Todae went to NLB at bugis to study for my accts test tml. lolx, on the way, i met with some realli funny stuffss... hahass....

Event 1:
A guy sat beside me and he have the dry skin disease, the scarbima or something like tat de. so he was turbo scatching lor, and his flakes all fly around.. wah kaoz, i realli wanna whack him lor, i have nothing against ppl like him lah, i understand noone wants tis type of disease also, but pls be considerate and dun spread the flakes around mah. kaoz. Here comes the best part, he feel asleep and NEARLY lie on my shoulder... wah lan a.. gay lah, and guess wat i did? I use my leg to bang his leg to wake him up. hahsss.. *evil* then i gave him my trademark 'boxer glare'! wootz, he instantly sat up straight and look infront.. lolx.. so funny lor.. hahasss

Event 2:
I went to mcdonalds at bugis to buy chocolate milkshake, then the gal asked me 3 times i want take away or having in. i repeated 3 times i want take away, then u kw wat? she took out a tray and put everthing on the tray and gave me the tray.. -.-... wah lau a, i want TAKE AWAY lor, kaoz, damn dumb sia, she keep looking at me intensively and in the end nvr took my order correctly... wat the??? zzzzz

Event 3:
Reached NLB finally, was there for awhile and spotted a cute gal. lolx... nich and the others all there le, i sat down and studied for like 1 hr, then i finish le. short and sweet, i dun like to dwell on a thing too long, its juz dumb. I dun like to waste time, wat i like to do is go in, do wat u need to do, then go off. i HATE ppl who dily-daly ( i kw spell wrongly, but wth :P) and waste time, hence when i go out with my group, i dun like it when they nua here stand there wait for this and that. People like to chat and tok cock in their own world and stand there like dumb dumb like tat. And nich and the ppl did juz tat, i simply took my bag and farked off to bugis junction to walk around, and when they called me, i told them when they ready then call me ba. see? tat's wat i call a man, dun wait here wait there, a guy must have initiative and lead by example, dun stand and wait for some miracle to happen. period.

Okay, finished with todae's events. now on to my new philosophy tat i pondered about on my way home from bugis. DEATH IS THE EPITOME OF MATURITY. yupz, tat sums up my tots on the mrt. Its quite true rite? when someone is nearing death, and when ppl die, his/her whole life will flash by him/her in a instance from his birth up to his present state. And he/she shall see his/her actions and reflect upon them and tat state is wat i called STATE OF PERFECT HARMONIOM. Its a state when he/she will gain the ultimate enlightenment, viewing him/herself from the perspective of a completely different entity. wootz. smart ya? thks. :P

K le ba, go sleep le, tml got alot of shyt to settle. hahass.. gd luck to my accts test tml! ciaoz@!

ANOTHER HAVE LEFT ME....

Aiseh, todae got a few stuffs to blog le. lolx. ytd i went to pool club again, and guess what, i lost 4 match in a row... kaoz... the feeling or losing sux, dun kw y, but the stewpid ball juz doesnt wanna go into the damn hole. zzzz, the whole evening i've been losing and i feel so bored.
and when there was once i was going to win, nich have 5 balls on the table, and i onli have the black ball, and when i shoot the black ball into the hole, i smiled and tot i won.... until the my stupid white ball bounced around the table and went into a hole.... O M G~~~ wah lan a... i lost lor... sianz lor....

Then when i reached home, i wanted to link ppl to my blog, so i went to a fren's new blog to take alook, and i realised she's been thru something realli bad. No wonder tat time tok to her on msn she said she was busy.. -.-" hmms, should have checked out her blog earlier ba, then at least i kw wat's happening. ^_^ Life sometimes i full of ups and downs, humans need to move on in life ya? i hope tis helps u. =)

Another sad news is that my mum told me tis morning was that my senior grandma has passed away tis morning at 5am+. I tink i have alot of grandmas, lolx, altogether, i have 4 grandmas, 2 from my dad side and 2 from my mum sia. i onli have 2 grandpas. lolx.. the grandma that passed on was from my dad's side, she's no my dad's mother, hence i wasnt veri close to her.
Im supposed to visit her at hougang todae, and yet... i guess no need le.. haiz... its quite saddening to know another of ur grandparents have left the world. Im now left with 4 grandparents...

Thinking about the topic, i realised tat in the end, everybody have to leave. And everybody includes me, i will grow old and die. tat's the best scenario tat can happen, cause nowadays ppl die from car accidents , suicide bombings, bird flu and etc... So to be able to grow old and die peacefully in ur sleep is alreadi considered a blessing. ya, veri true coming to terms with the fatality rate nowadays.

I need to finish up my OB assignment tonite, cause friday is dateline, and im still playing maple.. hahass, sometimes, even im surprised at my no-stress attitude. Im not irresponsible by the way, i completed my work fast, and i earned my slack time. lolx. :P Im not saying im smart or being cocky lah, its juz that im a fast worker and i can produce in limited time provided i am in the mood. heeheee.... wootz.... so boring leh my blog, cannot in the nxt entry, shall inject some humour in. lolx... CRUDE HUMOUR. *_*

A DAY IN MY 'HAPPI' LIFE...


Well well well, ppl have start to complain i blog too much on my love life le.. hahass... actually i also tink so lor, nb almost 95% of my entries is gals gals gals, i need to intro u ppl to my life. =)

All right, lets start. Todae went to NLB to study with elissa, turn out i went there to nua and help her edit her essay. My essay onli needs a little touching up here and there, then refine abit the references then the whole thing will be done le. heehee.

Lets see, morning i woke up at around 11am, then ate chilli fishball kway teow, the fishball smell funny de, cause my lao bu bought the thingy at around 8am. lolx.. then after tat, played a little maple to lvl up to lvl 12. I kw its a gay game, but my frens playing leh, so need to play also mah.
then went to NLB meet elissa, on the way there, i bought some corochan and a apple juice for her, but reach there le realised cannot bring food in sia. ta ma de, in the end need to call eli out and eat outside lors.. ge dumb. -.-""

Guess who else i met in the library? lolx, i met my OG leaders baoyu and sharon(i tink tat's her name...) sia. hahass, singapore so small lor, like tat also can see each other.. lolx. :P Heng heng they also doing research there, so jittao call them vet my essay for me cause they senior mah. wootz, im smart, i kw it. dun need to tell me. ^_^ V

Anyways after tat, elissa went home to eat bak kut teh, and i joined nich and ah tan and clarice for dinner at the bugis market hawker centre. nothing much there to see and eat lor, but there;s this cai tao kuay stall tat got alot of ppl line up, we went to buy also, tinking got Q = good food....
in the end... disappointed, totally normal lor. sianz, waste money. zzz

tomolo going to skool in the afternoon, then got pool again! wee you wee! these few days, i've been itching to play pool, but noones wanna go cause they say keep playing pool veri sianz.. kaoz... but one thing is still on my mind, i haben came out with my OB assignment's final draft... lolx... nvm, shall nua and wrap up the whole thing last min, cause tat is my trademark finisher. wootz <*_*>

Whole day rotted at home. Downloaded maple story, played abit. Not as bad as i thought. Wanted to go suntanning with stuart tml, but he humji, say tml maybe pool neber open.. = =""
There's alot tat's been happening these few days, juz 2 days ago, i went out with ah tan they all at nite. lolx.. ah tan and elaine drove me,nich,rei and jeanette out. We went to bedok to eat first, then after tat around 11+ we went to changi see bapo, lolx. then we went changi beach near the tekong ferry terminal to see aeroplanes. After that we went to pasir ris park to see ppl fish prawns, then finally we went geylang eat beancurd and see 'chickens'. hahasss... so happening lors, and while we are at changi, ah tan purposely stopped the car nxt to a ba po and wind down reilly's window lor.. HAHASSS, reilly jittao froze and grab on the door fearing the ba po might rape him.. hahasss :P

That nite was super tiring, i reached home at around 430am, wootz, jittao early lor. ^_^
Hmms, got ppl tagging on my tagboard sia.. hahass, so happi. ^_^ but u all kw, the person tat i realli wanna see tagging on my blog is... lolx... haiz, suan le ba. Anyways, she wont be reading my blog ba.. if u're reading tis, pls tell me are u reading my blog? 1 more mth, after 1 more mth, i will contact u again.... till then, wait for me... =)

Hmms, yesterday nite was raining, and as u guys kw by now, rain always make me tink alot. well i admit i was tinking about her, i dun kw why, but when it rains, i always tink about her. i juz put up my tagboard and hence pls tag something after reading about my life ya? thks ^_^

My blog might not be as interesting as other ppl's blog, but to me, its the best in the world, simply because i recounts all my these 2 yrs of living. Who kws wat will i be after 5 yrs from now? i might be blogging here as a entirely different person. But noone will kw the answer, onli time will tell.

Was having probability lecture 2 days ago in skool, and i was tinking about tis veri philosophical maths question.
Q: What is the probability of the probability of a probable outcome becoming probable?

lols, the prob lesson was abit easy, hence i need to tink of something to make it more worthwhile staying in the lecture instead of dozing off.. hahasss. Walking out of the past image, i have yet arrived at another problematic stage in my life. Im still dragging somethings from my past with me to the present. What is it? im not saying. heehee...

