Yesterday, was suddenly overrun by emotions in class again... dun kw y, i simply dun wanna tok. Silence seems realli golden sometimes. Im feeling damn empty now leh, i dun even kw y. Wat is it im seeking? if i cant define it myself, who can? I dun understand myself sometimes, its like i wanted to reach tis goal, and i worked hard for it, and when im reaching it, i sort of lose interest in it... y? Am i realli so fickle? hmms.....

The sun is shining down on me now, the warmth feels nice and relaxing. It sort of melts the coldness im feeling in my heart all this while. And im feeling guilty because ytd i did not hand in my accts assignment... im taking everything non-chalently again, and tat's good, cause tat's my trademark. ^_-. Why bother to rush together with the crowd? life's too short to be preoccupied with non important stuffs rite? ( shyt, im going to farking fail my U le.. -.-"" wat sort of cock tinking is tat? lolx.. )

My blog is like a entertainment to some frens... lolx... he says my blog is veri happening and is always seeking to see me blog on adeline.. -.-""" hahasss, u kw who u are gay shit. __
But it seems my frens are getting more and more, and tat means going out and catching up more and more, which leads to the final conclusion ---> NO MONEY.

i need to find a part time job, im jobless for 1 mth le... omg....sianz, knn the bo lui feeling realli sux. right now everyday im rotting time away... my lessons are like so few and far between sia, might as well go work earn some money...

Daily life is becoming routine le, and i will not and shall not endure routine life, i need a breakthru, and tat is wat i MUST do. later will go downstairs and run abit, cause i tink i need some fresh air ba. im stale for too long.. realli realli too long le...

Im just came back from clubbing at COCCO LATTE. lolx... its a dumb and small club..-.-""
but b4 i went clubbing, i went to eat dinner with my starhub frens. Adeline did not come. i dun kw the reason y, but im totally disappointed cause the main reason for me being there is her.
But its' a good move by her, she simply made me get realli disappointed in her. The feeling of affection for her is slowly being devoured by the disappointment. Alot of other ppl did not come also, but they do have valid reasons such as tuition and stuffs...

In the end, todae was the day when i awaken from yet another silly dream. Adeline in the end was not wat i realli wanted. Even when i sms her sometime last week, she didnt realli bothered to reply much. I feel tat she dun realli wanted to reply and simply dun want me in her life. She cant be bothered even as a frend. So in the end, i realli woke up to the fact tat its just me and im realli dumb to commit to such a person. She in the end was not worth it at all, she may be the perfect gal for me pertaining to wat i feel, yet in the end, she was not to be. Sour grapes, ppl might say, yet for me i kw sincerely tat someone who dun treasure sincerity isnt tat good a person after all. Im just the most naive guy she had came across in her life, tat is proven and confirmed.

When i went clubbing with elissa, i realised elissa was a thousand and one times better then adeline, although eli was just a frend. She's fun to be with and a whole lot better when it comes to responding to me as a person. But too bad elissa just treats me as a fren and not as a potential candidate, yet tat point simply reminds me tat a fren can treat me a ton better then someone who i did so much for. I dun regret doing all tat for her and even the scrapbook, just tat there's a tinge of sorrow tat comes with the understanding of adeline. Im not childish at all, its verified by my new frens at SIM, its just adeline simply dun wanna kw me better as a person and immediately condemned me.

Its simply unfair to me, she treats me so shabbily and yet my heart is still affixed to her. I feel so dumb right now, when i was on my way to meet elissa after the dinner with jiawei and company, i tot about alot of things, and on my ipod shuffle, the song
ZHI DUI NI SHUO was played. Its so fated, and tat will be the last time i hear the song and tink of adeline. Its time to get over her and get on with life, there's so many girls and i was so stuck up to be so devoted to her. I dun want another 'corinne' incident in my life. No more, period.

Right now, i have to learn how to live life all over again, and not be so dumbly devoted to someone who dun deserve it. She can realli go eat grass for all i care, because i have finally seen the light. Someday on some lonely nite, i might think of adeline again, but most of the time from now on, its going to be someone else and not her anymore. She wants me to give up? she did it, i finally officially got over her. Goodbye adeline. Sa lang hae yo is not onli for u anymore, its reserved for someone else tat deserves it. ^_^.

