Gg-tified

Sa Rang Hei You. Those 4 words was the motivating korean words for me during my short stint at starhub last april. Thinking about it, its damn mushy lah, what made me tell her that, until now i still dun realli kw. Something just came over me during that period, so maybe im just plain crazy. hahass! For those that dun kw, they meant I Love You in korean. Yesh i kw, its gross, but i tink i do have the freedom to go bonkers once in awhile yeah? Though i do regret causing so much trouble for Adeline during that time. Hurhur~~

Alritey, this few days i have been rotting at home because school is starting nxt week, and i wanna choing finish my XUE SHAN FEI HU drama that nich so kindly lend to me. Gillian Chung is super pretty man... woootz~~~ But its just a drama, so i just watch and get childish during the show ( how childish? I can make funny sword sounds and imagine myself as the guy in the show. LOLX!)

Well that's me for u ppl, there's a super childish side that i dun show people except my family members at home. hahaha! Im like a little kid at home, totally childish and indulgent in the stupid things of life. There's only a few things i do at home besides sleeping and eating. I play mahjong, i play games, i watch VCDs, I rot on my bed. Simple and sweet. Heehee... :P

And i have a very noble habit, i like to look at 'special' people's friendster accounts and see how they are getting on in life. I just went to take a look at Adeline's profile ( that's why i tot about the things in the initial paragraph. lolx) and was glad that she's doing well. I onli look at profiles of people that are important to me to see how they are getting on in life. I always feel a sense of serenity to know that they are fine and dandy. :)

My hair is short now, and i do look dumb. I dun kw how the auntie cut my hair until i totally looked like dumb and dumber. -.-" Well, i have to admit, i AM dumb, so watever. hmms...
I was telling eugene about my obsession during the start of the holidays, and so now its nearli the end of the holidays, and i am still obsessed. Hahass, i guess maybe its just me, i just cant shake off the obsession even though its during the holidays man. So ya, im lost and i dun kw what to do. Lets just see how fate progresses. ^_^

Will definitely be meeting peter and sean before the start of the fresh skool term. Most prob will be asking them to go sing ktv, i tink they have never heard me sing before. Not as in casual singing, but as in 'mic' singing. On second thoughts, i tink they heard before, last time went out with fat-fark-hong (ruihong) and cheebye-vin (alvin) to sing at partyworld. Was contemplating saboing them and make them pay for the ktv tat time! lolx! But its been sometime since we went out to sing, so the time is ripe now. Alrite!

Okay, enough kiddish blabbering for todae. Its time for XUE SHAN FEI HU episode 22! GOGOGO!

Jason's Famous Quotes : Unfazed Obsession Hints At Oblivion

Did You Know? : A Kuku is a bird, but a bird is not a Kuku.

Fuck-Tart

Okays, this is another of those agitated entries, so steer clear if u cannot take vulgarities. The issue in question is macdonald's delivery. I just ordered a midnite order because im staying up late and hungry, and the cb delivery guy showed me attitude problem. Fuck his 18 ancestors man, tat fucking bastard ORDERED me to open the fucking cb door like i owe him alot of money, im trying to tune myself down to become the sort of guy i wanna become, and here he comes along spoiling my fucking mood. I will elaborate more on tat later, rite now, i wanna curse this fucking bastard.

Why is it some service staffs are so damn rude man, this malay fellow tat delivered the food looked like a cock and well, since i dun kw him, i demonstrated to him wat is called dun 'step over the line.'
I walked to the door, open the door and stared at him. Tat cb show me black face, i show him violence-prone face. I tink he got the hint and he quietly took the money and fucked off. If he said anything stupid, i am going to... well, lets not tok about it le, im supposed to be attuning myself to fit a more 'businessman' type of guy.

Okies, enough cursing about tat dog, lets tok about what happened this few days. I went back for medical refresher course ytd and todae, and as usual, i relived the feeling of being poked with a huge needle to practice our intravenous infusion techniques. Meaning IV for short. And like the old days, the training shack was littered with our blood. Hahass, my love and hate affair with blood, lolx.

