Powers!

Todae accts exam. No stunts this time, relatively easy but thanks to farktart me, i tink im failing tis one. zzz.... let me tell u why, i nearly didnt went for the exams todae because i remembered someone telling me accts is on tuesday.... kaoz, heng ytd midnite i SUDDENLY wanted to see the exam timetable, maybe its my spider-sense or my extrasensory-perception at work ba. lolx. Anyways thanks to watever caused me to check, i went for todae's exams with juz 3 hrs preparation. Knn i didnt study for accts fully lors, i tot still got 1 more day to choing mah.... zzzz

This few days have been downloading movies to watch, i watched LONG HU MEN, SHINOBI, WO HU le, all dvd quality ones... wootz... lolx... and now i have THE HILLS HAVE EYES, and POPULATION 143 and RE-CYCLE to watch. muahaha........piracy is fun! Anyways my fren and i had tis beri intellectual conversation tat day regarding piracy and ethics and everything, in the end we came to tis conclusion --> piracy is a reaction move to counter the ever-rising price of stuffs. The companies and other entities are fleecing consumers more and more, i understand they say tat costs are rising on production and stuffs, but come on, who sets the benchmarks? They themselves set the benchmarks. so in the end, they are unreliable sources of benchmarking. And since the masses have no way out, they resort to piracy. If they reduce the price of original stuffs, who wouldnt buy them? Its because their greed prevents them from reducing the price and its a cheaper alternative to launch anit-piracy campaigns as compared to harming their profits. hmms.... at least that's the outcome from the discussion. Maybe we should analyse tis perspective again ba. lolx.

Ya, as i was saying, i keep going to macdonalds near my house to study with stuart sia. lolx, i didnt realli know tat we will click well because last time in poly i used to condemn him. hahasss, i still remembered when we went to gym with ah wong last time, stuart always complain about tired and he couldnt even lift 5kg.... -.-""" gosh.... but now he's running alot le, so in short he is fitter then me, im a fat fark. zzzz... But anyways, we click quite well, and we always discuss intellectual stuffs that most other guys dun discuss de. Sometimes we do tok about gals, but i always try to change the subject or remind him tat i dun wanna tok bout gals. What for tok so much about something u dun have? And when i tok, i tink, i dun wanna tink about other gals, 1 is enough. Just 1, no more. ^_^

And let me tok abit about the 1 and onli can? hahass, todae when i was going home, i saw a adeline look alike on the bus. kaoz, super look like her lors, from all angles also look like her, but is younger version lah, around 17-18 yr old ba. then on the same bus at the traffic light, a boon lay garden school bus with the logo stopped beside my bus. Gosh... boon lay garden instantly reminded me of huimin... lolx.. i remebered i even went back on teacher's day with her to her primary skool when we were sec 3... hahass... the good old days.... kks, enough, if not peter will say i keep tok about love le. hahass.. :P

And to end this long entry, i smashed my knuckle ytd -.-... nb i was walking pass my sandbag, so i casually threw a few straights, but i sort of got over enthu and smashed the side of my knucle against the bag.... knn i jittao high and my hand instantly orh-chean lor.... so pain sia, now i cannot punch, if not hand will pain.. zzz... need at least 1 week to recuperate ba... haiz..... sad....

Jason's Famous Quotes: The person u hate most might actually be your life partner next time...

Did You Know? : My ancestors was traditional chinese physicians.... 0.O

Jasonisitivity

Todae was OB exam. I tink i most prob failed it. The format was entirely not the same, and im supposed to be veri prepared for it, because i did put in effort to study. Yet once i entered the exam hall, my brain seem empty and i cant realli tink of watever i have remembered. And the most surprising thing is the questions are totally different from all the past year questions. Moral of the story, someone pulled a stunt on us. All of my frens cannot cope with the paper, not even one told me he/she is confident of securing a distinction, much less a high distinction. Why? OB is supposed to be my most passionate module this semester and im supposed to get a high distinction for every module. I once told her that i will strive to get high distinction for all my modules and get a degree with a high distinction, but it seems my abilities arent proving my promises. Disappointment always visits at the strangest times, and its like deep into the night le... -.-""

Tomolo need to study accounts le, i realli hope for my other paper, i can do well.... i realli dun wanna default on my promise....

Alrite, this few nites, beetles or some sort of unknown bugs have been flying into my room. They are big, hard and can fly at amazing speeds. Totally irritating. I can bear to kill them by smashing them, cause its beri gross, so in the end, i used a zip lock bag to catch them all, gotta catch them all! ( pokemon anyone? -.-"") right now i have a proud collection of 4 in my bag within 2 nites, and they are still alive and kicking.... gosh, they are hardy creatures ya?

How many of u imagine and fantasize and reflect? Do u tink about the day's event and recap the happenings like a recorder and start to analyse ur own behaviour patterns and reflect on them? Sometimes mentally im like a pool of stagnant water, and that is the perceived equilibrium that i always seek. With nothing mentally, no mental burden, no complex psychological issues, life is so much simpler. Some people managed to maintain and lead a life without any worries, but those people are much more naive. i guess its a fair deal, u earn social and life experience then u trade off ur simplicity and pureness of heart. Its a matter of survival in the world after all, a simple and pure heart wont get u anywhere, deceit and hypocriptical guides and leads u to your specific desires. OMG, OB again... fark... zzz, y am i so flooded with OB man, fark lah....zzzzz

Not in a good mood to blog, so shall stop here. Wish me luck for the remaining exams.

Jason's Famous Quotes: Promises are NOT meant to be broken. (I erred, so im trying not to break one again... sorri bro, im still guilty for tat event.)

Did You Know?: I have a pepper lunch coupon valid until 10th december 2006...

Screwed

Just reached home from school. Todae was accts revision lesson and its sort of boring, because balwant onli went thru a few questions then proceed to have consultation session. hmms.... After tat, went to study with alina and elissa. Halfway thru our studies in the study room, there was tis malay guy that tinks he is the boss and storms out of the room claiming we were noisy. -.-" I do admit initially ben was abit noisy lah, so ben went to apologise to that guy, he gave attitude to ben and when told me i was veri buay song alreadi. Ben was saying 'if last time me, i will hit him alreadi', and mentally im like 'haiz... dun so kiddish leh... -.-""'...

