf file that explains how to win at roulette. Yes, u heard rite, winning at a casino roulette. I tried it, and indeed it works. Its all pure maths realli, no gimmicks and no cheating. But its just for entertainment, im not going to be a gambling addict.

Alrite, my frend is now into fierce gals like me. Hahahass, he watched PUZZLE, a japanese drama with a female main character that is fiesty and sassy. Fierce gals are hard to find these days, much less a pretty and fierce one. I know, people might say its mad and crazy, but im not realli that normal to begin with. :)

Jason's: Study Study Study. I wonder why is mugging called mugging? hmms.

Siphoned

Good day todae. Lots of stuffs to be happy about. Investment paper is over, played mahjong todae (though i lost) and ya, im happy lah. :)

Simple things in life can make u happy, simple people in life can make u happy as well. I will work hard to lose weight during the holidays. I kw, i say this thousands of times, but its for a different purpose this time.

Okies, and now to tell you people a fact. I prefer chinese gals. Yes, authentic bilingual speaking chinese singaporeans. Not those cheena ones. I know there are lots of wonderful malay gals out there with the package, but im not realli interested. I love pork. Period.

Todae i finally went into exams mood le, i know it sounds silly, but todae i finally feel like im having exams. By a stroke of luck, todae's paper wasnt that difficult, at least can get a pass i presume.

I know my singing is not wonderful, and there is alot of room for improvement. Im never big-headed and think that im some kinda singing prodigy. Im juz a guy who likes to sing, and whose sole wish is to sing for my gal, not to get my minute worth of fame. Music is what i call the language of the soul. They say its the universal language, i say its the language of the human soul.

Toking about songs, im listening to some retro Jeff Chang's songs rite nw, and there's this song that i wanna share with u people, its called Nan Yi Kang Ju Ni Rong Yan, literally meaning " Hard to resist your face". I know it sounds stupid in english, but in chinese its quite meaningful. lolx. Anyways, here's the lyrics!

难以抗拒你容颜

你仿佛从没见过我只是让我梦成空
伤心不语退缩
幻想也许是你假装不看我
让我得不到更珍惜所有
我试着对你微微笑你总视而不见
何必何必何必
却又难以抗拒难以放弃
就算你对我说别再烦我

你难以靠近难以不再想念
我难以抗拒你容颜
把心画在写给你的信中
希望偶而能够见到你微笑的容颜
你难以靠近难以不再想念
我难以抗拒你容颜
把心画在写给你的信中
希望明天能够见到你会心的容颜

Alrite, shall end here tonite. Damn freaking tired after todae's paper and losing $19 bucks in mahjong. I almost ALWAYS lose when im playing mahjong in my house, i dun fucking kw why. F. I always lose when i wanna win, and i win when for that one time i wanna lose. Ironic isnt it.

Jason's : How strong is your faith, how firm is your love?

The Northern Route

My cough has been ongoing for a few days alreadi, its damn irritating man, i cant even go running or swimming, keep coughing like a dog. Fuck. I hate the unhealthy feeling, when u kw its been a few days since u last exercised. ARgh, hopefully tml can get better, then i go gym. :)

I have some very diverse frends, like i said in some veri old entry. And some of them, makes u so amused and astonished. hahahass. Legendary frends. lolx.

Is ego so important? I guess so, because i know alot of egoistic people, especially guys. Their ego is so big that its frightening. They cannot lose at all, no matter how small the issue. Gosh. And they insist that they are always rite, and never wrong. It takes alot of courage to saw you are always rite, rite?

Anyways i had a ego and is damn haolian when i was younger, but i slowly toned down alreadi, if u knew me in the past, compared to me now, u will realised what i meant. I used to shout across the lanshop to greet their parents and ancestors when i was younger and gaming in lan shops. Kinda childish then, but i grew up, and realized its not rite to implicate people's ancestors. :P

Some people have a side that isnt always shown to others. A cute and adorable side. Im definitely in fully, heart and soul. Believe me when i say i will always be there for you when u need me.

Jason's : Swimming in financial numbers and figures...

