Timid-ology

Went to source for suppliers todae, learnt alot todae. I realised im damn interested in business man, i like to listen to people's advice and then come out with my own judgement. Knowing people is also fun, though many might not be ur business partners in the end. I found out alot about how businesses operate, and the difficulties of a initial startup, that's y i say, i learnt alot todae. heh.

Anyways these days im at home rotting, not because i dun have a job, but because noone called. Its getting sickening rotting at home, although i can watch all my dramas in peace. Currently im catching up on Heroes Season 2, Prison Break Season 3 and the various jap and korean dramas. Jap drama wise im watching Kurosagi now, its nice, but i heard Liar Game is better, so most prob after Kurosagi i will move on to Liar Game.

And since i have so much time, i also borrowed the entire Naruto anime from fei zai win to slowly watch. Im contented to spend time at home watching shows and playing games, yet when reality strucks, it always hurts. Financial woes always follows when u rot for too long, u do so many things that make u happy, and at the end of the mth when all the bills come, u cry father cry mother also no use, no money means no money. Fuck.

And i have so much stuffs to buy, new clothes, raybans ( i kw, its been almost 6 mths since i said i wanted to get them) , new specs, new contact lens, PSP, ipod touch.... and the list continues. The age old saying is extremely true, money never seems to be enough, the law of economics always applies, trying to satisfy unlimited wants with limited resources. Ta ma de, hao poor....

My dreams of driving a BMW by nxt yr feb have to be postponed, simply because i haven actually done any thing as of todae. Its such a pain in the ass when only a few people have the guts and the drive to do something about their ambitions. People think of becoming rich lah, be boss lah, drive big car and have lots of paper money etc, but how many of these dumb asses have the balls and guts to start something?

People like to drag and procrastinate, to me its simple, if the plan is good and everything is in place, just do it, be a man. If u dun start and u're afraid of this and that, u will never take the first step at all. (this applies to business, not romance, im balless in romance after being totally battered in the last attempt. sad but true.)

Be not afraid of failure, be afraid of not even starting. Why do i suddenly address this issue? Because there's too many people that dun dare to take the steps. I dun blame those that are busy, because they're busy and i totally understand their position ( im nice, i told ya guys. ) But for those rotting at home playing some MMORPG until they have no life for any other fuck things, then its another issue altogether. I dun beg to get people to join my crew, i offer, ai mai sua, dun come and 'hang up and sell', i fuck u understand? :)

Im not tulanz though i use strong words above, but well, im just a little disappointed in people. When will i meet those people that have the same drive and passion as me? I have some frends that are passionate and have the drive, but they're just too busy. ( Except ah wei, he likes stress, dun kw why.)

And one more thing, playing mahjong and watching dramas and playing games occasionally are good for your health, that's why i do them alot. Mahjong train brain, drama train charisma, gaming train fingers. See? Its useful.

Kuku was telling me how nice it was in China, which makes me wanna go there again. The last time i went was during sec school times i tink, when i waiting for poly after my O levels. Went to Jiu Zai Gou, some place near Yunnan. The view there was BREATH-TAKING, fucking hell there's this 7 Color Lakes there that are the 7 colors of the rainbow. Each of the lake is EXACTLY the color of the rainbow, and its just so damn wonderful.

I was there just as the final snowflakes are melting off, so its damn cold, yet enchanting. I had my first snow fight there with my cousins ( yeah, its a family trip.) and the feeling of snow smashing in ur face with ur specs intact isnt so nice. Ahh..... those were the days.... hohoho.. thinking about it, i look like Hiro Nakamura when i was younger. hahass, for those that dun kw who is he, he's the fat jap guy in Heroes.

Well, i tink i have to end here, because i wanna continue watching Heroes, and before i forget, next entry i shall paste the lyrics of my new song here. heh :)

Bang! : God will not help those that dun help themselves. So what's he there for?

Jason's Simplicity : Horoscopes are dumb, they never come true. lolx.

