Suicidal Peeps!

People around me are suicidal, and ah wei just told me his lesbian fren is uncontactable for 2 days in a row and the last time she was on msn, her nick was " Why didnt i die?". Ah wei was wondering what happened, and im kinda raw on this kinda stuff, because i have never handled a missing lesbian case. hmms.

I told ah wei to maybe go check it out from the gal that caused her all this misery, maybe she will kw. And ah wei was commenting to me nowadays, even gals hurt gals. Ironic hor? It seems in watever relationship, whether straight or crooked, peeps seems to be hurting peeps. And then comes the big question--> why?

I dun have an answer for that, but as for myself, i would rather be the one being hurt then the one hurting people. I will never do stewpid stuffs and ditch my gal, tat is for sure, the only ditching that will occur is when my gal ditch me. hahahass!

Okays, back on a serious note, i've came to an understanding about something, and im adopting eugene's mentality. Got means its a blessing, dun have also dun need to brood on it too much, anyways if its worth it, u will continue waiting passively. Notice i say passively, because if u're too active, u will become a pain in the ass. Noone wanna be a pain in the ass, trust me, i had experience with a few, and i screwed the fuck out of them.

Okies, todae as usaul, im a veri happy man. im mostly happy nowadays lah, cause there's something that makes me happy. Its obvious, people can see, and so i take it that the subject should kw ba. Happy is copied all over my personal dictionary now, but being happy is not enough, i wanna be blessed. Yeah, blessed, if u get the link with the paragraph above. hahahas

Enough nonsense, back to daily life. RT is working wonders, todae took ippt, and my running 2.4 improved by 2 mins, sit-up became 5 points, shuttle run became 5 points. The rest all failed, but pull up improved by 1. Might not sound much i know, but in just 2 weeks, its alot. I feel myself getting fitter and fitter. Wootz!

I like my new hairstyle, firstly because its cooling, and secondly because its neat and hassle-free, dun need to style the stupid hair for too long. Long hair is a hindrance to training too. heh. Tomolo morning im gonna go gym! Its time to do abit of work on my own, cannot keep depend on RT, RT is ending in 2 weeks time, so after that i have to persevere on my own. wow.

The time has come for me to be completely honest, whoever ask me watever questions, im not gonna evade and change topic le. Ask me, and i shall tell u the truth, nothing but the truth. Saw botak on the mrt todae, and as usaul, he's still the old botak.

Lets tok abit about botak shall we? Botak is a nonsense spouting poly fren of mine, who likes to tok lots of rubbish and nonsense, yet a fun person to be with. He's mouth is always full of insults and grumbles, yet deep inside he's a nice person lah. He always like to nag and scold stuart, and in the past stuart was labelled as the weak one in our group, second the kai cheong, the legendary 'weak one'. hahahass

But there's one thing i dun realli approve of botak, he simply likes to slack, dun bother to upgrade himself at all. The rest of our poly group didnt study much during poly, and we played our time away, yet now we all grew up and matured. Those studying, are working hard to get good grades, and those working are working their ass off to climb the ladder. And botak is slacking at home a few mth ago, currently he's working as some kinda part time slacker. Haiz.

Sad botak. I do wish he can get his mentality up to speed like the rest of us, he's still like a kid. Dude, if u are reading this, pls, im not dissing u man, i just want u to grow up into good men like KC, Wong, Kaicheong, stuart and me. U cant simply slack ur life away as an odd job worker man.

For a finale, i shall paste the lyrics of a song that rei recommended to me here. Its meaningful and has a deeper meaning to it, okay i just repeated myself. hahaass, watever man. So here we go:

"Angels Or Devils"
By Dishwalla

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna come here tonight
this is the last time - I will fall
into a place that fails us all - inside

I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
but fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down
come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna give in tonight
are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see

still I can see the pain in you
and I can see the love in you
and fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down - come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us

if I was to give in - give it up
- and then
take a breath - make it deep
cause it might be the last one you get
be the last one
that could make us cold
you know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

Jason's : Im kinda numb by reality, so i gonna need a alternate universe soon.