Yesterday's interview was fast and quick. hehe... i sort of rejected the job ba... they wanted someone with a passion in designing machine parts, which i dun have, hence i told them my interest was in sales. ^_^... i can lie to them, but i choose not to, im a honest man. My family's pressuring me to find a job, but these things cant be rushed, its my future and my career. Im formulating a business plan now... hmm... working with a tight budget is realli difficult, but im starting to get a rough picture already, i guess i need around 5k initial capital... Im currently doing some research on how to go about setting up a business in singapore. hehesss...

Im saving some money so that i can go to hong kong for a holiday cum product hunting trip. i will need around 1.5k... haiz... money is always hard to come by man... why cant i be born into a rich family? lolx.... serene's birthday is also around the corner somewhere in febuary, which means i need money AGAIN.. haiz... what the hell man, money realli spins the world. = =""

I've decided to further my studies after considering for like a month? hahasss... i've applied for a few courses in NTU alreadi, but i tink my chances of getting in is next to nothing man.. i have like... 2 As , 4 Bs , 9 Cs and 19 Ds..... wat the fark man? lolx... if i realli get in, i will swallow my monitor on the spot. :P hahahasss.... But i do have a back up plan, which is in the VERI possible case of me not getting into NTU, i shall apply for either SIM or other private universities... haiz...when a man is stupid, he cant realli have a choice do he? lolx...

I tink im going back to work at eyerelax man... haiz... its kinda sad, but since im furthering my studies, i cant find a perm job now, so i have to settle with a temp job. haiz...

Wootz, Gong Xi Fa Cai! HUAT AH! Muahaha, now is chinese new year le, and todae i just went to collect ANGPAOs! Yeah! Todae was a nice day man, i saw my cousins ( They are DAMN hot lor... omg, can cousins be together? :P *Joking*). Hahass, todae's taking is around 100+bucks onli... haiz.. so little sia. But this money's gonna tide me through the first mth of my job, so cant anyhow spend. BORING.... I wanna go eat seafood platter leh! kaoz, i've been 'lusting' after it for 1mth plus alreadi, i realli realli need to satisfy my desire. :P Maybe someone can blanja me? You reading tis RX? LOLx...

Well, yesterday i found out why i didnt contact one of my primary skool frend for so long. I just remembered i didnt wanna contact him because he dun allow people to use vulgarities infront of him. OMG, i mean, come on lah, we are all guys lah. I admit using vulgarities isnt realli glamourous, but im a man who have the courage to show the real me to people when i interact. I realli feel people that dun ALLOW vulgarities are veri hypocriptic(i kw, there's a spelling mistake :P). He reminds me of stuart, another hypocriptic frend of mine. People like these tink they are a cut above the rest, but wat they do not kw is, they are cheating on themselves. Im not stereo-typing them, but its the truth, i've encountered a number of tis type of people. Stuart is among the worst of his kind, he always tinks he's veri gentlemanly and he's always rite, but he's ignorance will never bring him anywhere. May watever god he believes in bless him, because without tat blessing, he will never make it in life. ^_^"".

I just reached home after watching HUO YUAN JIA. Its a realli meaningful movie and in fact, its quite nice. ^_^. Martial arts is to instill discipline and character in a person, its not a tool to achieve personal objectives. I myself know how it feels sometimes when u r so pissed with someone until u wanna beat the shit out of him, but i learned to always reflect on the misunderstanding from his point of view, which means i always question myself before i blame others. Im not perfect, but at least i KNOW im not perfect. ^_^.

Well, tomolo i gonna go my grand-aunty's house to 'bai nian' le, so i tink im stopping here le, damn shagged sia, todae went so many places..= = "... tomolo also dun kw wat to where leh, must be presentable at least as a form of respect mah. And one more thing, unknown handphone numbers have been sending me greetings sia, i dun even kw who are they man, y cant people identify themselves even if they are just passing the silly chain-msgs? lolx... watever lah, nitez! ^_- *GOD-LIKE!*

Whole day at home. Rot. Im dying. Omg, i so poor now man... hopefully tomolo the job agency get back to me, i need a job veri veri badly man... hahass... i checked up on the SIM tuition fees ytd from peifen. Its like 5.6k per sem ... damn ex man... then there's like 4 semesters which totals the amount to 22k+? kaoz... Its so ex lor.. and there's transportation and daily expenses leh.. kaoz... i tink minimum need like 40k? omfg.... T_T

