Missing Me Missing You
But this month, i must run, i dun fucking care. My boss gave me a HUGE deal and hence i am now at the top of the top together with my other 2 colleagues, but still, its not my own effort and im not particularly proud of it. I must close more deals on my own accord before i can realli appease myself.
Okays, yesterday was damn shoik, went to chill out with the guys and jade at Wala Wala. Someone spoke about something and i kinda stoned. I knew, but still its kinda hard to swallow. Well anyways its good, because i can start to look for my own happiness. Its dumb i know, and as usual, those that understands, understands; those that dun understand, never will. =)
Alrites, back to topic, i blogged todae at this hour, because i came across a few articles and forum posts on this girl that committed suicide at AMK a few days back because of a failed relationship.
I aint gonna advertise what happened etc, the main point here is the slice of the pie i took away from this information.
Life is short, everyone knows that, but yet for somebody to even consider shortening it further, things must realli be veri veri adverse. So the question is, have you ever had suicidal thoughts some point in your life?
For me, thankfully the answer is no. I wouldnt fucking kill myself even if i lost my dick or i became a absolute bankrupt or for all that matter, my future wife cuckooed me etc. I am a firm believer of living to fight another day.
People says god gave you life. For me, its my parents that gave me life. And therefore, no point throwing away the best gift your parents ever gave you because of some silly little problems that will DEFINITELY become insignificant over the course of your life. The only way to remedy problems is to live on and work out a solution, not to go airborne without parachute and hope that the problem dies with you.
Problems never die, they can only be solved. Although i've not been through ALOT, i wasnt realli born with a silver spoon as well. Im not going to whine and spout what shit and blah blah i have gone through so people can sympathize with me. Im a man and so i shall suck it up and live it on. =)
So looking back, im single all my life, maybe that is a blessing in disguise. Cause though somedays the loneliness catches up with you, most days you are just glad nobody ever hurt you the way you dun wan to. To me, emotional torture is worse then physical torture. So yeah, maybe things are the way they are because the fellow-above-the-clouds is trying to prevent people from hurting me. Heh.
Okies, jokes aside, the world is fucking coming to an end. Nbcb the fucking weather hot until mother cry lah. I bathe alreadi go downstairs buy food only, come back sweat like dog. Initially i suspected its my fats that's screwing me in, then i saw a few thin fellows also sweating like dogs beside me. The fucking weather is frying every mother's son in this lil country. Wootz!
Oh yeah, one thing though, am i realli dote-able? It seems womenfolk like to dote on me. Not say i bhb, but seriously, there are a few realli nice ladies that seems to dote on me alot, and that excludes my mum, who obviously is a god-send lady to specially dote on me. Anyways i wont say who are they, later they see this then dun dote on me anymore i die sia. lolx.
Okays, reading back the entries, i've realised a fact of life. Some people are meant to stay in your life, some are simply passerbys. We can be the bestest of the bestest frends, but the definition of bestest onli applies to a specified time frame in life. Example = I have a bestest frend called Jonathan Chan in Primary School. After PSLE, i dun even know anything about him anymore, till now i still dun kw where he works and how is he getting on in life. lol.
Another interesting person is my frends in polytechnic. We kinda stuck togetherly for like 3 yrs, and now we hardly even contact, except for meet ups and stuffs. Therefore, all this makes me treasure my Uni frends more then ever, simply because even after graduation, we're still close and especially the guys, we almost meet every weekend to play mahjong. And among them all, im closest to Nicalashi. This fellow is my colleague in OCBC and therefore we always contact on and off. Lolx.
Okays, im sweating just typing this shit here, fucking cb weather fucked up one. Why cant it be raining for the whole day man. Oh, that brings me to the final topic, I've changed over the years, but some habits are die hard. An example is my love for rainy days and cold nights, its damn romantic. And another habit is the mental allocation of songs for people that matter to me. There is always a song that reminds me of somebody in my life.
For that, her official soundtrack is Lee Hom's Xin Tiao. Nothing much, not trying to prove anything, just wanna type it here for the record, in case i go mad and forget stuffs. Talking about record, im gonna do something for the record, so that i can remember every single thing that happened. Yeap~~~
Okays, enough of irrelevant and random rantings. I know most of this entry doesnt even link together logically, but what the heck, its my blog, i type what i wan, when i wan. =)
Jason: Tonight is just one night, where things aren't that adverse yet.