Dark*Deeds

I sometimes do wonder, how would i handle a betrayal, or people plotting stuffs behind my back, planning to sell me out after they've done using me. We humans are dark and selfish, that includes myself as well. There are some people u trust and treasure, and there are those that u deemed as expendable. Everybody have a priority list, and the positions of the various people goes up and down with ur proximity to that person.

Was tinking about this not because i was betrayed or something, its just recently we're going to do something quite evil, but its for the greater good. Sometimes people understand and kw that someone isnt cut out to lead, its time they took action and have ambitions of their own.

Therefore i think the corporate world and society is just that, bright on the surface, dark beneath. People u meet in life, is like tools sometimes, only the selected few that are closer to ur heart are those u called true frends. Personally, there are people in my life that will never ever think about betraying or selling them out, because i know, they will be the only ones standing with me when things spin out of control.

In ancient times, loyalty and honour are the conducts required of a man, yet in modern days, both these values are dumb and naive. Its a dog eat dog world out there, either u eat urself or be eaten. Im a sensitive person, that's a good and bad point sometimes. Bad, because i tend to think too much over silly details, good, because i see people's true nature easily. It's saddening when u see people falling for somebody's 'good intentions' when infact he/she has a modus operandi.

Its realli veri hard to treat people as people without being biased and stereotyping them, believe me, i tried. For example, guys are usually better to gals as compared to guys, and all the more so to pretty gals. Anyways how did i come so far? i digress too much i guess, lol.

Courage, something that is sorely lacking in modern day men and a widely misunderstood concept. It's meaning differs from person to person, and todae, i shall lecture on my take on courage. :)

Courage, the more educated u are, the less u have generally. People who are smart factor in alot of external conditions before arriving at a decision, and the decision rarely falls on the aggressive side. Being passive has its benefits, yet it does not gives a yield. And so the age old question pops up, would u risk being harmed in the process of getting something, or would u rather stay put and hope the man above bestows something upon u?

Hot-blooded males believe fighting and standing up to someone or something is courage, the ability to decimate and destroy ur enemies despite overwhelming odds is courage. And therefore they are labeled as dumb barbarians. Violence does not equate courage, although there are times when they do co-exist. True courage stems from knowing what to do at the right time and proceeding to do it without hesitating.

I know, this entry seems abit here and there, but im getting tired, its like 5am in the morning, so bear with me okay? :)

After the lengthy crap above, its time to come back to my life. Boring life. I've been watching japanese dramas online these few days, no job info from yun, so technically im rotting at home. Regarding my obsession, i leave it to the entity call fate ba, no point tinking so much and in the end cock up right? ya, correct, smart jason.

And ending this long and bo liao entry, i still tink noone realli understands me well, seriously. I need to find someone that understands and is WILLING to understand me well, i feel too bottled up sometimes man. Argh, watver lah, its hopeless, realli.

My O : This will be the last entry for u O, let fate decide ba. Keep smiling always. :)

Jason's Simplicity : And so another cycle of my life ends. What's next?

CB Tagboard

Okays, as u guys saw, i changed my tagboard and removed the non-working jukebox. I still dun kw how the fuck my chatterbox disappeared, but who the fuck cares, i just went to get another tagboard. And i went to source for a nice song to put on my blog to musically emphasize my esteem level. lolx. Anyways, smart. :)

Jay's new song, Wo Bu Pei, is wonderful, as usual. heh. I have the lyrics right here and i guess it does bring back lots of sad memories for some people. I have no experience to even feel sad about, because im officially single for 24 yrs and counting. ^_-