Then the storming off came when ppl left and entered the room, so there was a commotion mah, not our fault le lors. And ben was pissed, so he shouted a 'fuck off' when the pig left the room, after 10 secs, he came back in asking who said tat phrase. I was staring at the pig in the eye because i alreadi hot le, was expecting ben to own up and if a fight ensues, i will step in lor. But to my disappointment, ben kept quiet and looked down on the floor.... gosh... If u said something, u should own up mah, i kw he dun want trouble, but own up lah, dun diam diam sit there like a pigeon mah. I believe in being responsible for what u did and said, if its me, i cfm stand up admit de lor.... -.-""

Anyways, that pig went to complain to the librarian, and when the librarian came up to scold us, one of the guys (i dun kw him) retorted and scolded the librarian for not getting her facts rite and started scolding us. lolx.. damn funny, then people started joining in also telling her the problem dun lie with the people in the room, its tat pig, he's level of tolerance is too low le. hahasss... damn funny.. but i choose to keep my mouth shut thruout the ordeal, because i kw, once i speak, colourful words will come out. So ya, i also became sensitive to people and didnt say anything at all while at the same time analysing the situation.

Hmms, it seems the self-correction is taking effect le, i realli can start to tink in other's shoes. The librarian also quite sad lors, she's onli doing her job and tis is the treatment she got. But it all boils down to the pig lah, if he cannot stand the noise, then go toilet cubicle study lah, there confirm silent one, unless got occasional 'PUUUT!' or maybe a satisfactory 'AAAAHHHH~~~~!!!!'... hahass.....!

I was so amused by the incident that i sort of smiled to myself like a sick bastard while i was staring and studying my OB lors... lolx, why is it so funny rite? simply put, my brain is using OB to analyse that pig's behaviour lors~~ hahass.. ge funny.. ~~~ ( we sort of endangered tat pig's safety needs, so tat will lead to jeopadizing his self-actualization needs and when he left and came back, he wanted to fulfill his esteem needs... LOLX)

Okay, screw him, lets get back to life, exams is onli a few days away, and i havent finish revision or should i say, i havent started on stats and BC yet... fark lah... die le lah....... i kw i wont fail the exams, but i wanna get a HD leh. I gotta put more effort if i wanna get HD ba, i promised her tat i will get HD for all my grades, so i must do it no matter wat. Promises are meant to be kept, and i totally intend to keep these.


Jason's Famous Quotes: Humans like to assume split identities.

Did You Know?: The haze makes people dumber.

Complacense

I have wasted a week. Sad to say its true. a week of my life is spent gaming and not studyin when i should. haiz, ytd go out until super late also. hahasss... But i feel sort of guilty, yet i did wat i did because its ethnical. gosh. Its about sean, eh bro, if u're reading tis, sorri for not making it for ur grandma's funeral ya? im going to a fren's birthday at nite so i cant go to a funeral then go ppl's bday, hope u understand bro. Chill man, dun tink too much yeah?

Anyways, b4 heading over to jean's bday, went back to NPS to see how's the Family Concert getting along. Saw the usaul suspects ah kuang and zhaorong there, and james was there again. lolx. The dumb guy that bought APOLLO CAKEs for our concert 4 yrs ago as refreshments. LOLX.... recalling it makes go gaga, lolx.. still remember jiayan's astonish face when tat fruitcake reported back with 2 bags of APOLLO! LOLX.... Where got ppl so stewpid one? hahass... was recounting the incident with zhaorong ytd at the concert and we laughed like crazy. hahasss...
But the sad thing is most of the alumnis didnt realli came back to the club. haiz... time realli tears people apart. The times with ah pin and the guys, strumming and singing as a group realli brings back memories...Even the period where we were illegally in the music room staying overnight, the horrible nite that all of us were bunched together and not making a sound because EVERYONE of us felt and saw the 'lady in white'.... Fark man, tinking about it sends shivers down my spine especially since im typing tis entry in the middle of the nite. We didnt sleep tat nite, waited for the sun to rise and that sort of took eternity, even going to urine also dun dare... kaoz...

okay, back to the concert, i feel that the standard is not there anymore. haiz... during my time there was still some standard to the pieces and the our techniques and style were also prim and proper, but nowsdays i sort of see alot of slack. Nevertheless, the freshies and the members did their best and i did see some hard work. Good job guys and gals, but the next coming battle is Virturso, i hope the standard is higher, cause Virturso is a formal concert, not like family concert which is informal.

Halfway thru the concert, i gotta run cause im rushing to jean's bday, and when i reach pasir ris park, i farking hell step into a mud pile. knn luckily im wearing flip flops but the mud flooded my jeans and foot, i hate that kind of nua nua squishy feeling. So in the end, i lan lan went to toilet to wash up lor. Then finally went to the BBQ and eat some beehoon then stand around see the guys do funny stuffs. As usaul, alot of ppl were looking at rei , i was sort of people-watching and stoning around therefore casually noticed the glances. lolx, standard ba, rei is yandao and he's a good person, at least better then me tat is. hahasss. ^_^ Then after that, we went out in 3 cars and did some late nite activity. Visit a multiracial temple, haunted places, see bapo and geylang-rians, and finally eat tau hui. Fleeting glances and distain mixed with curiosity. So i reached home at around 5am. Once i woke up i played game again. lolx.. bad student. :P

Tomolo MOST PROB will do some running and maybe a round or 2 of shadow-boxing ba, if im in the mood maybe even heavy bag training? lolx... but i tink the highest possiblity is me slacking off the day AGAIN. grrr... i have a deadline to meet and here i am, slacking like mad. Cannot be complacent le ba, i onli have 111 days left. kks, must persevere! GRRRAH!


Jason's Fabulous Quotes: A change of pace in life will yield both detrimental and incremental behaviours.

(NEW!) Did you kw? : Ramli burgers supposingly funds a cult. O_o

Irony

I feel so misunderstood sometimes. Human beings like to jump to conclusions. That is confirmed. Why judge a person so quickly? How deep do u kw that person? Im not trying to hit back or anything, ask urself deep inside, are u superficial? I know i am, sad to say, im among the most superficial among homosapiens. But i know that, and i try to know more about ppl i have a prejudice against, because that is the onli way to overcome stereotypical opinions. Anyways i totally understand some ppl will tink otherwise and think im spouting nonsense again. hahasss, well, my mentality is still beri simple. I am wat i am, and this is my blog. i write what i want and i am what i am. Yes i can change, yes i am changing, but within my soul there is still integrity. Im not a plasticine, i cannot be moulded to suit every single person and i wont. So understand that, and when reading my blog, keep a open mind. Whats the use if u read wat i write, and feel offended and u keep coming back to read and make urself more and more tulanz?

Hao le, the above is food for thoughts, and please dun say i kw gals. i dun kw them at all. if i kw gals that well, why am i still single? Its obvious rite? I dun tink i kw gals well and i certainly dun. Each and every person is different, and everybody went through different upbringing and hence have differing cultures. What is acceptable to someone may not be so for another person. Okays, enough blabbering le. Im tired of typing le. ^_^

Kks, todae went back to skool to finish and hand up my database assignment. Im a last minute man, and therefore, i do things last min. hahasss :P Then at around 6, i took a bus home, and once i reached home, play game! wee you wee! But gaming is starting to get boring le, haiz, i guess things do get boring sometimes ba. But i play play play hor, then lost track of time. Was supposed to go the sean's grandma funeral at 9pm de, then i forgot.. -.-"" But chill, called sean and told him i will b going down tml afternoon. So tomolo will be leaving house at around 3pm ba. Its at woodlands lor.... abit far sia. hahasss.... Then after that will be going back to NP to show face for family concert, then at around 730pm, most prob will leave for jean's bday at pasir ris. lolx. LONG LONG LONG day tomolo, hopefully im still alive by then. wootz. relax.


