Alright, today is monday. i havent been blogging for quite some time due to unforseen circumstances. But here i am again, updating my life ^_^. Well, im clearing leave nxt mth on 19th of OCT le.. hehe, so happi, but dun know can find job anot, because its illegal to work while on leave.-.- But nvm, i got backup plan, if cant find job, then everyday go swim lor. Long time bo swim le, its a realli relaxing activity for me. Lazing by the pool, tanning and toking cock with frendz. sometimes also got gals to see... so fun sia.. :P. Hmm, i havent contacted any single gal for like 1 mth le, haha, except maybe MSN got say hi and bye ba. Dun know why leh, i realised living without gals tat u are interested in is realli....freedom. U dun have to tink too much on whether she likes u anot or is she safe right now anot. Things are simple rite now, my time and money is mine to spend. WUDI! But still.. i still gonna pay my bills which leave me with like $200 to live every mth...T_T.. NS sux... Later im going down to cut hair le, o_O dun know cut wat style leh...

Yesterday was my birthday.. boring day sia.. i whole day do nothing n noone except my family celebrated it for me.. haiz... in the afternoon i buay tahan liaoz, so i alone go down to queensway shopping center to buy PS2 games lor... i bought god of war and digital devil saga... both are realli nice games... GOD OF WAR is AWESOME... lolz... alot of blood and gore, my type of game. :P A lonely, but indeed peaceful way to spend my birthday. I realised that i now have veri veri little female frendz le... not like last time in secondary school... i always go out with a BUNCH of gals after school ..lolz... Those were the days sia.. hmm... although i know time cant be rewinded, but if its possible i would realli do the things that i never did in the past so that i wont regret them now... There is a few things i realli realli regretted doing or not doing in the past... one of them was going after huimin... lolz.. she's my first love and i feel that she's the best among all the gals that i've liked before... There is juz this sincerity in her eyes that make guys wanna devote their future with her... she quite a number of suitors during those days sia.. haha.. but she's settled with jianda from sec 4 till now le... so long sia.. hahaha.. wonder how's she getting on these days leh? (?-?) Another regret is not taking up lessons in boxing.. -.-.. i have the interest and the passion, but it juz didnt occur to me that i should go find some place to learn it.. haiz.. I should also have taken up rugby during those sec skool years, then maybe i wont be a fat piece of lard now.. -.-""... hahaha.. watever it is, im still quite fine with wat i am and how i look now. Though im a bit heavy, i actually get a pass in the looks department. But in future, i dun want a pass le, once i come out of NS and start working, i want a A* for my looks! hehehe... ( okay, a fat A* guy lah.. -.-) LOlz.

Reflection Day. Today i suddenly had a urge to reflect on some issues which have no link to each other at all. -.-. firstly, i remembered last saturday when i went to collect my ipod shuffle, i went to citylink mall alone. In the mrt, i saw a pregnant women standing with a her son and noone wanted to give up their seats for her... im standing so i cant help, but i keep staring at those idiots sitting on the seats to see whether they will 'automatic' abit anot... well, noone gave up their seat until at one station then a women gave up her seat to the pregnant lady. Those people claim they are human, but what i see is something other then that. zzzz. Then now comes the 'project superstar' blind guy, i was realli damn touched by his determination to carry on despite his disabilities and truly, he is a hero. Today is the 17th of august, and its corinne's birthday. 2 weeks ago, i would have did anything for her just to see her smile. But fate has it that i have seen through alot of things in my journey to maturity. I feel im just doing something for nothing, its not like i expect any thing in return but its just... haiz... Believe it or not, i didnt even send her one happy birthday message or contacted her today at all. Im simply sick and tired of this whole thing and just want to give up on everything related to her. My heart is no more with her, i guess she's really happy now that i have truly given up. I have lost a part of myself in my pursuit for her heart, and that is my basic common senses. My heart is now open again, but trust me when i say it wont be easily taken again. Losing weight and self-improvement is the top priority in my life now, and in future after i ORD, i will forge a career that really belongs to me. Can gals be trusted? Are all gals out to take advantage of you if they know u like them? Questions, questions and more questions, these mostly can only be answered by the gals themselves... They claim not to make use of guys, but have they realli considered the possibility of them crossing the line without knowing it? Noone will 'self-dissect' themselves and say that they are wrong, they will find excuses to 'prove' whatever measures they take is the one and onli correct one. Humans are all in all a selfish species, how do i know? well, because im human too. ^_^

Darwin's elder sister is so damn pretty.. lolz... Today i went to darwin's 'army-farewell' party at his house. I also saw darwin's girlfrend there.... Lolz, darwin so fat and lame also can find a pretty girlfriend, i realli suck.. -_-... Anyways, darwin's sister was realli pretty sia, haha, but she's attached to a japanese guy le, they even bought a house le..zzz... But its realli kinda ironic that darwin have such a pretty sister and darwin looks like....um... :P. Enough about her le, today was quite a okay day lah, but i realised my family now is slowly rotting le.. My father is going bankrupt and doesnt wants to support my siblings le..zzz, then my mum also veri jialat, have to work as a factory worker to earn a pathetic $700++ nia. We are now at this pathetic stage simply because my stupid father's money is all cheated by his mistress... zzz.. I dun hate my dad lah, he's still my father after all, but i have no more respect for him le... Other ppl got mistress still will support family and kids one leh, but he cannot make it lah... So i guess i have to have a change of plans ba, i dun tink i will be continuing my studies after i ORD le, i tink i go work abit to support my family through this period first. My mum alone have brought us up till so big le, its time i return the favour le ba. Heng i ORDing soon sia, if this type of thing happens during my BMT then confirm jialat liaoz. I go out also dun know work as wat leh, got what job can earn about $2000 every month one ah? im not selling ANY BODY PARTS hor. hahahah..:P i tink need to go for commission-based job le, so i can turbo sell the product to turbo earn money. wootz.

Hmm, im back here again le.. it seems tis blog is somewhere i can hide away from reality. Life realli is tiring sometimes, and i realised people do change with age. My best frend ah-wei is one veri good example, maybe its ME tat changed... i dun realli know, but his ideals were initially same as mine when we were young... Our principles, our thinking was so alike, but now, it seems all these meant nothing to him. Sometimes i realli tink he's realli childish, but how can i tell him? He tinks he's right in everything, but most of the time its not, he's always finding excuses for his mistakes... Im always keeping quiet and dun realli wanna confront him, but it seems he's going down the wrong road. haiz... I guess change is directly proportional to time ba, i also cant escape the tides of change... What does future have in stall for me? i wonder will i realli be the man i wanna be? can my dreams be fulfilled? Uncertainties are part and parcel of life, and although i dun like them, life wouldnt be fun and meaningful if we knew wat would happen would it? ^_^. 90% of my dreams are all quite unattainable in a practical context, but that doesnt mean i wont TRY... Sometimes people will tink of me as being proud,'haolian' and naive, but my heart tells me i CAN and WILL succeed. Anyways, i juz bought a ipod shuffle today...hahaha... but the guy tat sold it to me hor, realli damn funny sia.... he so quiet one, how to do business? hmm.... but he's okay lah, at least dun have the cock face. Looking back on my previous entries, i tink my blog is getting more and more philosephical ( i tink spell wrong le..:P) le... Finally for a end note before i go gaming again, advice of the day----> DRINK MORE WATER! :P

Reality. I always tot i knew wat it was until someone 'showed' me reality. What will be will be, no matter how hard you try, you juz cant get it. Career is what is important to a guy, and i guess im going in that direction le. Memories are there for us to reminises, not for us to live in them. What is past is past, nothing could turn back time... not even the most powerful man in the world could regain lost time. Right now the time lost when im typing all these is gone forever... and when i tink of this fact, im abit fearful of wat time have in stall for me... No more will love be number 1 in my list.... money and power should be wat a man realli needs....

Oh how have i grown and matured... i did something so brave and forthright yesterday. I finally sorted out our relationship logically and maturely. We will be frendz and there will be no love involved anymore ba, i wont put in any feelings from now on. hehehe. Hmm, im quite surprised i took it so easily man... im not sad or whatsoever leh, juz glad that finally our story came to an end... its dragging too long anyway and i lost enough sleep over her le. Im free now and now, the hunt is on! muahahah... :P

80%. I would describe my confidence level now with this number. ^_^. Although im not realli slim, but i can slim down if i want to. Come on, why make life difficult for urself? losing weight so tat people can accept you? -.-... dun tink too much lah, lolz. Be what you are, because what you are is unique. Others might think or say some realli fark stuffs about you, but who cares? Its too tiring trying to live up to your own expectations le, i dun have time to live up to OTHER's people expectations. :P. Well well well, tomolo im off, im tinking of going to swim leh... hmm, LONG time bo go swim le, but noone go with me damn boring sia. haiz... ! i know le, i call ah-wei go with me lor... MUAHAHA... Today i whole day at home sia, except i went to hougang in the afternoon to lend corinne my camera phone to take pictures of her clothes for her to sell on ebay. lolz, i went all the way there just to do that sia.. hahaha.. :P... i know im stupid and silly, but tat's wat i am. ^_^. I tink tis will be the last time im doing such a stupid thing for her le... because later im calling her to ask her wat she feels. ^_^. hmm... slowly but certainly im going to sort out my life. i have too many unsolved issues and events in my life le, so i need to 'defragment' my life now before it all comes crashing down on me. hehehe.. :P

oooo today saturday le. hehe. im supposed to go back to camp for a ippt cover this morning one, but heng i smart, i call my frend whose doing duty ytd to go. lolz. Yesterday evening i went out with yunz. She's abit upset and im 'supposed' to console her.. hahaha... ^_^. Anyway, im not going to write what is wrong with her here lah, she call me to keep it a secret. lolz. Today i should be going to pray at the 'yue lao' temple with corinne one, but she say wanna bring her niece out, so cancelled lor. i whole day at home so nua -.-, wanna go jog also procrastinate till never go..zzz. i simply sux in the determination department ba. hahaha. Tomolo going to changi airport le..-.-... juz now corinne call me ask me wanna go anot, how can i dun go? hahaha... im quite poor now le, tomolo dun know whether can survive anot leh.. hmm... Slowly but certainly, something in my heart is changing le. i dun wanna write it out here, but i myself know veri well wat is changing in me le. ^_^. Now im tinking about wat to do at the airport leh... c buay sianz... tomolo need to wake up early also sia... haiz... i tink maybe later i try to change the time to later abit, if not i cfm die on the mrt one. haiz.. my total fortune left 27 bucks nia.. how to survive sia? zzz god bless me ba, im finacially quite 'leong' this 2 mths because of my stupid new 3230 handphone, so i have to eat grass this few mths le... zzz.. i sux. Next mth is my birthday le, and corinne's birthday is one week b4 mine sia. hahaha.. what to buy for her leh... i so poor, kaoz... y must i be so damn poor during my birthdays sia? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Tomolo i will be doing duty le, so most probably wont be blogging here. hehe. recently i have been blogging quite alot because my stupid monitor is spoiled and i cant play games.... -.-... but to look on the bright side, it does gives me ALOT of extra time to tink over alot of stuffs and do some useful things. I hate to admit but i've been skipping my training for like 1 week le.. haiz.. T_T... cannot like tat leh, i tink tomolo i try to 'start the fire' again ba. My weight is maintaining leh..zzz i wanna lose some lah, im kinda stuck le..zzz... hmm, im tinking tomolo bring wat type of entertainment to duty leh? Maybe i TRY to bring PS2 go play ba...maybe... hahaha..
One more thing, the last blog entry was wat my heart was realli feeling. Someone told me its realli realli very touching and i should show it to corinne, but i tink if she found out herself it will be better ba. Simply because i dun believe in telling her wat i did for her, i want her to feel and discover for herself how much she realli means to me. Im not noble, im juz a honest guy who realli wants to spend all my time to give her what has always eluded her......................................happiness.................................

