Atheist

ahem, im back to post. Reasons for the long break is as usual. Lazy, plus its exams study period now, so yeah, was mugging in skool mostly.

Something strange seems to be happening these days, there seems to be a sudden flux of past. I know its kinda hard to understand what im toking about lah, but things and people from the past seems to be coming back to me. I dun kw to be thankful, or curse whoever made all these happen.

Alot of things went thru my head these days. From the start of the study period, i saw. And then it became frequent, and i keep questioning why am i seeing so much. And i tried to smile a couple of times, you know, at least be frens after so many yrs mah rite? Well, fate always seems to thwart the attempts, if you know what i mean.

And todae, when i wasnt tinking anything, it came smack in my face. Was abit un-nerving, having to tok to her after so long. What transversed between us this afternoon, was more then my 4 yrs of knowing her in the past. Her eyes, they haven aged at all, they're still as bright as i've first known her. I've seen her around in school, but didnt realli speak to her, cause some things in the past still clinged on, and well, i didnt realli wanted to dig out what was buried.

I dun kw man, seeing her gave me a sense of familiarity and warmth, yet i was abit wary. Wary of what? i dun kw, juz wary. I mean the bottomline is, she's the first after all, so with her, i feel like im back to secondary skool days, the little boy within me who blushes whenever i see her.

I hate contigencies, especially those 'empire-strikes-back' types. I was troubled the whole evening after that, wondering why would that old-fellow-up-there dig shit out that was buried like almost 10 yrs ago? And before people makes crazy prepositions, im just lamenting, not considering anything yet. Dont ask me about this, anyways i dun tink people wan to know also lah.

And the worse thing is, there are MORE contingencies looming in the midst these days. Why? I dont know, but things suddenly seem to open up and its realli veri deadly. Argh.


Okays, the above aside, some stuffs happened, and people saw. Ya, they saw, not i say one, but they saw. So ya, they tell, i listened, i nodded. Its kinda sad realli, when people have to stoop so low they seem to be squating. Haiz. Is a ego boost realli that important? Ah well, let me get detached and be a floating exchange rate ba, i dun realli wanna care anymore. If abc cant see, then xyz is not worth it anyways.

Buddha teaches peace, externally and internally. Im not a staunt buddhist, infact im a free thinker or atheist or whatever they call it. But i understand and believe in the values that 'thou shall not do unto others what thou doth want others to do unto thee.'. In lay man terms, people should not do to other what they dun want others to do to them.

Ironically, toking bout peace, im kinda stirred inside and outside. hurhur. Internally is due to contingencies, externally is im ballooning up slowly. Sigh. Ah well, after exams plenty of time to shed off the exam-weights, so for now, enjoy the wriggly fats ba.

Im a frank and honest fellow, i like who or dislike who quite obvious one. Nothing much to fear ba. But people do see me on the contrary as a trash-talking, in your face, constantly cursing barbarian. Yeah i tink sometimes i do get over enthusiastic in conversations, but i am me. I dun lie to people. I dun hide true self from people. what you see is what you get. If you think you are pure and true, stare into my eyes. Im a soul-starer, a special breed of men that can see thru your soul. *crap*

Hypocrisy is rampant in modern society and people simply dig it. Hypocrisy is infact the new black, and people who are frank and honest are the current shit pile. hahas, anyways im always full of shit lah, so i dun mind joining shit pile gang. hiak hiak~~

After the above, i would expect more 'house of flying daggers'. Life is indeed a movie like they said. hahaha, dark joke. I might be mistaken lah, must give the benefit of doubt, but its realli like what they say sia. "How dark the human heart!"