Evanescence

Slack day todae, slept all the way till 1pm plus, then went to meet mee kia for haircut. I didnt realli cut my hair, kinda trim it only. After new yr then cut ang moh head. Wootz. Then somewhere around late noon, went to meet zhengyi for kopi at jurong point coffee bean.

Zhengyi always have this notion that im still that kiddish fellow that always tok cock and nonsense with him, but sad to say, its wrong. I guess he needs someone who he tinks is a loser to side with, and automatically he includes me inside his loser list. Therefore sometimes its simply upsetting that he keeps trying to lower my self-esteem by saying things that are veri disheartening to say the least.

I once said a man's heart should be like the ocean, able to swallow and forgive. All along i tried to live by that phrase, yet people start seeing me as a timid fellow. To me, its better that people see me as a weakling, then fear me for my temper. I know deep within that sometimes things might seem unfair and there's injustice, yet i chose to forgive and forget the whole thing.

Im not without fire though im nice, its juz that my fire, aint that kinda normal fire. Im in a very peaceful state of emotions now, finally untying all the knots that have plagued me for so long. All the past burdens that i have carried with me quietly, are slowly being put down one by one.

As i become lighter physically and emotionally, im beginning to see life as a wholesome entity, not as some cramped up existence. Why be bothered by things and people that seems fucked up? Let it go ba, everything has a start and has an end. Let grudges and grievances be a thing of the past, all those things will be gone with the wind. Letting go is easier said then done, but everything is simply due to your perspective, knowing when to let go is a profound knowledge.

Therefore, im now a clean sheet, started anew. My mind is aligned to my dreams and ambitions, my heart is aligned to a wonderful gal, my body is aligned towards building a better shape. Sometimes i contradict my entries, so try to understand how come im so contradictory.

Derek McDonald - Hurts So Bad

Jason's : Can i tok to you for a minute? Can i bring u out for a day?