Watever, im rotting at home these days, simply because of 1 fact, im broke.. hahasss i guess my mum is rite, when i stay at home, most prob i have no money to go out ba. wootz, mum kws me best.. :P Im also contemplating to write a song now, for who i dun kw, for wat i also dun kw, so juz write ba, and dun fill in name until 'she' comes along or back. =)

Everybody is rushing the OB assignment lor, i dun understand y, but to me, the assignment is a breeze. lolx, not tat im cocky or wat lah, but take it easy mah, rushing and worrying about the assignment is like so dumb lor, juz take it easy, and its onli a 1000 words essay mah, 3hrs is the max to finish it lor, y so rush? hmms... typical singaporeans? kiasu kiasee? hahasss :P

And b4 i forget, i will paste the magic book i was toking about most of the time here ba. At least u all will get a idea of wat i meant by the 'magic scrap book', and therefore realised im such a dumb person. :P hahasss joking lahs, i nvr once regretted making the book for adeline, cause i realli like her alot. ^_- here goes:



<--- The front page. :)

<--- Her likes and dislikes...

<---What is the most beautiful thing?

<--- your heart....

<--- This is where i first saw her on 20th mar 8am..

<---Her seat when she sat beside me...

<---The one and onli time we had breakfast alone...

<---A brief calendar of events... lolx..

<---Calendar part 2..

<---Calendar part 3...

<--- The reason why i like u so much???

<---I have written ur name 7036 times juz to ask for 1 chance...


For those who wonders where is the 7036 names, take a closer look at one of the 'blank' pages...

Todae changed my blog outline.. muahaha... looks better ba. i shouldnt stay tat stale le.
anyways, tis few days have been a good kid and was at home thruout, simply because im finantially dry. T_T... wanna go out also bo lui, my fren jio me go watch long hu men and fast and the furious also no money sia, cb one. But heck lah, i dun kw y, i rot too much in the end took out my guitar and started playing again.. lolx.. suddenly the urge to compose came back le.. hahass... wootz, maybe tis time i will start to succeed in writing a song? Who the song is to, and wat is it about i dun kw, but can de lah... after INCIDENT ADELINE, i realised when i realli put my heart to a thing, i can do it. i farking hell write and designed a scrapbook for her lors, wat else cant i achieve?

deep in my heart hor, i understand tat adeline still carrys some weight no matter how i bluff and cheat myself telling myself tat she's not worth it. lolx, i've been dumb all this while, trying to escape the truth? nah, fark it lor, im a man, and i shall face everything from now on. no use trying to run away from it mah, rite?

As for my current state of mind, i guess i juz want a good life nxt time.. lolx.. earn money, then buy car, preferbly a moded BMW GTR in black and orange. muahaha, but reality onli tells me maybe i can onli afford a subaru WRX ba... lolx, but nvm de lahs, as long as its moded and in black and orange can le, i shall personally design the stickers! wootz

Im starting to have a brief idea of my business structure le, i went to read DBS bank's financial
performance sheets. lolx, its in MILLIONS lor... ta ma de... so rich... kaoz.
sometimes i was tinking it realli wasnt about money, hahass, its the process ba. money is juz a score of how u do in the process, and for me, i want to be in the top 50 on the scoreboard. :)

Sianz, i've been going to the toilet for 23 times for the past 2 days, my stomach something wrong sia, maybe i ate something wrong or did something wrong tat god wana punish me.. zzz
cb 23 times lor, my asshole super sore and pain lor, machiam my rectum is coming out also. = ="

aiyah, watever lahs, fark the world, shall go play dota now. wootz.

monday... uneventful day, but still another day ba. ! wait.. not realli uneventful, haass.. todae were eating at megabites after skool with ah tan, rei, nich, eli, glyn and cherie. we saw a PRC gal not wearing bra! lolx... no wonder rei and the guys were saying its so 'hot' in there.... lolx... her nips are like poking out lor... super farnnie sia.. hahasss even the gals are transfixed by her assets and we're like discussing about her breasts... lolx... super farnnie lor..hahasss then ah tan was soooo RED sia.. lolx.... he damn paiseh.. :P

But tat's just a small anecdote lor, the best part is i realised a person can be reali dumb de.. LOLX... so farnnie.... hahasss... eli and i went to the library to study after lunch, and we wanted to borrow some bks to bring to com lab for reference, and guess wat? elissa was complaining to me tat the machine cannot use... i looked over and instantly realised y.... the sign was written 'RETURN'... LOLX... Wat the?? HAHAHAHASSSS its super funny lor... omg, she was like trying for soooo long lor.... hahasss... damn cartoon sia eli... she realli made my day.. lolx...then when i disturb her, her helpless expression is sooooo cute and funny sia... hahasss.... its so fun being with her lor... lolx.. then we went up to com lab to do OB essay.. hahass... todae, we realli did some work, nvr waste time. realli. ^_^

Went to read glyn's blog and realised there's tis dumb guy called kl tat tagged on her blog saying he wanna kw her.. LOLX... omg... tat guy is seeking death... hahahasss at least that's wat i tot...
he cfm become the dun kw number wat contestant going to be rejected ba... haiz.. poor creature. :P

Downloaded some bangla techno.. lolx... surprisingly its quite nice.. i like it... omg.. am i going mad? or have i advanced to another level of music appreciation? :P Anyways fark it, im going to sleep le, so tired lor. And b4 i go, i have not been training for 1 week le.. i damn guilty lor, im getting fat again... haiz... sianz, MAYBE tml will start weights again..... but i still prefer boxing leh... aiyoh, fark me, im a guy, must not be indecisive. i go koon first, tml then say. ^_- NITEZ!

Yesterday, was suddenly overrun by emotions in class again... dun kw y, i simply dun wanna tok. Silence seems realli golden sometimes. Im feeling damn empty now leh, i dun even kw y. Wat is it im seeking? if i cant define it myself, who can? I dun understand myself sometimes, its like i wanted to reach tis goal, and i worked hard for it, and when im reaching it, i sort of lose interest in it... y? Am i realli so fickle? hmms.....

The sun is shining down on me now, the warmth feels nice and relaxing. It sort of melts the coldness im feeling in my heart all this while. And im feeling guilty because ytd i did not hand in my accts assignment... im taking everything non-chalently again, and tat's good, cause tat's my trademark. ^_-. Why bother to rush together with the crowd? life's too short to be preoccupied with non important stuffs rite? ( shyt, im going to farking fail my U le.. -.-"" wat sort of cock tinking is tat? lolx.. )

My blog is like a entertainment to some frens... lolx... he says my blog is veri happening and is always seeking to see me blog on adeline.. -.-""" hahasss, u kw who u are gay shit. __
But it seems my frens are getting more and more, and tat means going out and catching up more and more, which leads to the final conclusion ---> NO MONEY.

i need to find a part time job, im jobless for 1 mth le... omg....sianz, knn the bo lui feeling realli sux. right now everyday im rotting time away... my lessons are like so few and far between sia, might as well go work earn some money...

Daily life is becoming routine le, and i will not and shall not endure routine life, i need a breakthru, and tat is wat i MUST do. later will go downstairs and run abit, cause i tink i need some fresh air ba. im stale for too long.. realli realli too long le...

Im just came back from clubbing at COCCO LATTE. lolx... its a dumb and small club..-.-""
but b4 i went clubbing, i went to eat dinner with my starhub frens. Adeline did not come. i dun kw the reason y, but im totally disappointed cause the main reason for me being there is her.
But its' a good move by her, she simply made me get realli disappointed in her. The feeling of affection for her is slowly being devoured by the disappointment. Alot of other ppl did not come also, but they do have valid reasons such as tuition and stuffs...

In the end, todae was the day when i awaken from yet another silly dream. Adeline in the end was not wat i realli wanted. Even when i sms her sometime last week, she didnt realli bothered to reply much. I feel tat she dun realli wanted to reply and simply dun want me in her life. She cant be bothered even as a frend. So in the end, i realli woke up to the fact tat its just me and im realli dumb to commit to such a person. She in the end was not worth it at all, she may be the perfect gal for me pertaining to wat i feel, yet in the end, she was not to be. Sour grapes, ppl might say, yet for me i kw sincerely tat someone who dun treasure sincerity isnt tat good a person after all. Im just the most naive guy she had came across in her life, tat is proven and confirmed.

When i went clubbing with elissa, i realised elissa was a thousand and one times better then adeline, although eli was just a frend. She's fun to be with and a whole lot better when it comes to responding to me as a person. But too bad elissa just treats me as a fren and not as a potential candidate, yet tat point simply reminds me tat a fren can treat me a ton better then someone who i did so much for. I dun regret doing all tat for her and even the scrapbook, just tat there's a tinge of sorrow tat comes with the understanding of adeline. Im not childish at all, its verified by my new frens at SIM, its just adeline simply dun wanna kw me better as a person and immediately condemned me.

Its simply unfair to me, she treats me so shabbily and yet my heart is still affixed to her. I feel so dumb right now, when i was on my way to meet elissa after the dinner with jiawei and company, i tot about alot of things, and on my ipod shuffle, the song
ZHI DUI NI SHUO was played. Its so fated, and tat will be the last time i hear the song and tink of adeline. Its time to get over her and get on with life, there's so many girls and i was so stuck up to be so devoted to her. I dun want another 'corinne' incident in my life. No more, period.

Right now, i have to learn how to live life all over again, and not be so dumbly devoted to someone who dun deserve it. She can realli go eat grass for all i care, because i have finally seen the light. Someday on some lonely nite, i might think of adeline again, but most of the time from now on, its going to be someone else and not her anymore. She wants me to give up? she did it, i finally officially got over her. Goodbye adeline. Sa lang hae yo is not onli for u anymore, its reserved for someone else tat deserves it. ^_^.