我不配

这街上太拥挤
太多人有秘密
玻璃上有雾气在被隐藏起过去
你脸上的情绪
在还原那场雨
这巷弄太过弯曲走不回故事里

这日子不再绿
又斑驳了几句
剩下搬空回忆的我在大房子里
电影院的座椅
隔遥远的距离
感情没有对手戏你跟自己下棋

还来不及仔仔细细写下你的关于
描述我如何爱你
你却微笑的离我而去

这感觉已经不对
我努力在挽回
一些些应该体贴的感觉我没给
你嘟嘴许的愿望很卑微在妥协
是我忽略你不过要人陪

这感觉已经不对
我最后才了解
一页页不忍翻阅的情节你好累
你默背为我掉过几次泪多憔悴
而我心碎你受罪你的美我不配

Meaningful rite? Sometimes looking at my frens that had broken relationships and the look on their face when they think about the past, it makes me wonder, is my 24 yrs of single-hood a blessing or a curse? I've never been seriously broken hearted before, because u cannot break something that havent even start. Spurned in love, yes, fallen in love, no. hahass.

Dun kw how come im blogging bout this kinda thing, but yeah, the big question, curse or blessing? Staying true and simple to urself in the midst of all this clatter and ramblings of life isnt easy, so all the more difficult is the quest to clearly define urself emotionally. I will leave the answer to whoever dictates human fate, because i am but a man.

Went to Zouk ytd with the guys, had fun, saw lots of people from our school. Local Unis are having exams, JCs have 'A' Levels and the 'O' level kids are too young to enter, so there we were, lots of SIM people. On the mrt with xh and eugene, we tried to prophecize who will be there, and true enough, we were right. lolx.

Drank averagely ytd, abit tipsy, but im never drunk, heh. Clubbing with my current frens were fun, but in a milder way as compared to the past with ah wei they all. I dun club much realli, but the techno clubs in the past were my favourite places to club, though there's alot of violent incidents. Till now, im still quite a techno man when it comes to clubbing, i rather dance to fast tempo music than mid or slow tempo music.

No offense to mambo lovers, but i personally find it kinda funny tat people judge how well u can dance based on how well u memorized the motions. There's this uncle that they say dance veri well, but to me he's just another hype. Till this day, i still respect this guy that i saw in boatquay when i was younger and clubbing with ah wei. I forgot his name, but that guy can dance damn well, his motions were fluid and fast, wootz. Sure he is egoistic, but its understandable simply because he have the skills to back it up, as for the uncle, its realli laughable. lolx. Anyways i sucked at dancing so in the end, i guess i also dun have the right to judge. heh.

Made pizza todae, failed and wasted $17.70. sian. Im dumb seriously, the pizza crust is like 5 cm thick, and i tried to put every fuck thing onto the pizza, in the end the pizza loaded up to 15cm. LOLX! My sister kindly reminded me i could have separated the pizza into 2 large pizzas instead of 1 HUGE one, but the advice came too late. hoho, so i have to contend with a 15cm tall, 35cm long and 20cm wide 'pizza'. Sibei dumb hor? hahahas!

My O : I tried, but its doesn't seem to be working, so ya, sorry.

Jason's Simplicity : They say persevere, i say dun go for someone thats too far fetched. She's just too perfect and beautiful. Sua lah. Yesh, i agree im ball-less.

I want your attention...

Things are starting to roll around, and im happy as it is. Im back online and loving every moment of it. heh. I rotted at home ytd, and tonite its time for some mambo. hohoho, god bless nobody bothers me while i have fun tonite, aunties and gays pls dun terrorize me. please. Guanyin ma bo pi me, let me have a safe and fun nite with the guys ba. Amithapha.

The day before, went out to sing ktv and watch movie with the OG, and its fun going out with a crowd, its been sometime since i went out with a crowd man. Anyways, Game Plan was quite alright, The Rock was as usual, sporting rock solid muscles. I wonder how long he took to train up to tat kinda build, steroids? hmms...

There are some stuffs i dun even dare to write here anymore, simply because if i didnt do what i said, im slapping myself in the face. hahass, i tink u guys can roughly guess what its about. :) I wanna be Top 50. simple.

