She's angry. veri angry. Although it seems she's angry over something silly and small, but she have been ignoring me for the past 2 days. I realli feel miserable, yet i kw its not simply because of wat i said. It has been too one-sided right from the start, i got to kw yet another fault in my personality. Ironically it was told to me by someone else rather then tinking about it myself.
I guess in the end, u cant realli see wat's wrong with urself. There's y we need frends, they're there to pinpoint and tell u where u erred.

Sometimes i tink i whine too much, and didnt realli made effort to correct wat is wrong. I onli kw how to be sweet and stuffs and say honeyed words, yet all these are just superficial stuffs. As a guy, one should not whine, a guy needs to kw wat he wants, and then carry on with life with a goal in life. Yes, i do agree people need to whine sometimes, yet how many realli do something about the problem? Problems need solution, and whining is not a solution. I whine tat i dun do same shifts with her, i whine tat she dun appreciate me, i whine tat i did tis and that sweet things and yet there's no return. But did i realised tat i did all those with a motive in mind? I just want her to be mine, and tat's being selfish, realli selfish. What about her feelings? ever considered her feelings? I didnt.

Although i still dun kw the real reason why she's so angry, maybe its realli because of the small thing tat i said earlier. But tis incident exposed another critical error in me which i have to change. Im just not prepared yet. I still have 1 mth to prepare myself, not to try to make her mine, (im just not ready for her now) but to change myself for the better.

And my mind and soul just received a new experience 2 days ago. When u tried to apologise to
someone infront of the lift infront of so many people, she simply told u 'i just cant be bothered'
and walked away ignoring u. Tat feeling carries an indescribable grieve and guilt. I did something tat is past redemption and apology. U just wanna die on the spot, and my heart just bled, it realli bled. Till now, it continues to bleed from the wound.
And on the way home, she toked to sebastian thruout the journey on the bus, she continued to ignore me and i was just behind her, she kws im looking at her, yet she continues to ignore me.
I realli dun kw wat i did so seriously wrong, I realli feel miserable and guilty. The feeling is worse
when tat person is someone u like. Its tat kind of u-wanna-cry-yet-u-cant-cry feeling. Do u understand?