Desirable

What kind of guy am i. Besides being fat and all that lah. Im actually call myself a hybrid when it comes to mental culture, why? Because contrary to popular believe, im actually quite good at chinese and oriental culture, especially the history of Romance of Three kingdoms period. Living in a english educated country, i naturally developed a good sense for the language as well, and though im not veri proficient in ang moh, i at least can understand chim stuffs lah. :)

And they say cultural and artsy people are weak in sciences. Wrong. My sciences were quite good infact, and the during secondary school, i actually wanted to be a quantum physicist. Yes, u heard rite, a quantum physicist. Im more the intellectual type during my younger days, and sad to say, i gave up my passion for money. I would rather work in the economic sector and earn big bucks, then be a physicist that is onli famous when u die. My wife and parents and kids cant possibly live on uranium particles and space rocks rite? Right.

All the drastic changes in routes i took made me into somebody that have interests in almost all aspects of humanity. I can appreciate art and music (even abstract art and classical music), understand rocket science, stock markets, psychology etc. But there is one area i kinda lack development in. Sports. No wonder im fat. hahaass

The only sports i joined in secondary skool was rugby, and due to some reasons, i quit to preserve a frenship. Then i went to join chinese orchestra. Yes, i can play the flute(Di Zi) and appreciate traditional chinese music as well. Wanted to join band, but last min went to play soccer with the guys and didnt go. hahahs :p

Then in poly, i joined dragonboat, and its realli fucking shag, so shag that i failed all my exams and my lecturer told me to quit and go for personal tuition and counselling. Hahahass. But its unforgettable, that experience of nearly fainting after running, yet the stubborn me stood up all the way though im staggering around. From that experience, i understood how strong mentally i can be when the need is there. And in army, that strength went full bloom and i can take shit alot of people cannot take. How? Just do lor.

And that's why i dare to attempt the impossible. Hiong lor, scared wat? But then again, must hiong with brains, always consider the consequences. Bottomline is, its okay to take risks, but take calculated risks. ^_-

My vision of relationships have opened up wider this time. The wider u open ur heart and perspective, the stronger u become emotionally. When u feel that this gal is the one and she's not viewing u in a veri good light, take a good look around you. Understand that the world still rotate on its own axis no matter u get her anot. Yes i like her alot, and yes i tell the guys how good and wonderful she is, but deep within me, im mature enough to know that the chances aint high, and to put it in a more dark way, i've alreadi done the preparations for the worse. Ah well, just leave thing to fate ba, im sounding abit crazy by saying this, but ya, i believe in her alot. Her as in her, and fate as well.

I have no sense of urgency. I dun kw why leh. Exams coming, and yet todae i slacked. Was a hot day todae, sibei hot, hot until i keep sweating. Sticky sticky sweaty sweaty. eeeyer. Oh ya, a random issue to tell u people, i LOVE drinking chinese tea. And in case u are wondering, i am preparing to buy those chinese porcelain mini teapots and cups, and most prob gonna learn CHA DAO, the Way Of the Tea. hurhurs.

Before i go, did i tell you people how sweet my younger brother and his gf is? Hahass, i was secretly reading both their blogs and i can help but chuckle at their pure and simple love. It seems my little brother and his gf does dumb stuffs like skipping buses at busstops just to spend more time with each other etc. hahahass, how i wish that i can do that kind of simple yet silly things with a special somebody. sigh, there we go again, facing the fact that i dun have a gf all this time. Wanna go stupid things also hard. hahahass! Oh well, no rush, one day somebody will let me have the chance to show her my world. :)

Lots more to say, but time is not kind. I gonna go teh (hokkien for lie down) le, so cya nxt entry!

Jason's : You will get diabetes if you're my gal. hahahass! joking*

I scared but i care

I scared. The phrase that xh used when he ran away during a game of dota. The phrase that also describes how i feel when i wanna text somebody. What am i afraid of? alot. Because i tend to be veri imaginative and will start to tink alot. True, im just a little boy deep inside after all.

Fate is what u make of it. Coincidence is fate if u like somebody, and they can simply stay as coincidences if u are neutral towards that person. Alot of things and events in life is just a matter of perspective. Theories are always easier to preach then practice.

Alot of events and people that u come across throughout your life time simply stays as memories. And there's alot of secrets and sides of people that u have never seen even though u might have known them for sometime. I know this entry sounds abit vague and no link, but its just some random thoughts. :)

Lets tok about an interesting theory and perspective of people. I like the idea that everybody has their own internal gospel that dictates their emotions. Page after page, that person's emotional undertakings and routine can be read. And as the music plays, the heart strings shifts. Bit by bit, inch by inch. And the name of that darling starts to fill the pages of the scripture.

