Ti Amo

Had my first mobilization todae, wasnt as bad as i thought. Things moved quite fast, went to camp, inpro, unpack and check, went to emart to get watever i didnt bring, then home bound. Short and sweet. Things finished up within the hour. Hurhur.

I bought 4 sets of new PT attire at the emart todae, the new shorts were very 'sexy', the new pt shirt were brown and very nice for training purposes. Its after chinese new yr and its time to go back to what i started, i must keep to my word.

I think, sometimes we must give things a chance, no matter how impossible we perceive it to be. For example, u might not like chocolate, but u must give it a chance to see whether it suits u anot. We are born to try, no matter what, if there is no start, there will never be an end. Dun give excuses any longer, give yourself a chance, give it a go.

The above is just to remind somebody that sticking to the 'safe' boundries of his/her world will lead him/her no where. Go out and see the world for what it realli is, dun simply hold down urself and have the perception that everything that you dont do, is useless and a waste of time. I used to confine myself to my safe world in the past, but i opened up, nothing is impossible, its just whether u give yourself and give whatever u can do a chance.

I used to tink basketball is dumb, but once i gave it a try, i realised there's more to it then meets the eye. The same with the gal im currently interested in, i used to think other wise, but soon time showed me who she realli is, and therefore im determined to make the extra effort to understand her more. What im trying to say is, dun ever close off any possibilities or paths, though u might fall down, u learn something from the fall.

Ah, i think all the above thoughts came about when i was doing my mob todae, i've been tinking on my way, that mob is fucked up, yet when i reached there, it wasnt so bad. I used to tink RT and reservist sucks balls, yet once i tried them, they are quite enjoyable actually. U get to meet new frends and new people, get exposed to new environment and everyday u learn something from everybody. Wow.

I now know why tv shows always got those documentary that keeps emphasizing the learning is a lifelong process. Learning is not just confined to books and academics, but also through everyday life. Daily life makes me think, and day by day i feel more and more enlightened.

I realli grew up alot mentally, judging from what i did 2 days ago in the school library. I always have this knot in my heart that keeps stinging me. I've said in a past entry that the thorn is my past related to huimin. And the final thorn has finally been lifted. I saw the frend that took her from me in the library, and i went up to tok to him and say hi. Wow. Might not be much i know, but to me, the hatred i have brewing within me for so many yrs is gone within a few seconds.

I've learn to see things even more light heartedly and openly. If its not meant to be, means u're meant to be with another person, u just haven met the right person. We go into relationships to see whether we're meant for each other, that's y i say, we're still trying. If u wait for the perfect person to turn up, it might be an endless wait. So why not give people a chance and see whether ur compass of perfection will point in her way?

Anyways enough talk about trying, lets move on the something else. My goals, yes, im supposed to do this as my WIL assignment. I have no clue watsoever on where or how to start, i onli kw we're supposed to fill up some silly template and then write about how employable we are. Self-advertisement and haolian-ness, sounds like my territory. hahass.

Jason's : Wonderfully insane, exceedingly beautiful, totally cute.

Usaully i put down song lyrics because im too lazy to blog and i dun wanna leave my blog un-updated for more then a week. So todae is one of those days where im so killed by deadlines that i simply dun have the mood to blog. So ya, here comes one of those songs that i swear by, its so damn nice.

Chris Daughtry - Over You

Now that it's all said and done
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house

What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
Fell to far, was in way to deep
I guess I let you get the best of me

Well I never saw it coming
I should of started running
A long long time ago
And I never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, More than you know
I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
Now I'm picking up the pieces
and spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
The day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you!

You took a hammer to these walls
dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say
When you slammed the front door shut
A lot of others opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me

Well I never saw it coming
I should of started running
A long long time ago
And I never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you More than you know
I'm slowly getting closure


I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
Now I'm picking up the pieces
And spending all of these these years
Putting my heart back together

It's a day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you

Well I never saw it coming
I should of started running
A long long time ago
And I never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, More than you know

Well I never saw it coming
I should of started running
A long long time ago
And i never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, More than you know
I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
Now I'm picking up the pieces
and spending all of these years
Putting My heart back together

Oh Ooooooh!