Initially i tot that this is just a complete waste of time, but i managed to find the emotion that have been driving me to save people when i was actively serving during my NS days. The satisfaction that comes with saving a life is unsurpassed. In my opinion, my batch of medics were quite responsible and we all know the importance of our job. A warrant officer once said to me when i was at the medical school tat running the medical centre is just a secondary aspect of our vocation, our primary and most important priority is the saving people.

Now i tink i will try to tune myself to speak and tink more like a businessman ba, meaning a gentleman, not like some ruffian or some kid. During my reservist, there's this guy that looks like my uncle, and my uncle is the kinda guy that i wanna become in future. Speak eloquently with a charismatic tone, smiles alot and is that kinda guy that sorts of gives u a feel that he is a veri educated man. The tone of speech must be gentle and pleasant, yet resounds a deep manly personality underneath. Sort of like James Bond , dark brooding kinda man. lolx.

Dreams aside, there is another issue that is bugging me these days. No, its not about how i failed to continue my regime. And no, its not about my new hair colour. Its about what i want. Do u people realize sometimes, what u thought u wanted was actually not what u realli wanted? I was reflecting on some issues i discovered recently and im starting to be unsure again. Oh well, i am a fickle-minded person sometimes, everybody has a fickle-minded side too rite?

This paragraph is dedicated to one of my bestest frend. Do not hang on to something that u alreadi kw u dun feel for. Dragging things is not going to do any good, its only going to postpone the inevitable and eventually will amplify the damage done. Though in the past, my mentality is very negative against forsakers, i have came to realised over the yrs that sometimes, amputating a rotting arm is the biggest mercy u can ever give the arm. If u dun find the courage to amputate, then the rotting arm will infect ur entire body eventually. Im not trying to tell u to chop off ur hand, but dun think about what the hand has done or can do, but rather reflect upon the bigger picture: what effect it will have on the hand if u delay amputating it. Im just voicing my mundane opinions regarding ur arm and ur health, so take it with a pinch of salt. I tink u understand its a medical emergency. :)

Sean, this paragraph is dedicated to u, because u asked me when im free rite? My answer is simple. i am always free, anytime should be fine, but i need to be reminded the day before, i dun wanna do stunt again like what i did to peter. My memory isnt realli that good, and im still feeling guilty for putting peter's plane tat nite. And sean bro, thanks for the encouraging words for my commercial law. Ai zai! *punch to chest*

Every sunday is mahjong day. Nich, xh and nich's fren ( i forgot her name) are my kakis. Muahaha! I've been winning a little here and there, so im actually improving at mahjong!(i tink).

Allow me the liberty of penning down this final paragraph in a paradoxical expressionism. U have to first learn to love, before u can learn to hate. As the olden philosophers theorizes, there is no hate without love. Why do we hate evil people? Because we dun want them to hurt our loved ones. We chinese have a saying, all emotions are borne from love. Its quite true after thinking bout it for sometime, maybe because i always seem to indirectly link every emotion i feel to a specific type of love that i have for different people. And well, a certain type is eluding me for sometime now, will that certain type be possible?


Jason's Famous Quotes : Sentients of a romantic nature are the buds of a doomed rose.

Did You Know? : We all have forsaken somethings to be where we are today.

Better Days

A grim day to blog, simply because i failed my commercial law. How the hell i managed tat, i dun not kw. But what i kw is tat i failed it, and im now 1 sem behind... Haiz , i realli dun understand how come i can fail commercial law, which isnt that hard. Maybe my magic has ran out? My forever passing streak has finally ended? And it veri well should, my poly days was sustained smoothly due to it.

Have u ever wondered when some ppl made a huge impact on ur life and made u wat u are todae? And this cathegory of ppl, i put them beri close to my heart. They're the people that taught me valuable lessons in life, and some of them even learnt to bear with what i am, to be true frens with me. I have 4 frens who have made the most impact on my life though one of them, i dun realli kw her well. My grandfather that has passed away also play a huge role in shaping my ambitions and what i wanna do in my lifetime. He's a good businessman that believes in honesty and humility, working hard to be at what he was. Therefore that explains how come im so bent on becoming a businessman. :)