Tomolo will be going to study at dun-kw-where with the dumb kukubird elissa. lolx... i sms her alreadi she havent reply...-.-""" tat dumb bird cfm sleep already le bah... hahass... she dance so well tonite lors... normally see her like wanna sleep wanna sleep like tat, tonite she so hyper.. hahass... well well well, i saw another side of her perhaps? lolx.. hope she dun see tis, if not she cfm kill me.. :P

Wootz, todae is a tiring day... whole day of lessons... lolx.. and i didnt pass up my accounts homework... haiz.. amen.. :P

Anyways, in the morning, i went for business computing lesson, and i was late.. hahass... unusaul leh, i always on time de.. watever bahs, i shared com with elaine and i nearli died from lameness.. she is the crappest and lamest gal i have met so far.. lolx.. but its fun lahs, keeps u awake with her lame and cold jokes.. hahass... She's nice and sweet gal lors, she made sandwich for ah tan leh... siao siao.. so sweet of her because ah tan is sick.. *hint*

then in the afternoon, went for account class... hmms... nothing much except confusion in class.
i wore my new pullover and a pink polo to skool todae, and eli was commenting i look gay.... then vivian says not nice, looks veri weird... but im like no lors... its so decent and studious leh.. hahass, like those ang mohs in those high skool shows mah... then after skool hors, we went to eat at MEGABITE and the cutlet there was NICE... lolx.. the western rox over there mans...
went there with cherie, nich (pregnant), viv, lilin (hiphop gal), jiaying and alina and elissa(kukubird).. :P

Its sorta out of the ordinary that cherie was with us, cause she usaully sticks to glynis.. hmms...
after tat we went to play pool at clementi.. wootz... it was fun and i got to kw cherie much better.
she's a fun and easy-going gal and ya, she's attached but her bf like not so good to her.. hahass
i tink i should try to kw more of those low profile ppl in our grp ba... but glynis is realli hard to kw and get close cause she's like sooooo anti guys sometimes... hmms... and right now she's the onli one tat dun realli sticks with us sometimes... i wished she would just open up more and just join us more in our activities... hahass... but i read her blog todae and realised 3 or 4 guys again was rejected and pissed her off...-.-""

Tomolo im going to meet my starhub frens for dinner at marina south le. which meant i will see adeline. im trying to get myself mentally prepared for tat, cause it will be the first time i see her after giving her the book. What will happen tomolo? I tink i shall act as if nothing has happened and see if i still like her as much as i claimed ba. Time does change ppl and i have to reaffirm my heart's position.

Will sa lang hae you will be still said to her onli? or has it quietly changed to someone else? haiz...
nvm ba, shall watch and see wat sort of tricks heaven plays on me tomolo....

todae went to watch pirates of the carribean AGAIN. lolx... but nvm lahs, watch with my classmates.. lolx.

todae i got to kw a few more of my classmates better. hahass... elaine was realli farnnie and lame, buay tahan her.. hahass.. normally see her dun tok much de, she actually is SUPER lame.. lolx.. Then there's cherie... she abit dumb de...-.-.. watch action movie also scared, cover her face with her hands at those 'gan choing' moments... lols? its pirates lor, not some horror flick... hahas
The jeanette likes to hold the lift for ppl de... she's always the one to press the lift button for us, maybe her ambition is lift-lady? like those in japan de? L O L X

We went to minds cafe to play board games nxt, and its was quite fun lahs, we ended up playing jenga all the way.. hao wudi... k le, i go play game le.. hahass... i finally found the mood to play dota again... but its onli 1 match. lolx... and now, its still u and onli u adeline.... sa lang hae yo...

Tis few days, i've been reading someone else's blog. Its a she... she's a veri interesting gal and veri weird also.. lolx... but the funny thing is, she hates romantic ppl.... dun kw y... She hates guys tat care for her, she wants someone tat dun give a damn, and dun sms her all the time and stuff like tat... lols? so different from the normal girls... hahass.. but from her, i learnt a valuable lesson, girls come in realli different patterns.

Romance is not treasured by some, and yet at the end of the day when gals get attached, they complain tat their bfs are not romantic enough... im like duh... women are contradictary creatures and i truely believe tat. Im not saying im a super casanova, but at least i kw wat is qing diao...

Hmm, her blog realli sets me tinking... food for thought?
Question: Why are there ppl tat hate romantic ppl?

Possibility 1: Maybe they've been hurt b4 by some romantic guy tat turn out to be a jerk.
Possibility 2: Its built in his/her genes tat generally hate romantic ppl.
Possibility 3: He/she is crazy and jealous of the world because noone was ever good to him/her.

There's more answers to tat question and im not going to dwell there, cause tat would go too deep into the psychology of homo sapiens. ^_^
But its quite a waste because tat gal tat blogged tat is a realli pretty and fun girl, and yet mentally she's so extreme. Hmms... well, i hope she dun see my blog, if not she cfm kill me in
school. lolx

todae was a fun day. hahass.. celebrated alina's birthday and i was sort of the mastermind. :P
elissa was also my accomplice.... hahasss... we ge siao all condemn alina todae and she was like so
sad, then in the end after our lecture in the evening, we order pizza and everything to celebrate for her.. lolx.. hahasss... Life in U is getting fun day by day, and skoolwork also increase day by day... u can feel the tension in the air slowly building up. 0.0 But the sad thing is everybody went home after the celebration... sianz.. no other programs... -.-"" but nvm, go home early also good.

Went to jurong point with xuanhe as he wanna buy pencil leads, i bought 5 polo t shirts from hang ten in diffrent colours..-.-"" hahahass, but worthwhile lahs, i suddenly have tis thing for polos. The look damn guyish. wootz. But the best thing was, i saw my crush from poly days in popular! wow... she looks good sia, a red tube and a scarf... wooooootzzz.... but i dun kw her lahs, she's just a crush last time.. hahasss..
but seeing my crush, i realised 1 thing, my taste in gals changed drastically from when i was young... i've had a number of girls in my life, and they all are different patterns de.. -.-""
farnnie sia.. lolx, but none of them am i as sincere to them as adeline....
haiz, toking about her, im still missing her, i kw i shouldnt be typing tis here, yet i have the urge to just put it down here.... slowly and slowly, bit by bit, im getting over her, yet not completely at the moment... i admit there's now someone else in the picture, she's veri... lets say unique from other gals... hahass.. thinking about her brings a smile to me.. lolx.. she's like super lame lors... hahass...but i havent realli made any advances yet, because i understand the simple logic tat u have to get over someone b4 starting a new relationship.

i did drop a few subtle hints to her tat i find her interesting, and i tink things are fine so far. ^_^
Im not going to illustrate more about her, because tat would basically tell the whole world who she is.. -.-"" im not doing the same mistakes again... lolx....

But still adeline, if u're reading tis, i still like u alot. And the last words i gave u in the msg b4 i left starhub is still valid for u onli and i will not say it to other gals.... SA LANG HAE YO adeline...

Its been a long long time since i blogged. Its now july le. i gave her the bk tat i made for her on the 2nd of july b4 i left starhub.
I love her, there's no qualms about tat. And yet i kw i she shall never be with me.
Confidence has expired, hopes have died. Its time to move on.
Its one of those nites again, when the moon seems to hide and my emotions are flooding me.
Adeline is at NUS Union camp now, im sort of worried about her. Why am i still worried?
im supposed to have place 'everything' with the bk on her table when i left....
Im sort of surprised tat i have completed the scrapbook, cause i have never done something like
tis for ANY gal, even corinne...

Im bloggin now because i realli have alot of things in my heart tat i cant release...
I've known some new frends in SIM, which makes me tink about its farnnie how ppl from totally different worlds will get to kw each other and eventually become a part of each other's lives.
SIM, its supposed to be another turning pt in my life and im SUPPOSED to get over adeline.
Its realli hard, but im realli trying... realli realli trying....

Indeed, i have known a few gals in SIM tat are realli nice and pretty girls. But its realli not about
looks anymore, who can i click more with? Im clicking with tis pretty and sweet girl now, but i realli feel we're just frens. i dun kw y, initially im like 'tis girl is nice and sweet'... but after kwing her more, i realli feel tat we're just frens will do, reminds me of corinne...Im not putting her name here, im not dumb.

There's onli like 5 guys and ALOT of girls in our grp. And tat is not realli a good thing. People blabber on and on about going to a female dominated Uni and having loads of pretty gals surround u and so on and so forth. But wat the heck man, gals are also human beings lor, so wat
if ur're whole lecture theatre have like 70% girls? Its paradise for flirts and farktarts but for me,
having more girls onli reminds me more of her.

ARGH, wat the fark man, i tink i go sleep le, cannot take it anymore, fark the nite, fark the weather, fark the loser-theory. Im not a farking hunk and i cant tink straight now. I shall farking seal myself in ba, its the best option rite now. Moral of the story: Never like someone too much.

Im now looking for a boxing school to join.. i cant seem to find any around singapore..zzz... im looking for a kickboxing school or muay thai skool. Im now going tanning every week because its
so relaxing. ^_^. I need to forget someone, its takes time. She cant get over someone, i cant get over her, its so ironic yeah? anyways its 15 days b4 contract ends, i need to learn to be frends with her with no motive at all. I need to tell myself i dun like her tat much, so i shouldnt tink of her tat much. Its sort of working, although at nite, when i tink about her, it still hurts.

Time heals everything, and soon, i wont be seeing her everyday, so i guess i will slowly 4get her ba... i hope... I learnt a lesson from tis incident, tat is never sincerely love a girl, it onli begets shit. Being too good to someone is being cruel to urself. There's no need to be so good to a girl who isnt ur girlfrend yet, its just plain dumb. Girls like jerks, they dun kw how to appreciate a guy tat realli cares for them, so in the end, being a jerk rox. it fucking hell ROX.