Tomolo will be going to study at dun-kw-where with the dumb kukubird elissa. lolx... i sms her alreadi she havent reply...-.-""" tat dumb bird cfm sleep already le bah... hahass... she dance so well tonite lors... normally see her like wanna sleep wanna sleep like tat, tonite she so hyper.. hahass... well well well, i saw another side of her perhaps? lolx.. hope she dun see tis, if not she cfm kill me.. :P

Wootz, todae is a tiring day... whole day of lessons... lolx.. and i didnt pass up my accounts homework... haiz.. amen.. :P

Anyways, in the morning, i went for business computing lesson, and i was late.. hahass... unusaul leh, i always on time de.. watever bahs, i shared com with elaine and i nearli died from lameness.. she is the crappest and lamest gal i have met so far.. lolx.. but its fun lahs, keeps u awake with her lame and cold jokes.. hahass... She's nice and sweet gal lors, she made sandwich for ah tan leh... siao siao.. so sweet of her because ah tan is sick.. *hint*

then in the afternoon, went for account class... hmms... nothing much except confusion in class.
i wore my new pullover and a pink polo to skool todae, and eli was commenting i look gay.... then vivian says not nice, looks veri weird... but im like no lors... its so decent and studious leh.. hahass, like those ang mohs in those high skool shows mah... then after skool hors, we went to eat at MEGABITE and the cutlet there was NICE... lolx.. the western rox over there mans...
went there with cherie, nich (pregnant), viv, lilin (hiphop gal), jiaying and alina and elissa(kukubird).. :P

Its sorta out of the ordinary that cherie was with us, cause she usaully sticks to glynis.. hmms...
after tat we went to play pool at clementi.. wootz... it was fun and i got to kw cherie much better.
she's a fun and easy-going gal and ya, she's attached but her bf like not so good to her.. hahass
i tink i should try to kw more of those low profile ppl in our grp ba... but glynis is realli hard to kw and get close cause she's like sooooo anti guys sometimes... hmms... and right now she's the onli one tat dun realli sticks with us sometimes... i wished she would just open up more and just join us more in our activities... hahass... but i read her blog todae and realised 3 or 4 guys again was rejected and pissed her off...-.-""

Tomolo im going to meet my starhub frens for dinner at marina south le. which meant i will see adeline. im trying to get myself mentally prepared for tat, cause it will be the first time i see her after giving her the book. What will happen tomolo? I tink i shall act as if nothing has happened and see if i still like her as much as i claimed ba. Time does change ppl and i have to reaffirm my heart's position.

Will sa lang hae you will be still said to her onli? or has it quietly changed to someone else? haiz...
nvm ba, shall watch and see wat sort of tricks heaven plays on me tomolo....

todae went to watch pirates of the carribean AGAIN. lolx... but nvm lahs, watch with my classmates.. lolx.

todae i got to kw a few more of my classmates better. hahass... elaine was realli farnnie and lame, buay tahan her.. hahass.. normally see her dun tok much de, she actually is SUPER lame.. lolx.. Then there's cherie... she abit dumb de...-.-.. watch action movie also scared, cover her face with her hands at those 'gan choing' moments... lols? its pirates lor, not some horror flick... hahas
The jeanette likes to hold the lift for ppl de... she's always the one to press the lift button for us, maybe her ambition is lift-lady? like those in japan de? L O L X

We went to minds cafe to play board games nxt, and its was quite fun lahs, we ended up playing jenga all the way.. hao wudi... k le, i go play game le.. hahass... i finally found the mood to play dota again... but its onli 1 match. lolx... and now, its still u and onli u adeline.... sa lang hae yo...

Tis few days, i've been reading someone else's blog. Its a she... she's a veri interesting gal and veri weird also.. lolx... but the funny thing is, she hates romantic ppl.... dun kw y... She hates guys tat care for her, she wants someone tat dun give a damn, and dun sms her all the time and stuff like tat... lols? so different from the normal girls... hahass.. but from her, i learnt a valuable lesson, girls come in realli different patterns.

Romance is not treasured by some, and yet at the end of the day when gals get attached, they complain tat their bfs are not romantic enough... im like duh... women are contradictary creatures and i truely believe tat. Im not saying im a super casanova, but at least i kw wat is qing diao...

Hmm, her blog realli sets me tinking... food for thought?
Question: Why are there ppl tat hate romantic ppl?

Possibility 1: Maybe they've been hurt b4 by some romantic guy tat turn out to be a jerk.
Possibility 2: Its built in his/her genes tat generally hate romantic ppl.
Possibility 3: He/she is crazy and jealous of the world because noone was ever good to him/her.