Now I'm putting my heart back together!

oh Ooooooooh!

Cause I got over you!
I got over you!
I got over you!

It's a day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you

Wonderful wonderful song, beautiful melody and meaningful lyrics. Go download and listen, blew me away the moment i listened to it. hahas.

And before i go, i wanna thank my frens. Thank you guys, u people made my day that day, i didnt kw my stuff meant that much to you people. I will work hard guys!

Jason's Thoughts: Daughtry's vocals are so fucking wonderful man. Wow.

Whatever They Say

Whatever They Say

by DBSK

(Micky)Girl, don"t listen to what they say

They can"t stand to see together. Come on Listen

(Hero) Baby Girl, You are my lucky one

Out of all the many people, you and I are the most similar to each other

(Xiah) But everyone wants us to break up

Oh, If this is realty, then don't believe in destiny

*(All) Whatever they say, don"t listen girl

All they're doing is being envious of us

I just hope you will believe in whatever I tell you

Whatever they say, I don"t care, I love you

(Hero) I can't lose you, its so hard

(Uno) Baby, I don't know what to say

I just have to tell you that my heart will never change

(Micky) People just want us to compromise with the world

(Hero) If that will make me lose you, then I will go against the world

*(All) Whatever they say, don"t listen girl

All they're doing is being envious of us

I just hope you will believe in whatever I tell you

Whatever they say, I don"t care, I love you

(Xiah) I can't lose you, its so hard

(Max) I wanted to let you go just for your benefit

But the love and trust you've shown me gives me courage

*(All) Whatever they say, don"t listen girl

All they're doing is being envious of us

I just hope you will believe in whatever I tell you

Whatever they say, I don"t care, I love you

(Xiah) I can't lose you, its so hard

*(All) Whatever they say, don"t listen girl

All they're doing is being envious of us

They are different from us so they will never understand us

Whatever they say, I don"t care, I love you

(Xiah) I can't lose you

(Micky) Baby girl, you are my lucky one

Jason's : Im going home, to where i belong. (Chris Daughtry - Home)

Yowugolohoboto

What makes me glad and what makes me sad. I have this sudden feeling that im kinda the odd one out, dun kw why. Maybe the recent events made me realized that i may be the only bachelor in the OG. hahass!

I like oriental and traditional stuffs, things that have a cheena tinge to it. There's this air of elegance and traditional love around chinese culture. Songs that have a ancient romantic aura around them brings my imagination to those olden days china, example are Qing Hua Ci and Jiang Nan. I was from chinese orchestra during my sec skool days, and there's this indescribable beauty about traditional chinese music, a beauty that bestows and brings out the essence of orientalism.

Im vexed todae, that's y im blogging now. I feel veri lost and stuck, i dun realli kw which steps to take and which path to travel. A new addition to the formula got the whole thing all messed up. So many things to stress over, so little time. Fuck projects, fuck tests and fuck RMIT. Period.

Jason's : Self-hypnosis. Law of attraction. rubbish. crap.

Coded Words

Inch by inch, bit by bit, i know. Patience, i have. Tired, i am. People say its impossible, to me, if we dun try, its realli impossible. I try, at least more then 0%, dun try, cfm 0%.

This morning went to gym, did some light stuffs because its been sometime since my last gym session. Indeed i have weakened, i used to be able to endure 12 reps 3 cycles, now its juz 8 reps 2 cycles. Whatever it is, im taking it slow and steady. I might not become a hunk, i might not get a 6 pec, but the gist of the story is i try. I at least try fucking hard to get them.

Soon my boxing regime will start once again, this time the complete stuff, not just heavy bags. I most prob will be proceeding to phrase 2 of the RT because 1 mth is simply too little time to tone up enough to pass the IPPT, but im not complaining, because RT force the focus into me. I needa get kicked in the butt to take training religiously.

And now abit of psychology.
We human beings, always have highs and lows in our emotional states. But the surprising thing is there's no absolute continuing span of high or low. Meaning, what comes up must go down, what goes down must come up. Have u ever wondered how a simple song, or a single event can instantly affect ur mood? Sometimes even a 180 degree change?