The Jasonian Gospel is pure and undefiled. Nobody has ever written their name in the gospel, sadly or gladly. Yet a gospel cannot go unwritten, someday, a name have to appear in it. Someday.

And somebody dented my ego yesterday. But too bad, i dun have much ego left anyways. A man must be humble and know his place in life, think too high, and ur fall will be far. Im quite surprised im tinking this way, in the past, never will i tink in this way. Ah well, enough illogical crap, before i go, i have a question to ask you people.

Will u prefer a person that comes to you as perfect and impeccable, or will u want a person that is imperfect and flawed?

Jason's : Ya, its true.

Zho Bo

Im blogging alot these days because i am damn bored. Obvious rite? Yeah, guess so too. Im bored to tears, games no longer make me happy these days man, i dun kw why, they seem to have lost the 'fun factor'. Gosh, am i getting old?

Went to skool to study alone todae, because my bench-study-mates didnt come to skool to study todae. The guys were at the library, but i dun like to study there, its too quiet and its kinda creepy. And so i studied alone at the level 3 bench todae. Sad and lonely. Hurhurs.

Funny thing is, though i have noone to tok to, i still feel the atmosphere is better then the library man. And i didnt people-watch as much, i did notice Siao CB though, he's patrolling the skool religiously every single fuck day, for whatever reasons i totally dun wanna understand. Crazy fellow, mad man.

And so tomolo i shall journey alone to skool to finish studying my investment. I at topic 5 with 5 more topics to go, and then i should be able to start doing the sample exam paper. With exactly 10 days left to the first paper (investment), i feel im still know nuts about this module. Wootz!

Disaster. The word to describe my financial condition now. I am broke as usual, and then the epic question comes again: why am i always broke? hahahass! Well, since im broke, i shall eat cheap ba. When u dun have the cash, u eat cheap stuffs, like the PM theory on Inferior Goods, u consume more Inferior Goods when you have not much money.

I aint beri picky when it comes to food, contrary to popular belief. Anything that can swallow and make me full is enough, and let me tell u people a secret that onli my family members know ba. I dun like to eat abalone. Yes, u heard rite, dun know why, i will feel like puking whenever i chew abalone.

August 24th. My birthday. Hasnt been a happy day for a few years alreadi, there's this void in me every year. Oh well, maybe its just meant to be that way. There's nothing u can do except to suck it up and continue living your life. Period.

Ah wei asked me to do something that i totally didnt expect at all. He told me that the Singapore Flyer is opened and is $35 per ride. He told me to bring her go take a ride. Wow. i nearli fell off my seat, because like i said, he is somebody that thinks these kinda of stuff is a waste of money. He's bringing his gf there too. Seriously WOW.

And i personally i tink, its realli a waste of money leh, $35 bucks for a round trip to see the scenery of singapore? No thanks. I rather spend the money in other ways. Its not that i am not a romantic person, but i am more a practical kinda romantic person, not those 'spend alot of money' kind of casanova. I prefer down-to-earth and practical methods. But it's realli a huge surprise that ah wei will spend this kinda money man, im starting to believe in miracles.

Toking about miracles, there are some issues happening this few months that i would deem as a miracle. Shall not tok about them because i tink people will simply laugh it off and think i am dumb or crazy or naive or watever. They say its all my imagination, but i beg to differ.

Jason's : Act, Think, Perceive.

Caution to the Winds

Never take things for granted, that is why i always try to cherish what i have. Especially the time spent, no matter its fruitful anot, i still cherish each and every moment that someone or something is by my side.

The people that u take for granted most of the time is your family, your parents and your siblings, but could u bear to live your life without them? Its hard to even imagine life without them, and that makes me wanna cherish them when i still have the chance.

Im not an ultra filial son,neither a super good brother, but i do make the occasional effort to be nice to my mum and siblings. As for my dad its hard to be nice to him, because we dun tok much, but i kw he does care. :)

The complete family that i have now doesnt come easily, because a few years back my dad was not around most of the time due to some veri dumb reasons. And seeing your siblings grow up one by one is one of most memorable things in life. Im the eldest, so i kinda see them grow up.