Pain. It can be felt in various forms.. but the strongest form of pain is felt within the heart. When u know u truly love someone, but can not be with her simply because she cant see what she meant to you, the pain is excruciating. A man does not shed tears no matter how intense the pain, but who knows wat happens inside the heart? If she is living happily ever after with someone else, at least you know that she is happy and you will feel naturally happy for her too. How do you explain what you feel if she is tormented by the memory of someone else who did not cherished her? She's not happy at all, she misses him... and the onli thing u can do is to comfort her and try to make her forget momentarily. Seeing her in such pain and hearing the sound of her tears falling to the ground onli makes the pain in my heart goes deeper. Why do she have to go through such pain? im willing to bear the pain for her if its possible, but reality is cruel, i can onli watch on as her heart is being slowly devoured by the past... The sorrow sowed by the guy in her is growing day by day, and certainly is overrunning her... Can someone tell me how do i reduce or even remove the sorrow in her heart? Love is most of the time a torture, but its seeds are always beautiful. If you are reading this, im pleading with your heart now, please wipe ur tears and look forward to the future...

Yesterday i went out with corinne le. ^_^. Well, i tried my best to be realli realli nice to her... she was late and i waited for her at the mrt station with a packet of gummie..lolz, she said she loved gummy mah, so buy her some lor. When we were watching movie, i looked at her sometimes and i realli told myself this.."if she's my gal, i will realli give watever she wants to her juz to make her happy...". haha, im juz so silly and naive right? :P
After the movie, we went to clarke quay to walk walk..but clarke quay under renovation..-.-... sianz, but good thing is she doesnt mind and so we juz simply walked around toking and enjoying the view. After that, we headed to lau pa sat to have dinner, its quite funny there cause we met an uncle selling BBQ sting ray who calls himself 'ELvis Prestley'. hahahaha... he does look abit like elvis lah.. :P After that i went about ordering her favourite foods---> sting ray and chicken butt.. lolz.. i even went to beg the chicken rice aunty for the chicken butt. ^_^.. but she's a great lady and she gave it to me free of charge. 0_O. When she saw the chicken butt, her eyes juz lit up and she looked realli happy... i mean, when u see her light up like tat, the world juz became a better place for me... lolz. Everything was quite smooth going yesterday and im realli glad she looked quite happy. I wanted to send her home, but she was meeting her frend in hougang mall for a cup of coffee... so she called me not to send her home as it was veri far for me too. :P I went to la kopi with my frendz at my house the kopitiam till 12am, then when i reached home, i saw her in msn.. hmm...she said she was not in a good mood, so i LL lor, dun realli disturb her... ^_- She called me at 2am, saying she cant sleep.. she told me she saw a guy's back view who looked like delvin (the guy she gave her heart to but he broke it..) which made her tink about him again. -.-... then she told me alot about him which made me realised how much she still loved him. Im not jealous , juz upset at the notion that no matter wat i did, it can never ever override what delvin did for her. I tried my best today, but one delvin-look-alike sighting spoiled the whole day for her... i realised im realli so small in her world compared to him.. and i onli saw frendship in her eyes when i looked into them searching for an answer. I guess all these have no need to ask le. All the signs are there liaoz, its simply hopeless and i guess another better guy will give her the happiness she wants ba..tat guy is definitely not me, im not being pessimistic, but if u were me, u seriously will see the point. Anyways, im have no emotion now le, maybe u can call it numb le, but i realli dun feel anything now, normal guyz would be sad and in bad mood. but im fine le, i also dun know y, maybe i expected all these all along? hahaha.. :P The conclusion is that corinne's heart belongs to delvin all along and my heart is in the dustbin lor, no one wants it.. -.-... i made the effort and i failed, but im still contented simeply because i tried...i realli realli tried...

I have nothing to say about ah-yap le. zzz, today i was damn pissed off man. remember yesterday i told you ah-yap recounted the stocks? kaoz, he made a mess and today when the stock-checker came, our stocks had so much deficiency... im not saying its entirely his fault, but when we found the drugs he put away, it actually tallied. -.-.. which means im rite from the beginning.... i purposely put some surplus drugs in because i can give the excuse that some ppl never take medication mah, but he go and take them out trying to make them PERFECT. wah lan a, in this world where got PERFECT stock check one? kaoz... i realli wanna vomit blood ah...Y ah-yap so 'xiang bu kai' de? wo de tian ah, wei shen me???!!...Then hor nvm leh, he somemore went to put the drugs he took out into the INDIA store crate ( which i spend an entire afternoon to pack...) without noting down how MANY he put in..-.-.. where got ppl so blur one? C buay tulanz sia... in the end, today we LL have to stay back to count EVERYTHING again... zzz.. and i have to unload everything from the india store crate to RECOUNT EVERY SINGLE F%$K thing.... -.-... we stay back all the way until 7pm then go home sia... wtf, today is friday somemore...zzz..im waiting to see how we survive on monday sia... the stockchecker will be coming back to haunt us on monday... amen.... but heng my mood is quite good actually because im going out with corinne tomolo! ^_^... i wonder what will happen tomolo leh.... hmm...Later i call her to plan tomolo's program with her ba. hehe. wish me luck hor. :P ^_^

Today my monitor screen is not black and white le!, its yellow and dark green sia. siao siao. My monitor nowadays got mood somemore, juz now got colour, now no colour liaoz... kaoz.. -.- hmm, today in camp im not realli veri happi, ah-yap 'tink-not-open' disease come back again. zzz.. he go recount all the drugs today sia. he likes to do extra work, i c alreadi c buay pek chek... yesterday i juz finished everything then today he redo everything... realli for f*%k ( i can use vulgar language because she call me dun use..) sia. Luckily, affairs of the heart is quite okay today. corinne called me to ask me burn her a song by zhang zhi cheng called 'hen xiang ni'. She likes the song sung by derrick of 'jue dui superstar'... but does she knows that i can sing whatever she wants for her? hmm... anyway, im sending her the song later via msn and sad to say, i havent found the song. zzzz. I juz realised one thing about myself tat i didnt previously know.... its tat im realli not a easily jealous guy. ^_^. how do i know? well, she was telling me how much she tot of devin when she heard derrick sang the song, and im like telling her its alrite to tink about him once in a while because she realli loved him. OMG, wat was i tinking man? lolz. but i dun feel jealous at all leh, i even told her everyone will truly loved someone in their life and for her tat guy is devin. Hmm, but i never tell her who is the one i realli loved in MY life lah... lolz. Ironic isnt it? consoling her and yet im not telling her who i realli love...zzzz. WaTeVer lah, i changed my entire mentality this few days le, im tinking in a more rational and practical way nowadays... no more silly 'love till end of the world' crap for me liaoz. Love is not a constant entity. Its something that will morph and mutate into different forms at different time-spans. Its entirely exponential and can easily be squarerooted in the blink of an eye. The factor for calculating the resultant product is a simple yet complex formula in the form of ---> (LUCK + EFFORT) x FATE = LOVE x TIME. For myself, this formula failed, u know y? Because i have LUCK and FATE, but my EFFORT = zero... hence the result is NEARLY zero. lolz... but hor, im increasing the value of EFFORT le. Im learning to plan for dates and face her with more confidence... heheehee.. :P

Finally i finished the stupid stockcheck today. knn one, i work so hard today sia, my engine burned le..-.-.. i now abit sort sort le, then the monitor also PERMANENTLY no colour liaoz... jin g y. Tomolo the commercial stockcheckers will come down to conduct the check le, i tink cfm will pass one, u know y? because i do one mah, how to fail sia? siao siao. Confidence level is at a new high le, dun know y leh, izzit because my room no fan le now feel damn hot? I dun realli know who is reading my blog everyday, but i tink corinne maybe saw my last few entries le, she alreadi 2 days nvr contact me le... i dun know whether this is good or bad, but im not missing her so badly le, because last time she disappear 2 yrs i also can tahan, so now 2 days nia should be okay ba. In life, sometimes you need to change urself to suit the environment, and i am now at a decision point on whether i wanna make a huge change to my life. Alot of factors will impact my final decision and i will be posting the outcome sometime later ba. ^_^. Life is beautiful. Life is holy. Life is at the same time veri vulnerable and brittle, so treasure it i must. No more low confidence days for me le, i dun wanna die as a man who have never truly lived. I might be 'abit' vulgar most of the times but i can be veri refined too. its my choice. When im with close frendz or the army guyz, i curse and swear alot... a little too much in fact. But when im with gals, i hardly use any vulgarities. Tat is wat i call a gentleman though its abit hypocriptic too. lolz. Im typing all these rubbish because im realli damn bored now tat i cant play games since my monitor is colourless le. So whoever is reading this, please tell corinne i still like her alot although we cant be together. ^_^

Tuesday. Evil bad day. Im veri suay today, morning i wake up, look into mirror then discovered i look abit rounder le.. -.-zzz... then hor, i walk to busstop then start to rain... thunderstorm somemore. nin nia a, then i whole body wet le, squeeze up the bus hoping lim chu kang area not raining... in the end, my camp got TORNADO storm sia.. knn. Tulanz, then i went for breakfast with my buddies.. and i got screwed by peter for something veri minor... then hor, uncle sam pressure us to finish the stockcheck by friday... wah kaoz.. then nvm lor, i tot i suck thumb can endure thru mah, but ah-yap so hardworking i cannot slack sia.. -.-
Worse thing is, when im going home, my silly shoes spoil sia... the sole fell out and im dragging my stupid shoes along... so paisei.. nabeiz... then i have to call my kid brother to bring my flip-flops down for me to change sia.. zzzz Today is a realli unlucky day ba... i abit sianz... wish tomolo will be better... :P

Monday. I hate tat word. -.-. Today i book in as usual in the morning and i worked like a dog today again... haiz.. i tot i can slack sia, but well, commercial stock takers are coming down this thurs to check our stocks, so we have to tidy up the stores and drugs... -.-. Its VERI VERI stressful trying to tally up the stocks and im also quite vexed with my private life too. I've always been indecisive and hence im still pondering whether i should stay as best frendz with her or juz flat out tell her i like her. Haiz, if u call me to continue being good frendz with her, im onli suffering more and more as the days go by. But then hor, if i pop the question also not right leh, now's not the time yet. I tink here tink there also no conclusion, so i guess i will have to slog through this period again le.. zzzz. Im feeling damn confident nowadays due to some unforseen powers aiding me, i walk straight and tall but my heart's damn tired le. I treasure her as a frend, but i cant live with her as just a frend.... complex rite? Anyways, sometimes i see the best solution is to simply put down and forget every single thing then fly to australia study to start life afresh. Tat's the feeling i get when i go overseas and tat's one of the reason im dying to travel. I realli feel she knows she's the one im stressing about and she gives me advice to go after gals... -.-... corinne ah corinne, dun like tat le lah, u know something then juz tell me, u cfm know i like you one leh. U tell me when going after gals need to have confidence and all those tips, but do u know i juz want to be with you? LAO TIAN YEH AH, WEI SHEN ME NI ZHE ME HEN XIN DUI WO AH? WO DUI TA SHI ZHEN XIN DE, WO YAO DAI TA DAO TIAN YA HAI JIAO...WEI SHE ME? WO DAO DI ZHUO CUO LE SHEN ME DONG XI? ...but i will still change myself lah, its true though, im still a guy who havent grow up. haiz..