Different people have different methods to calm themselves down, and for me, its music. The wonderful thing about music is the various genres seems to have a mind of their own, singing about love, or simply chanting about hope and life itself. Each and every song have a soul of its own, and that's how i perceive songs to be, an individual entity. I heard from somewhere, that every song tells a story.

Usually things can be very simple, so why make things so difficult?

Jason's : Im just a man. A simple man.

Evanescence

Slack day todae, slept all the way till 1pm plus, then went to meet mee kia for haircut. I didnt realli cut my hair, kinda trim it only. After new yr then cut ang moh head. Wootz. Then somewhere around late noon, went to meet zhengyi for kopi at jurong point coffee bean.

Zhengyi always have this notion that im still that kiddish fellow that always tok cock and nonsense with him, but sad to say, its wrong. I guess he needs someone who he tinks is a loser to side with, and automatically he includes me inside his loser list. Therefore sometimes its simply upsetting that he keeps trying to lower my self-esteem by saying things that are veri disheartening to say the least.

I once said a man's heart should be like the ocean, able to swallow and forgive. All along i tried to live by that phrase, yet people start seeing me as a timid fellow. To me, its better that people see me as a weakling, then fear me for my temper. I know deep within that sometimes things might seem unfair and there's injustice, yet i chose to forgive and forget the whole thing.

Im not without fire though im nice, its juz that my fire, aint that kinda normal fire. Im in a very peaceful state of emotions now, finally untying all the knots that have plagued me for so long. All the past burdens that i have carried with me quietly, are slowly being put down one by one.

As i become lighter physically and emotionally, im beginning to see life as a wholesome entity, not as some cramped up existence. Why be bothered by things and people that seems fucked up? Let it go ba, everything has a start and has an end. Let grudges and grievances be a thing of the past, all those things will be gone with the wind. Letting go is easier said then done, but everything is simply due to your perspective, knowing when to let go is a profound knowledge.

Therefore, im now a clean sheet, started anew. My mind is aligned to my dreams and ambitions, my heart is aligned to a wonderful gal, my body is aligned towards building a better shape. Sometimes i contradict my entries, so try to understand how come im so contradictory.

Derek McDonald - Hurts So Bad

Jason's : Can i tok to you for a minute? Can i bring u out for a day?

Obviously Obvious

I still wonder how come ppl still doesnt notice it at all. I asked the one-nearest-to-me izzit obvious, and he told me for ppl tat kws, its veri obvious. Im not trying to be all secretive about this thing, but i simply dun wanna advertise it, its sickening when the whole world knows and you're kinda stuck.

I dun hold much hope, eugene told me, the higher the hope, the greater the disappointment. She's a very nice gal, i sincerely say this, yet i further understand that things have not gone the way i want them for a very long time already. I keep trying to drop hints, but whether she gets it anot, im not sure. Up to this point, if gals realli have a sixth sense, then she should know its her.

As for the past, she's a sister to me now, no more then that. After thinking thru, there's no point denying things when ppl disturb me, just smile and forget it. The more i deny, the more im still into it, therefore, dun deny, accept the joke and laugh it off. :)

These days im becoming damn sporty, monday to friday im active for 4 days man, and im gonna go for RT later at 4pm. Monday basketball, tuesday badminton, wednesday RT, thursday basketball, saturday RT. Wootz, im feeling shagged out but damn healthy and happy after every tiring day.

The fats are burning and i can feel it, but it shall take sometime for me to lose significant weight, because there's no instant healthy way to lose the lard. Im more outdoorish these days not only because of my O, its also because of various other reasons like passing my ippt etc. And yeah, i wanna look better, im a rubbish heap now.

I desperately need to clean my room, the mess is back. Clothes all over the floor, things all littered around the room. I've always wanted to buy new furniture, but im financially tight, so ya. I most probably wanna make my room black and white, so im now tinking of spraying my current cupboards and tables in my room black and white. Muahahah, im mad. :P

98 Degrees - "The day we find love" --> This isnt the first time, wont be the last time.

Jason's : Change is evident and eminent.