In the past i used to like holding my siblings hands when they are young and had small hands. They're so cute then, and everytime after skool, i will fetch them back from skool. hahahass, thinking bout them simply puts a smile to my face. hahaass

And my mum and dad, i remember how they looked when i was 6 yrs old. My dad used to sport VERY long hair and used to be veri yandao back in his younger days. And my mum is super your typical hot babe, living in hong kong (which used to be the hottest city during the 70s) for a few yrs before coming back to singapore. She used to tell me about the hordes of suitors she had back then, from rich arabian princes to dashing young actors. She even knew alot of hong kong actors. And i tot she was lying until she showed me the pictures they took together when they went out. hahahass!

Reminising all these memories makes me happy, and yet a tinge of sourness surfaces, because of all those happy moments and recollections, they were part and parcel of the past. What matters is the future, and my future equates their future. Whether i make it in life anot is not just for me alone, i need to make it for them as well.

I am confident enough to say, that i will make it in life, simply because i believe in myself and my abilities. Not that i wanna sound egoistic, but i think wat makes a man is his belief in his own abilities, and what he can do with his abilities.

All that, yet i know that in the pursuit of money, we tend to neglect loved ones. Dillian sent me a email which i actually read ( i dun usually read those chain mails), and its about this story of a fisherman and a banker. Long story, u wanna hear the whole story can ask me, i will gladly tell u.

The moral of that story is that life is a cycle, the reason why u want more money is to get happiness, and when we blindly pursue that, we lost sight of the happiness that we have now. And when we come full circle, we realised that the happiness we seek is alreadi with us rite now.

I dun know why i suddenly tok about such serious issues in this entry, i just feel like narrating how i feel. I might look non-chalent and happy-go-lucky on the surface, but my morals are as strong as steel. I firmly believe a man's duty in this world is to protect and provide. Protect your loved ones, and provide for your loved ones.

Before i go, a very meaningful song that i chanced upon when i was kinda down and out 2 years ago. And this song told me one important logic that i still bear in mind till this day. If somebody loves you, she loves you for who u are, the man that is standing infront of her with nothing to hide. And the only thing that you is important to her is your sincerity, not looks, not physique and definitely not money.

Darius Rucker - This Is My World

The look on your face
It could never explain your heart
And the touch of my lips
It could never tell u my thoughts

And U want me to change
I can't get used to
All U want me to be
I just can't pretend
To be anyone else
Cuz it's not really me

This is my world
This is who I am
And I'm not gonna give up myself
I got my own life to live
And U can either accept me
Or baby

And if it's love
That we share
Then we can withstand all
The obstacles that life brings forth
And I will receive you
For who U are who u were
And baby who U will be

But U want me to change
Girl I can't get used to
All U want me to be
And I just can't pretend
To be anyone else, oh
Cuz it's not really me

This is my world
This is who I am
And I'm not trying to give up myself
To make your life better, now

This is how it is
I got my own life to live
And U can either accept me
Or baby

This is my world
This is who i am
And I'm not trying to give up myself
To make your life better

She said
This is how
I got my own life to live
And U can either accept me
Or baby let me go

U said I promise you the stars
And I'm
Giving you all I can now
U said love is not enough
And I know
U will see
If your life turns around
In my heart there is room for u

It's me and my world
This is who i am
And I'm not trying to give up myself
To make your life better

She said
This is how
I got my life
And U can either accept me
Or baby

This is my world
Who I am
And I'm not trying to give up myself
To make your life better, now

Oh, this is how
And I got my life
And U can either accept me
Or baby let me go

This is my world
My world
Baby let me go

Oh, this is who I am
Where I live
Got my own life to give

Oh, oh oh
My world
I'm not trying to change u
This is who I am
Please let me be me, yeah

The song is not referring to anybody in particular, the song just reminded me of the past experiences. Im worried about someone though. heh. :)

Jason's : You dun have to show everyone how good u are, its more meaningful when people find out how good u realli are.

Run Fatboy Run!

Slacked for the whole day, woke up at 3pm then went to cut hair at 5pm. Watched a few 'inspirational' movies these 2 days, and its not that kinda movie, mind you. I watched Super Size Me and Run Fat boy Run, its scary what fastfood can do to your body man. Wow. Anyways both movie have a thing in common, the fats. hahasss :P

Watched The Girl Next Door as well, its not like your usual teen american flick, there's a message behind the movie. I know, exams are coming, and im supposed to study rather then watching shows all day long, but i kinda wanna take a break after passing up investment project. So pardon me for my slackiness. hahaass

Its sunday, and i tink im not gonna study again. hurhurs. And evening i shall need to force my ass down to the tar and do some roadwork, i lost 2, and i dun wanna regain the 2 back man. Yeah baby, i love roadwork. :)

I never knew that i will be doing this man, training hard, losing weight and toning up for one specific reason. Come monday i have scheduled myself to go to the gym and pump some iron, and tuesday is swimming 20 laps etc. Its like i dun usually plan so far ahead, i kinda do what i feel like doing on the day itself. And i know just why the need for the change. :)

Im doing lots of online shopping these days, buying stuffs that i like in ebay and therefore, my coffers are officially dry and out. hahahas, but i feel good seeing all the clothes and caps that i like. I like to change image alot, to try out new stuffs and see how it all holds up. hahahass. I've bought something special though, and its not for myself. heehee...