Jason's Famous Quotes: Time always compels.

Politics!

Hmms, im veri happi, alot of ppl tagging in my board. muahaha! Aiyah, its juz a story mah, lolx, im sooo into story telling rite? hahass. not funny. sua. -.-"" Alrite, if dun blog about love hor, ehs... blog about philosophy want? Anyways i not realli blogging about love mah, its not like im writing which gal i am into rite now and stuff lors, its juz emotional-philosophy lah. But hor, i tink for tis entry i make it more... global ba.

North korea, a country that is virtually a hidden entity in the current modern global village. Its still practicing 'extreme' communism and has a silly looking farktart for a leader. lolx. we have to agree kim-jung-wat-the-fark looks a little nerdy. hahass... anyways, they are currently luring the world to wage war on them by running a second nuclear test. Sometimes it just makes me wonder how silly can they be? Trying to reinforce their ego by doing things that is completely senseless. Why the hell would u wanna incur the wrath of the entire world and expect to survive?

From a economic point of view, north korea is trying to force the US to agree to its demands and give economic aid to help the country. But the fools also should understand, that what happened in iraq can happen in north korea. Well , coming to tink of it, its a totally different context. lolx... contradictory rite? North korea, being a asian country certainly have alot of differences from iraq, and as a side note, we need to understand tat iraq belongs to a specific ethnic group. Hitting on iraq has benefits, while hitting on north korea does not have any benefits, and as we kw, the US always consider gains above anything else. As we can see, hitting on iraq gave the US a hold on the middle eastern oil monopoly.

Coming back to north korea, we understand that the south koreans do harbour a hatred for the US and they consider north korea as a brother although they have a long running war between them. Some south koreans even have relatives over on the northern border, and hence, waging war on them will eventually result in dead relatives. lolx.

So the question now is = will the US attack north korea?
Answer: currently NO. because US have just ended the iraq war, and is preoccupied with the war on terrorism, so resources and manpower wise, they are spread quite thinly. Even if they are realli bent on waging war, they need allies from south-east asian area.

Okay, i kw the above is abit boring, but can lah, that should suffice for now, i can write a entire thesis on the above topic and blabber on and on. But im not going there, cause too long, im dying to sleep anyways. hahass. And one thing about the previous quote, im not a male chauvinist pig, i saw ppl saw tat phrase in a drama, and so i put lor. Its just food for thought, not realli my thoughts. hahass.
(P.S. If its realli true, then i should have melted someone by now....)


Jason's Famous Quotes: Noone totally understands him/herself.

心 雨

Things always come a full circle. And its quite funny sometimes. Let me quote an example, what if there was this person that is changing and waiting for another person, yet the other person, is changing and waiting for another person? hahass... complex rite? actually there's onli 3 person in the loop, and the first person, is realli trying beri hard to change to wat the second person wants, yet the discovery that the second person is changing for a unknown third person sorts of surprised the first person. The first person came to the above conclusion from some unrealible source, maybe its just a song lyric, yet after attempting to decipher what song the lyrics belongs to, the person cant find it. Which means for a veri rare period of time, the second person has shown her thoughts. Is the first person jumping to conclusion? over-sensitive?

Well, lets try to give my example some names. hmms. lets name them A, B and C respectively.
But C is redundant anyways, cause my story revolves around A and B mostly. hahass..
Its sort of sad for A, cause A didnt tell B tat he/she is changing for B, and B wont find out until a specific date. But B is changing for C though, but B understands that its too late now that he/she have changed for C alreadi. So in the end, wat is the answer or outcome of this complex changing and waiting game? And will B ever forgive A and try to give A a chance? Will the rain in A's heart ever touch B?

Hahass, alrite le, enough of complicated examples. kks, todae was a normal day as usaul, started my revision finally. hahass.. 3 chapters of OB... i tink tat should suffice for todae ba, tml need to rush the BC access assignment, so hopefully can finish by tml. ^_^

And ytd i went tanning rite? i tink i over tanned my neck and now its red and itchy... sianz... cannot scratch too much, if not veri ugly... but realli veri itchy mah... sianz... farked up one lah. Maybe im allergic to sunlight? hmms.. cannot be leh.... nah, sua, dun care. by tml will be okay le ba. heehee.


Jason's Famous Quotes: Girls are like ice-cubes, no matter how hard, they will still melt one day.

Monotonotivity

Went swimming and tanning todae. Realised different perspectives yields different reactions. Will let time tell.

Todae's swim and tan was a timely one. Had some time underwater to think again. hahas... water seems to calm my mind and give me alot of space to reflect. The vastness of the pool eventually seems to make my tots bounce around the pool and come back to me. okay. tat description sux. lolx.. kks, so todae went swimming with stuart, and he told me he got kidney stones..-.-....seriously.... he's abit worried lor i can see, but wat to do? i can onli advice and console. hopefully it helps ba.

After tat, we both went to drink papaya milkshake at the hawker centre nearby cause stuart says its good for shitting... -.-"" my frens can be so lame sometimes ya? hahass... Rite now, im downloading the game 'romance of three kingdoms 10' now, and the news reported some ppl were caught downloading music from the net todae. hmms... game is not music, so i wont be caught rite? rite? ya. rite. :P

The haze. i hate it. it made alot of ppl sick and tat is totally fucked up. I dun tink i can write any evil comments on the country tat made the haze here, cause i will go inside sit. so i shall subtly say tat the country is dumb can le. k, end of story. Actually hor, i sort of wanna redye my hair leh, cause the colour is growing out le. hmms... wat colour should i make it leh? hmmm.... gold? nah tat one too ah beng... purple? dun ba, like dog like tat.... red fades beri fast also... haiz... i tink copper brown is still the best for me ba.. lolx...


Jason's Famous Quotes: The world does not need anybody to spin.

Reminisence

Hmms, yesterday went back to NPS for the camp. Corinne was late, so i went in myself first, and i called ah kuang, he told me to help out as a game com... -.-"" My mind goes: ' im a alumni and i came back to catch up with the other alumnis, and nw u call me do sai kang?' . LOLx, but anyways, i helped out cause ah kuang is my best bud in NPS mah, so watever laziness juz sorts of dissipates. Nich and xuanhe smsed me to go ah tan house to play mahjong and to tok things out cause they kw im unhappy with wat happened in the previous entry. But thing is im busy, and im in NP, so i couldnt go meet them. I tink as long as they kw its unfair to do this to me and stop doing this childish stuffs, im glad le, dun need to take any further measures ba.