Im writing this entry with a black and white screen (my stupid monitor spoiled T_T) and a black and white heart (its still beating, dun worry :P) . Yesterday i went out with moomoo again to go window shopping, and i send her home to hougang too. She's realli veri cute and i truly thank god for letting her come back into my life again, although this time as a good frend, not as a gal i wanna be with. I admit i still love her alot, but in my heart, i dun tink its possible between us le. In life, there's always someone who u love, but u can never be with her. And yesterday i chatted with her in msn at 2-3am ba, she told me alot about myself which i knew, but never tried to change. And guess wat, she knows me more then myself sia. She told me alot about myself that i never knew, so ya, yesterday i faced the music, and i tink its time i do something about it. My maturity went for a long holiday, and now i gonna recall the bugger back into existence. And to corinne i thank her sincerely for injecting some sense into me, im no more a fat bugger rotting in hell, im going to grow wings and fly to my own piece of heaven...(literally :P). I wont try to be a procrastinatist le, time is not of the essense as long as im making the effort. It will be long, but its definite. Well, i finally end these blog entry le. This will be the last time im blogging as 'him'. It will be taken over by another 'him' for the next entry. Lastly, i still wanna tell corinne ----> I LOVE U. We cant be together, but we can be realli realli good frendz..even best frendz. ^_^.

Today is a sunday nite, its quite late le, but im still blogging here sia. Hmm... tis few weeks buay pai lah, yesterday juz went singing with moomoo. Her singing not bad leh, but she say she hate her own singing..-.-... I went all the way to hougang to sing with her and she say her voice sucks... -.-.... But hougang the Kbox realli sux, damn lousy sia. Sing half way the stupid screen will hang one... kaoz... But still hor, the day quite fun lah... long time bo see moomoo le, she still as pretty sia.. :P. After singing with moomoo, i actually meeting ah-wei n the guyz to watch fantastic 4 one... but last min cancel le.. so i lan lan go home lor... Then when reach home is the normal stuff le. Play DOTA and TS online lor... no life sia... haha... a fat fark's life is destined to rot ba.. hmm. Edwin 'Thunder' Teo and sean and peter keep reminding me im fat sia.. kaoz.. they say is negative encouragement, can psycho me to lose weight.. -.-... they tink i stupid one ah? hahaha.. but they got a point lah.. i realli should lose some weights le... but i dun like to run leh... kaoz.. maybe tomolo book in then call someone drive car to try to bang me, maybe i will run ba... hahaha. Hao le, nothing much le. my mood not realli good now, so im juz trying to entertain myself by blogging tis entry.. -.-... ( Y cant she give me a chance sia... so many years le... haiz... suck thumb... gals are so hard to understand...)

Its been a long time since my last entry...exactly 2 weeks... well, i waited for her hint in her blog, but it seems i dun understand wat she means... haiz... maybe im realli too stupid le ba. ^_^ . But hor, i tink ignorance might be bliss in the end, because i dun tink she holds much feeling for me. im not low-confident lah, its juz the facts mah, i realli dun c any hints leh.. i guess she still juz treats me as a frend onli ba. hahaha. Dun worry bout me, cause i've learned to take things in my stride a long time ago le, so im not too sad lah. What cannot kills me onli makes me stronger mah, rite? Work wise im getting more n more slack le... god save my soul, im rotting in camp le... maybe its wat they call ORD mood ba..:P... Looking back, i realised my life actually only revolves around the same old things. im always repeating the same old routines the whole year round... i dun want that kinda of life, so most probably after my NS, i will travel around the world to see wat is out there. But the money will be a problem, maybe i go on holiday once every 3 mths? hmm... Everyone has their own problems, but for me travelling is a good way to de-stress ba. i like to look at the night sky in another country n tink of the ppl who i treasure in singapore. Are they looking at the same sky as me? Basically i like the feeling of coming home the most... its like a new start to ur life, wat u c n hear overseas will change ur perceptions of how things are in ur own life. Everyone seems so much fresher n changes is all around you... Its like travelling to the future ba... hehe. hao le lah, i dun write too long le ba... Im not a religious man but still, maybe god bless me from now on ba..( i dun know whether got god anot lah, but hopefully he still bless me no matter wat ba... haha. ^_-)

How do you know u r in love with a gal? Tis question always pops up between conversations... everybody have a different answer to tis simple question. My answer? Quite simple also... If i feel care for her, i will be worried for her safety if she goes home late at nite. Although smsing seems quite 'fan', but its juz a simple way to care mah. ^_-. Sometimes frendz can always go a further distance, ur heart have been broken b4, y not let me take u on a lifelong journey to show u wat is love actually? Im not a veri veri brave guy hence i also not sure whether u wanna go out with me anot. lolz, then i wait here wait there also abit silly rite? Give me a positive signal n i cfm will pop the question to u one. Im not like other guyz, seriously, let me tell u y im different.
1)Im fat, so i no other gals will snatch me from u.
2)Im poor, so no gals would want a pauper like me.
3)Im ugly, so no gals will want me to go out with them.
4)Im stupid, so i cfm wont cheat u.
5)Im nice, so u would be my little princess no matter where u are.
6)Im lazy, so i also certainly wont make the effort of going to know other gals cause its too tiring.
7)Im NOT a jerk, so i will NEVER EVER break ur heart.
8)I have a soft n cuddly body, so u will have a big n lively teddy bear with u whereever u go.
9)Im humourous, i can realli entertain n cheer u up.
10)Finally, im damn cute n big size, so who bully u i can KILL him/her. (Except ur parents...-.-)

See, im so good, it hurts. ^_^. U know who im toking about le lah, YES, it YOU! Im willing to let u hit me all the way, no matter wat happens, im willing to be there to let u beat...(unless u kill me lah, i die liaoz then cannot let u beat le...). But hor, i dun know how to tell u the truth, because im not sure whether u want a guy like me anot leh... wat do u tink? lolz... Try to hint abit in ur blog ba, i will be waiting... :P <----(Jason is damn gutless, but he's damn sincere leh, give him a chance lah... dun wait le lah... :P)

Im getting lazy... sssssssssssooooooooooo long then blog sia... but nvm, im going to write a composition tis time.. hehe... its nearly 2 weeks since i last blogged, n surprisingly nothing serious happened sia -.-....Lets start with work ba, im leading a realli slack life in the med ctr these days because im alreadi having the ORD mood liaoz.. im ORDing on december 24th! tis yr's christmas would mean so much to me... :P Im leaving the stupid SAF finally sia, all these days in the army have taught me alot of things though. No wonder they say guys tat went thru army r more mature lah, how to dun be mature when u have some crazy lamers tat scream at u for no reason watsoever of 2 yrs n 4mths? Even a healthy person will change when he/she everday TURBO tio kan by a bunch of crazy losers rite? Kaoz, i tell u all something, in army we are worms, but wait till we ORD, we will become DRAGONS liaoz.. then those tat bully us using their ranks will realli suffer when they meet us in society..wahahaha..DIE! Okay le, dun bitch about work le, we go on to finance. Im still as poor as ever, i sometimes realli wonder hor, if i got a girlfrend hor, she cfm will suffer with me one sia, i always so poor till cant even support myself every mth -.-...Then if she suffer i cfm will heartache one, so hor, y find a girlfrend to purposely make myself heart-pain leh? got logic rite? hehe, after i ORD, i tink im working liao le, i dun realli wanna study anymore le, damn sianz. Yesterday nite i was in camp doing duty mah, then hor, i was watching 'Jue Dui SUPERSTAR' with my campmates... the contestants r realli brave to go up stage sia, but they realli sing like pigs sia.. kaoz, i nearly died listening to the guyz sing, all cannot make it one, pui! The gals still quite ok lah, they sing mostly buay pai one although none are realli chio. :P Im tinking of joining nxt yr when im out of the army leh... dun know got chance anot leh... hmm, but hor, i realli respect one of the contestant leh, the guy is BLIND but he sings like an angel sia... he's a busker i always c in the streets one leh, but too bad he didnt get into the final 24... i tink its because of his disability ba, because all the guys sing n look like pigs....
Or izzit my ego acting up? hahaha, everybody cfm tink themselves sing better then the contestants one, but let me tell u one thing, my singing is REALLI REALLI BETTER THEN THOSE PIGS! WAHAHAHA <----(Jason went mad with pride again, haiz, y is he so haolian one? Buay tahan sia...T_T)

VERY long bo blog le.. hehe. tis few weeks i damn poor sia... T_T. kaoz.. my stupid handphone bill is $250 last mth sia... cb one, i go taiwan 1 mth nia, come back tio tis type of bomb = ="". I would have to slowly wait till nxt pay day then got cash to go out n have fun sia..zzzzzzz... c buay sianz... y is my life so cham one???! Last week friday hor, i saw something tat made my head start to tink sia. i was on a bus home from camp, there was tis pretty gal who was sitting in front of me. i didnt realli care much bout her until a aunty with a baby came onboard. tis gal actually gave up her seat for the aunty sia... wee you wee, i was realli taken aback sia, most of the pretty gals i see outside will die die never give up seat one lor... im realli realli impressed by her sia, long time bo see such a good n PRETTY gal liaoz.. lolz, but i dun n will never know her lah. its juz the act tat made me tink about singapore gals like her is realli rare le. It once again proves the point tat wat realli defines a gal is not looks, its wat she does in daily life tat takes my breathe away. ^_^. But men will always be men, we ALWAYS notice looks b4 everything. lolz, primary objective = chio anot, Secondary objective = figure good anot, Tertiary objective = personality good anot. haiz, i admit im also one of those guyz, but hey, im changing mah, give me time to change n detach myself from the flow n genes lah.. lolz. One question is always burning thru me sia, a veri simple n absolutely essential question: Y THE FARK AM I SO FAT AH????!!! Nin nia a, i reall i gam pua 'fei' sia.zzzzzz But nvm one, nxt week my frendz r coming back from taiwan le, so we can go sing kbox nxt friday le! wahaha SINGING ROX! I AM ZHOU JIE LUN! (I tok cock one lah, jay's fans pls dun burn my house hor...T_T)

May 27th. Today is the day when i met corinne for the first time 2 yrs ago. I still remember the time when i met her.. it was 845pm sharp. We met at a chalet tat my guitar club NPS organised. When i first saw her, she juz struck me as a sweet gal, but i will never know tat she will be the gal tat i love the most in my life. She was with me through my holidays b4 i was enlisted into the army, n she was there for me all the way through my BMT. I was so in love with her, but she had gary then... I can never forget her smile n a phrase which onli me n her knew... i enjoyed spending time with her, she's the onli gal tat have seriously stolen my heart in all my 22yrs. Even if i hate to admit it, my heart will always have a place for her. I tried to contact her via her old phone number, but its alreadi invalid. I have lost all contact with her now, i tink its for the better, we have to get on with our lives n ironically, tat's y i didnt realli wanna ask her frendz how she is.. haiz...