I've been sleeping veri late these few weeks and im like veri drained mentally... i've been tinking on some issues these few days b4 i sleep at nite. Girls always take me as a veri good frend rather then a prospective boyfriend, the question is why? After some pondering , the answer is actually quite simple, im juz too good to the girls i like, and i dun realli express wat i feel for them until its too late. They dropped hints which i never realli saw them coming. gosh.... Its realli ironic when im like the love guru to the guyz and they always asked me for ideas when it comes to gals, but in the end, my love life is so farked up. LOLx... The worse thing is, the ideas i give to them ALWAYS works. I myself knows how to treat a woman like a lady, but i basically didnt have a chance to realli have a girl i can call my own... The feeling of holding someone's hand and sensing the warmth of her palm meeting my own palm is like 2 hearts becoming 1. This feeling i know, i once held the hands of the first gal i have ever loved during my sec 3 orchestra camp. hahass.. we were playing a game and she volunteered to partner me although im realli realli fat then....
hahaha :P I remember i turned realli realli red man, hahasss, but she's veri encouraging and was leading me thru the dance. LOLx... its realli sweet memories and these are the bits and pieces that makes life worthwhile. ^_^. But wat the hell man, she's getting married soon to the guy that was my love rival then. You know wat kinda feeling tat is? The first love of ur life is getting married to another man? hahaha, its a bit bitter yet sweet because you know she will be leading a better life then she would have been if she was with you. There's also a nudging pain that will never subside man... but watever lahs, im a man, so i must learn to live with all these.

But that guy's rich mah, so basically im nothing compared to him.. = = money makes the world goes round. hehe. face the facts, these are all the facets of life.

Alritey, its time i go sleep le ba... hahas... whoever is reading this, feel free to tell me wat happened to your first love ba. hahass.. :P

(And one more thing, im also glad to have known you RXrocks. LOLX. :P)

Todae went orchard with richard to buy clothes (he buy, i alreadi bought. hehe). Didnt did much lah, just walk around the stupid town which doesnt realli have much apparel that interests me. The clothes are so BORING man... all the usaul stuffs, none of them realli appeals to me, so common. We went to TOPMAN initially, then we proceeded to far east plaza----> wrong move, far east sux man. After walking for sometime, we went to SUBWAY to eat some torpedoes. MUAHAHA----> EAT FRESH!

There was this 3 girls tat came and sat beside us, and they were quite hot lah. lolx, 3 pretty ladies man, but i didnt do much oogling though, im more interested in my sandwich. :P

Hmm, i gtg dota le, later then update ba. :P BRB!

Alritey. hmm, yesterday nite, i had a VERI VERI VERI interesting dream.. :P As usaul, i dreamt of a girl again.. *DUH*, but she's a veri special girl. In my life, there used to be a few special girls, but this time, its realli realli intriging...

Well well well, the girl is someone most of you people tat watch TV should kw.. lolx... She's in a talent show now, but i actually 'knew' her earlier during my poly days... She's one of my crushes during that period of time, lolx... i was still a 'kid' back then, which lead to me being more in the timid department when it came to gals... hahas...anyways, she's REALLI REALLI cute with HUGE eyes and i was sorta surprised when i see her on TV a few mths back.. ^_^ But come to think of it, what would happen if i got to know ALL OF MY CRUSHES back then? (For your information i had like 108++ crushes during my poly days... i know its OVERWHELMING, but hey, im a kid back then yeah? :P)

Anyways, although i know she's sorta unattainable now since she's now a mini-celebrity, i still like to tink that no woman on earth is unattainable... hahass... might sound abit overconfident but when u realli analyse the logic behind it, its realli true. No matter how beautiful a human being is, he/she will need someone's shoulder to lie on and most of the time, tat shoulder belongs to someone who doesnt realli have high points in the looks department. ^_^. Its a simple fact of life, when something or someone is beautiful, insecurities will be present, and interesting enough, people will seek to avoid that sort of inseurity which lead to their lowering of their basic requirements of a future partner. May it be looks, talent, money or personality, its realli all crap in the end, wat matters is WHEN AND WHERE in time they got together. let me illustrate on what when and where means:

When: The correct time period. There will be time when a human's emotional defenses are at their lowest, and this is when u need to strike. Be there for him/her at the absolute correct time, and you will capture his/her psychologically 'correct' feeling. An example is when some sort of tragedy occurs in some unearthly time when EVERYBODY seems to have disappeared, and at this silly time, another human being of the opposite sex appeared and tide him/her through this brief moment of pain, and shows affection not-seen between good friends, tis will trigger a reaction in the sub-conscious of the subject to tell him/her that this person is someone who will always be there for him/her. This theorem is not 100% true because there will be variants present. Sometimes, depending on the mental structure of the subject, the reaction triggered will be VASTLY different. But in this world, no risk no gain, hence judge for yourself when is the correct time. ^_^.

Where: The location where the reaction triggered took place. Lets call the reaction 'CHEMISTRY'. Everybody have a pre-determined level of affection for every location that they've been to or had seen in their life times. A veri good example is most people when asked about PARIS, they will link it to ROMANTIC. So now, 'researching' needs to be done to see what type of location will yields the best results. A good hint is the way he/she talks, derive wat type of cathegory she/he belongs from his/her speech patterns. When you get the location right, the neurons will automatically simulate the relevant emotions hence dramatically increasing overall positive emotions about you. But the best is to get the answer right from the horse's mouth.
(Seriously, i asked a girl where will be the most romantic place to pop the question and you know wat she told me? At the top of a #Ferris Wheel.. = =...)