Up till now, my problems are actually quite transient as compared to my fren's prob. Maybe not fren, acquaintence during NS ba. I read his blog and realised one of his frens juz commited suicide, and he tinks he didnt do enough to stop his foolish act. Therefore he is critisizing himself for not doing more for him. I dun have such a tragic experience b4, hence i will nvr kw wat is the feeling like to lose a fren when u can actually save him/her.

Anyways, back to the camp, they played a murderer/treasure hunt game and as the name suggests, we have to RUN AROUND NP. Gosh, its been 3 yrs and here we go again, running the polytechnic and sweating like a dog once again. hahasss.. corinne and zhaorong was with me and we sort of sweat like mad. Poor corinne, she's having gastric flu and still have to suffer with us. haiz, ke lian de mei ren. hahasss :P Then she left at around 10 when her bf came to fetch her. After that, its juz me and gay zhaorong. hahass... The club's freshies were a veri interesting batch, lolx, they reminded me of myself when i was young and naive. hahass... When the game ended, its alreadi 12 plus so i cant go home. -.-"" Fortunately, ah kuang brought extra clothes, hahass, and so i borrowed his clothes, BUT i have no towel, so after bathing, i used TOILET ROLLS to dry myself. In all my 23 yrs, i have NEVERED dried myself using toilet rolls after a shower, so its quite an experience. ^_^.

After a nice shower, i sat down and had a good chat with ah kuang and company, and naturally, ah kuang asked me now im on which gal. And when i told him i have no gals now and is changing, he thought it was a joke...-.-"" After i told him seriously i realised what's wrong with me, he sort of surprised me yet again. He told me all along, he tot my attitude towards gals last time was fucked up. He told me that i was super ultimate flirt. I can put effort on a gal during a period of time, and infront of tat same gal, i can be veri veri close with another gal. And hence even if some of the gals liked me, they also didnt realli did anything because gals simply dun like flirts.
I took it all well, and i sincerely admitted tat i was wrong. Ah kuang said i had the charm to click with people veri veri quickly, and alot of people got close to me, especially gals, but i did not kw what is the limit to closeness, hence sometimes when the gal i liked saw me so close with another gal, obviously they will be turned off. Alrite, so i nw i kw. Maybe i should ask my close frens out one by one and asked them about myself. hahasss..

After that, ah kuang went to sleep ( he told me to stay for the nite, and he happily went to hug qi mei and went to sleep...) and i there like a dumb dirk. lolx.. so i went to play card games with a few freshies. okay, its not on purpose that they are all gals, but there realli is noone else alreadi. The guy freshies are either asleep, or playing guitar their own guitar at one corner silently. How u expect me to approach them when i didnt played a proper guitar score for almost 3 yrs? And well, i onli played CHOR DAI DI with them lah, nothing much, i mean they are onli 17 yrs old, same age as my sister lah, so i treat them all as sisters. hahass. And i realli did not tink too much this time, i kw im changing and im starting to see the positive effects. ^_^ Its 118 more days and i need to change physically also. I want a near perfect me for that coming special day.


Jason's Famous Quotes: Money is the ultimate god.

Stereotyped

What's the feeling of being ostracized? guess everyone felt it b4? yupz, it sux.

Todae went skool for BC lessons. Was lost thruout the whole lesson because i nvr bring my assignment. lolx. Im getting more and more lazy these days, i dun even wanna update my blog, the deadly slacker virus has caught up with me again. gosh.

Im forcing myself to write something here in case ppl tink im dead or something. As usual, have been tinking and reflecting on some stuffs. Am i MCP? Well, im definitely not, because i dun feel women are inferior. My mum single-handedly brought up my siblings until we are old enough to care for ourselves, whereas my dad onli came back last yr. Who am i to say women are inferior? My mum is a veri good personification of a veri strong and independent woman. Okays, why am i saying this? simply because ppl sort of misunderstood me to be a MCP, i might look like a pig, but im not a MCP. Ppl like to judge without even trying to kw me in depth, and sad to say, i treated them as frens. The disappointment is realli overwhelming, they dun even have to courage to voice it out to me. All along, i've been brought up in a upfront-in-ur-face enviroment, and i appreciate honesty more then anything from frens. Anything not happy, say it out, pull me to one side, tok things out, that would be my preferred move. Im matured enough to receive feedbacks and criticism, i wont be pissed and shout back. And the thing is they dun kw i am such a receptive person, why? They didnt took the effort and time to kw me as who i am. I kw i might spout nonsense and stuffs most of the time, but i realli felt those were jokes, if they feel uncomfortable, they can tell me. Like tat time, i used too much vulgarities, a guy got abit unhappy and told me, and till now, i dun use much vulgarities with him le.

Okies, the above said, lets come back to my boring yet interesting life. Yesterday nite, i was plagued by mosquitoes and couldnt sleep..-.-.. i hate mosquitoes, so many stuffs get extinct everyday, y mosquitoes couldnt be extinct? i mean they are totally useless to the eco system ( okay, maybe as food for some silly bugs) and they are PESTS, even rats have more use then them. I wished someone can wipe out mosquitoes one day. Let them be extinct. Screw the mosquitoes!



Jason's Famous Quotes: One of the greatest pain known to mankind is the pain of betrayal.

Purity

Hearts come in various forms. Mostly tainted, some half half, and a minority pure. Pure hearts come in 2 forms also, one is born pure, 2nd type is bleached pure by someone or some event. Being bleached pure is a veri painful process, and in some cases, there might be scars left in the heart. Okay, the above is not some description of my pain or watever, it just suddenly passed by my brain and i became abit philosophical. lolx...

Okies, onwards with that stuffs. You kw, i just realised something ytd. Tat day i went out with haojun they all, its exactly 127 days to a special day. lolx. and it fits the song by kangta and vanness '127 days' perfectly. hahass.. coincidence? dun tink so, i will change and by the 127th day, hopefully im a new guy that is finally worthy. Sometimes people do say realli harsh stuffs about me, but sometimes they are right lah, its impossible watever ppl say about u is fake de mah. rite? hahasss... right now, its 124 days and counting....

Ks, and from hereforth, we come to the nxt topic. Sometimes, people dun seem to be what they seem to be. And sometimes, a barrier of sorts developed over time due to some silly misunderstandings in the past. The wall will be there, no matter how hard u try to knock it down, the harder u try, the thicker it gets. How to break the wall? simple. time. Time will errode everything slowly day by day. Its the ultimate weapon. Its also a double edged sword, and in this case, it serves a positive purpose. lolx. Hopefully one day when we see each other alone, a simple smile and a simple hi will actually serve to be the first step to breaking the barrier ba. How bad is the barrier? have u ever had pause typing infront of the computer in msn just to tink about wat to say nxt? There is never a lack of topics, its just some things u deem as politically incorrect u dun dare to type it out for fear of irritating the other person.

