Better Days

A grim day to blog, simply because i failed my commercial law. How the hell i managed tat, i dun not kw. But what i kw is tat i failed it, and im now 1 sem behind... Haiz , i realli dun understand how come i can fail commercial law, which isnt that hard. Maybe my magic has ran out? My forever passing streak has finally ended? And it veri well should, my poly days was sustained smoothly due to it.

Have u ever wondered when some ppl made a huge impact on ur life and made u wat u are todae? And this cathegory of ppl, i put them beri close to my heart. They're the people that taught me valuable lessons in life, and some of them even learnt to bear with what i am, to be true frens with me. I have 4 frens who have made the most impact on my life though one of them, i dun realli kw her well. My grandfather that has passed away also play a huge role in shaping my ambitions and what i wanna do in my lifetime. He's a good businessman that believes in honesty and humility, working hard to be at what he was. Therefore that explains how come im so bent on becoming a businessman. :)

The 4 frens i've been toking about earlier, do u guys wanna kw who they are? Its 3 gals and a guy. The guy im toking about is obviously my best buddy ah wei, we've been thru quite alot together and i agree there have been some rough times for our frendship, but we still managed to hang on to this brotherhood for 13 yrs. Along these 13 yrs, i learnt alot from him, and one of the best thing about him is though he grumbles alot, he never fails to extend a helping hand to a fren in need. :)

Next up is the 1st gal i took a fancy to. Lets call her H. hahas, its quite incredible when i tell u how i got attracted to her during my sec 1 days. It's so unbelievable that u have to ask me personally, i wont even type it here. heehee. I didnt realli kw her well, but news of me having a torch for her spread like wild fire thanks to a gal we've come to known as 'Big mouth'. Anyways H realli showed me that some girls seriously DUN go for looks, she's so sweet and pretty, among the best gals in the skool.

While im just another fat kid on the block, totally fat and ugly, weak in every aspect. She actually gave me a chance when we were sec 3, i remember its during a Chinese Orchestra Camp ( yeah, i was from the CO, because she's in the CO mah. lolx! ), there's this dance event that needs us to find partners, she totally surprised me and made me blush like some tomato from mars man.

What did she do? She walked over to me, and silently smiled and held my hands to be her dance partner... omg.. i can still feel the shyness up till now man. hahass
I went blood-red from then on and i nearly fainted during that event and the entire CO is laughing at me. lolx, a fat bespectacled guy being laughed at in the middle of the courtyard at 9pm at nite isnt exactly what i wanted from a camp. hahasss :P

What made her have this suddenly surprising act, till this day i still dun kw, but what i can tell u is, this thing is gonna stick in my head till the day i close my eyes permanently. During sec 2, though im shy, i still did some stuffs like buy birthday gifts and valentine gifts which she rejected. hmph, i was sort of disappointed during my youth and i totally dun understand why she couldnt just accept them.

And thanks to my 'spy', who happens to be her best frend, i understood why. Her family is veri strict with her, and if she takes anything home that have a hint of romance, all hell breaks loose, so ya, she rejected those stuffs because its just not applicable then. And guess what, the Forever Friends bear i bought for her is still with me till this day, hahass! :)

Well, after the camp, i got her number ( yesh, finally after 3 yrs i summoned the courage to get her number. told u i was shy rite? ) and tried to call her up to chat a few times, but i was too shy to realli tok about some constructive stuffs. But slowly i get to kw her abit better, till one day i actually called her before the O levels start to 'pop the question'. And the response i got was that she wanna concentrate on her studies and dun wanna tok about such stuffs yet, she told me to wait till after O levels.

Naturally i was disappointed and the nxt day i consulted my F.G.C (Fat Guys Council) for advice, :) . The FGC passed a verdict that she was just rejecting me in a nicer way and so i happily listened to the 'holy verdict' of the FGC. In the end, guess what? I didnt contacted her after that, and after the Os, she settled down with a fren of mine until now.-.-""

I called her best fren to ask what happened, it seems she told that guy the same thing that she told me. And after the Os, she waited for my call for 2 weeks, but i didnt call at all. So this other guy toked to her and went after her, which the end result is he got her. And there and then, when i received the news, i just sort of stunned there, i wished i could blame the FGC for the state of matter, but i know i cant, simply because i am the one that chose to do what i have done.

Till this day, this turn of events has been the greatest regret i have in all my 24 yrs. If only i called, if only i waited, if only i tried harder, if only i believed in myself... there's a thousand 'if onlies', but only one outcome, i have lost her. So thru these events, i've learnt to believe more in myself and put in that extra effort. I've discarded my shyness, my soft-willedness and learnt 2 new phases: effort and perseverance.

I dun deny that if for that one day she became single, i will definitely go after her with all my heart and soul. I've been known to put in lots of effort when i seriously am interested in somebody (provided they're single), but i've yet to put in my soul before. She is one of the 2 persons in my life that deserves me to put in my heart and soul in entirety. But i guess she's getting married soon, so lets screw that thought. ^_^


Okies, i realised i have written ALOT of stuffs. lolx, its gonna be a thesis soon man. Todae shall stop here, and for the other 2 person, i dun wanna write their names here, but they're my featured friends in friendster. heehee :P


Jason's Famous Quotes : We are heroes in our own right.

Did You Know? : I still keep in touch with a member of the FGC.