Saturday.... sian aaaaaaaaa....... today i almost whole day rot at home.... heng juz now evening got go west coast play lan games with the band of pig-dog frendz.. lolz... beauty world the mechmaster close shop liaoz.. kaoz, i went all the way there sia, then we lan lan go ginza play... = =" Heng bullbull at ginza playing, i reach there i straight away call him.. hehe.. bullbull is a net frend, i knew him in battlenet but have never met him b4. hmm, he damn steady n he looks veri fit sia.. haha, he also veri white like me. :P At least today i got to know a new frend.. haha. Then when we r leaving the shop, we realize it was raining outside sia... we had no choice lor, so we all switch on 'MOM' then turbo run to the busstop... lolz... heng i fit sia, didnt get realli wet.. o_o. Now life seems so normal liaoz... at least alot of things happening in my life is going uphill... but got 2 things nvr seems to move one leh.. = =.... im still as fat if not fatter then last time.... haiz... the other one is im still waiting for a chance to ask her to be my gf leh..... i wanna 'biao bai' liaozzzzzz.... ^_^... c when fr33 i ask her out then pop the question ba... wish me LUCK! :P

C buay long bo post liaoz... haiz... im getting lazi liaoz... hehe. Tis few days nothing realli serious happen le... although ytd i work like a dog in the med ctr. Ian N Gan are cb kias, put me alone in med ctr, im starting to dislike them more n more liaoz. Nin nia a, tell them not enough ppl they still go cluster fark... haiz, y pl nowadays so farked up one??? Nvm about tat lah, the day before i also fixed my sandbag le.. hehe, so happy sia, but i tink after 2 weeks will drop down again.. hahahah

Pissed is wat i am today... ST sent me on a last minute sunday cover... Sianz, normally i wont be angry one, but i alreadi went for 2 weekends cover last mth liaoz.... kaoz... nbz.. although one of them i got my frend to replace me, but i did it myself, but ST say in REALITY i didnt cover! Nin nia a, he last minute tell me i also go because i treat him as frend... but im starting to tink he's taking me for granted. Everytime he got thing i will help him, now he like tat arrow me... if its a normal weekend its still okay, BUT IT IS MOTHER'S DAY! CCB, I DUN HAVE A MOTHER IZZIT? Fark man, its none of my business one, kaoz, dun know y shoot till here... Gan say dun wanna go then can dun go, then WTF cant i say no? WTF AM I? ST say i can claim my off on any day, but come on lah, one year onli got one mother's day, its a son's duty to stay home to accompany her, but now i tio this fark shit thing liaoz, KAOZZZZZZZ.... im realli realli veri pissed off, im not targeting one guy to be angry with, but i juz cant damn swallow the whole thing man.. ST did came to tok to me about tis issue, but do u seriously tink i will juz let it go? A frend doesnt do tis to you? Im veri aware of his plight as our spec, but if u cant find someone, y arrow ME? Its realli damn unfair to me, i feel realli betrayed dude, i will always help u when u r in need, but now u r playing with my MOTHER'S DAY? I cant take it anymore, sad to say, tat's where the frendship ends... from now on, we r juz normal campmates, if u dun treat me as a frend, i shouldnt be the stupid fellow tat continue to uphold the silly believe tat our frendship is MUTUAL...

Tis week offically can stay out le.. lolz... i illegal stay out for 2 mths liaoz... lolz... Tomolo i doing duty le.. haha, so wont be back home for one day lor... zai.. i doing duty with my good bro sean. i also bringing PS2 to camp tomolo so i can play with peter n sean they all.. wahaha, wudi one.. i was tinking of buying some sausage n ham n bacon n eggs to cook at the med ctr.. lolz... machiam my house liaoz... hahaha.... but im realli glad tat we dont have a bunk now..lolz, then we all live at med ctr will contribute to our bond... Today uncle sam came back to work le, long time bo c him liaoz.. haha.. he juz came back from india mah, but he still the same old uncle sam.. haha :P I feel quite relaxed today sia.. hehe, finally overcame the dark clouds flooding my heart. ^_^. Tis few weeks, i've made some realli good frendz with some new guyz in the med ctr sia.. lolz, one of them is edwin, he is a old guy actually, but i seldom tok to him mah, so dun realli knew him.. haha, guess wat, he is also someone of the same character with me n ah-sean n peter... wahaha, zai, we all 3 click till cannot click.. lolz. I look forward to maintaining contact with these brothers after we ORD. These r wat i call frendz, not some stupid hypocritic asshole who deserves a backfist to the face... hee hee... :P

Tonite is a nite juz like any other.... but my something is stirring in my heart.... o_o? Im having a feeling tat is veri hard to describe... i dun realli know how to say it, but somethings always dun seem right one...heehee, maybe im juz too silly le ba. My whole life, i have been wanting someone who is perfect, but am i the perfect one in their hearts? lolz, i dun tink so, n wat can i do to change it? humans r born with the ability to change their own fates, n mine is to be the perfect man to that perfect her... T_T.. Did u know tat i realli realli love you? Sometimes things juz doesnt need to be said, love can be felt, if u feel it, y dun u tell me how u feel? Im slowly being devoured by my own emptiness n sense of loss, its a void in my soul tat nobody understands... there might be others that feel the same thing as me, but they are never wat i am... i am me. i am wat i am. And i want u to know tat im unique, as is my love for you... i cant say tat im the best person to love you, but wat i can promise you is, im the person who can give the best love to you...(我 真 的 很 想 你 。。。)

Todae monday sia, i off todae... lolz, whole day stay at home rot... wudi.. ^_^ .. hmm, todae is a farnny day sia.. usaully my frendz all would be playing DOTA with me one, but todae hor, got one of them PMS n pissed them all off...lolz, then all no mood play liaoz.. heng i fit, nvr play with them.. lolz.. im feeling abit sian sia, whole weekend n off day camp at home... zzz, i wanna go sing leh, but ah-wei now standby in camp liaoz, bo lang go sing with me..zzz... oh ya, by the way, im looking for my sassy gal's 'i believe' guitar score leh, anybody have pls tell me hor, i wanna go photocopy.. :P tomolo go back camp liaoz, sianz, gonna work again = =""... but good thing is, i suddenly have macdonald's big breakfast craving sia... lolz, tomolo maybe go buy one set go back camp eat as breakfast.. wahahah.. ZAI!

Today is Wednesday loh... but tis week abit shiong, cause i have to do friday duty then cover a parade tis saturday sia... sianz, but lan lan must go, i cant ask my frendz do all the work while i enjoy mah... hehe... As time goes by, i realised im among the more neutral guyz in my unit le.. things r starting to go abit wrong le, my unit the guyz starting to tell me stuffs about each other le... haiz, y everytime like tat one? i tot now im 'old bird' liaoz, things would go peacefully one leh... haiz.. I guess wat they say is right, nothing is perfect in tis world... wat pleases one will always pisses another... hehe.. ^_^.. but one thing is for sure, i wont let my frendz kill each other, frendship sometimes need a maintenance officer mah.. :P. hmmmm, nxt week is 29th le sia, peifen's bday liaoz, i dun know wat to buy for her leh... sianz, maybe sat go shopping ba....but sat going to sing also leh.... how ah?? .....!!!! heck lah, i go sing on sat, then sunday go shop ba... lolz, i monday off mah, but monday i also wanna go out leh.... TURBO go out for 3 days sia, i tink i go pawn underwear get some xtra cash ba... V = =""V.....i tink better do some financial planning ba, im starting to get REALLI low on cash liaoz... haiz... im a 'bai jia zi' sia, turbo anyhow waste money, must do some reflection on myself liaoz... im now listening to TONG HUA by GUANG LIANG, i saw the MTV liaoz, now im tinking hor, izzit possible to do the same thing for the gal i love leh... but i dun know how to play piano leh, guitar can hor? lolz... i tink i go find the score for the song now ba, must learn tis song then can play for the gal i like mah... lolz, hopefully she uses starhub line ba, if not veri expensive hor, she will KILL me sia.. lolz... then realli 'tong' ki lan liaoz... :P

Sometimes i tink hor, life is juz a fleeting image. In the blink of an eye, im going to ORD in december liaoz... i still dun know wat to do when i come out leh... haiz... i abit sux sia. hmm, i tink im also going to either taiwan or hong kong or bangkok after i ORD sia... lolz... i MAYBE going with ah-wei, jer they all sia... lolz... go there play n have fun, relax abit mah.. wahaha.. This few days i still playing DOTA with the guyz sia.. haha, now ST also playing liaoz... so fun sia... everyone playing DOTA sia.. wahahah... I dun realli know wat to type about liao sia... today med ctr also same lor, super busy sia.... um... wat else ah.... hmm, ya i nearly lost my camp pass sia.. = ="" heng i found it in time, if not i cant even book out sia.. zzz.... ok le, i tink bitch till here ba, dun tok le... i go DOTA loh....BB :P

Tis few days nvr post because im quite pissed with blogger.. kaoz, so damn laggy.. zzz.. wanna blog also difficult.. anyway, things tat happened tis few days r not realli significant lah.. but there's still quite a few points to note though.. ^_^... lets c, i've been tinking alot tis few days... im getting fatter le... haiz, i eat too much in taiwan liaoz, now i starting to pump up to avatar size le... T_T, damn sian sia, i also dun know wat i doing sia, kaoz, then when i wanted to play guitar, i realised i've forgotten how to play le... wat is happening to me sia, im degenerating into a useless imbecile sia...zzzz... i tink im starting to give up the fight to be useful le, juz let me rot ba... hahaha... a man with dreams he cannot fulfill is a man who lives with remorse all his life... since i dun wanna live with the guilt, i'd rather be a man with no dreams ba-->( Jason's brain is going thru a down period, repairs will be done in time to come..)... Wat exactly is love? i realli dun understand... maybe mankind was not made to understand after all, attempting to grasp the true meaning of tis entity will only cast a ever-widening void in the phenomenon called life... life, o life....( im realli down...)

hmm, today im blogging again.. eheeh... lets c, yesterday nite i went to VCH for NPS's VIRTURSO concert. It was not bad lah, but actually im going for it more as a gathering then to appreciate music--> wahahah :P. Now NPS is realli big with alot of members sia, not like during my time, kaoz, only like 30 ppl nia... = ="" Bo hua one leh, ppl go VCH(Victoria Concert Hall) perform, i go LT26 perform -_- sianz.. haiz... well, i guess whenever i go back, i will surely c some ppl tat i dun realli like---> yuanliang lah, james lah etc... but got quite a few new faces le, my bro edward n my disciple jing wen also graduated liaoz, now not much frendz left inside the club sia.. haiz, i guess my time is over le ba, hehe. After the concert, i wanted to go home together with yanz, yunz n fun one, but ah-pin suddenly called me to go lao pa sa eat. i wanted to send yanz home one, but since i long time bo c ah-pin, so i go eat with him lor, long long one time mah. hehe... pin going to ORD soon le, hmm, he still same as last time lor, not much change lah. i eat wanton mee at lao pa sa, then after we ate, stupid jere call me faster go home play DOTA, wahaha, so i immediately took cab home with ah-pin... cab fare $15. i got abit the wudi feeling sia... haha. While i was playing hor, during 2 am like tat, i suddely feel veri sick sia, kaoz, i run to toilet to vomit sia, 2 times somemore. then i feel feverish too, sianz, all the wanton mee fly into toilet bowl... = ="... but heng i fit sia, turbo run to toilet bowl, if not i have to do cleaning le... HENG AH..... ^_^. Then tis morning wake up feeling better le. hmm, i tink nothing much to say le ba, but tis few days my mood is so-so onli, tonite im going to bk in le, hehe, cant wait to c my bros in camp. ALE LA BIS TA BABY! ^_-

