Ah Lam

Todae was OT paper, i smoke till i dun even kw what im writing, i was kinda tinking my answer was not relevant to the question. But i applied all the theories involved, so i wasnt sure whether its correct or not. Watever lah, since its over, fuck it. I like the notion that once something is over, dun brood over it, screw and heck it lah, over means over, no point hogging on it rite?

I can understand if people tell me that its impossible and very hard etc... But i got kinda pissed when somebody told me that he pity me. Was chatting as usual on msn, and it came to that topic, and its understandable that he dislikes that person. But dun freaking tell me that u pity me, its not a sin to like someone, and in the end, she's still a normal gal after all. Dun make it sound as if she's some kinda monster and im super dumb to fall for her. Whether or not it works out, i dun need your stupid sympathy and watever i do, i do it without regrets. If you're reading this, im not trying to diss you here, but please keep your ego in check.

Okies, toking about msn, i've been toking more to "muscle-man" nicholas these days, and it seems there's alot of undercurrents within our lecture hall. He told me stuffs that i dun wanna put down here, because its kinda weird lah, announcing other's people's business here. Anyways, i've seeked his advice on how to lose weight faster, and he's technique abit crazy leh -.-"" No wonder he's biceps are so big. hahass.

And still on the topic on msn, for the past 2 days, i was chatting with somebody till 6am in the morning. Its interesting how people from different backgrounds click sometimes, and people are usually more then they look. All along i tot she's just another one of those pretty and veri popular gals, but though popular, she's still humble and very approachable. Very lame, craps alot too. hurhurs. But too bad, im alreadi interested in someone else le. And she's not chinese, so its a total no no.

This semester will be officially over after next tuesday's PM exams, and then i shall worry about finding a job again. sigh. And worse yet, i need to worry about where to get money for my next semester's fees. Bank Loan? Only way out, though i hate the notion of being indebted before i even started working.

Sean bro is having some r/s issues it seems, adviced him abit. I feel that since he feels for her and she is veri into him, they should give it a try. i like to call it "taking the plunge", because u need to at least try to see where the road leads. Taking any road, is better then staying put. People might not agree with me, some say they're afraid of getting hurt and stuffs like that, but then again, how did u learn to walk? U definitely fell down before being able to walk when u were young, so where is that courage? The courage that you possess since you were a kid?

To me, life is veri simple, its about giving things a chance. I've had frends that tried, and they found the love of their life. There are those that failed as well, but no matter, they learned from the experience and became a better lover to the next fated one. People learn from mistakes more then they learn from books. In fact, we human beings learn everything from mistakes. Making mistakes is never the issue, its the courage to admit u made a mistake and learn from it that's the point.

I've never been in a relationship before, but i do know the pain of losing somebody, the heart-wrenching feeling that u have to let go of someone u sincerely love. Rather then immersing yourself in sadness and locking urself up emotionally, why not be happy for the times that u have at least spent with them? Like a saying that i saw on a t-shirt, "Do not cry because its over, smile because it happened.".

Though i seem nonchalant and happy-go-lucky each and everyday, alot goes thru my mind. I like to observe things and reactions, trying to understand things. To me, happiness is innate, meaning you have to find it within you. This may sounds dumb, but you're happy because u feel like being happy. Get it? If not, never mind, im kinda lazy to explain it, go give it some thought.

Okay lah, enough alreadi, todae was abit long winded, so concluding this entry hor, sean bro, i do hope your choice will be a positive one. And i do hope your blessing for me works this time around. heh. Wish me luck, i most prob need lots of it. ^_-


(P.S.) I said i will paste a song lyric here tis entry, so here it is:

想太多 - 李玖哲

你笑着说
他是朋友
但你眼中太温柔
我的不安
那么沉重
只有你不懂
他霸占了你的心中
属于我的角落
所以你说
我们不是你和我
是我想太多
你总这样说但你却没有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由

Jason's : This is a veri meaningful entry to me. Todae was a important day.