The 4 frens i've been toking about earlier, do u guys wanna kw who they are? Its 3 gals and a guy. The guy im toking about is obviously my best buddy ah wei, we've been thru quite alot together and i agree there have been some rough times for our frendship, but we still managed to hang on to this brotherhood for 13 yrs. Along these 13 yrs, i learnt alot from him, and one of the best thing about him is though he grumbles alot, he never fails to extend a helping hand to a fren in need. :)

Next up is the 1st gal i took a fancy to. Lets call her H. hahas, its quite incredible when i tell u how i got attracted to her during my sec 1 days. It's so unbelievable that u have to ask me personally, i wont even type it here. heehee. I didnt realli kw her well, but news of me having a torch for her spread like wild fire thanks to a gal we've come to known as 'Big mouth'. Anyways H realli showed me that some girls seriously DUN go for looks, she's so sweet and pretty, among the best gals in the skool.

While im just another fat kid on the block, totally fat and ugly, weak in every aspect. She actually gave me a chance when we were sec 3, i remember its during a Chinese Orchestra Camp ( yeah, i was from the CO, because she's in the CO mah. lolx! ), there's this dance event that needs us to find partners, she totally surprised me and made me blush like some tomato from mars man.

What did she do? She walked over to me, and silently smiled and held my hands to be her dance partner... omg.. i can still feel the shyness up till now man. hahass
I went blood-red from then on and i nearly fainted during that event and the entire CO is laughing at me. lolx, a fat bespectacled guy being laughed at in the middle of the courtyard at 9pm at nite isnt exactly what i wanted from a camp. hahasss :P

What made her have this suddenly surprising act, till this day i still dun kw, but what i can tell u is, this thing is gonna stick in my head till the day i close my eyes permanently. During sec 2, though im shy, i still did some stuffs like buy birthday gifts and valentine gifts which she rejected. hmph, i was sort of disappointed during my youth and i totally dun understand why she couldnt just accept them.

And thanks to my 'spy', who happens to be her best frend, i understood why. Her family is veri strict with her, and if she takes anything home that have a hint of romance, all hell breaks loose, so ya, she rejected those stuffs because its just not applicable then. And guess what, the Forever Friends bear i bought for her is still with me till this day, hahass! :)

Well, after the camp, i got her number ( yesh, finally after 3 yrs i summoned the courage to get her number. told u i was shy rite? ) and tried to call her up to chat a few times, but i was too shy to realli tok about some constructive stuffs. But slowly i get to kw her abit better, till one day i actually called her before the O levels start to 'pop the question'. And the response i got was that she wanna concentrate on her studies and dun wanna tok about such stuffs yet, she told me to wait till after O levels.

Naturally i was disappointed and the nxt day i consulted my F.G.C (Fat Guys Council) for advice, :) . The FGC passed a verdict that she was just rejecting me in a nicer way and so i happily listened to the 'holy verdict' of the FGC. In the end, guess what? I didnt contacted her after that, and after the Os, she settled down with a fren of mine until now.-.-""

I called her best fren to ask what happened, it seems she told that guy the same thing that she told me. And after the Os, she waited for my call for 2 weeks, but i didnt call at all. So this other guy toked to her and went after her, which the end result is he got her. And there and then, when i received the news, i just sort of stunned there, i wished i could blame the FGC for the state of matter, but i know i cant, simply because i am the one that chose to do what i have done.

Till this day, this turn of events has been the greatest regret i have in all my 24 yrs. If only i called, if only i waited, if only i tried harder, if only i believed in myself... there's a thousand 'if onlies', but only one outcome, i have lost her. So thru these events, i've learnt to believe more in myself and put in that extra effort. I've discarded my shyness, my soft-willedness and learnt 2 new phases: effort and perseverance.

I dun deny that if for that one day she became single, i will definitely go after her with all my heart and soul. I've been known to put in lots of effort when i seriously am interested in somebody (provided they're single), but i've yet to put in my soul before. She is one of the 2 persons in my life that deserves me to put in my heart and soul in entirety. But i guess she's getting married soon, so lets screw that thought. ^_^


Okies, i realised i have written ALOT of stuffs. lolx, its gonna be a thesis soon man. Todae shall stop here, and for the other 2 person, i dun wanna write their names here, but they're my featured friends in friendster. heehee :P


Jason's Famous Quotes : We are heroes in our own right.

Did You Know? : I still keep in touch with a member of the FGC.