There's more answers to tat question and im not going to dwell there, cause tat would go too deep into the psychology of homo sapiens. ^_^
But its quite a waste because tat gal tat blogged tat is a realli pretty and fun girl, and yet mentally she's so extreme. Hmms... well, i hope she dun see my blog, if not she cfm kill me in
school. lolx

todae was a fun day. hahass.. celebrated alina's birthday and i was sort of the mastermind. :P
elissa was also my accomplice.... hahasss... we ge siao all condemn alina todae and she was like so
sad, then in the end after our lecture in the evening, we order pizza and everything to celebrate for her.. lolx.. hahasss... Life in U is getting fun day by day, and skoolwork also increase day by day... u can feel the tension in the air slowly building up. 0.0 But the sad thing is everybody went home after the celebration... sianz.. no other programs... -.-"" but nvm, go home early also good.

Went to jurong point with xuanhe as he wanna buy pencil leads, i bought 5 polo t shirts from hang ten in diffrent colours..-.-"" hahahass, but worthwhile lahs, i suddenly have tis thing for polos. The look damn guyish. wootz. But the best thing was, i saw my crush from poly days in popular! wow... she looks good sia, a red tube and a scarf... wooooootzzz.... but i dun kw her lahs, she's just a crush last time.. hahasss..
but seeing my crush, i realised 1 thing, my taste in gals changed drastically from when i was young... i've had a number of girls in my life, and they all are different patterns de.. -.-""
farnnie sia.. lolx, but none of them am i as sincere to them as adeline....
haiz, toking about her, im still missing her, i kw i shouldnt be typing tis here, yet i have the urge to just put it down here.... slowly and slowly, bit by bit, im getting over her, yet not completely at the moment... i admit there's now someone else in the picture, she's veri... lets say unique from other gals... hahass.. thinking about her brings a smile to me.. lolx.. she's like super lame lors... hahass...but i havent realli made any advances yet, because i understand the simple logic tat u have to get over someone b4 starting a new relationship.

i did drop a few subtle hints to her tat i find her interesting, and i tink things are fine so far. ^_^
Im not going to illustrate more about her, because tat would basically tell the whole world who she is.. -.-"" im not doing the same mistakes again... lolx....

But still adeline, if u're reading tis, i still like u alot. And the last words i gave u in the msg b4 i left starhub is still valid for u onli and i will not say it to other gals.... SA LANG HAE YO adeline...

Its been a long long time since i blogged. Its now july le. i gave her the bk tat i made for her on the 2nd of july b4 i left starhub.
I love her, there's no qualms about tat. And yet i kw i she shall never be with me.
Confidence has expired, hopes have died. Its time to move on.
Its one of those nites again, when the moon seems to hide and my emotions are flooding me.
Adeline is at NUS Union camp now, im sort of worried about her. Why am i still worried?
im supposed to have place 'everything' with the bk on her table when i left....
Im sort of surprised tat i have completed the scrapbook, cause i have never done something like
tis for ANY gal, even corinne...

Im bloggin now because i realli have alot of things in my heart tat i cant release...
I've known some new frends in SIM, which makes me tink about its farnnie how ppl from totally different worlds will get to kw each other and eventually become a part of each other's lives.
SIM, its supposed to be another turning pt in my life and im SUPPOSED to get over adeline.
Its realli hard, but im realli trying... realli realli trying....

Indeed, i have known a few gals in SIM tat are realli nice and pretty girls. But its realli not about
looks anymore, who can i click more with? Im clicking with tis pretty and sweet girl now, but i realli feel we're just frens. i dun kw y, initially im like 'tis girl is nice and sweet'... but after kwing her more, i realli feel tat we're just frens will do, reminds me of corinne...Im not putting her name here, im not dumb.

There's onli like 5 guys and ALOT of girls in our grp. And tat is not realli a good thing. People blabber on and on about going to a female dominated Uni and having loads of pretty gals surround u and so on and so forth. But wat the heck man, gals are also human beings lor, so wat
if ur're whole lecture theatre have like 70% girls? Its paradise for flirts and farktarts but for me,
having more girls onli reminds me more of her.

ARGH, wat the fark man, i tink i go sleep le, cannot take it anymore, fark the nite, fark the weather, fark the loser-theory. Im not a farking hunk and i cant tink straight now. I shall farking seal myself in ba, its the best option rite now. Moral of the story: Never like someone too much.