Tomolo im working afternoon shift, so im going to wake up early to train. Im now into the next phase, its time to use my legs. Im hoping to come out with my own style... maybe i call it SOUL BOXING? lolx.. just dreaming lah.. im trying to divert my mind from tinking about her again. zzz... fuck it, i go sleep le, its starting again, im starting to be sentimental again... zzz...

Todae we spoke. Finally. But i choose to speak less to her, there's only 16 days left before the contract ends. Im finally finish the thing i wanted to do for her, it took SOOOOO long man.. hahass.. She's online now, and yet i chose not to speak to her, im starting to get used to life without her. i need to, because after the contract ends, i need to live without her in my life. Everyday i see her, everyday i get used to seeing her, hearing her and loving her. Although its
been just a short 3 mths, it made a great impact on wat i am.

I dun kw wat will happen in the future, i wanted to be her first bf, and in the end, its quite farnny how i actually ended up the last on her list of potential bfs. I dun kw wat made our relationship turn out tis way, yet i dun wanna kw exactly. I kw its something wrong with me, and i believe she also had a wrong perception of me. We just didnt have enough time to kw about each other, and her heart is locked by another guy. I dun kw who he is, and i dun wanna kw who he is, i just hope tat i dun see her with another guy the nxt time i go out with my frends. Witnessing the one u like holding hands with another person is realli wat i call suffering. I tasted it b4, and it aint a good feeling.

The end of the contract is a veri sad affair for me, and for her, i believe its the best thing tat happened to her because finally, im not there to bother her anymore. Being sincere towards someone is just dumb, and in the process, i missed out on communication. We didnt realli toked much in the end, i liked her too early and the whole thing just sort of spun out of control like a
tornado and in the end, i need to clear up the aftermath. Wat is done cannot be undone, yet time works wonders, rite now i have onli one option, to let time heal watever i have done. Up to tis moment in time, i never regretted falling in love with her, she says she's not a good person, but to me, i kw she's lying. Im leaving soon, 3 more weeks to go, as i said earlier, im leaving earlier then the others, and adeline will stay in my heart. I hope there's a continuation of our story, and may god bless tat our part 2 will be happy,and may her heart belong to me in future ba...

Numbness seems to be flooding me le. Hmph, todae is the 7th day she never spoke to me.
18 days more to go b4 contract expiry and the end of our story. I wish tat the contract would never end though, lolx, simply because of her. But we have to move on out lives, and in the end, im just a passerby in her life. lolx... i tink she likes her one of her senior ba, but i dun tink tat guy's a good guy though. Its my gut feeling although i never met tat guy. hahass :P (SOUR GRAPES)

Well well well, its seems the vicious cycle is repeating itself again, look at the entry 1 yr ago.. hmm, it seems eeriely similar... oh gosh, am i realli cursed? hahass :P
But look at it tis way ba, IF she was mine, and i pissed her off, most prob we wouldnt last a week ya? but i dun realli kw wat sorta of girlfrend she will be because i will never get her ba. :)

Sadness when driven to the end, will always result in a special sort of happiness tat u nvr find anywhere. Its the happiness tat is derived from despair and hopelessness. Its a happiness tat makes u smile at ur computer screen. Its a happiness tat makes the world seems small and non-existent. Im happy now, realli happi. I have never smiled a tear before, and the feeling is so strange, u smile at the screen, and u feel a sort of watever-u-do-is-not-enough feeling.

She's online now, and lets put it tat we didnt speak to each other ba. I dun kw wat to do, except to ignore the world. Let the world excommunicate me ba, im so happi anyways. Nothing else matters, as long as i can smile with a tear....

She's angry. veri angry. Although it seems she's angry over something silly and small, but she have been ignoring me for the past 2 days. I realli feel miserable, yet i kw its not simply because of wat i said. It has been too one-sided right from the start, i got to kw yet another fault in my personality. Ironically it was told to me by someone else rather then tinking about it myself.
I guess in the end, u cant realli see wat's wrong with urself. There's y we need frends, they're there to pinpoint and tell u where u erred.

Sometimes i tink i whine too much, and didnt realli made effort to correct wat is wrong. I onli kw how to be sweet and stuffs and say honeyed words, yet all these are just superficial stuffs. As a guy, one should not whine, a guy needs to kw wat he wants, and then carry on with life with a goal in life. Yes, i do agree people need to whine sometimes, yet how many realli do something about the problem? Problems need solution, and whining is not a solution. I whine tat i dun do same shifts with her, i whine tat she dun appreciate me, i whine tat i did tis and that sweet things and yet there's no return. But did i realised tat i did all those with a motive in mind? I just want her to be mine, and tat's being selfish, realli selfish. What about her feelings? ever considered her feelings? I didnt.

Although i still dun kw the real reason why she's so angry, maybe its realli because of the small thing tat i said earlier. But tis incident exposed another critical error in me which i have to change. Im just not prepared yet. I still have 1 mth to prepare myself, not to try to make her mine, (im just not ready for her now) but to change myself for the better.

And my mind and soul just received a new experience 2 days ago. When u tried to apologise to
someone infront of the lift infront of so many people, she simply told u 'i just cant be bothered'
and walked away ignoring u. Tat feeling carries an indescribable grieve and guilt. I did something tat is past redemption and apology. U just wanna die on the spot, and my heart just bled, it realli bled. Till now, it continues to bleed from the wound.
And on the way home, she toked to sebastian thruout the journey on the bus, she continued to ignore me and i was just behind her, she kws im looking at her, yet she continues to ignore me.
I realli dun kw wat i did so seriously wrong, I realli feel miserable and guilty. The feeling is worse
when tat person is someone u like. Its tat kind of u-wanna-cry-yet-u-cant-cry feeling. Do u understand?

.HURT.

.PAIN.

.DECEIT.

.DEAD.

I realli dun kw where to start. There are some things that i should not be saying, but im realli trying veri hard to seal it in. Im verbal by nature, and now im starting to keep things to myself.
The reason is veri simple, im simply hooked. In life, there's nothing more important to me then relationships, be it family or love or frends, i look upon these as the fundamentals of my life.
Being emotional is not a mistake, its not a weakness, im not going to change tat fact. I always brain-fuck myself, i totally agree with that. Everyone have something that keeps them going, and for me its love.

I can do endless things with love, yet things always seems to go the wrong way sometimes. I can continue to bluff myself, yet i kw wat is going on. Im confident, but tat seems a tad too over sometimes, sometimes changes are not realli for the better, its just the perspective tat u view someone. I cannot pin-point wat i feel and write it here, because im supposed to learn to keep things to myself. Someone once said i have a weak personality, is that true? I kw july i will be starting school le, i onli have 1 mth left till then, people tell me i have plenty of girls in SIM waiting for me, but do these people kw tat its realli hard to find someone tat realli suits u? Im beginning to understand a phrase 'the one u love the most will never love u the most' . Things dun seem tat bad, but i always believe in my instincts and feelings.

All along i always thought sincerity can go a long way, but its realli not true de, around me people have been telling me tat being sincere is nice, in the end, those people tat get good girls are people tat aint sincere at all. Im brain-fucking myself as i have said b4, but im realli tired, the whole week i've been working the morning shift. I've not been sleeping well because im waiting for someone to tok with online, yet im starting to feel tat im disturbing her.

Being sweet doesnt mean u're a nice guy and ppl have to accept u. Most prob she accepts wat u do for her because she just cant be bothered to tell u to screw-off. Im not supposed to want any returns when im being nice, because im supposed to be sincere, yet on the other hand, wat happens when tat special someone dun realli reprocicate? Yes, the 'thks' was there, wat else do
i expect right? I realli dun kw, but i realised tat in the end, im still the low confident guy tat i was in the past.

Y cant god be fair to me? Im just a whiner in the end, whining at the heavens and god for not being fair to me. Yes, i seem veri dramatic and have alot of patterns, yet who kws the solitude in me? The void in my soul? Noone, absolutely noone, not even my bestest buddy. I used to have people i can tok to over the phone. But they have alreadi left me long ago. Even my bestest buddy doenst seem so good anymore, we have grown up, and our tinkings differ. Im making people around me sick and tired of my whining, i tried to shut up, but they realised im diffrent and asked me wat happened... Is this realli wat i am? someone that whines and pisses people off? I tink I know there's someone, a someone tat wishes tat im doing all these for her, yet i realli onli have 'her' in my heart rite now. Im keeping quiet on the full details.

I realised tat she have suddenly became hot property, because she 'upgraded' herself, yet does she kw, tat i have liked her from the start? when she's just her? Just the basic her? I kw other guys are actually saying she's sweet-looking, but have they ever used their heart to view her as her? Im afraid, realli afraid, afraid tat i cannot stop the inevitable. I kw her heart have someone else from the past, yet im realli trying veri hard to feel tat position. I can feel it, yet i dun kw wat that someone did to her tat made her wat she is todae. The lock is starting to open abit i kw, yet i still need more time to open the lock, and yet time, ironically, is wat im lacking now.

Im still doing my 'project' right now, i guess i the end i wont give it to her as a reminder of our sweet start.
Im going to give it to her as a parting gift . . . a reminder of me, the guy that sincerely loved her.

Jason---> tinking too much.