Money money money, have to work again. sianz. Im tinking of changing jobs, selling credit cards is boring and the remuneration aspect isnt so transparent, therefore i cant help but conclude otherwise. Im most prob going to dye my hair purplish black, because i tink its cool and i have nvr had black hair before, since young my hair was brown. Purplish black, wootz. And should i pierce my ear? Better not ba, i dun tink i have the look. Fat punk with earring? Er xin.

Okies, now comes the demoralizing part. Almost all my frens are attached. Almost. Even kenneth, gosh. Not that kenneth is bad lah, but he's the last person i expect to get attached so fast man. And so the curse continues, i suspect it will continue with my O too, because i feel that im simply not her type. She's definitely my type, because she's that gal i wanna bring with me to backpack around the world.

Yet these types of things hor, is both sided one, so no use dreaming and dreaming and then end of the day, its onli one sided. Sad, but true. Whether i try to do something anot is based on how successful i am this 2 mths. If i can shed some lard, then maybe i would give it a try, if not, i can continue drawing circles on the floor. Yup, continue drawing.

Looking around, i realized my room is in a mess, notes sprawled all over the floor, clothes lying in piles around the room. Its that time of the yr again, spring cleaning time. -.-" Im tinking how bout i wait till the pay is in le, then i go ikea buy some new furniture? Watever. I just need to clear the mess.

Should i go swimming or gyming or lift weights at home? There's alot of kids in the pool since its school holidays now, same for the gym, so lift weights at home? Sianz. So many options, so little choices. I tink todae weights ba, since there's no sun, no point swim and nvr get tanned.

Before i go, jay's new album is out, though i had his album before hand. He's songs are very creative as usual, his new songs: Cai Hong, Qing Hua Ci, Wo Bu Pei and Pu Gong Ying De Yue Ding are damn nice, his worse song in this album is Niu Zai Hen Mang, it sucked man, to me at least.

My O : They say gal's sixth sense is veri accurate, and so, is yours too?

Jason's Simplicity : Im studying Sun Tzu's Art Of War nowadays, but im keeping it simple.

Return of the Lam-ster

Okay, its been 200 yrs since i last blogged. 2 more days to go before the exams is officially over and i can finally drag myself to go reconnect back my net. As usual, im using my bro's com to blog, sigh...

HMT is a piece of shit. Fucked up module, fucked up lecturer, fucked up pioneers. If my future boss ask me during interview --> who is charles babbage? i will tell him ---> ya, i eat cabbage.

Im slacking around alot these days, because im studying for my exams and i liked to give myself this excuse that if i kept training, i might injure my hands then cannot sit for exams. Ya, probably. After this friday's HMT paper, i swear to the mighty heavens that i will continue where i left off. Being a fatter fuck then what i am now isnt in my plans for 2008.

Due to the high stress factor during HMT studies, i actually wrote a song ytd nite man. I drafted out the chorus lyrics and melody, and i will try to figure out the rest of the song tonite. The song talks about breaking up ( as usual, i know. -.- ) and maybe i will add some other factors or twist to the storyline. The next song i write after this will be dedicated to my O. :)

My O, im realli realli into her man, i dun kw why. Its been sometime and the feeling simply got stronger. Yet reality simply hit me stark in face everytime i consider my odds of winning her heart --> its not possible. Hohoho, ironic leh, but unless i become a better man, chances of me holding her hands is probably equivalent to me winning TOTO.

The heart is vast, i realised. So dun bother trying to figure out what other people think, maybe its called insensitive, but why bother man? What do u accomplish when u are right or wrong? So accordingly, screw those attempts at knowing people's thoughts. Be myself, do what i want as long as i dun infringe any formal or latent laws of mankind.

And so, i shall end this entry here to continue writing my song. When i come back online on friday, i shall leak some controversial stuffs here. heh.


My O : I have no looks, no money, no talent. Will u accept me for who i am?

Jason's Simplicity : Fats are a major deterrent factor in courtship. Tested and proven. Courtesy of me. :)