Wah.. finally came back VERI early tis morning at bout 2am sia.. hehe... its good to be home, its going to be another essay again... hehe... lets c, hmm, taiwan was quite fun, but there's some assholes there as usual... the camp was quite laid back, but the ppl there aint ur typical friendly guyz... lets not tok bout the bad stuffs, taiwan was quite fun lah, though its a bit dangerous. the news everyday got ppl die one, the politicians tok halfway will fight one sia, gan violent, i tink one of these days they will bring parang knife to parliament = =""... My RnR was in taipei, the first nite i went to shilin night market to shop. i bought a veri nice leather bag, n eat till i wanna vomit sia... haha, but no regrets, the food there is WONDERFUL... hehe, but i gained some weight
= =, i must lose them by nxt may, i dun wanna be lennet... T_T .. second nite i went to ximen ding to shop, i didnt buy anything, cause all the stuffs there DAMN expensive one... the last day is free day, i whole day rest in hotel room, cause im broke liaoz.. haiz, but the gals there mostly presentable one, some r pretty, the rest r cute, onli 5% is dinosaur... hehe, some gals there r realli realli pretty sia, but none is as pretty as the one in my heart lah.. hahaha, u should know who she is rite? ^_^ Then when i was on the plane coming back, there's tis VERI VERI pretty air-stewardess tat chatted with me sia, i tot i dreaming, but SHE chatted me up sia cause she was sitting infront of me = =""... she's realli friendly n we toked bout everything sia.. hehe, she told me bout where she live in taiwan, n say she liked singapore's hainanese chicken rice lah... bla, bla, bla... she say she wanna go sentosa play, but noone go with her = ="". But we were juz chatting mah, i didnt take her phone number, simply because i dun realli wanted to, she's pretty, so? Looks doesnt mean anything lor, i've learnt my lesson liaoz... Once i reach home, i play DOTA liaoz, cause i realli missed dota sia... hehe... Then tis evening, i went to meet yanz cause she's going for interview. Rarely c yanz wear formal one, she today look so pretty in formal wear sia.. hahah.. :P after tat, we went for a movie called house of fury---> the movie damn farnny sia, the ah-peh can fly vertically up one sia.. hahaha, veri lame sia, but a veri enjoyable show nonetheless, hehe... then after the movie, we toked till i forget im taking the train to boon lay.... = =" but nvm lah, anyway i wanted to send yanz home anyways, long time nvr send her home liaoz... hahaha.// Today quite happi lah, i bought an pink aquarius egg for yanz in taiwan mah, at least she likes it ba. ^_^ Conclusion: today is a good day, at least i did wat i didnt do b4 i go to taiwan, ^_^. Sat going to sotong's bday liaoz, but dun know wat to buy leh, hmm.... then sunday going for virturso concert at VCH, my scheldule so packed sia.. hahah... ^_^ wah, i need to go play DOTA le... heehee, tomolo then blog ba... NITEZ!!

2 more hrs then i have to b at airport liaoz. hee... then im flying off at 1030pm... taiwan, here i come liaoz... When i come back, i tink got alot of stuffs to do liaoz. hmm, but im still quite undecided wat to do leh, how leh? nvm, i zai one, reach there got 21 days for me to plan.. wahaha.
ok liaoz, go airport le, haiz, c u in 3 wks time ba.. ^_^

one more day then fly to taiwan liaoz, haiz, today i went back to camp early in the morning for the stupid taiwan flight briefing. Gan sianz sia, i nearly fell asleep.. haiz.. now im listening to li sheng jie's 'yuan zou gao fei', hehe, i wonder i can bring which gal go yuan zou gao fei sia...(?_?) haha. I intend to rot at home whole day one, but yunz suddenly call me out for dinner sia. I met her at city hall mrt---> (she's late) , then we went funan eat. Yunz say wanna eat vietnam food, but the restaurant close down liaoz... kaoz, she tua me sia.. duh..= =" In the end, we lanlan go down eat food court lor... The korean food there buay pai sia, quite nice, its opened by koreans too. hahaha... Then when coming home tat time hor, i was taking bus when i saw guess who? JANET again sia.. haha, dun know y leh, tis few days like turbo c her like tat sia. The world so small sia, but if i c her again tomolo hor, i tink maybe i owe her money in my last lifetime sia... wahahah... then when reach home life's quite normal lor, i play dota with the guyz for one last time before i come back 3 wks later... i will miss DOTA sia... T_T But at least now got one thing is on my schedule once im back lah, april 10th is my guitar club NP Strings annual VIRTUSO concert lah, haha, im going to c how my frendz r doing there cause im old liaoz, must go c the young ones how liaoz.. lolz...but i dun know go with who leh, haiz, ask a few people liaoz, they all say dun know---> (>_<"") Who is fr33 then ah? Hehe, maybe tis yr's concert i will try to perform ba, im tinking of fulfilling my dream from young on tat day leh. U know wat my dream is? lolz, its quite stupid lah, im tinking of playing n singing a song for the gal i like who is sitted among the audience, then i will give her flowers n tell her how much i love her loh.. wahahaha, dramatic rite? lolz, but tat's wat im willing to do for the gal i like. hehe, dun laugh leh, its realli silly lah..@_@... Haiz, but cannot like tat sia, cause its a formal concert, so maybe family concert can try tis stunt ba, in the mean time i lan lan suck thumb wait lor... wahahaha, but i believe one of these days i will fulfill tis silly dream of mine, then can bring her 'yuan zou gao fei'.....o_O

Monday liaoz, haiz, wednesday going off liaoz... today i nua at home whole day, not realli feeling well. Wanted to go out c movie today one, but i realli dun feel well sia... haiz...i tink no chance liaoz, i going taiwan liaoz sia... 3 weeks is not a long time, but neither is it short. hmm, maybe i use back same mentality ba, noone can stop time, i will finally come home one. ^_^ . I went to jp juz now go buy some daily stuffs for the trip.. haiz, im a last minute person sia.. lolz. I met tdog n jer there, jer going for haircut sia, he go the jean yip cut hair, come out machiam nvr cut like tat = =" ---> $21 somemore, kaoz, waste money. Me n tdog juz loiter around jp while waiting for tat cockster finish cut hair. coincidentally, i saw janet sia.. wahaha, yesterday juz eat long john nia, today meet again,lolz. She say she stomachache because of yesterday's long john, which in turn causes me to tink maybe tat's y im also not realli feeling well... wahahah... after tat, i go home liaoz loh, getting more n more sick liaoz. hmm...yar, nearly forget, i saw the 'evonne xu' look-alike sia! I have a VERI big crush on her sia, hahah, but she's like 25+ and i know its juz a crush lah, wahaha, i know who i REALLI like lor, dun worry. ^_^ . But her eyes realli big n bright sia, like tat stars in the skies leh.. :P... haha, ok lah, enough bout her liaoz, she's juz a crush lah.. lolz... u should know who i realli like now right? haha, not corinne liaoz. hmm, but toking bout her hor, she recently deleted her friendster acc leh, wonder wat happened to her liaoz sia, maybe she got hurt again? hahaha, but nvm lah, i so kaypoh for wat rite? hahaha....i going play DOTA now, hehe, nitez! ^_^

Woohoo, today is fun sia.. haha.. went out with wei n ying n janet go sing at kbox... lolz.. i zai one, reach there straight away turbo sing liaoz.. wahahah, almost non-stop somemore... hmm, ying n janet both pro one, they sing till the room machiam their house liaoz.. wahahah, u c liao also buay tahan, but i like it tat way sia, because i also like tat one mah.. ^_^ hahaha, i always remove shoes, cross leg, put leg around lah etc... Dun believe can ask ah-wei, lolz, i veri lap sap one. *_*. But i today sing till nearly go up lorry sia, damn shag singing alot of songs leh... hmm, i wonder which song i will sing for the gal i like when i wanna tell her how i feel sia... hmm... Ah-wei today also abit pro one, bring the purple bikini walk here walk there = ="".. i still remember yesterday i went with him go orchard far east to buy the bikini, so paisei, the shop all zharbo leh, the salesgal is chiobu somemore... we walk around far east gather courage first, then since i most garang i storm into the shop first... haha, dun need wait one, zai. All the gals inside look at us like we r aliens sia, i realli afraid later they call police catch me..T_T... the gals there quite frendly lah, still get ALL the purple bikinis show us then ask us want wat design one.. haiz, but when they ask us want pad anot, we both suddenly stunned sia---> wat is pad?? (?_?). But the bikini i choose with jack one lah, so i tink ying cfm like one because my taste so good rite? :P... Tis few days before i go taiwan actually quite happening sia, i went to double-o to club on saturday, n its quite fun lah, though i dun realli know all the gals with us except for winnie--->not pooh hor. Christine is quite cute lah, but abit too overly sweet le ba.. ahaha, she is ching-ching's dream gal somemore sia, i wonder the king-kong will win her heart anot..hahaha... anyway, double-0 the place quite cool lah, but the guyz there r realli damn despo one sia, the guyz beside our table come over try to hook up to the gals one our table sia... haiz, i was 90% to being drunk liaoz, so cant do anything sia.. heng got ah-wei, but we also lan lan, our guyz all lame onez, all i dun know one.. = ="".. Watever it is, double-o is a place full of wolves in sheep skin, none of them is as good as me.. wahahah, im the purest guy ever to step thru there---> (Tok cock one lah,hahaha :P) On the whole tis week quite fun lah, but its quite taxing on the wallet lah.... k liaoz, i bitch so long liaoz, machiam composition sia.. hahaha... hopefully tomolo will go out c movie with yanz.. hehe, pray hard loh...^_^

Today is a veri busy day, my med ctr got into trouble over some store issues n we have to salvage the situation which means i work all the way up till 7pm... = =" shag sia. Haiz, now my room is in a mess liaoz, yesterday i was punching round my sandbag for fun, when the whole thing juz flew off from the ceiling = ="" i got so powerful meh? y everytime the thing will fly off one? kaoz, me damn suay sia... now i can onli fix the stupid thing back when i return from taiwan.. tis is realli sickening leh. -_- maybe i go buy another sandbag tat STANDS on the floor one, so wont fly. ^_^. My face already started peeling liaoz, hopefully will faster finish 'transformation' because tomolo im going to double O to celebrate a frend's frend birthday... wahahah.. tomolo is havoc day! Tis is my last time going clubbing before going to taiwan sia, so must enjoy myself fully. woohoo... The best thing is, when im clubbing, i can temporarily forget all troubles n drink to my heart's content...hehe..hmm, tomolo dun know wat time met ah-wei leh, i go call him ask... nitez... ^_^

Dun know y leh, i now have a feeling of sianness.. haiz... im going to taiwan soon, though i wanna go there play hor, i dun realli like the tot of leaving singapore for 3 weeks sia... hmm... one more thing sia, i ganna XTREME sunburn liaoz... my face n neck all ganna sia, now all red n sore..T_T... i was covering the hendon camp thingy mah, then i 'accidentally' fell asleep.... the sun slowly shifted position n when i wake up, im fried...T_T... Y like tat one? how i ask her out like tat... wah lan a, i red like lobster sia, go out with her sure tio kio one. = ="" Haiz, maybe god like to play tricks on me ba, before i go taiwan i wanted to ask her wat i asked before, but now become lobster liaoz, ask lan ah? Maybe like tat better ba, if not i ask liaoz she dun tok to me then i suck thumb sia... there's alot of things i wanna say to her, but i realli dun have any chance to tell her, my house also no phone somemore, whole family survive on handphone... haiz... yyyyyyyyy? If SMS her also not sincere, call her also cannot, meet her also cant... wah lau a.... tis is wat they call lan lan suck thumb ah...
jin g y, now my face starting to peel liaoz, the burnt skin all starting to come down liaoz... i look like monster now T_T... Not 'SWUAI' anymore... *SOB*... But the good thing is the skin not so painful liaoz, last 2 days so painful sia, the skin veri hot n red, now better liaoz. Hopefully when i go taiwan hor, the face recover liaoz... hehe, but now got one thing suddenly pop up liao, after the skin peel, ONLI my face n neck will be tanned, the rest of my body is still not so tan... i tink i go bang wall ba, end life now better then go out let people beat to death...T_T