Tanning, that's wat im going to do tomolo. hahass.. tml wake up then wash up abit, then head down to jurong east go tan. muahaha, hopefully i dun become a lobster ba. lolx :P
todae was supposed to go singing with the 'world cup' team de, but they last min backed out.
sebas say till got dragon got tiger, in the end still cancel lor, he's damn dumb. hahass..

Well well well, i've been training this few weeks, and i can see marked improvement in my speed and strenght. My fists are always burning after training, and that's good, means i realli did put in some effort. alritey, and now i realli have to praise myself for persevering for more then 1 mth, cause tis is the first time i didnt break off the determination to train. ^_^. Normally im damn lazy de, but now im damn religious in terms of training, simply because of someone. hahass :P

Im happy now, happy in a mature sort of way. The happiness is taken with a pinch of salt, because happiness might turn into tragedy. I realli cant read wat is going on now, im just going along with the flow. CHILL. . . Tis few days i've been getting quite close to llyod, hahass, he's one great guy, got looks although abit short, yet still among the better looking ones. Llyod isnt realli tat short, not like someone i kw :P, SHORT FARK. muahaha! (but im a FAT FARK...)
but the thing is, fat can train to lose weight, but short can NEVER grow tall. *EVIL GRIN*

Times have changed and i just realised my taste has changed too. hahass. I just realised wat a great change i had in terms of taste and likings. ^_^ . Wat changes i wont say, but still, i realli did changed, its the damn first time i realli did soemthing for someone i like, rather then tok tok and more tok. IM THE MAN. 0.0
I also realised tat some ppl might look good, but they are just fark-up ppl after all. There's tis girl in my office, a frend of mine was interested in her, but she instantly condemned him with no valid reasons. i mean, wtf? u look good then can condemn ppl? she dun even speak with him lor, i initially tot she was a kind and friendly person, but after the event with my frend, she totally turned me off. zzz she tinks she's some sort of pretty gal tat guys will die over her, yet she's too dumb to realise tat she totally failed personality-wise. DUMB GAL. She can NEVER hold a candle to 'her'. 'She's' the best! hee hee... :P

I will never ever cut my hair at a malay barber ever again...
kaoz, nin a ma, tat stewpid malay guy cut my hair till i look like a dog...
c buay sianz, now need to wait for the stupid hair to grow long then can cut again, i realli look like a dog now lor. Anyway hair aside, its been some time since i blogged. The reason being tat im doing somethings nowadays, something tat i have nvr done b4. EVER.

life's fine and dandy these days, i have came to accept that im going to leave earlier then the other guys and gals in starhub. Reason being tat im going to SIM and skool starts on the first week of july. I realli hope i will study well because i didnt realli put in effort in my studies all these 23 yrs. My hope now is to get the top student in SIM and hopefully get a good job after graduation. The fees are not cheap in SIM and i kw it, because i personally handed the 5.4k for 1 semester over at the payment counter. -.-"

Im not going to tok much about my love life nowadays, simply because i've learnt to be low profile. Love is not something to advertise to ppl, not to show how romantic or noble u are. Love is about 2 person. That's it, just 2 person and noone else. In the past im naive and childish, i tot telling ppl about wat i did for her and wat i went thru for her will show how noble and devoted i am. That was so dumb, i finally understand y im single for 23 yrs. Everyday im learning something new now. There's someone who can realli educate me, because she kws so much tat i dun. i realli enjoy toking to her, simply because she showed me a part of me tat was lost during sec school.

Life is like a fleeting image, every second tat we go thru, we can never get that second back again. But the thing about time is this, it will always remain inprinted in us for yrs to come.
There's alot time can do, or should i say there's nothing time cant do.
I can conclude that in the end, the true god is Time or Chronos as the greek call it.
Nothing can escape the grasp of time. Absolutely nothing.

Mission 1: Cut hair (My hair SUCK)
Mission 2: Increase Training Toughness (When the going gets tough, the tough gets going...)
Mission 3: Hit my target of 8 punches per second (Fight like the wind baby...)
Mission 4: CLASSIFIED (TOP SECRET)

okie, so tat's for todae. all these 4 missions will commence with effect tomolo. Dun bother asking me bout mission 4, its classified. period.

The reason im blogging now is because my stewpid sister is hogging the toilet. she takes AGES to bath lor. zzzz, anyways, ytd i went MOS, and guess who i saw there? weichee... lolx... i didnt realli dress up ytd, cause i went there straight from work, and i was actually hoping tat u-kw-who would take the mrt home cause i could have some time to tok to her, and well well well, fate played me out and her dad came to fetch her... wtf? hahass, anyways im getting used to tis sort of thing, cause like i said, i woke up. I like her still, yet im not obsessed with her, i may speak about her and tink about her, yet i dun breathe her. get the idea dude?

MOS was boring, realli boring for me at least, cause well, my mind wasnt realli concentrating on having fun, hahass, im tinking bout some veri veri serious stuffs, something tat i shouldnt be tinking about.. zzz.. Its a sin, a realli big sin. Im not going to illustrate on tat thought, because its too immoral. :P... The gals at MOS are the typical prototype, so its realli boring, all wear little clothes, then dance and try to act hot, but im like --> DUH, u're not even close to u-know-who lor... Then there's tis auntie who is serene's frend, and she's like 40 plus and PURSOSELY go shake butt infront of vincent.. LOLX... we were on the dance floor and vincent was like utterly turned off. HAHAHAHASSSS its so farking funny tinking bout it.. DAMN ITS FUNNY.. LOLX
then on the cab on the way home, vincent was recounting to me how disgusted he was.. lolx..
but i was also quite dumb lah, we were dancing and i unknowingly backed up towards the a 'waterfall' decoration, hence i was drenched.. = ="" knn ah wei and vincent was laughing their heads off lor, EVIL* frends...

MOS was realli a place full of veri different ppl, i saw a singh with a turban, a uncle dancing ago-go with trance music, a girl who is cup A-minus and wears tube which she keep pulling it up, a few she-males, a few aunties shaking fats, a group of underage guys trying to act cool ( totally lose to me, cause i was like slacking on the chair and am DAMN COOL :P) and a few dumb farks
tat totally didnt kw wat they were doing.. hahass.. its fun when u're ppl watching and tinking how good u-know-who is compared to those girls there. Looks wise she might not win hands down, but to me, she's perfect. hahass :p

fark man, i need to bath. i tink i go bath ba. farked up, im going to kill my sis! BRB

梦非梦，实非实，

红尘一撇，辨真实。

他非他，我非我，

人若清醒，苍天笑。

缘非缘，份非份，

幽风落叶，伴黄昏。

蓝新翔 --- 五月 四日 零六年

Wake up. That's wat i need to do. Im always slinking into that stupid dream again. I keep daydreaming about going how far and how far when i havent even stepped out. That's so damn dumb of me. veri veri dumb. People around me are getting sick and tired of me, tat's wat i tink.
They want me to wake up, yet im like caught in a strange and recurring dream tat is so hard to wake up from. Im always like tis, i always tink too far when it comes to gals i realli like, im just a farking dreamer tat always tok too much. Right now im still stuck in this phrase and im actually not supposed to blog this shit out, yet im too pissed with myself tat i have to put tis down.

I kinda read thru my entire blog 2 days ago, and i realised i learnt alot about myself tat i have never known. 2 days ago was 2nd of may, i went back and checked out my entry on the 2nd of may last yr, and i realised i was realli so damn dumb, yet at tat moment, i didnt saw how silly it was. The only ppl tat realli understands love is blind, they dun use their eyes to judge ppl, they judge using their hearts. Im beginning to understand tat, yet i cannot fully comprehend tat fact.
Looks are realli primary in my pursuits, i tried to lie to myself tat i realli like how she is and wat she is, tat was realli so dumb. She's above average and fits my bill, hence im interested, yet she herself kws the fact tat i dun realli like who she realli is.

I've realised wat she meant by un-compatible was realli referring to my mentality and motive for wooing her. 2 of my guy frends in starhub had a conversation with me tat day, and i realised tat i tink realli differently from them. Im not a fark-and-go person, maybe im naive, maybe im childish, but i just cant do wat they want me to. Is a fark-and-go attitude realli the gist of maturity? When u go after a girl onli wanting to lay her?

The problem with me is i farking listen to too much emotional songs, i farking hell am too sentimental and i tink too much, i always imagine tis and tat, till i myself am lost in my own fantasy world. I finally saw wat fark things i have been doing, yet can i change? Is it too late?
I might seem confident, yet deep within me, im realli a veri weak person. Im proud most of the times, yet when it comes to relationships, im veri veri insecure. I say tat im tis and im tat, yet did i realli do those things? WILL i realli do those things given the situation? I always tell sebas and the others wat i WOULD do for her, but WILL i realli do those stuffs? FARK ME MAN.

Im just another farking loser on the block, and i sort of wanna change tat. My attitude is damn lousy, my determination is rubbish. Im 23yrs old, and i need to grow up, grow up fast.
My msn title is also full of shit, i ALWAYS farking hell put wat i feel on msn, its so farking obvious and it goes to show tat im a man with no depth. Happy or not, keep the shit to urself and onli let them out to maybe a few ppl, dun need to go around telling the whole farktart world who the fark u like or wat the hell u feel. Ah wei and richard were right, they were my best frends tat have been with me for like 10yrs plus and i KNOW they're right.

In the end of the whole thing, i realised tat the realli fucked up one was me all along. Its like shouting murder and im the actual murderer. Now, before i actually go and like someone, i need to do some catching up with myself. I need to catch up with the real jason, the one tat was realli infront all along, im just his shadow, always choosing to lie behind him. This all started with huimin i guess, from then on it went on the peifen and then jiayan then corinne, and now finally adeline. Im sorri, not sorri for wat i did, but sorri for wat i turned out to be. I will never regret wat i did in the past, i do not have time for regrets, my time needs to be used for catching up as i said, to catch up with the real JASON...

