Whew, juz got back home from camp... i am VERI VERI tired...zzz... yesterday nite got 'someone' call me at 11pm n we toked till 4.30am in the morning hor? u know who u r lah, still gei siao...-_-" But surprisingly she called me after nearly one yr sia... I realli didnt know tat we can still tok like best frendz after so long sia, its as if like we never stopped contacting each other before... hmm... is it tat we r juz simply extremely talkative ppl? :P i guess wat's past is past between us ba... time realli does wonders... i realli tot it was impossible to forget her, but i guess i finally am ready to accept her as a normal frend ba. I feel like a shackle have finally been removed from my heart after so long... Im finally a free flying soul again... T_T. But i am veri afraid now, because we r getting close again, wat if the fire is revived in my heart? Wat if i fall in love with her again? Wat if she again smash my heart to smithereens again? Haiz... my mind is realli rolling around now... T_T i know all tis cannot be helped, i've got to sort out these things myself lah. Life always seems to b a cycle, the past will always have ways to catch up with u. Im realli stuck now, should i continue to let nature run its flow n risk the danger or should i always leave a gap between us? Tis is a question tat i have no answers to, do you have the answers?
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Monday, November 29, 2004
Sad day sia... i juz found out one of my best buddy's naval diver frend is going after the angel. haiz... i guess good things always wont belong to me ba.. hehe.. life's like tat ba... im not feeling tat good now. T_T i guess the same thing is happening again... i always c the same thing repeating itself... Maybe i wasnt realli allowed the privilege of knowing good gals ba... i know it seems impossible for a good gal to b without suitors, but im juz a fat-fark lah, how to fight with ppl??? Ppl always say tis say tat one, but i believe in 'what will b will b, wat wont b will nvr be'... maybe its realli time i lost some weight ba, i dun realli feel happy carrying around 10 extra kg. I know im cute, but cute got wat fark use? Cannot earn money one leh.. So u tink i should try to go after the angel? Or should i juz fark off one corner? i realli tink i should choose option 2 because i realli dun wanna b hurt again. Corinne dealt enough damage liaoz, i dun realli wanna put my head on the chopping board again... T_T... If u tink im a fat-fark with zero self-confidence, guess wat? u r rite man... hehe.. i should have known better ba... (maybe i belong to the under-privileged club of guys hor?)... I dun know got ppl read my blog one anot leh, but if got hor, u can dun need wish me luck liaoz, havent start i alreadi lost the battle liaoz...T_T... (feeling VERY VERY low morale now...T_T)
Sunday, November 28, 2004
Hehe, now nothing to do, so im updating another entry into tis blog..^_^.. It seems life is getting a bit better for me.. i got to know a veri interesting gal yesterday nite in MSN.. hmm, i found her on frendster n i juz casually added her in MSN.. nvr did i know wat a good gal she was.. She happened to b online yesterday nite, so i juz chatted with her to know her more. She turned out to be quite a good N pleasant gal, she's veri polite n she score quite high in the looks department too :P... I was kind of taken by surprise because nowadays gals like her r RARE treasure, N the best news is tat she's SINGLE!! hehe... though tat doesnt means i have a chance, but at least finally i found a unattached GOOD gal... hehe... i didnt try to get her mobile number though, i wanted to know her better... one of the best qualities i liked bout her is the fact tat she likes singing KTV like me, i know it sounds silly, but i realli need a gal who loves to sing with me so i can enjoy singing with her. ^_^
But she also likes outdoor sports, n my only love is body-building.. haiz.. i guess we could'nt b perfect after all. Personality-wise hor, she score full marks... i find her extremely kind n gentle (though i only spoke to her once lah, but im a good character judge..i tink...). Now im waiting for her to come online lah... i realli wanna know her better, but i dun know bout her... a gal like her should have alot of suitors, but fark it lor, i die die also wanna try lor... Angela, if u r reading tis, yes, its about u. I tink i wanna try to get along with u... if ur not then juz wish me luck lor. i always seem to have bad luck with gals lah, so at least pray for me lah... hehe...(i guess ppl must move on after all, its not tat i dun like u-know-who anymore lah. U should know tat u have a place, but now its slowly being overwhelmed by an Angel... hehe ^_^)
But she also likes outdoor sports, n my only love is body-building.. haiz.. i guess we could'nt b perfect after all. Personality-wise hor, she score full marks... i find her extremely kind n gentle (though i only spoke to her once lah, but im a good character judge..i tink...). Now im waiting for her to come online lah... i realli wanna know her better, but i dun know bout her... a gal like her should have alot of suitors, but fark it lor, i die die also wanna try lor... Angela, if u r reading tis, yes, its about u. I tink i wanna try to get along with u... if ur not then juz wish me luck lor. i always seem to have bad luck with gals lah, so at least pray for me lah... hehe...(i guess ppl must move on after all, its not tat i dun like u-know-who anymore lah. U should know tat u have a place, but now its slowly being overwhelmed by an Angel... hehe ^_^)
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Woohoo, long time nvr update liaoz.. hehe... i juz returned from australia bout 4 days ago, then i've been busy tidying up my pig sty cause the new yr's round the corner!! hehe... Australia was not so fun though... the exercise is silly n boring... If u have a kangaroo poo fetish then u should b there man, kangaroo shit is ALL around the place. Its kinda funny cause it doesnt stinks, but it does attract a MULTITADE of flies of all assorted sizes N colours... The damn flies bite n can u believe they r the size of ur toes??!! Kaoz... The sun there is also VERY VERY strong, i got fried there, tat more or less explains it. hmm... But the greatest enemy there is loneliness, its damn bad cause u dun get to c ur loved ones. im fine with being independant a stuff, but can u imagine the feeling u get when u look around n find tat all ur mates in the tentages r tinking of their family or girlfrends tat they left behind in singapore juz to take part in a silly exercise???!! haiz... its true for me too, i recalled something realli sad in the past... i guess she wont b reading tis so its safe to write it here ba, i dun want her to tink im advertising or something, its juz to make me feel better ^_^ ....