Juz went to watch HITCH. Hmm, its a nice show lah, i quite enjoy the movie.. lol, its quite farnny too... but tomolo sianz, must go for cover at hendon camp liaoz, cant go hm tomolo = =".. Tuesday is jojo's birthday ktv session, so i lan lan must go--->i cant go home on tuesday too!!! Aiyoh, gan pua sian leh, 2 days cant be home like i am now.. haiz... sianz, y life like tat one? The days r counting down liaoz, 10 days then i will b on the plane liaoz... im quite happi to take a break from the things in singapore but there's still a thing bugging my heart... u know who im toking bout lah---> not corinne = =""... Hopefully when i ask her out for one last time she will agree to go out with me ba... wahahaha.... (die die must try lor..) ok liaoz, dun bitch liaoz, gonna book in liaoz.. NITEZ

Yesterday was a veri veri tiring day....the day b4 i did duty, then yesterday book out from camp then have to rush hm to change cause im meeting yunz n yanz they all for dinner... heng im a nice guy sia, a clerk frend of mine offered to send me home sia, if take bus i surely late one. :o but i reached there early sia.. -_-"".. yanz say she b there at 6pm, but reach onli at 7+++.... i 'patrol' around the career fair at suntec sia, i tink maybe i can go there be security guard liaoz... woohoo.. anyway, when we meet up, i ganna scolding by jie-en for nothing.. T_T sianz one, once meet straight away tio scolding, y my life so cham one? haiz... but yesterday still quite ok lah, at least got yunz n yanz there lor, they nvr realli bully me lah..(but still got bully me..) We had pizza at pizza hut, but i still not full sia, but i dun dare say, if not later tio scolding again.. haiz... then when going home hor, heng jie-en n yuyun go take bus home ah.. wahahah, left me, isabella n yanz take mrt.. ^_^. finally can get some peace sia...:P then reach home at around 11pm ba, lolz, though i shag like dog liaoz, i still play DOTA till 4am sia... WUDI!. Heng i fit sia, if not i alreadi permanent resident at woodbridge liaoz. hehe... Then today i whole day camp at home play game... wahahah... my lifestyle is realli realli unhealthy sia.. hehe, but im still proud of it cause ITS MY LIFE! #_#

Today going to do duty again. haiz... abit sian sia, turbo do duty tis week... hmm... now veri early here sia, onli 6.15am nia. Dun realli know wat to write about leh, lets c....sat i going singing with jer they all, hahaha, long time nvr sing liaoz, wonder if i can still sing as well? Im leaving for taiwan on 16th of march, will onli be back by 7th april. At least i get 3 wks off from the normal routine n i realli hope tis trip will reenergised by long burnt out batteries. hehe. Things r looking quite bleak in the BGR department, lolz, nothing new tis few day, i've given up yet again. = =V. But not my fault my, she dun wanna go out with me lah. tiu....ok lah... gtg liaoz, now going to book in liaoz. ^_^

My frendz n i r getting better at DOTA liaoz.. wahahah, we play nearly everynite since i can stay out now. WAHAHAH.. WUDI! The dark circles r getting darker liaoz, im beginning to look like a panda liaoz... haiz... suck thumb ba, wanna play game then must endure all tis...-_-"" Yesterday morning hor, i saw a single pimple starting to form on my face leh... kaoz.. at the middle of the nose somemore.. pui... but i wudi one, i turbo wash face n care for the stupid spot, now going down liaoz, wahahah... me pro at killing pimples liaoz. ZAI...
hmm, wat else to say leh... ya ya, i nearly forgot, now im realli into 2 song s sia, veri nice songs n realli says wat i feel now.^_^. first is Ai Cheng's 'Ai Shi Ru Ci Bu Rong Yi' , second is Liu Zhong Yi's 'Shi Lian Biao Chian'..
Both r realli nice songs, n they realli have meaning sia... ^_^ I also bought a pair of new handwraps! very nice one leh, red adidas wraps! WUDI, now i can box fashionably liaoz! heehee... but im not throwing away my old pair, got feelings one leh... i will still use the old one, rotate schedule lor! heh heh, im so smart rite? I was tinking about the yellow n blue ones though... lolz.. to those who knows me, my mentality is the same with gals, when i have tis, i tink of tat, maybe u call tat flirt or tat im a insecure guy lah, but have u ever tot wat if one of them realli had been with me? noones knows wat i am when u havent even try me. ^_^. Im honest n i know im such a guy, so i might as well tell the whole world tat lor. Im born tis way, i cant change it myself, so maybe SOMEONE will change it for me..*_*

Neh neh.. i juz got trashed in DOTA... pui... they lame one... use lame heroes... -_- __ Damn shag sia... yesterday nite onli slept for 4 hrs... yesterday i duty mah... so i nvr come home... i send a patient to NUH from 6pm to 3am leh... jin g y... duty sux... i nearly up-lorry sia... tiu... >_<"" Im kinda delirious now lah, so wat im typing might not make much sense... i dragged myself up to finish tis entry so tat ppl like U knows wat's happening in my life.. hehe.. If u're not interested then u wouldnt be reading tis, would u?? ^_^ now now, lets recount wat happened today... morning i got up n collect breakfast at 7 am, then i 'nua' around the med ctr up till lunch time, when i went to throw rubbish, then at 1230pm, i hide in the lecture room n zzz...BUAY TAHAN LIAOZ!!! i need to go for OPERATION BOMB IRAQ liaoz... the goods already at custom checkpoint liaoz... i now need to go 'unload' liaoz... BYeZZZZZ

Im VERI tired today... zzz.... yesterday i went for range, we end only at 10pm sia... when i reach camp, i have a choice to either book out n take cab home, or stay in camp n book out the nxt morning.... i took option 2. i slept in med ctr till like 745am tis morning, when i was on the bus home im feeling realli shag like dog alreadi. haiz...but the good thing is i monday off sia, bad news is noone is going out with me...-_-"" sianz.. ah-wei n richard book in liaoz, all the other guyz either school or in camp. I tink monday suck thumb camp at home better ba. Hot sia, nowadays the weather damn hot, my aircon spoil somemore... jin g y.... lousy aircon, got money i sure buy new air con .... >_<" tiu, now my life is like waiting for something to happen sia, dun know wat big thing will come into my life leh.... Maybe tomolo i go orchard walk walk alone ba, most probably will pick up $5000... wahahaha

Jin G Y.. haha... the phrase is so catchy sia.. wahaha.. its a phrase from the CD-Pro2 Spoof... wahahaha... Tis Week is damn busy sia... im having range tis week so everything is so hectic man... i have to work at med ctr N go for range refresher at the same time...god, im realli damn shag tis week sia...Yanz msg me tis noon to join them for chingay on sat...i wanna go leh, but i have range -_-" jin g y... kaoz... n im the onli cock whose going to shoot on sat, the rest of the guyz r shooting on friday... damn... haiz... sianz, anyway, since im going for it, i might as well get a marksman ba, i know i can do it one... One thing is for sure now, im going to burn my sat till midnite... haiz... sian ah... im going taiwan liaoz, but i still have some unfinished business here sia... Tis few weeks i've been learning some new songs liaoz, woohoo, i juz learned lin junjie's 'hai pa' wahahah... wudi! I LONG time nvr go ktv sing liaoz... sianz, the last time i went was like 2 weeks ago sia... im getting a bit rusty liaoz... jin g y... now already so late liaoz sia... i tomolo need to book in in the morning leh, i secretly stay out one..haha.. if get caught maybe will go jail, but who cares? A man must have a limitless heart so as to contain all the troubles n problems tat is thrown at him... hehe... 男人的心胸，应该容得下天下。。。

Gong xi fa cai! Tomolo chinese new yr liaoz, happi sia, going to b rich liaoz...wOOtz....hehe, song sia. Nowadays i always play DOTA at nite with a few 'zhu peng gou you'... haha.. hmm, time flies veri fast sia, i also dun know wat to do liaoz, i dun wanna rot here till i die leh... T_T... Yesterday i spoke to yuyun online regarding some things, n i guess she do have some point there, i realli didnt do much for 'her'.. how i expect ppl to accept me easily? So in the end i still suck thumb blame myself lor... haiz ,dun tok bout tat liaoz, today is suppose to b CNY eve, so i should b happi lor. Wat past is past, i cant realli change the facts mah, so i have to get on with life lor...(dun know whether got hope anot ah...) I tink mostly no hope one lah...hehe.. ^_^... Life is quite relaxing now sia, i tis week whole week off leh, i realli wanna go singing lor, but noone wants to go with me..(i tink..) i maybe wanna go orchard shoppping also.. hmm... i tink tis week my wallet will b veri light sia... i wanna buy alot of stuffs lor, things like Ipod mini, Levi's jeans, Digital camera...etc... kaoz, even if i got $5000 also dun know enough anot ah... too many things to buy liaoz, but too little cash... CAI SHEN YE, pls bless me with ALOT of money tis yr hor.. hehe...i not greedy one, juz 5 million dollars enough liaoz. :P

Today is a cursed day day sia, i tink my frend dev did something wrong yesterday sia, if not how come he do duty got so many casualties one...kaoz... today i nearly died from overworking sia, though i saved 2 life... sianz... one is a motor-bike accident n the other a heat cramp case... -_-" Now im typing tis before i go home sia, i feel realli shag n hopefully tomolo will b a better day.. ^_^. Hmm,i realli wanna eat the mee siam at the canteen now leh... tis morning had it liaoz, now got craving again.... but i cant go lah, my weight is shooting up faster then the falling stars sia... haiz, y must b so fat one? Being fat is realli boring, though ppl tell me im cute hor, i still dun wanna b so fat, because will die from alot of diseases!!! T_T.. i dun wanna die....*SOB*SOB*... Hmm, regarding the question yesterday hor, i tink i go NTU better lah, strike out so early on my own also not so secure mah. hehe...O_o Alot of things also c thru liao loh.... ^_^. Nxt wk is chinese new yr liao, so will b veri sianz, although will b rich lah.. hehe... i can finally get my ZEN micro liaoz!! YEAH!!! Then i can sell my old creative MUVO to my sis for a profit!!! WAHAHAHA..*EvIL^SmiRK"..