Jason --- 4th MAy --- 大测大吾。。。。

Its been 2 days. Silence continues. I realli cannot apprehend even after pondering for 2 days.
Dark clouds surround me. The wind chills, and despair beckons. My arrogance and confidence drained. Im like a zombie. Im happy, its only on the surface. I've learnt to keep things to myself.
Noone kws how i feel. Im lost, my soul is lost. How many more days can i survive like this?
I have to put out a brave front. i dun want her to kw. I ignore, i avoid, in the end, the throbbing pain is getting unbearable. Maybe i shouldnt have started in the first place. By decree of the heavens above, im not suppose to love? everything in life is going reverse. Im naive. Im childish. Im too emotional. Im too sincere. God made sincerity a sin for me. Sincerity is a sin. a huge huge sin.....

'Its not a matter of giving chances, its a matter of compatibility'

Pls define wat is compatibility. Compatibility is the ability to accept people for who they are.
In my dictionary, there is no such a thing as in-compatibility. We are not that far off from each other anyways. I dun wish to dwell more into this issue, im not going to do write anymore romantic stuffs or watsoever anymore. My actions are weird anyways, no point acting silly when
i realised i am.

A guy like me, doesnt realli deserves this type of treatment, when ur're so good to someone and u totally threw away ur man's ego, which made me seem so girlish. I keep whining to people around me, im just so useless during tat period of time. I must stop whining and farking hell get on with life.

Im now undergoing OPERATION ABSTINENCE. Its in phase 1, and i sincerely hope it succeeds.
There are 4 vital points that must be resolved, and once i reseolved them, phase 2 shall come into place, and when the 3rd and last phase come into the picture, im more or less there le.

Thanks to yiansin and puan and guoliang and sebas and zhiwei and richard for being there to let me whine to. ^_^, appreciate ur patience guys and girls.

Jason ---- PEACE AND TRANQUILITY ---- 心如止水

A picture says a thousand words....

Creative? hahass, im bo liao (bored) , so i try to come up with something creative ba. I guess u all kw wat tat means without me explaining. lolx.. :P

to puan -----> i reply u here le, happi? lolx

hmm, tomolo off, should i go swimming? or should i stay at home? Anyways, the plan is up le, i tink i try to do something nxt week ba. hahass. but sometimes u just dun kw wat to say or chat with the girl u like rite? :P

Always got this veri funny wall de.. hahass. But its kinda hard to speak to someone with a fear of pissing her off leh. wah lan a, im damn dumb when it comes to tis lor.. i can tok so damn well with other girls, yet when it comes to her.... haiz... fark god man, y must he do this to all good guys tat just want to be good to a girl?

watever lahs. i am god, screw the world. muahaha. :P im abit crazy todae, cause my mood is a tad too good ba. dun kw why, im naturally good mood. lalala. tis is all crap man... im typing crap cause i reali realli am abit delirious now.

Aiyah, im veri 'luan' now, i dun kw wat the hell im tinking. CAnnot take it le, i go listen to 'Wo De Xin Tai Luan' ba...

(Actually im waiting for her to come online, she didnt come online so im abit sianz. lolx :P )

Hot nite, damn hot nite. something is wrong with the weather tonite, its so strangely hot.
hmm, i feel bother, yet assured at the same time. Hmm, im now starting to formula something to start a business with. I wanna be a successful man by 30 yrs old, even if im studying, i can still tend to my little business and build a network of contacts first, so tat by the time im out, i should be able to go into larger businesses.

Should i become a importer of exotic goods? or should i just start a normal ebay business net? Actually, i've been tinking of a veri veri lucrative business, hahass. Lets do something tat im REALLI REALLI good at ba, how bout we plan and put into action romantic 'stunts' ? i start a company tat specialises in doing romantic stuffs for gals? guys can hire us to do various stunts, and i can OVERCHARGE them, muahaha, guys are soooooo stewpid when it comes to love mah, can cheat alot of money.. hahasss ( i was and is still one of them dumb guyz...-.-"")

Not a bad business hor? i mean noone have ever done tis thing in singapore, and then for little stunts, we charge around $500 ba, then for those big scale ones, maybe $1000 will do. ^_^.
Then if the guy gets the girl, he have to pay us additional 'commission' of 10%.
LOLX :P. I will be so damn rich by the end of the yr.. hahass.
Lets see how things goes ba, maybe nxt time, my company name will be symnonimous with romantic love. ^_^V


Life is full of surprises, and wat surprise me tonite is i have ran out of stuff to write.....
im like ---> wtf? i cant tink no more? hahass no lah, i just prefer to dun tink so much nowadays, cause tinking too much is realli bad for health. hahass

Well, but i can tell u one last thing before i go off. A girl looks the cutest when she closes her eyes and rest while sitting in the bus. hahass... then when u look at her, she kws, yet still pretends not to kw... lolx... so cute... :P

hmm, im bloggin again in the middle of the night because i realised i've been veri veri dumb...
i listen to wat my frend say, and i actually had a misconception of her.... Sun had wronged Moon... I dun wish to delete wat i have written as a testimonial of how silly i've been.
It has been a HUGE misunderstanding all along, she's as cute i imagined her to be.. hahasss...

But anyways, its quite ironic tat we actually got closer and i got to kw her more in this way. hahass, from tis misunderstanding, i got to knew her better and better. Well, watever the route, wat matters is the destination ba. Understanding a person naturally is the best and onli way to know a person completely, purposely going to understand her will onli result in deeper misunderstandings...

I dun blame anybody for the wrong information, i had it coming, i chose to listen rather then finding out for myself, so im just lucky tat i got away from deeper misunderstanding tis time. Im now starting to be a better man. Hopefully she gives me enough time to change my bad points ba.

Jason --- The man tat have listened too much and toked too much....

Have u ever realised wat u want isnt realli wat u need?
The above comment is pertaining to 2 issues here...

The first is regarding my rejection by NTU, I received the letter yesterday once i reach home. My mood was actually quite good, yet once i realised tat i have been rejected, i realli felt damn sianz, the feeling is even worse then being rejected by a girl. I felt my future suddenly felt so uncertain and hanging in mid-air. What will i become? Where will i go? But after some quiet moments yesterday ( abeit a lot of advertising on MSN to my frends...:P) , i have plotted out another road for me to travel down. My dream is to be an entrepreneur, hence no matter wat or who i become, my dream remains, the dream to give the best for my loved ones. Im a impractical virgo, my life long dream is to build a cosy yet comfortable house in the everflowing plains of switzerland, and spend the time there with my wife. And around the house, i shall plant my wife's favourite flowers... Yupz, im childish and immature, yet i kw how to realli love a woman, do u?

The second issue is actually sparked off a chain of thoughts after something tat happened in the morning todae on the way to work. I dun wish to say wat happened, but i realised tat wat i have always wanted, wasnt wat i realli wanted all along ba.
Do anybody know tat kinda of pain, when u realised wat seems perfect on the outside, isnt realli wat u want on the inside? The despair tat Sun felt when he realised tat Moon and him wasnt realli meant to be? Althought both of them are round, but they realli belong to different time and space? When they are realli made up of different composition of materials?

Time can heal, tat is wat Sun learned, yet he cannot fathom. Initially Sun thought by knowing Moon more, he can actually learn wat kinda material is Moon made up of, yet the more he knew, the more he realised tat they dun fit as one. Sun was vexed, realli vexed, he dun understand why he feels tat way and wat wrong he did, but Sun realised in the end, tat the problem didnt realli lie with him.

Sun is dumb and silly, yet he can accept people for who they are, and Moon is the exact opposite. Sun likes Moon alot, yet he also can see the reason within, which goes to show love isnt blind after all. Sun tried veri veri hard to know Moon and tried to find the glow and warmth of her heart, but in the end, something was sealing in everything. The lock needs a key, and a key, is wat Sun lacks. Should Sun forge a key? He could ask Time for a key, but wat if the key doesnt fit? Would he find Time again and again? What happens if Sun actually repeatedly got keys from Time, and one day, he realised someone else had opened the lock?

Sun likes to tink, but he is not childish and immature. He just needs to be understanded, will Moon ever tell him wat keys to take from Time to open her heart? Moon once told Sun to dun bother trying to get the right key, yet Sun isnt just a passerby in Moon's life. Sun wants to be a part of Moon's life, Moon shall never know the things Sun wanted to do for her, the happiness he wants to bring to her. Moon did not reject Sun, but its Sun's mind tat is singing a different tune from his heart. . . .

Will Moon ever realised tat Sun was realli such a person? Someone who realli wants to be nice to her? Sincerely? Moon must learn to realise tat she is not almighty, she's not always right, there are times when we must learn to accept other people's ideas and not rebuke them on the spot.
Sun is not criticising Moon, he cares for her, hence he wants her to comprehand that logic...
Moon shall never know Sun, simply because she didnt even noticed Sun in that sort of way.
Sun knows he's dumb, yet he's willingly dumb for Moon. Time blessed Sun with the appearance of Moon, yet Fate shall always be the barrier tat forbids... Will Time overcome Fate? or will Fate triumph over Time?...

Finally i finished writing the story between Sun and Moon. Will Moon be angry after reading wat Sun felt? Hmm, but personally i feel wat Sun wants is for Moon to understand. If Moon is offended, there's nothing Sun can do anymore. Sun is damn stupid and silly and childish and dumb yeah? ^_^...