Okays, enough about philosophy, lets come to the most exciting part, my day! wootz, todae was a fruitful day, whole day at home play game with ah wei and ah leong. lolx.. tat's wat i call fruitful? hahasss realli nua todae lors, i love rotting at home, save money, no troubles, wont eat too much. hahasss.. But seriously, when i wake up later, i need to study abit. lolx. exams are round the end of the mth le, its time to mug again. wee you wee. in all my life, i didnt kw wat is mugging, cause i dun study at all in the past, and tis few mths, i learnt wat is mugging. lolx... god kws wat the fark was i doing in the past. hahasss... anyways, will aspire to get good grades.

Aiyah, dun kw wat else to blog le leh, life is monotonous and peaceful, a tad too peaceful. hahasss... Tomolo go where to study leh? hmms... (124 days...)



Jason's Famous Quotes: Somethings just cannot be forced. Understand that, and u will live a better life.

Insensitivity

Juz reached home from NTU. lolx... ytd went out with kenneth, haojun, clarence and adeline. Went to eat at swensens, after that adeline left us to join her fren. Then soon after, haojun left us too cause he's going home early to pack. Next thing i kw, the remaining 3 of us went to partyworld to sing. wootz.

kenneth is having his own troubles these days, hahass, didnt catch up with him too long and i turn out to be the onli one among them not knowing about wat happened. I guess i spent too much time with my new frens from SIM and sort of forgot about them. hmms, wrong move it seems, cause they do have alot of feedbacks for me too. After KTV, we went to clarence's hostel at NTU to tok cock and by the time we wanna leave, its around 3am le. So might as well sleep in his hostel lors, since his roommate is not coming back. hmms, well, during the tok cock session, they told me something i didnt kw, and im realli glad i went to catch up with them.

Before i left starhub, i sent a onyx msg to the whole starhub customer service. And in that msg, i wrote alot of silly stuffs that are totally redundant. I wanna say sorri to her, simply because i told her a 'sa lang hae yo' at the end of the msg. After i left, everybody was asking her izzit her and stuffs, and she commented if i actually put her name inside, she will instantly quit. Gosh, im so insensitive, seriously, what i tot was romantic and some fucktart stuff actually caused her so much grief. And throughout the whole starhub journey, i did alot for her yes, but i had a motive also. i want her to be mine. that is so absurd and childish. I might not understand her well, but how come i dun even understand myself? now its been around 3 mths since i left starhub, looking back from a neutral perspective, i realised i totally understood how come she didnt accept me at all. Its not the thing i do, she's touched yes, but it juz ends there, how can u be with someone who is so insensitive and didnt realli communicate well?

Clarence and kenneth then proceeded to start a lecture session for me on ethics. I am totally fucked up they say. lolx, and best thing is i agree! Why fucked up u say? they say i like to put my eggs in alot of baskets, meaning the same thing so many ppl told me, im too fickle. I turbo like so many gals, and in the end i sucked. They were quite surprised(i tink) that i dun wanna get a gf now, cause they grew so accustommed to me blabbering about gals. hahahasss. So all in all, insensitivity is one of the many factors that screwed me up.

I agree when i say what's done cannot be undone, no use crying over spilt milk. Yet i just cannot diminish that sense of guilt for her, because of my insensitivity, i made her life miserable in starhub. Hmms, even ytd going out to eat, she also didnt tok much to me, i guess the trauma was too great? hahasss... nvms, i want her as a fren, so will do things to salvage the frenship. What i destroyed with my own hands shall be rebuilt with my own hands.

kks, enough about her, lets tok about kenneth and the other fucktarts ya? lolx. Clarence the dumbfuck is still the same, turbo crapping and super guai lan. lolx.. and he wanted revenge for the 'cartoon t-shirts' comment on my farewell msg. As for kenneth, he wanted revenge because i mentioned he owed me $5 in my farewell msg! LOLX... he says the whole starhub knows he owe me $5. -.-"" As for haojun, he's flying off on the 29th this mth. haiz, he's a smart kid ya? so he have a scholarship to study chemistry at UK's Imperial College, he's sort of invited somemore lors.. lolx... smart ppl... hmms...I kw i can never be that smart lah, but i dun fuck care, my motive is to be rich, not smart.

I am not a goalless guy, i have ambition, i have plans and i have a goal im working towards. I told someone that i will score high distinction throughout my course and get a degree with High Distinction. I intend to keep that in mind, cause whatever i told her must be fulfilled. She might have forgotten it, but still, once i told her, means i must do it. I meant all in all, my grandma is sponsoring my degree leh, although she's rich, i cannot bear to waste her money. Over my dead body. i rather let car bang and turbo run over me then get a mediocre degree and waste the hopes she placed on me. i want high distinction, that is short-term goal. not as in goalkick or soccer, its GOAL. There's no escape. Fuck u HD degree, im coming to get u.

Jason's Famous Quotes: People who read blog and dun tag, most prob squats and shit over a toilet bowl. (dun understand? do u squat over toilet bowls? LOLX)

Peace

Went skool. stats. confused. break. stats. further confusion. dinner at megabites. bus 154. home.

there, it sums up my day. lolx. boring rite? nb one, nowadays super no life like tat. hahass.. but im looking forward to tomolo, cause will be meeting the guys from starhub for dinner. wootz. Initially i tot its an all guys outing, but kenneth suddenly told me adeline is going also. lolx... surprise surprise, but thing is, my heart is cleared le. hmph, wonder how is it going to be tml, treating her as a normal fren. hahass.. well, tat's for tml ba, no point tinking too much though.

Anyways, im super looking forward to see the guy. realli. its been ages le, hahass, the times we spent eating lunch at JVC realli brings back memories. wootz, and then while eating, i will tok about adeline, kenneth toks about yinghwee, llyod toks about her gf. lolx. super funny lors, and they will analyse each other's cases then come to conclusion, tat is wat i call guy's tok. ^_^

Well, enough reminising about those days, tml will see them and possibly go sing ktv. hahass.. yupz, KTV!!! muahaha... tml shall try guang liang's 'ru guo ni hai ai wo' , been listening to tis song for the past few days, its realli nice and emotional. wee you wee. And one more thing, although ppl say i should cut short hair and spike it up, i dun wanna do that. lolx.. i want long hair, like those idol drama actors de. lolx... i kw i dun have the looks, but i dun care, die also need to try once mah. Skooling days are the best time to try out different styles wootz.. ^_^

Alrite, now on a more solemn note.... due to OB, my hit rate dropped... T_T.... its onli 8 hits per sec now.... gosh... there goes my 11 hits per hr... fuck one lor, i trained 2 mths for tat lah, now it dropped back to 8 hits le... zzzz.... sianz, sometimes realli no time to train sia.... plus, i need to find a job soon, the bills are stacking up and im realli worried. no net no phone i will die. its tat simple. I need to find a job. a job. a fucking job. anyone needs promoters? lolx...

