Suicidal Choices

Todae i went honest, and finally broke the mystery and the news. Its been brewing for 1 yr plus, and when finally i told everybody, its so swuang. hahahass. And the feedback i got was my choice was suicidal. lolx.

Suicidal, i might be, but i just dun care man, i follow what my heart and instinct tells me. As usual, i expected lots of negative stuffs from everyone, but i kw deep inside, that if i dun even at least gave it a go, i will regret it for my entire life. Its just a thin line between bravery and foolishness, and i chose to believe that i am brave rather then dumb. yeah.

Im not the best man on the list, neither do i even presume im on the list. hahass. Im not big-headed to THAT extend. lolx. Im taking it easy this time around, i perceive myself as having next to no chance, so my hopes aint that high although i keep irritating those 2 people that kws this secret until they buay tahan and keep bursting my bubbles. :p

And therefore i once more say this again, my blog is open and without much restrictions, up to this point in time, those people that should kw have alreadi knew, and those that still dun kw will kw after this entry, provided they read my blog lah. Its too bloody obvious. hahahass.

Enough bout zharbo, as i said in the last entry, my fitness have improved alot, and i also see myself fitting better into my old clothes, todae i wore my sweater, that has been too small for me for the past 3 yrs, and its a good fit, though can still see my fats hanging around. opps.

I am slowly evolving yet again, as usual. Though i dun kw what kinda form i will change into, i highly suspect i will be still round and fat. hahahas! Fat or slim i dun care anymore ba, i just wanna pass my ippt. RT gave me a head start towards passing my ippt, giving me 5 points in 2 stations, and the rest of the stations most prob after training relaxingly for 2 months, i should be able to get 5 points as well.

I foresee myself running into financial trouble for my last 2 semester fees, so i most prob will be taking out a study loan soon. Something happened in my family, and im abit troubled by it, nonetheless, im old enough to understand the need to be independent.

I hope nicholas will strike lottery, i realli realli he will strike lottery. The reason i will not say, but if he strikes lottery, then lets just say i will be the happiest man in the world. hahahasss!

Jason's : Any guy in the world could do what i do, yet could any guy in the world feel what i feel?