Anyways, todae i boxed again, lolx, my knuckles feel sooooooo sore lor, i can even feel the pain sia, dun kw y, most prob my wrap is wrong again.. == "" stress sia, i cant even train for long sia, my knuckles ache after like 1 hr of punching lor, gan pua lousy. I SUCK. T_T
But yesterday was fun, hahass, i went swimming and tanning yesterday sia (0.0), long time never swim le, i still as good as ever.. lalala.. i went with stuart who drove us there and then after swimming we went to eat BAK KUT TEH, MUAHAHA, its so damn nice lor.. hahass.. I didnt like stuart in the past, i find him abit pessimistic, yet yesterday i totally understood him and accepted him. I realised my best asset is to accept ppl for who they are, unless they are like the guai lan raymond in office, he shall feel the fury of my fists one of these days... :P

okay ba, enough le, im writing a farking composition lor, ta ma de, machiam writing GP thesis like tat, hahass... alritey, i go off le ba, blog too much tomolo nothing to write.. LOLX :P

Tonite is another nite when i have tat feeling again... cold lonely nite and im here tinking about things again. hahaasss.... hmm, if u have frends tat keeps telling u negative stuffs, would u in the end be negative? would u trust ur instincts and observations more then ur frend's feedback?
seriously speaking, i would rather trust my own instincts and fail, than listen to people's feedback and fail. its my choice anyways. if i have chosen a road to death, i would accept it because its my choice. ^_^

now the issue of my maturity comes into the picture again, hahass... i kw normally im childish because i act in tat way infront of ppl. they say maturity emotes from within, but let me tell u tis from my experience. u will never kw how some ppl think because they never show it. im a open person, yet at the same time, deep within me, who realli kws me? Most of the time my childish exterior turns ppl off, but if they are willing to stay and find out more about me, then these are the ppl tat's realli worth making frends with, because they are the ones that realli wanna kw u as a person. they dun judge a person by its cover first.

Im a tactless and silly person, i might piss ppl without realising it, yet in the end, when these ppl try to kw me better, i actually became veri good frends with them. hahass, they stayed behind and was with me thru some things, and in the end, they realised tat im not tat silly after all. ^_^

i dun kw why im saying all these here, because wat matters most is in my actions and not my blog ba. i totally understand yet still here i am, bitching on these silly things...urm... am i gay?!?

alritey, now back to training, todae i hit 5 jabs per sec man! yeah! i guess after 3 mths i shal hit 8 hits le! ^_^... slowly but surely, im getting better at tis! hahass

on a final note --> Confidence is wat makes or breaks a man, its a veri veri thin line....

Alritey, life went back to normal le. FINALLY. hmm, todae was quite happening, hahass, i knew 3 new frends tis few days. guo liang is tall and gay, but he's okay lah, veri man, like me..:P
then there's puan who is 'quite' short, yet she's also quite cute at the same time.. hahasss.. her bf is even cuter sia, he's like...frodo?(JOKING...:P) hahsss... im not gay. :P last but not least there's wanni, who is sooooo lame sometimes lor.. hahass, but i like lame ppl, they're fun. ^_^ ( im lamer then her, so im the LAMEST ^_^ V )

But todae, someone from the tech side pissed me off totally. I transferred call over and he jittao attitude problem lor. Knn he heng i dun kw wat he looks like, but i kw he's in the office de. i shall keep a look out for who he is, then c how guai lan he can be. wanna guai lan bring it on! NO FEAR. ^_^ V <---( childish yet oh-so-manly...)

And well, the best news is this----> i have retaken boxing again! yeah! and im now in the conditioning and hardening phase le. muahaha.... im training nearly everyday once i reach hm, so im gaining speed le, hopefully can reach 8 hits per sec AND god bless the stupid bag dun drop down ba.... but the side effects are also starting to show le lor... my knuckles are abit painful cause i train everyday, and the ointment i use seems to make my hand's skin peel sia... i dun kw if its expired? LOLX... the best part is tis---> i lost around 3kgs le lor, and i just started like 2 weeks ago? Tis week off most prob i will be going to swim ba, its been like aaaaaagggggggeeeeessss since i swam lor, i also wanna sing ktv also leh, i wanna sing CAI HONG TIAN TANG... so touching the mtv, the FENG mtv and it is both linked, i watch both le jittao touched sia... tis type of thing could happen de meh?...

Hmm, sometimes life is like a roller-coaster. it can be VERI VERI low because of some veri complex things, yet it can go up perpenticularly because of some veri simple things.... ooo how i like life and it's ups and downs... *_*

As the final willows fall to the ground,

the birds shall chirp no more.

With each and every silent prick,

my heart shall beat no more.

Teach me, o please teach me,

how do u open doors that shall open no more?

The man might seem mighty and great,

but in the end he's just a boy.

Thousands acres spread beyond me,

when can i ever halt the travel?

contradictory i might seem,

but the truth is within.

A whift of arctic breath descends,

quietly freezing watever tat is left.

Death creeps upon the still-living,

as livid as the path we walk.

Have u ever seen the moon cry,

when it can never ever see the sun?

Eyes, they are the windows to a soul,

but wat use are they when her soul is not with her?

Time shall and always will,

bring back what she has given away.

yet the windows will never understand,

the soul tat was with her all along.

sincerity flows like a river,

it goes deeper and deeper.

until it can go no longer,

where does the water linger?

rain, it always brings memories,

memories always brings longing.

and wat does longing brings?

longing brought me despair.

AS THE FINAL FLAKES DESCEND UPON ME,

I REALISED TAT SOMEONE IS LOST.

SHE CANNOT FIND A WAY OUT,

BECAUSE SHE'S IN MY HEART.

15th April 2006,
Jason Lam

Todae, i finally got back my com.... the motherboard died on me 4 days ago... tat's y i was not online for sometime... tis few days alot of things happened. i realised tat im abit abnormal tis few weeks.... i tink something came over me and possessed me... my memories of the past just swarmed over me and overflowed onto someone else.

Now i tink i just live my life as it is, because there is no rush to do anything now. hahass, i told her everything and sort of settled out stuffs le lor..:P... but she;s still veri cute lah, maybe after we become better frends and i get to kw her better, i MIGHT like her as HER and not someone else? hahass...

my heart is now at peace le, finally i settled tis silly mess i made.. hehe...

Todae at work, i did something silly again. hahass.. i again transferred a call to my own department.. = ="" tat was so silly yeah? hahass... right now, im feeling abit emotional, dun kw y, maybe it was the nap just now at around 6pm? hmm... napping seems to make me soooo sensitive all of a sudden.. ^_^... since im emotional, i made a poem dedicated to someone who im actually trying to find out more about right now.... well well well, there's a secret hidden in the poem, try to see if u could see wat the secret is? ^_^

Dedicated to her.....

As the winds cascades past my face,

Deep within me a lonely soul raced.

Each and everyone of my senses moved,

Love have just descended upon the truth.

I have never known it could be so strong,

Never have i felt these strands of longing,

Every now and then, drawing me to you.

so did u find the secret? hahasss.. its quite simple actually, its dedicated to her. :P

i recently stopped playing dota everyday, mostly because i wasnt as interested in dota as toking to her. toking to her can make me quit dota, tat's cfm. I didnt even play my PS2 now sia, everyday just listen to songs, lie down and slack or box a few rounds... maybe games dun realli interest me tat much le, im much much more interested in FINAL FANTASY, if u kw who i meant. hahass....

but im never a person to harbour much hope, because the higher the hope, the harder u shall fall when it fails u. I've learnt it the hard way thanks to corinne, and i wont let history repeat itself again. When a guy loves a gal too much, its always catastrophe tat happens in the end... noone should loves a person too much, because over-loving onli makes the hearts bond too tight together to beat normally.... i have a tenancy to do just tat, i kw it hence im trying to prevent myself from being too good too her, because in the end, im just a guy tat is afraid of being hurt again... is she the one? will she change me? can she heal the scar in my heart?

Is She My Yuna/Rikku/Rinoa? <----( whichever she prefers.. :P).......

Hmm, sometimes, im realli not certain about the stage of maturity im at man... sometimes i seem so mature, yet sometimes i seem so childish... wat is the determinant factor for maturity? i realli am clueless to who im realli am... am i having split personality? omg... but i realli do have to do a status check man.. i dun kw y suddenly i have these kind of thoughts, but i guess i do have to reduce my fun loving side abit... im a tit bit TOO fun loving.... hahasss...

i have 2 faces actually.. haass.. when im with a grp of ppl, i tend to come across as a childish and fun loving guy, but when im with a girl alone, im a totally diffrent person.. hahass.. but girls always tend to miss out the second part of me because they deduce im a childish guy from first impression... lolx...

watever bahs.. im typing tis cause i suddenly have a urge to write down something. hehess.. ciaoz...

hmm, ytd i was so damn pissed.. lolx.. for something realli childish lah.. but seriously, i realli cannot fall for a girl. I will start to tink alot about her, then will result in my tinking too much.. = ="" i suspected my frend of backstabbing me sia... though i dun kw whether he got do it anot lah, but i tink he wont lah, he's a nice guy... lolx.. then ytd i just get REALLI pissed for the whole nite man, i cant even sleep.. im like --> wat the fark???!!? hahass.. well, i got over it after tinking awhile le... i mean, come on lor, so wat if he toks to her on msn everynite man? they're good frends mah, EVEN if she in the end likes him, tat's HER choice mah, everybody have freedom to choose one. So in the end, i learnt tat im just a sadistic pessimist.. = ="".. lolx.. u nvr know how much u can learn about urself whenever u do some self assessment.. ^_-...

so we come back all the way to the girl issue (yet again...zz).. lolx.. tis time, the girl is adeline.. = ="" starting i didnt realli notice her much, except tat she looks like my first love.. hahass.. but never did i kw as time passes..( 2 weeks in fact.. lolx) , i actually began to fell for her.. :P... maybe its the resemblence? anyways, i tried to sms her abit, but she didnt reply sia... but whenever we're face to face toking, she always seem so warm... hmm... i dun kw wat is wrong here, but im not going to dig out the details.. i rather let nature take it's own course ba.. so im not pushing anything from now on, we are working different shifts nxt week, so tat means i have a week to tink over wat i want. ^_^ V

But i tink from now on, i try to tok less and be less 'sunshine' in office ba. I should be a bit calmer.. lolx.. :P... so late le, i go sleep le ba, cheers for my growing up after tis incident and CIAOZZZ!!! *.*

Girls LOVE tis type???!!