My heart feels so peaceful nowadays. hahass.. i guess finally dropping whatever has been bugging me these yrs actually gave me some breathing space finally. The world seems more... open shall i say and certainly im looking further over the horizon. No more jealousies, no more worries on whether i will get the gal i want anot, no more sleepless nites when they get attached, no more trying to get into their good books and the list goes on and on. But there's some stuffs tat i missed though, lolx... when i listen to sad songs nowadays, i dun have a target. -.-"" LOLX...


Jason's Famous Quotes: True Peace Comes From Within You. (太平心境 ， 透彻玉镜)

OBtified

This 2 weeks, OB is my life. I live, eat, shit OB. In case u dun kw, OB means Organisational Behavior. That my frens, is a module in my course. I have been going to Bugis NLB for dun kw how many times le. The feeling initially was totally fucked up, no time of my own during the noons lor, no boxing (tis is the most fucked up part...), no swimming and tanning, no life....

But still, i realised i've seeing alina elissa and nicholas almost every day lor. lolx... thing is i've grown closer to them, they are realli good frens. hahahass.. though during the project, we've seen the ugly side of each other....PUNCTUALITY...
They are fun to be with, and when stressed and tired till the extreme, will do urms... abnormal stuffs... lets list them out shall we???


Operation OB-fication

Operative Name: Nicholas Tong aka Ni Ke La Si
Role: IT Specialist
Abilities:
Spasticasiam ( Can stretch out both hands and shake uncontrollably with eyes rolled up. Ultimate Finisher)
Torso Dancer ( During periods of extreme stress, will listen to retro music and move upper torso retardedly)


Operative Name: Alina Teo aka Banana
Role: Insomnia Zombie
Abilities:
Zombification ( Ability to stone and display zombie-spasticated motion. Highly Contagious)
Illogical Mentality ( Ability to imagine and contort innocent display by mankind)


Operative Name: Elissa Ng aka KuKubird
Role: Sleepyhead / Dumbetinator
Abilities:
Blurtification ( Ability to blurrify any normal circumstances and cause confusion among teammates)
Influenza ( Ability to influence everybody to focus on food instead of task. Extremely Deadly)



LOLX, gosh, how to fail when u have teammates with the above profile? They are the best of the best. hahahass.... but seriously, its been fun having them around, each of them actually demonstrates entertainment qualities. hahass.... and best of all, they all LOVE good food. wootz!
If not for them, i would have threw my OB project away then go one side let wind blow. hahass
kks, now before i go, i shall paste some a picture i took at NLB.

TOTO --- US一体形小便器

Okay, i took tis picture beside the male toilet urinal, i find it super funny. lolx... its states

LOLX? WTF? 小便器?? hahass... literally it means 'machine aiding with urination! WAT THE FUCK? LOLX.....

Jason's Famous Quotes: To live life anew is like being reborn. What is the past, needs to stay in the past.

My First Composition

Todae went to do project until c buay late. so preoccupied with assignments these days, they nvr seem to end. And i got a Distinction for my Stats test, lolx. It the first time i got distinction in dun kw how many yrs alreadi. But thing is, the best is High Distinction, so i still didnt make it.

I realised army do change ppl's mentality. Studies matters, now i kw, i never studied much during all my previous yrs. I just scraped thru my modules and though i never repeated, grades wasnt that impressive. hahass... thing is this, i realli realised juggling studies and play need some skills, and im doing it nicely now, though i still appear damn slack. There's this thing in me telling me to get good grades, and the fact that im paying $5000 a semester totally motivated me to get something out of this. And if u're tinking im too preoccupied with gals to concentrate on my studies, then u're wrong, love is love, studies is studies, they are completely different things.

Anyways i wrote my first song, although there's no melody and tune yet, i did the lyrics le. ^_^
Its about some dude that regrets going into a relationship with some gal and in the end when they broke up, tat dumb fuck got so confused cause he dun kw whether he likes her anot. lolx. But the rest u all intepret urselves ba, i also havent realli refined everything yet, but ya, the lyrics do narrate a story. heehee.


淡淡的优伤带，
着咸咸的泪水，
缓慢的滑过双颊，
眼泪，不是因为你的离去，
而是为了我的无能，我的懦弱。

你要的，我永远无法做到，
无力的我，没有面对自己的勇气，
这是否是命运对我的惩罚，
还是我对自己的钾锁？

成经给你的一切诚诺，
对你说的甜言密语，
连我本身都心存怀疑，
宁视着你远去的背影，
我的心开始寻找伤悲。

一种不能表达的平静，
像黄昏的缅腆缓缓落下，
内疚，是什么情绪？
后悔，是什么感觉？

爱情又是什么呢？
你我之间的是爱吗？
难道简单纯普的爱，
是我们到不了的天堂？

wootz, there, my new song.. hahas... havent tot of a title yet.. hmms.... any suggestions?
hahass... anyways its suppose to be quite sad yet also portray how basket the guy is. Like daniel chan's 'feng yi yang de nan zi' tat kinda feeling. hmms.... well well well, i tink tis concludes another day in my life. wonder how many more yrs can i live? *thoughts running wild*

Jason's Famous Quotes: The root of all problems is you, youself and thy.

Brutality And Honesty

hahahahaha.... hahahaha.... hahahahaha.... im laughing and im smiling. wanna kw what am i laughing at? Im laughing at my stupidity, dumbness and self-deceiving methodology. Well well well, everything started when i was 13, sec 1, and i didnt kw until i saw her again after so many yrs. She determined wat is my 'type' and the blueprint for my idiotic fantasies. In the foodcourt, when i saw her again after so many yrs, things start to flash through mind. And then i saw how stupid i was, blabbering on about gals gals and more gals. childish, dumb and irrelevant...

Simply put, i have too many gals in my life that i was preoccupied with. I fall easily, not as in fall down, but fall for ppl. Its sickening thinking about it, goes to show how fickle i am. Sad to say i was like that for the past 6 yrs, immediately after sec 4, when i went into poly, my mentality changed. Im honest and going to write everything here, i dun care who reads this anymore, i need to be honest and stop kidding myself. And if u happen to be one of the ppl mentioned in the list, im sorry for being so blunt and honest, but still, i need to jote all these down. ( and if i can remember vividly...)

