Romantic Perspective

How do i handle life? How do i cope? Sometimes i do ask myself all these questions. After all that i've been through, i conclude life to be directly related to perspective. How you interpret an event is veri important. And i never believe things to be absolute, never say never.

Failure. Most people view it as detrimental, but to me, failure is simply finding out one way not to succeed. I deeply believe in the logic that noone fails forever. Business wise that is. I have my dream, and i intend to make that dream a reality. My dream? Build my own business empire.

Why do i suddenly wanna tok about my perspective on life all of a sudden? Well, its seems i've seen and thought through alot of things, and i have this huge conclusion about everything. A frend was toking to me about his disappointment in his failure to woo his gal, he was too late, in the end she was attached when he decided he wanted to go for her.

He told me the gal felt something for him initially, but he hesitated and therefore lost the chance.
He told me he was veri sad and he cannot swallow the sight of seeing another guy behaving intimately with the gal he likes. He told me he like her alot, and can't bear to lose her. He told me he was gloomy and upset for a few months alreadi, he cant get over her. Guess what i told him?

I told him the one he was upset about wasnt the gal, its himself. His pride and ego simply cannot swallow the fact that he failed. He wanted to own the gal, he hates himself because he let her go. He hated the fact that he took her for granted and thought that he have lots of time and she will wait for him. So all in all, he wasnt upset because he loved the gal, he was more buay gam luan on losing her to another guy.

I pointed this fact out to him, and i gave him my take on relationships :

1) Noone stays forever, do not take the other party for granted.

2) Since noone stays forever, enjoy and cherish every present moment with her, u never know whether both of you will go the distance, so dun try to prophecize the future, just enjoy the present.

3) Breaking up is not negative, its just that you're not meant to be together and there's a better somebody else that can take care of her. Treasure the memories and the happy times spent together with her, keep them locked up in your heart. When u recall those times with her, both of u can confidently smile and know deep inside that being together was worth it.

4) Rejection isnt negative. Its just a preventive mechanism setting in to protect both of you. One party knows things aint gonna go anywhere, and therefore to avoid future complications and heartbreak and quarrels etc... , he/she chose to pass.

5) If she managed to find someone who's realli nice, dun feel jealous and bitter. If you feel for her, u want the best for her. What matters is she tinks he is the one that can take care of her, and if u like her as much as you say, u would want the best for her. Therefore be happy because she managed to find someone that she realli likes and realli cares for her.

6) Love is free-rein, meaning do not exert control over her. Love is a connection between 2 person, not a slave-master relationship. She have her freedom and she does not owe u anything. Reporting is done volunteerily, its not compulsory. She wanna go club or go out with guys, its alrite, because if she wanna fly, no cage can keep her in. Trust in her and give her the liberty that she deserves.

7) Things happen for a reason, therefore dun jump to conclusions. Give her time to explain herself, everything can be discussed nicely, no point screaming at her. She's a gal, and the basic right of being a gal is the right to be pampered and cared for. Give in for small things, but critical issues, sit down and tok things out. Use a nice tone.

8) Before blaming things on her or other people, reflect on yourself first. Most of the time, u perceived things towards the negative side because you are too self-centered. Her world don't revolve around you, so before pointing out her faults, try to understand yourself and your actions first. (This is the point i told my fren, he was too self-centred to see that infact what he felt was more disappointment then sadness.)

9) Dun dwell on 'maybe's and 'could be's. Dun imagine how good things could have turned out if she accepted you. Understand the fact that there is a divine reason that the-fellow-up-stairs didnt wanna put you both together. Also remember the fact that impossible is never relevant, what could not be now, could be in future. So maybe now is just not the time. But dun think too much, try to move on for the time being.

10) The only certainty in life is death and change. Time is the most powerful entity in existence, nothing can stop it, nothing can change it and nothing can control it. People change with time, noone stays stagnant, people must change in order to survive. Do not blame her if she have a change of heart, she cant help it, you cant help it too. So why not suck it up and move on with a smile. If its meant to be, it will be. An angel that realli belongs to you will fly back to you no matter how far she have flew.

I view relationships as a pool of clear water. I wanna keep it clean and transparent. You can say im naive or childish, but to me, romance should be crystal clear and upheld by trust and respect.

And lastly for some things, i choose to keep quiet and solemn. It's the only thing i can do.