Okays, i tink im going to go sleep, i have a deep deep feeling my mum will wake me up at 6am later, haiz. Bye peeps, and try to tag abit after reading, my blog is feeling lonely!

Jason's : Whatever the outcome, spending time with u already is a blessing to me.

期待爱


my life 一直在等待
空荡的口袋
想在里面放一份爱
why 总是被打败
真的好无奈
其实我实实在在
不管帅不帅

想要找回来
自己的节拍
所以这一次
我要勇敢大声说出来

期待期待你发现我的爱
无所不在我自然而然的关怀
你的存在心灵感应的方向
我一眼就看出来
是因为爱

我猜你早已发现我的爱
绕几个弯越靠近越明白
不要走开
幸福的开始就是放手去爱

*This following section is very mushy, do not read if u cannot stand mushy stuffs. hahass*

We tend to miss out on the best things though they are beside us all the while, we just didnt notice. And with each and everytime i see you, i ask myself why have i missed u all this time. Hahass, mushy rite? i tink so too, so mushy. hurhurs. Anyways, yeah, i know life is never a bed of roses, people gave me a percentage of less then 1% , but i hecked it all, because i rather go with my feelings and get pawned, then listen to people and miss out on the best thing in my life. *Gosh, damn mushy.*

Alritey, if tomolo can wrap up the fucking investment project, then finally can start studying for exams alreadi. Im trying to look for a job now, so after exams can str8 away work, i wanna earn money and buy abercrombie clothes! hahasss!

Another side of me wanna just swim and run and gym for the 2 months holiday. I wana pass my ippt leh, been saying i wanna train for it, but everyday do project until 11pm reach home, kaoz. But on and off, i've been swimming abit whenever i have a day off from the project, so im kinda maintaining the health abit.

My blog abit boring i know, no pictures. lolx. But i rarely take pictures, so i dun realli have much pictures to post here. hurhurs. I tink its time i went off le, next entry, i might be discussing about humans from different backgrounds living alternate lifestyles. Contrasting the lives of the rich and the spoiled VS the lives of the poor and the denied. hahaass :P

Jason's : I am rarely so mushy, so forgive me for this entry. :)

W.H.Y

Not being emo, but well, kinda sian. I was wondering what was realli expected in a man. Hmms. I tink diff women have diff expectations, but the hard part is trying to know what they want.

How true is true? What can i do?

Im veri disappointed in people sometimes, the details i dun realli wanna jot down here for the record. Its about trust by the way, just so u know.

How do u tell somebody that treats u like a role model about something? I realli dun kw how to tell that person, so i dun wanna get too close to that person. Im trying to be not so frendly. Interest. haiz.

These days i've been watching youtube and youku alot, watching funny stuffs and most importantly, watching the Chao Ji Xing Guang Da Dao competition from taiwan. The singers in there are good, especially Jam Xiao Jing Teng. He's vocals is excellent and his singing technique is wow. I am rarely impressed by people, and he managed to make me do just that.

Yang Zhong Wei is good also, but i feel he's too feminine sometimes, he cries too much in the show, though sometimes its quite touching, but for a guy, he cries too much. He's actions are also abit girlish, gives me the notion that he's gay. lol.

Tml is PM test, and i kinda touched it abit onli, i didnt realli studied much for it. Im just lazy, so lazy sometimes. Haiz. Even my room is still in a mess man, fuck, i need to pick up the pieces. duh.

Okays, after investment project then im free for like 2 weeks, before the exams come, and i foresee myself mugging for the 2 weeks, and then after that during holidays will most probably be training and working. Alot to swallow for 2 mths, but wat the heck man, juz do it, dun need to think so much.

Jason's : A song for a lady, a poem for a beauty, a heart for the worthy. (Jason, 2008)