Primary 4 : Meifang , Qiuyen
Primary 5 : Peifen
Primary 6: Peifen
Sec 1 & 2: Huimin, Peifen
Sec 3 & 4: Huimin, Peifen, Meiyun, Danlin
Poly Yr 1: Trillia, Rachel and 5 others
Poly Yr 2: Jiayan, Trillia and 16 others
Poly Yr 3: Corinne. Onli her. Realli.
Ns Yr 1: Corinne. My Everything.
Ns Yr 2: Corinne. Memories.
Starhub: Adeline, Peifen, Gladys, Linda, Yiansin

Im honest, brutally honest. Call me watever u wanna call me, i at least have the courage to show what i am. And when i saw 'her', im stunned. My good frens are telling me to dun tink about the past so much, but these are memories, i cant just delete them.

Regarding myself, im fucked up just like other guys, i go for looks first. All the above listed are pretty and cute in their own ways. I liked every single one of them, but in the end, im still single all the way simply because of my lousy attitude when handling stuffs.

Huimin retained alot of what made her so attractive through the yrs. Her elegance took me aback and i realised i stereotype the ppl i like after her. As long as the person have some semblance to her in any sense, i will like. That's why things turned out the way it is todae. The issue never realli left me, it manifested sub-conciously and wat i did was simply find a trace of her in other ppl. But thing is, i dun take substitutes, i do like people for who they realli are. Huimin is the one gal that i seriously liked all the way for 4 yrs. And peifen is the on-off one,we went out , but when finally she was ready, i was obsessed with corinne. Similarly, same thing happened with jiayan, we actually went out , but then i was occupied with corinne and i did it again.

Anyways huimin is with him for 6 yrs plus le, he is a wushu gold medalist, rich man son, polite and average looking guy, super good boyfrend who brings her around the world. Didnt realised my mistake in the past actually resulted in her finding true happiness. Sometimes fate is funny. realli.

And for trillia, its even better, she became a model and now has a good-looking, rich and good boyfrend.

Same thing goes for peifen, she settled down with a nice guy, although abit plump, yet he loves her alot. And u're right, again i made a mistake that lead to her accepting him and living happily ever after.

I guess the conclusion is, im totally fucked up, and its their luck that they didnt choose me. I might not be able to give them what the other guys are giving them, and i realli woke up to that point. The point that im a total fucker.

Im not self-condemning or low esteem or whatever terms u wanna call me. Maybe i should just shut the fuck up and go stand one side. I dun deserve anybody, and nobody deserves to be attached to such a fucked up person. I know, sounds hush but i realli tink its true, why drag ppl down? They have happiness waiting for them out there, why be an obstacle in their quest for happiness? The 2 gals that condemned me, u people are smart. I totally agree with both of u condemning me. I know.

I need to do my project now, irresponsibility will not be in my list of flaws. And to the one that commented im fucked up. I am fucked up. you're right. im a big fat fucking brainless fucktart that lusts for swan meat. Im just a short and fat piece of shit that exists in this world wasting oxygen and food that could be put to better use feeding pigs. Hope that makes u happi. And before i forget, im childish too. ^_^

Jason's Famous Quotes: Fucked up means fucked up, hiding will onli increase the fucked up index.

EMPTINESS

This few days, i've been loading tis blogger screen and then dun kw wat to blog. its been ongoing for a few days alreadi, and todae, i blogged.

A couple of things happened to me and i was tinking thru them tis few days too. Im not unhappy, im just hmms... concerned u might say. Yesterday was quite uneventful, i simply went back to skool and as usual, i was late for OB lessons..-.-"" Then after that went for lunch with reilly and xuanhe. Rei and i were discussing over lunch tat our OG is splitting le, and we both agree on that. its obvious, everyone is going their own ways after lessons, even sitting also got some distance. I guess things dont last, and each and everyone have their own new frens and stuff ba. I sort of wanna voice tis out to the ppl, i realised most of them kw all tis is happening, yet dun realli see the need to revert back to how we were b4....

Anyways, after lunch is accts, and as usual balwant was a veri engaging lecturer, and puts forth the topic veri clearly. I respect people tat can give good lectures. And during the lesson, my eyes keep looking at someone, i just cannot control them. lolx.. gosh, im not gonna say who im looking at, but rest assured its a gal. Anyways looking is free mah, i kw she's not gonna be mine anyways, unless pigs can fly. hahassss..

After skool, sat down and chatted with nich and elaine and jeanette. Toked about some dumb stuffs and sort of nua around outside the lecture hall. After that i reached home and bathed, then went down to eat dinner with aiying. After sending her home, i gamed till 5am then sleep. that ends my day yesterday. hahass.. boring....

Alrite, now lets carry on to my thoughts. Alina is having a veri difficult rite now and life is realli harsh on her. hmms... but i kw she can tide thru this whole thing de, she's a strong gal mah. cfm can de. hahass... I can sense sadness in people, and that is what troubles me alot... i can sense nich also have something he is hiding, some sad stuffs but i feel he wanna keep it secret.

So, regarding the one tat condemned me, i still tink she is condemning me leh. Dun kw y, i simply feel tat way, maybe she didnt speak much to me? hmms, thing is this, why am i so concerned about whether she condemn me anot? lolx... gosh, sometimes life is intriguing rite? But i kw, if she's reading tis, she will feel im damn er xin and disgusting. hahahass... The thing about me is that im unsettled, its always the case. Well, who will be the one? dun kw, but i kw im super attracted to her, i hope she stops condemning me soon and at least try to be better frens ba.

Nxt week will try to ask strawberry-soursop out for lunch at NUS ba. She told me she's quite free nxt week, so maybe can catch up abit with her and see how's life going. Its alreadi been around 3 mths le, so maybe when we see each other, things will be fresher? And it will be the first time i spoke to her verbally after i gave her 'it'. I guess she forgot all about 'it' le ba, the magic 'it' brought...

My heart has castle, and in the castle lived a few residents, and i dun kw which one is the queen that will rule the castle. Its obvious, and the thing is, there's onli a few residents that realli touched me. Im brutally honest now, onli 4 of them realli made me took a long and understanding look into their eyes. So many unspoken emotions were passed thru the eyes, and yet i was not fated to be the one to take care of them. Well, a tinge of regret is always there, but i kw, the future awaits me. And like what xuanhe told me on the MRT 2 mths ago, 'dun look for it, they will come for u.'....

Jason's Famous Quotes: Todae no quotes, so i give u the 10 commandants of Jasoniology.

1) Thou shall not lust after thou's frend girlfrend. ( But she IS interesting... lolx)
2) Thou shall not use force. ( im a refined man..)
3) Thou shall not badmouth ppl or organisations. ( I failed tis one....)
4) Thou shall not fall in love with ur classmates. ( Its obvious...)
5) Thou shall not oogle at girls. ( Do it discreetly.)
6) Thou shall not eat too much. ( totally crap.)
7) Thou shall not give up on training. ( Shyt..)
8) Thou shall not be too sentimental. ( Seriously..)
9) Thou shall not be hypocritic. ( Finally one tat i passed!)
10) Thou shall not overcommunicate. ( erms...)