Wootzzz... im doing duty now n yet im still online typing tis.. its only means one thing---> IM SLACKING..hahah.. anyways, im feeling a bit upset now lor... haiz...u ask me wat's causing me grieve? hehe... i tink she knows lah...:P Today was a veri busy day sia... nearly died from mental stress. kaoz, so many ppl report sick sia -_-"" gan tulanz sia, all chao geng one. I even got one reservist coming back to declare he's gay sia... sianz, i still cant 4get the way he looked at me...eeee .T_T. One of my good bro peter went overseas to india liaoz, he wont b back for 3 mths sia, now who go eat nasi lemak in the morning with me ah? Another bro is going to brunei soon, which means i need to book in on my own liaoz, which in turn means---->money lost!!! .... Sianz, nowadays the 'fist' ABIT tight, still waiting for the damn payday.. hehe.. yar, nearly 4get to tell u, i met a reservist today who offered me a position in his company when i ORD leh... im sure he isnt evil, so now im considering whether to continue go NTU or work at his company... haiz... but hor, working at his company requires frequent overseas assignment leh, like tat i cant c singaporean pretty gals liaoz... sianz... ^_^

Wahahaha.. today is yan's birthday sia... i juz came back from her chalet. She seems happy today, which in turn makes me happy...^_^... The only spoilers of the day is big-fat-short-lennet n hip-hop-dog adam n his gf.. Kaoz... the fark-shit lennet only know how to sit n eat... i juz realised there's a guy who is more fat fark then me sia... he even have the cheek to command me to BBQ food n DELIVER it into the ROOM for him... Let me tell u tis, if today not her birthday, i surely fark him till his dick spoil sia... kaoz... tua lamer... __ I hated lennet rite from the start liaoz, he has been a pain in the ass all along, i wonder how he managed to evade the butcher's knife till now sia... ^_^. Now it's adam's time... tat piece of shit is realli too much man... he only know how to lay down on the bed n hug his ugly gf... we the guyz r doing work setting fire n trying to make yan's bday a success while he only 'nua' there. Tell u something, a man's worth is reflected on his actions, adam is definitely not a man, she's a ah-qua..HAHAHAHa...I dun know lah, but i realli find him disgusting, hopefully when he goes NS he will die inside... hahaha*eViL^SMiLe... sometimes i tink tis 2 disgusting guyz should search within their souls, they have been commiting so many atrocities.. juz dun let me c them outside... assholes..__ Yanz, if u r reading tis hor, pls dun angry can? i know they r ur frendz lah, but tis blog is machiam my diary lah, so i write wat i feel mah... so if u read liao tulanz hor, dun lah.... ^_^.. hehe... remember nxt week we go sing k? *_*

Its been a veri long time since i updated.. its again due to my laziness...hahahah.... yesterday i juz went singing with yanz n april...hmm.... their singing is not bad lah, but i tink i sang the most thruout... hahah, typical me again, microphone-napper :P... I've decided to change my style liaoz, i tink i will try to adopt a more manly style, short spiky hair with short stubbles. But i still cant wear contact lenses leh, kaoz, dun know y leh, maybe i should try somemore lor, contact lenses more comfy.....or is it?? ?_? Life is always like tat one sia, old one dun go, new one dun come... hmm, though im a veri emotional n nostalgic person, life has forced tis fact onto me... i now know sometimes old things will rot n need to b thrown away.... its the same for love too, i guess its time i throw away those memories liaoz.. hehe.. i realli intend to do tat now because of wat yanz said yesterday... i always say, but nvr do. i know she's rite... I should look forward to the future instead of living in the past... T_T Bye memories....

wah... im getting incosistent with updating tis blog liaoz... haiz... :P Anyway, yesterday b4 i booked in, i saw the channel variety show 'top fun'.. n guess wat, i saw the asshole of sg idol.... the gladiator guy who declared in his website tat he is the most handsome guy in the world... wat an asshole man.... haiz... maybe he is suffering from some unknown illness, but i tink he have a serious problem on his hands... he seems to tink he is god's gift to mankind but wat he realli didnt know is tat he's juz another piece of shit... im not always tis critical about a fellow homo-sapian but i seriously tinks he is still stuck in the monkey phase of human evolution... haiz... everybody is laughing at his stupidity n hopelessness n he tinks it is because he's famous... god save tis forsaken soul... but acting silly has it's limits... the farker actually exposed himself to the judges, i mean wat farking sound man will do tat on national tv?? wtf is tat idiot tinking?? i guess its juz sooner or later tat cockanathan will get walloped in the streets lah... singapore now has a single enemy, he's now an enemy of the state... hehehehe... :P ( wat i juz typed is juz my own opinion, if u realli tinks he is cute, immediately look for a psychologist or seek neural therapy.... hahaha)

happy new year! hehe... finally new year liaoz... song sia, i wonder wat's going to happen in 2005 leh?? hmm.. i know one thing for sure, i wont trust gals again! hehe.. woohoo, im being bluffed by a gal again man, i dun wanna say her name lor, but i have seen thru her liao, she ONLY comes to me when something bad happens to her... im kinda like a bomb-shelter.. hmm... i wonder if nxt time she comes back, will i still willingly be the bomb shelter anot leh?? Anyway, i realli hope tis yr i can FINALLY slim down... im REALLI REALLI getting fatter every year sia... kaoz.. im a pig in disguise man. So 2005, pls help me lose the flab can?? hehe :P
once i get to normal size, i tink i will live happier sia.. although they say fat also can live happily... hmm... y they say tat ah?? (?-?) Wahaha, i juz bought a new beanie todae sia, but wtf man, i look like shit in it... duh, another 25 bucks wasted... damn... i farking look like a nun in tat thingy.. sianz... __ i tink i stopping here liaoz, maybe c when i feel more normal then i update ba...

i finally realised y i cant go after her again liaoz... its because im fearful of being hurt again n i juz cannot take it when she goes on n on about her bfs n ex-bfs.... i realli cant listen to all tat simply because i still feel for her, at least i sorted tat out. I cant go on like tis with her, its juz too much in the long run lah, so i might as well cut off everything with my own hands lor... no doubt i still like her alot, but fate juz can let us b together, so i might as well b cruel to myself, its better then the prolonged pain.. i finally tot everthing thru liaoz, one thing is still hanging in the balance... do u tink i can go after her again? the possibility of us being juz frendz is non-existent, so please give me some clue as to wat to do k? Hopefully the one reading tis entry will give me some answers... thks... ^_^

i juz finished the book 'Da Vinci's Code'... its realli nice. ^_^ Christmas passed without much hassles n new yr's day is round the corner loh... so fast rite? times realli flies man... Another yr passes n 2005 here we come! Hehe... new yr resolution is simple... try to make $5000 bucks from business lah, so when i ord hor, got capital to start a small business lah... Hmm, i only have a rough idea of wat im realli going to do, though im veri determined to start no matter wat... i know ppl tink im naive to tink business is easy to start, but i have a passion for earning money mah, even if fail nvm lor, can try again one.... hhehe... *_* Dun know whether i can earn my first million by 25 yrs old anot leh... haiz... nvm ba, maybe 30 yrs old ba... :P Tis new yr im also tinking of changing my phone liaoz, maybe i buy sony-ericsson phone better, always nokia veri boring sia... hmm.... dun know wat model to buy leh... i also wanna buy some jeans n shirts too, levi's sounds good hor?? ^_^ i also need some nice sneakers too, my old ones going to 'ORD' liao ! Seriously hor, all tat realli costs a bomb hor? haiz... i tink minimum also need 500+ bucks... hopefully god of fortune smiles on me nxt yr, let me get ALOT of cash!! hehe... ^_^ ( haiz.. wat to do leh, greed is one of the seven deadly sins leh...)

Juz came back from marina south.. i went there for steamboat... hehe. damn oily place sia... tis few days i've been feeling quite lonely sia. Todae is christmas liaoz.... let me ask u something, if someone realli treats u as a frend, she will at least send u a merry christmas rite? i've been waiting for a gal to send me a msg to prove tat she's not using me.... i guess im wrong after all, she will only come looking for me when she gets into trouble or feel realli sad... im nothing to her at all. haiz... y leh? Am i realli tat gullible? Maybe so ba, after all i did, she's juz using me... hehe, i tink i've seen thru gals liaoz, im veri disappointed, y r they all like tat? i juz dun understand... i guess tis is wat they call 'Hei Se You Mo' ba... Tomolo im doing christmas duty, so i wont b around to celebrate christmas. initially i tot it was a bad thing, but now, come to tink of it, its actually a blessing. ^_^

Wah... so fast monday liaoz... time realli flies sia, new yr is juz round the corner... hehe.. veri soon it will b 2005... they always say new yr must make a wish, n do u know wat i realli want? Hehe... I dun tink will come true lah, so nvm lah.. ^_^.. Now im veri bored n lifeless, simply because im veri broke now... money reali makes the world goes round.... Watever it is, im went singing yesterday, so im quite happy inside, though im now a poorer fellow... Later must book in liao lor... saturday got christmas duty somemore, im realli unlucky nowadays leh, wtf is the guy up in the skies doing ah? Hopefully he bless me with more money nxt yr sia. $_$

Hi, im here to update again loh!! Wahaha, nowadays veri rarely update liaoz, im kinda busy nowadays.. hmm...The wind seems to b blowing my way nowadays... or is it i have learned to c things in a entirely different light? hehe.. after coming back from wallaby, i came to realise the true meaning of quite a number of things... Things happen for a reason, n the reason will not b known till fate allows u to. Wat seems bad might not b so after all, n similarly, wat's good might not b so after all. ^_^ The journey of life is always a cycle, wat goes around WILL come around, though time is always an uncertainty in such events. If u tink i copy all these from some chimalogy book hor, then sorry lor, all these r from my heart. hehe *_*. I also learned tat sometimes, anger will blind logic which will lead to u doing something realli wrong. Always try to c things in other ppl's viewpoint too, im not a goody-two-shoes, but i have enough substance left in my brain to c tis point. hmm, Im also trying to b nice to other ppl liaoz, i was realli hostile last time, but its being good to ppl is better, i juz feel better smiling at ppl lah. ^_^. All in all, i guess wat im experiencing now is the term they call maturity, i realli tink n feel like a adult now. One thing has not changed though, my dreams n aspirations r still intact. I wanna start my own company at 25, earn my millions n retire at 35 so tat i can bring my wife to c the world. I love travelling, even more so if im travelling with the one n only. *_* I know it sounds crazy n far-fetched, maybe im childish, maybe im silly, but i can always fall back on my heart n tell myself tat i will make all these true. i once met a gal who shares these dreams with me, we used to tok all day about our dreams... but fate juz didnt allow us to b together... So, im now at the first step of my dream liaoz, once i ORD, i will forge a career n start raking in the cash to fulfill it. ^_^

WAhahah... finally, pay day came n i juz went to pay the stewpid bill liaoz.. hehe..good thing sia, finally back online liaoz... hmm, wat to say leh... Yesterday i went to the 5566 n cyndi wang's concert. i was sitting at the front row at the VIP seat too, once again i wanna thank jennifer for the fr33 tickets from her uncle!! ^_^ Nowadays hor,the young gals r realli crazy one sia, they were like shouting at the top of thier lungs juz behind me n i nearly went deaf...-_-"" But i do c lotsa babes there though, they were damn fine gals. Well,lets not tok about gals shall we? hehe. The concert wasnt realli impressive, i would much rather went to jay zhou's concert... im quite a big fan of tat guy, though i wont scream my head off when i c him.. (guys r usaully more composed in tis type of things...) Sianz sia, tomolo i will b missing again, im going for a field camp for 3 days, so though my net's back, i wont b online -_-. But guess wat, i finally picked myself up n went back to wat i realli love most---> boxing! hehe.. yeah, i know im fat n i dun look like it, but i realli love boxing. im also training again, which means i should b losing some weight soon enough (if nothing goes wrong lah..) Im not a violent man though, i always believe wat i practice is only for leisure, not to bully ppl lor... i've seen blade trinity n im veri veri impressed with hannibal king's bod! i wanna train so tat i will look like him...( try lah, i nvr say must mah... -_-) I tink tat's all im writing lah, i gonna go back bunk sleep liaoz, tomolo must wake up early somemore... ^_^.. nitez!!!