----> We were realli good frendz from the start, i juz tot tat maybe i juz have a crush on her... but it all changed when we went out together... her mentality n personality to me was made in heaven... she's such a perfect gal in my heart... As time goes along, we got very close but the way we c tis is veri different... She juz tot of me as a best frend whereas i truly loved her... i knew wat i felt was not realli rite since she's already attached, but who cares? i juz love her. Simple as tat. But i didnt want to put her in a spot, so i juz did wat i could to give her the best i can as a frend... whenever i went shopping with her, i will secretly remember everything she likes n try my best to give it to her as a gift... dun ask me how i did it, i juz have a good memory. ^_^ As i always told her, nothing matters as long as she's happy. I realli feel tat way... im not being noble or wat, but whenever i c her smile, the world seems to stop spinning. My heart certainly bled when she called me one nite n she cried, her boyfrend juz scolded her for oversleeping, her reason is VERY valid though i dun wanna write it here. When i hear her cry, i also wanna cry too... dun laugh lah, its how i feel leh. __ (-_-) __ Her boyfrend was more of a jerk than anything in tis world, but wat am i to tell her the truth? im nothing more then a frend to her remember? I enlisted during tat time period, n since i have less time outside, u would tink tat it would juz die off yeah? But we're wrong, i spent nearly all my weekends with her N we had a realli strong n deep understanding of each other by then ( i tink...). Then after my BMT, i almost spent all my 14 days of block leave with her... so u c, with so much time together, i obviously fell madly in love with her, but atlast, she's attached n my mum taught me NOT to snatch ppl's gal, so there... (T_T) i was waiting for the time to come when she's single again... i even made plans n prepared the things i was going to do for her when the rite time comes... i plan to light-up her block with light bulbs ( got colour one lah) n juz show her whole neighbourhood tat she thoroughly deserves all tis im doing for her... then im suppose to blindfold her n bring her to a ferris wheel (the big big wheel machine u c in theme parks...) N remove the blindfold to tell her how much i realli love her when the wheel got to the highest point...... i know it seems far-fetch lah, but im a veri romance-minded creature, i still have the plans with me.. hehe... Anyway, all tat nvr went into action, after she broke off with her boyfrend, she changed. N guess who's left out in the cold??? yeah, tat's me. ^_^ She started to keep a distance from me n seldom reply my msgs n calls... aiya, all those standard procedures tat gals do to tell a guy to go home plant potatoes lah... I obviously is veri confuse mah, so i tried to look for her lor. Finally i found her in ICQ one nite...i tried to tok to her, but she juz gave me 1 word answers (another standard stuff tat gals do..-_-") until i buay tahan. i juz told her the truth there n then. Well, all hell broke loose from there, she gave me a barrage of VERY NASTY stuffs which utterly tore me to bits (literally lah, u tink she wolverine meh? -_-) . I realli cant believe tat im realli nothing in her heart after all tat i've done for her...(now i believe liaoz, so long liaoz, still dun get it meh? kaoz ) Then we juz like 'communication breakdown' from then on lor.... me tat time realli sian sia, life machiam standstill for me liaoz... haiz, its juz too sudden for me then lah... put urself in my shoes lah,how would U feel?? Duh -_-. But it was a lesson well taught... sometimes in life, no matter wat u do for a gal, she might not appreciate it at all... EVEN if u realli tried ur best... haiz... In australia, all these kept replaying in my head till i realli sianz... i SUPER low morale over there sia, but i tink tat kinda did me some good.. i realli sorted out stuffs there, now im living again. hehe, things aint so bad after all mah... there's always calm after a storm, so it applies to life too... *_* Im now a free soul again, though i shall 4ever carry the scars with me till the day i close my eyes for good.... ^_^... I realli hope that she can give me a chance lah, im always leaving the door open for her...even now it remains open for her... (i realli tink im wasting my time, if she will come back then she early come back loh, y wait till now rite?? kaoz... im a hopeless idiot sia...).