Super Duper Pissed...

**Caution: The below paragraph is super vulgar because im just being pissed.**

There are some organisations around me that totally pissed me off. From the start i dun fucking like the fucking organisation, cause i tink majority of them are all fucked up people. And when i say people, i meant the GUYS. And mind u, im not the onli one that thought tat way, alot of my frens also told me the same fuck thing. The organisation is onli a facade for those fuckers to hide behind and plan their lewd acts. They tink noone kws and even IF someone knew, they dun fucking care. Each of their god-damn faces show what is going on behind those retarded brain-fucks. Wanna kw what they tink? simple, the organisation is their SCREW-TOPIA, short form for screwing-utopia. Im not being extreme, its been holed up in me for so many fucking mths alreadi. Bloody fuck-tarts, everytime i see those cb faces i realli wanna beat some sense into their retard brains. I totally tink they have no management ability and onli wanna work towards some they-dun-kw-that-ppl-kw motives. 3 of my frens applied for the job/position and didnt get in, simply because they were GUYS, they ONLI accept pretty GALS. Sincerely i hope each and every fucking one of them die from bird flu or some unknown disease or accident, and if its a car accident, i hope the car will reverse and run over their bodies over and over again till they STICK to the fucking tar on the road! DUN FUCK AROUND WITH MY FRENS U BASTARDS, BE READY TO FEEL THE WRATH WHEN U FUCKERS CROSS THE LINE. FUCK OFF U FUCKING CB BASTARDS!

*End of Vulgarities*

Arghs... god that felt so good, being able to vent my anger in my blog... woohoo, that's wat i call a blog. yeah. :) Okies, now that i've finished venting my anger, im normalised, but again i proclaim, im not a violent man. heehee.. :P

okies, todae rotted at home the whole day(seemingly) and i saw the sun rise and set. lolx. I've had 2 new frens from 2 days ago when i met them on the bus.. lolx.. they were living in my area lors, and i didnt notice them at all.. hahasss.. well, at least i have some frens living in the west tat i can study with le. wootz! I also downloaded some new songs and formatted my dear i-de-pod because something or some file screwed it up.. -.-"" I also have jay's new album le.. muahaha.... obviously its free lah, cause as usaul, he never fail to mail me a copy of his new album everytime. heehee. That's the perks u get when u write songs for him. :P (TUA KANG IN ACTION!)

Hmms, and i just perfected the ideaology of a perfect guy. muahaha.... A perfect guy not onli has to have physiological perfection, what matters most is the psychological development also. which means he must be as good mentally as he looks physically. So ya, will strive towards that goal and the 1st thing is to reduce childish outbursts like the above. LOLX.. okies, dun tok rot le, time to go play game. i kw friday is accts and i haven touch accts, but dun care le, cause i no mood now. Will be on high gear for studies tomolo! FUUUUUUUUU!!!!! (*Hardgay action*)


Jason's Famous Quotes: It onli takes a few pile of shit to screw up a whole reservoir of water.

SO SICK OF LOVE SONGS, SO TIRED OF TEARS

hmms, the above title is part of the lyrics of ne-yo's 'so sick'. its a super nice song, realli loves this type of rhythmic RnB. wootz, makes me groove... smooth and comforting.. lolx...
Todae was stats test, and life was abit awkward these 2 days, but alritey, i got thru it all, in the end, happiness is wat i want for her rite? so ya, screw it, as long as she's happi can le lah. My ultimate motive is for her to be happi mah, and i will simply shut the fark up and be her silent guardian can le lor. Seeing her smile always seems to bring the lights in the heavens into my world... and suddenly the world seems so bright and sunny.. hahass.. sound like some miracle rite? lolx.. :P

Training went to phrase 2 le, its time for the kicks. lolx.. from tml onwards, everyday need to stretch, so can do the horse split. wootz. then will proceed to those fanciful moves.. muahaha... kicks are so cool and awe-inspiring.. wee you wee... :P And it seems things in life have juz took a reality check. Everything seems so real and ceased to be a facade all of a sudden... hmms... is it her? or her? or her? or them? omg.... things always comes one full circle, and it seems time to reap wat i sowed over the yrs... lolx....but it all came together, and im drowning in it... gosh...

Hmms, there's now 1 thing i dun kw whether i should or should not do... What if we have no topic? what if... omg.... it will be so awkward lahs... god.... shall i? should i? would i? i feel so silly now, hahass... i dun have much topic with her leh... its sort of like a kiddy crush.. lolx.. but i dun kw whether she still condemns me anot... ?.?

Okies, enough about stupid crushes and stuffs, accts is on friday, and death is looming. Well well well, the latest anon tat tagged in my blog, i kw who u are lors... tink i dun kw.. dumb dumb. :P
told u im smart rite? hahasss....

Jason's Famous Quotes: Unified Avoidance Is Dumb And Childish.

Rewritten Feelings....

****************************
我那么爱她

歌手： 蓝新翔 专辑： 我的故事

直到爱消失我才懂得去珍惜

身边每个美好风景只是它早已离去

直到我想通她早已经不再对我留恋

最后的我开始了一段挣扎

我那么爱她为什么不把她留下

为什么不说心里话

我深爱她这是每个人都知道啊

我那么爱她为什么不把她留下

是不是我有深爱的两个她

所以我不想再让自己无法自拔。。。
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Todae rotted at home for the whole day tinking about some stuffs.i need to sort out my tots, and the worse thing is tests is juz nxt week... urghs... constitutes 30% to final results, so i realli need to get over all these things fast.

Life is realli quite fascinating, it juz have a tendency to twist a beautiful story with some grosteque end. And the same goes for a reverse situation. Hope, is a wonderful thing. When i was feeling hopeless yesterday nite, someone brought me hope.

But is that hope what i want? Am i over stupendous? I do tink im over indulgent in the emotion called love. I did an assessment of my mental state tis morning while i was training. I asked myself a few questions that i would normally avoid. Its about how i feel, i realised i didnt realli face tis few questions, i've onli been avoiding them or finding excuses to tell myself that i am right.

The above resulted in my actions not tallying with what i say ; totally contradictory. I say one thing, i do another, because i avoiding facing myself as a whole. Judgementally speaking, im afraid to kw the real me. Its like commiting the japanese act of belly-cutting, when u realli examine urself after cutting urself up psychologically.

And todae i did just that, which lead to me discovering another me. The dark and hideous me. Im not what i tot i am at all, im just a image of a few different entities which i tot was prim and proper. I was wrong, and i have found myself. From tis day onwards, i need to change my mental outlook and commit to a more sincere me. Sincerity not onli towards people, but most importantly myself....

JASON'S FAMOUS QUOTES: Self-discovery is a life long journey.