Haiz... nbz... my internet connection cut off tat's y nvr update for soooooo long... -_-"
anyway, life is more or less ok now lah... my brothers n sisters went to malaysia liaoz, n my mum's alone at home while im in camp. im not a realli filial kid but i still am worried bout her...hmm... last sat i went clubbing with the dudes n bitches, we didnt have a whole lot of fun but its still enjoyable lor... i remember we could'nt finish the martell, so we kinda distributed the remaining to our frendz nxt table. C, we r good guyz after all yeah? ^_^. When we finally finished with our 'charity' work, we still have a jar of vodka lime left. guess who swallowed the whole jar?? hehe.. But tat nite, i was quite sad realli... im trying to shun away n dun contact her tat much, while in my heart im still worried sick about her. i realli wanted call her, but i juz cant do it... the feeling realli sux, the whole nite i've been tinking of her...dun condemn me as a coward immediately, if u r in my shoes u will feel the hopelessness of tis whole thing. believe me, u seriously dun wanna go there. T_T . Deep inside me, i know n am veri certain i can give her happiness, but the gist of the problem is whether she WOULD give me a chance or not. Im not prepared to ask her a second time though, it juz isnt viable at tis stage.
Lets go on to another topic shall we? ^_^. the new year is round the corner, have u decided on a new yr resolution? My resolution is to go back to doing wat i realli like best. Boxing. hehe.. i dun seem like it but i love boxing... the sweat n the training involve is so interesting tat u nvr wanted to stop except for fear of dying from exaustion. every jab n straight u put out symbolises the will to continue the fight... the hook n uppercut epitomes the final cut to the ensuing battle. tat's wat i call classic. ^_^ . Its mostly for self defense though, i dun believe in hitting other people for the sake of hitting him.( except for cases where my frend is being bullied lah, im veri protective of those i call my true frendz... ^_^) I tink tis mth's mood outlook for me is blue n gloomy, unless someone comes along n proof otherwise...(u know who u r..^_^)

Whew, juz got back home from camp... i am VERI VERI tired...zzz... yesterday nite got 'someone' call me at 11pm n we toked till 4.30am in the morning hor? u know who u r lah, still gei siao...-_-" But surprisingly she called me after nearly one yr sia... I realli didnt know tat we can still tok like best frendz after so long sia, its as if like we never stopped contacting each other before... hmm... is it tat we r juz simply extremely talkative ppl? :P i guess wat's past is past between us ba... time realli does wonders... i realli tot it was impossible to forget her, but i guess i finally am ready to accept her as a normal frend ba. I feel like a shackle have finally been removed from my heart after so long... Im finally a free flying soul again... T_T. But i am veri afraid now, because we r getting close again, wat if the fire is revived in my heart? Wat if i fall in love with her again? Wat if she again smash my heart to smithereens again? Haiz... my mind is realli rolling around now... T_T i know all tis cannot be helped, i've got to sort out these things myself lah. Life always seems to b a cycle, the past will always have ways to catch up with u. Im realli stuck now, should i continue to let nature run its flow n risk the danger or should i always leave a gap between us? Tis is a question tat i have no answers to, do you have the answers?

Sad day sia... i juz found out one of my best buddy's naval diver frend is going after the angel. haiz... i guess good things always wont belong to me ba.. hehe.. life's like tat ba... im not feeling tat good now. T_T i guess the same thing is happening again... i always c the same thing repeating itself... Maybe i wasnt realli allowed the privilege of knowing good gals ba... i know it seems impossible for a good gal to b without suitors, but im juz a fat-fark lah, how to fight with ppl??? Ppl always say tis say tat one, but i believe in 'what will b will b, wat wont b will nvr be'... maybe its realli time i lost some weight ba, i dun realli feel happy carrying around 10 extra kg. I know im cute, but cute got wat fark use? Cannot earn money one leh.. So u tink i should try to go after the angel? Or should i juz fark off one corner? i realli tink i should choose option 2 because i realli dun wanna b hurt again. Corinne dealt enough damage liaoz, i dun realli wanna put my head on the chopping board again... T_T... If u tink im a fat-fark with zero self-confidence, guess wat? u r rite man... hehe.. i should have known better ba... (maybe i belong to the under-privileged club of guys hor?)... I dun know got ppl read my blog one anot leh, but if got hor, u can dun need wish me luck liaoz, havent start i alreadi lost the battle liaoz...T_T... (feeling VERY VERY low morale now...T_T)

Hehe, now nothing to do, so im updating another entry into tis blog..^_^.. It seems life is getting a bit better for me.. i got to know a veri interesting gal yesterday nite in MSN.. hmm, i found her on frendster n i juz casually added her in MSN.. nvr did i know wat a good gal she was.. She happened to b online yesterday nite, so i juz chatted with her to know her more. She turned out to be quite a good N pleasant gal, she's veri polite n she score quite high in the looks department too :P... I was kind of taken by surprise because nowadays gals like her r RARE treasure, N the best news is tat she's SINGLE!! hehe... though tat doesnt means i have a chance, but at least finally i found a unattached GOOD gal... hehe... i didnt try to get her mobile number though, i wanted to know her better... one of the best qualities i liked bout her is the fact tat she likes singing KTV like me, i know it sounds silly, but i realli need a gal who loves to sing with me so i can enjoy singing with her. ^_^
But she also likes outdoor sports, n my only love is body-building.. haiz.. i guess we could'nt b perfect after all. Personality-wise hor, she score full marks... i find her extremely kind n gentle (though i only spoke to her once lah, but im a good character judge..i tink...). Now im waiting for her to come online lah... i realli wanna know her better, but i dun know bout her... a gal like her should have alot of suitors, but fark it lor, i die die also wanna try lor... Angela, if u r reading tis, yes, its about u. I tink i wanna try to get along with u... if ur not then juz wish me luck lor. i always seem to have bad luck with gals lah, so at least pray for me lah... hehe...(i guess ppl must move on after all, its not tat i dun like u-know-who anymore lah. U should know tat u have a place, but now its slowly being overwhelmed by an Angel... hehe ^_^)

Woohoo, long time nvr update liaoz.. hehe... i juz returned from australia bout 4 days ago, then i've been busy tidying up my pig sty cause the new yr's round the corner!! hehe... Australia was not so fun though... the exercise is silly n boring... If u have a kangaroo poo fetish then u should b there man, kangaroo shit is ALL around the place. Its kinda funny cause it doesnt stinks, but it does attract a MULTITADE of flies of all assorted sizes N colours... The damn flies bite n can u believe they r the size of ur toes??!! Kaoz... The sun there is also VERY VERY strong, i got fried there, tat more or less explains it. hmm... But the greatest enemy there is loneliness, its damn bad cause u dun get to c ur loved ones. im fine with being independant a stuff, but can u imagine the feeling u get when u look around n find tat all ur mates in the tentages r tinking of their family or girlfrends tat they left behind in singapore juz to take part in a silly exercise???!! haiz... its true for me too, i recalled something realli sad in the past... i guess she wont b reading tis so its safe to write it here ba, i dun want her to tink im advertising or something, its juz to make me feel better ^_^ ....
----> We were realli good frendz from the start, i juz tot tat maybe i juz have a crush on her... but it all changed when we went out together... her mentality n personality to me was made in heaven... she's such a perfect gal in my heart... As time goes along, we got very close but the way we c tis is veri different... She juz tot of me as a best frend whereas i truly loved her... i knew wat i felt was not realli rite since she's already attached, but who cares? i juz love her. Simple as tat. But i didnt want to put her in a spot, so i juz did wat i could to give her the best i can as a frend... whenever i went shopping with her, i will secretly remember everything she likes n try my best to give it to her as a gift... dun ask me how i did it, i juz have a good memory. ^_^ As i always told her, nothing matters as long as she's happy. I realli feel tat way... im not being noble or wat, but whenever i c her smile, the world seems to stop spinning. My heart certainly bled when she called me one nite n she cried, her boyfrend juz scolded her for oversleeping, her reason is VERY valid though i dun wanna write it here. When i hear her cry, i also wanna cry too... dun laugh lah, its how i feel leh. __ (-_-) __ Her boyfrend was more of a jerk than anything in tis world, but wat am i to tell her the truth? im nothing more then a frend to her remember? I enlisted during tat time period, n since i have less time outside, u would tink tat it would juz die off yeah? But we're wrong, i spent nearly all my weekends with her N we had a realli strong n deep understanding of each other by then ( i tink...). Then after my BMT, i almost spent all my 14 days of block leave with her... so u c, with so much time together, i obviously fell madly in love with her, but atlast, she's attached n my mum taught me NOT to snatch ppl's gal, so there... (T_T) i was waiting for the time to come when she's single again... i even made plans n prepared the things i was going to do for her when the rite time comes... i plan to light-up her block with light bulbs ( got colour one lah) n juz show her whole neighbourhood tat she thoroughly deserves all tis im doing for her... then im suppose to blindfold her n bring her to a ferris wheel (the big big wheel machine u c in theme parks...) N remove the blindfold to tell her how much i realli love her when the wheel got to the highest point...... i know it seems far-fetch lah, but im a veri romance-minded creature, i still have the plans with me.. hehe... Anyway, all tat nvr went into action, after she broke off with her boyfrend, she changed. N guess who's left out in the cold??? yeah, tat's me. ^_^ She started to keep a distance from me n seldom reply my msgs n calls... aiya, all those standard procedures tat gals do to tell a guy to go home plant potatoes lah... I obviously is veri confuse mah, so i tried to look for her lor. Finally i found her in ICQ one nite...i tried to tok to her, but she juz gave me 1 word answers (another standard stuff tat gals do..-_-") until i buay tahan. i juz told her the truth there n then. Well, all hell broke loose from there, she gave me a barrage of VERY NASTY stuffs which utterly tore me to bits (literally lah, u tink she wolverine meh? -_-) . I realli cant believe tat im realli nothing in her heart after all tat i've done for her...(now i believe liaoz, so long liaoz, still dun get it meh? kaoz ) Then we juz like 'communication breakdown' from then on lor.... me tat time realli sian sia, life machiam standstill for me liaoz... haiz, its juz too sudden for me then lah... put urself in my shoes lah,how would U feel?? Duh -_-. But it was a lesson well taught... sometimes in life, no matter wat u do for a gal, she might not appreciate it at all... EVEN if u realli tried ur best... haiz... In australia, all these kept replaying in my head till i realli sianz... i SUPER low morale over there sia, but i tink tat kinda did me some good.. i realli sorted out stuffs there, now im living again. hehe, things aint so bad after all mah... there's always calm after a storm, so it applies to life too... *_* Im now a free soul again, though i shall 4ever carry the scars with me till the day i close my eyes for good.... ^_^... I realli hope that she can give me a chance lah, im always leaving the door open for her...even now it remains open for her... (i realli tink im wasting my time, if she will come back then she early come back loh, y wait till now rite?? kaoz... im a hopeless idiot sia...).

So u c, tat is a brief account of wat happened lah.. if i go in detail then i will nvr finish tis thing. WOO.. tat feels SOOOO good... finally i let out wat i've been thru (my side of the story lah..maybe her side got twist leh?) I sincerely hope she wont c tis, if not i sure ganna blackmark till i die, she sure say i doing advertisement for some charity organisation one... -_-"" N if u r reading tis, DUN tell ppl k?? Promise? thks ^_^