So u c, tat is a brief account of wat happened lah.. if i go in detail then i will nvr finish tis thing. WOO.. tat feels SOOOO good... finally i let out wat i've been thru (my side of the story lah..maybe her side got twist leh?) I sincerely hope she wont c tis, if not i sure ganna blackmark till i die, she sure say i doing advertisement for some charity organisation one... -_-"" N if u r reading tis, DUN tell ppl k?? Promise? thks ^_^
----> We were realli good frendz from the start, i juz tot tat maybe i juz have a crush on her... but it all changed when we went out together... her mentality n personality to me was made in heaven... she's such a perfect gal in my heart... As time goes along, we got very close but the way we c tis is veri different... She juz tot of me as a best frend whereas i truly loved her... i knew wat i felt was not realli rite since she's already attached, but who cares? i juz love her. Simple as tat. But i didnt want to put her in a spot, so i juz did wat i could to give her the best i can as a frend... whenever i went shopping with her, i will secretly remember everything she likes n try my best to give it to her as a gift... dun ask me how i did it, i juz have a good memory. ^_^ As i always told her, nothing matters as long as she's happy. I realli feel tat way... im not being noble or wat, but whenever i c her smile, the world seems to stop spinning. My heart certainly bled when she called me one nite n she cried, her boyfrend juz scolded her for oversleeping, her reason is VERY valid though i dun wanna write it here. When i hear her cry, i also wanna cry too... dun laugh lah, its how i feel leh. __ (-_-) __ Her boyfrend was more of a jerk than anything in tis world, but wat am i to tell her the truth? im nothing more then a frend to her remember? I enlisted during tat time period, n since i have less time outside, u would tink tat it would juz die off yeah? But we're wrong, i spent nearly all my weekends with her N we had a realli strong n deep understanding of each other by then ( i tink...). Then after my BMT, i almost spent all my 14 days of block leave with her... so u c, with so much time together, i obviously fell madly in love with her, but atlast, she's attached n my mum taught me NOT to snatch ppl's gal, so there... (T_T) i was waiting for the time to come when she's single again... i even made plans n prepared the things i was going to do for her when the rite time comes... i plan to light-up her block with light bulbs ( got colour one lah) n juz show her whole neighbourhood tat she thoroughly deserves all tis im doing for her... then im suppose to blindfold her n bring her to a ferris wheel (the big big wheel machine u c in theme parks...) N remove the blindfold to tell her how much i realli love her when the wheel got to the highest point...... i know it seems far-fetch lah, but im a veri romance-minded creature, i still have the plans with me.. hehe... Anyway, all tat nvr went into action, after she broke off with her boyfrend, she changed. N guess who's left out in the cold??? yeah, tat's me. ^_^ She started to keep a distance from me n seldom reply my msgs n calls... aiya, all those standard procedures tat gals do to tell a guy to go home plant potatoes lah... I obviously is veri confuse mah, so i tried to look for her lor. Finally i found her in ICQ one nite...i tried to tok to her, but she juz gave me 1 word answers (another standard stuff tat gals do..-_-") until i buay tahan. i juz told her the truth there n then. Well, all hell broke loose from there, she gave me a barrage of VERY NASTY stuffs which utterly tore me to bits (literally lah, u tink she wolverine meh? -_-) . I realli cant believe tat im realli nothing in her heart after all tat i've done for her...(now i believe liaoz, so long liaoz, still dun get it meh? kaoz ) Then we juz like 'communication breakdown' from then on lor.... me tat time realli sian sia, life machiam standstill for me liaoz... haiz, its juz too sudden for me then lah... put urself in my shoes lah,how would U feel?? Duh -_-. But it was a lesson well taught... sometimes in life, no matter wat u do for a gal, she might not appreciate it at all... EVEN if u realli tried ur best... haiz... In australia, all these kept replaying in my head till i realli sianz... i SUPER low morale over there sia, but i tink tat kinda did me some good.. i realli sorted out stuffs there, now im living again. hehe, things aint so bad after all mah... there's always calm after a storm, so it applies to life too... *_* Im now a free soul again, though i shall 4ever carry the scars with me till the day i close my eyes for good.... ^_^... I realli hope that she can give me a chance lah, im always leaving the door open for her...even now it remains open for her... (i realli tink im wasting my time, if she will come back then she early come back loh, y wait till now rite?? kaoz... im a hopeless idiot sia...).
So u c, tat is a brief account of wat happened lah.. if i go in detail then i will nvr finish tis thing. WOO.. tat feels SOOOO good... finally i let out wat i've been thru (my side of the story lah..maybe her side got twist leh?) I sincerely hope she wont c tis, if not i sure ganna blackmark till i die, she sure say i doing advertisement for some charity organisation one... -_-"" N if u r reading tis, DUN tell ppl k?? Promise? thks ^_^
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