The typical Bad Boy:
1) is cocky, arrogant
2)always puts himself first
3) is inattentive to a woman's needs
4) does what he wants when he wants to do it, regardless of what anyone else thinks
5) acts like a loose cannon
6) struts his masculine sexuality
7) isn't even remotely a "nice" guy
8) treats women badly
9) often uses women for sex

The Bad Boy exudes untamed masculinity, independence and confidence. To women, these traits -- especially confidence -- are an aphrodisiac. The problem is, in the hands of the Bad Boy, confidence becomes selfish arrogance. But women are responding to guys like this on a purely elemental, emotional level.
Just as men are turned on by a woman's femininity, so too do women respond to overt male masculinity -- and the Bad Boy has it in buckets. What's going on here is that she's having a gut reaction to his confidence and male strength, and is blind to anything else.


Dial up the independenceAct as if you couldn't possibly care less about getting women. Never change who you are to please a woman or in the hope that you'll get her into bed. Get involved in your own life and your own interests. Make plenty of time for male stuff. Your attitude should be: "This is who I am -- if you like it, fine; if you don't, leave."
Don't show emotionsBe indifferent and don't show you care. You should have a poker face at all times. Remain mysterious and don't let women know what you're thinking. Keep them guessing.
Furthermore, ration your words and make sure everything you say has a purpose. Don't volunteer information. Simply answer a question if asked.
Put the kibosh on crapRefuse to tolerate any female BS. When she tries to test you, don't give in -- tell her to grow up. Don't be afraid to say "no." Stand your ground, or simply walk away from a situation.
Get her off the pedestal. Run the relationship by your rules, not hers. If you don't agree with her, say so -- don't be a doormat in the hope of getting laid. And if she doesn't like it, show her the door.
Light your fireBad Boys are all about sexual confidence, and women appreciate confident lovers. So don't be afraid to let your natural masculine sexuality shine. This doesn't mean you should go around leering at female chests all day, but you should be comfortable and confident about letting a woman know you're attracted to her without becoming a pawing jerk. And when you do step up to the plate, make sure you know what you're doing in the bedroom.
Make yourself scarceFor women, guys who are too available are boring. Bad Boys are selfishly independent -- they aren't desperately hanging around women, hoping to get tossed a few scraps of attention.
Women always want what they can't have, so make yourself busy and scarce. Be a mystery man. Be unpredictable. Be a challenge -- let her do some work to get you.
Turn on the confidenceBad Boys always assume that women want them -- insecurity has no place in their personal vocabularies. This is the exact opposite of the usual male desperation. So your attitude should be that you're the catch, not that women are doing you a favor by talking to you.
You can't afford to be too nice -- catering to women, agreeing with every word they utter, paying for female attention (all things Bad Boys don't do) -- because women see this as "weak" and wimpy.
Be decisive and don't hesitate when talking. Don't second-guess yourself after you've made a decision. Voice your opinion and don't worry about offending others.
bad boys, bad boys


(Extracted from askmen.com)

Hmm, should i be a good 'bad boy' ? LOLX.. :P

Sunday. Tomolo im working in the afternoon, so i can sleep abit later.. hahasss... Yesterday went to Club MOMO to have fun. Which in fact we didnt realli get alot of fun.. = ="" But okay lah, at least i got to kw a new guy called vincent. lolx... another lame guy. The music at MOMO is realli different from those past tehcno clubs we went to.. hahasss, ah wei and me actually was quite out of place there cause we are more towards techno... :P. I wasnt tinking of going down actually, cause ah wei actually had a change of plans. But in the end, lets just say i managed to persuade them to tag along with me.. hahasss...

Hmm, life is quite okay nowadays, though im still quite poor. hahass.... I went to SIM yesterday afternoon to register for business management course. There was like tons and tons of babes there man... lols? But in the midst of doing all these things in my life, i realised one veri important thing... im still single.. = ="" hahassss, people always say being single saves u alot of money, but y am i still so poor after being single for so long? hmm, food for thought.... :P

The day before, i bought a green and blue striped polo from bossini. I sort of like the colour combi so i bought it on the spot. Nowadays my fashion fetish is polo t-shirts, ESPECIALLY abercrombie ones... omg, i realli realli want a few of those.. o_O...

Tomolo im going to wake up earlier to practice my moves abit, i realli hope that stupid bag wont go flying again...(most importantly, i MUST be able to wake up... hopefully....:P)

Todae i finally fixed up my punching bag again. Im going to start boxing once again. Im currently working in starhub now because i was sacked by the eyerelax new manager arthur. i sincerely hope arthur gets run over by a car one day, he dun die also useless. He sacked me because i was too verbal, everyone is afraid of him but im not. He issued a lot of silly rules like commission is onli payable if u sell 25 units per mth. wtf? he's completely stupid and senile, an old fart tat has nothing better to do. Watever the case, its still thks to him tat i got out of energie eyecare and went on to find a job with starhub.

I was quite impressed with the working atmosphere in starhub. its realli friendly and people there are so warm. I got to know a girl there called adeline, she looks REALLI like huimin sia.. hahass...(huimin's my first love) But she's veri fiesty and veri unlady-like....reminds me of the sassy girl... = ="" But watever lah, hahas, she's just a frend after i analyse my feelings. So now im kinda looking out for a good girl to come along ba. I dun care who she is, where she's from, as long as she's worth it can le. :P

Todae i got my final pay from energie eyecare le... 196 nia.. = = ccb.. so little... then i went to bought a polo shirt that is size M.... i too fat, cannot wear... zzz im tinking of changing the size tomolo sia.. lolx

Lost my shaver todae, damn sianz... my stubble have overgrown le, now damn itchy, i need a shaver, then i realised i lost it.. = ="" i look like a convict sia, although look veri manly, but its realli damn itchy... Tomorrow i need to go town, so i definitely need to shave. This few days abit boring, nothing much happen. I finished my stint as a promoter for eyerelax last week, now im a customer service executive in the office, but they havent told me when to start work man.. i tink most probably is nxt monday ba... hahass.. i was surfing thru frendster when i found this veri interesting equation.. lolx...

By right: NO STUDY = FAIL , STUDY = NO FAIL .
Which means: NO STUDY + STUDY = FAIL + NO FAIL .
Then: (NO+1)STUDY = (NO+1)FAIL
Therefore: Cancelling (No+1) from each side, we get -----> STUDY = FAIL!!!


LOLx... so funny sia.. hahass.. The equation actually further proves tat nothing in this world is absolute. It enforces the Chaos Theory's fundamentals. There is Order in Chaos and there is Chaos in Order. Come to tink of it, it actually links into the Theory of Relativity by Einstein. lolx... Nothing is relative yet at the same time, everything is relative... hmm... i tink it also branches into human psychology and emotionalogy too. hahasss... watever ba, im actually veri interested in Physics since i was young, i came out with a few theories of my own when i was in secondary school.. :P... But i cant take physics in university sia.. sad man. Hmm, gtg sleep le.. nitez...

Yesterday's interview was fast and quick. hehe... i sort of rejected the job ba... they wanted someone with a passion in designing machine parts, which i dun have, hence i told them my interest was in sales. ^_^... i can lie to them, but i choose not to, im a honest man. My family's pressuring me to find a job, but these things cant be rushed, its my future and my career. Im formulating a business plan now... hmm... working with a tight budget is realli difficult, but im starting to get a rough picture already, i guess i need around 5k initial capital... Im currently doing some research on how to go about setting up a business in singapore. hehesss...

Im saving some money so that i can go to hong kong for a holiday cum product hunting trip. i will need around 1.5k... haiz... money is always hard to come by man... why cant i be born into a rich family? lolx.... serene's birthday is also around the corner somewhere in febuary, which means i need money AGAIN.. haiz... what the hell man, money realli spins the world. = =""

I've decided to further my studies after considering for like a month? hahasss... i've applied for a few courses in NTU alreadi, but i tink my chances of getting in is next to nothing man.. i have like... 2 As , 4 Bs , 9 Cs and 19 Ds..... wat the fark man? lolx... if i realli get in, i will swallow my monitor on the spot. :P hahahasss.... But i do have a back up plan, which is in the VERI possible case of me not getting into NTU, i shall apply for either SIM or other private universities... haiz...when a man is stupid, he cant realli have a choice do he? lolx...

I tink im going back to work at eyerelax man... haiz... its kinda sad, but since im furthering my studies, i cant find a perm job now, so i have to settle with a temp job. haiz...