#Ferris Wheel : A popular ride in the theme park which resembles wheel and spins vertically
VERY slowly.

What i have derived and explained above are simply little extracts from my life philosophy. They are based on what i went through in this lifetime. The conclusion is simply---> no woman is unattainable. Even the most beautiful woman in the world will succumb to the charms of a man who is a good 'CHEMIST'. ^_-. (I have personally not attained that level of skill simply due to the fact that im fat. *DUH)

Next lesson: Watever i feel like preaching. hehz..:P

Tampines at 1030am.... todae i went for an appointment. haiz.. this few days, i've been getting alot of interviews from insurance agencies... prudential and AIA is kinda like swarming me with so many offers to be an insurance agent man.... But insurance is realli veri veri boring leh... if u bo sales = eat dung. -.-" But the other companies which i sent my 'wonderful' resume to havent reply me leh... 1 week le sia... still bo reply.. haiz... So should i or should i not take up this insurance career? o_O watever lah.. haiz...

Saturday im going to have lunch with gil and company at cineleisure! yeah! FOOD! But RX not going leh, abit disappointed sia.. lolx.. u read tis sentence gal? TRY TO MAKE IT? TAKE EARLY OFF from your job? lolx... i kw u will read tis line. muahahahaha! But if realli cant make it then dun force yourself lah, i dun want u running here and there like a mad woman.. lolx.. :P

Tomolo im going to SHOP le! yeah!! im buying new clothes for the new year! YEAH! i aimed a levi's shirt for 1 week le, tomolo i go buy, i tink got 20% discount! yeah! :P but jeans abit ex leh.. i not much money to buy.. T_T..... haiz... y am i so poor man? god hates me.. i knew it....T_T...
(God, if u realli like me, please let me find a high paying job can? MUAHAHAHA:P)

I've planned how to spend my first paycheck after i found my new job EVEN BEFORE i get a job..= ="" I will enroll for a car license, buy a pair of cool shades and TRY TO WEAR contact lens... LOLx... i seriously suck at putting on contacts, but fraid not, i've got a optometrist frend who can help me! yeah!!! (Im getting abit drowsy... i need sleep... so i might spout some irrelevant stuffs... = ="")

Cannot le, i cant bitch anymore, i gtg get some sleep, im dying... = ="" nitey nitez!!! ^_^

Finally, a chapter in life have been closed. im now looking for perm job le, i got my pink IC last friday, so i've resigned from the promoter thingy yesterday. The short stint with energie eyecare benefited me alot, i realised good people are still out there.. lolx.. This 2 weeks of sales also let me see alot of customers, some good, some bad, but most importantly, how to handle them. hehe... Tomolo i will be going to uncle gin's company to take a look at the enviroment and to discuss a job with him, hopefully success ba.. lolx... i also found a few interesting job offers on the net, but i juz formatted my com, so my com have no MS word sia.. knn cannot send resume, they onli accept MS word format... -.-"" watever it is, i also looked up BMW 3 series the price le.. lolx... 150k+++ sia.. which means i need to pay around 1k every mth...-.-"" sad... in the end after some pondering, i decided not to buy car le ba... save up the money, invest it. lolx... a car is a liability, it will NEVER earn money and i will ALWAYS waste money. haiz... anyways taking the mrt is fine, i can see gals mah.. :P...yizhang is abit crazy man, lolx, he asked me wanna join him in becoming a singer anot sia.. hahahaha, but he say we go sing seven-mth concerts..-.-"" this whole passage is like a essay lor.. hahaha... but watever it is, tis is to catch up with the huge lapse between each entries... hahaha :P. I knew some good frendz from my promoter days, lolx, among them ruixian (she's hot, in a way lor.....im saying this because she MIGHT be reading this... omg... = ="), gillian (she's short :P), donovan (the magic man) and trey(something's wrong with his brain.. muahaha)... lolx... they are all great people to be with man... i needa keep in contact with them ba.. hahaha... life's starting to look great, now wat i need is a good job in a good enviroment with good people to sum it all up. yeah baby! forget about girlfrendz, lets wait for them to come n kw me ba... i totally give up on going after gals le... if they like me, pls tell me. :P hahaha... k le, gtg le lah, im going to watch my TIAN LONG BA BU vcds le.. lolx.. niteZ!!

Todae i was a little bit sianz. im now working at jurong point guardian as promoter for EYERELAX mah. I work like a dog throughout the week to push all the sales to saturday and sunday, but knn the company send a gal down todae to 'SHARE' my commission... i mean, wat the fark man, i tok and promote to these customers then when they come back i have to share the commission? Worse thing is, the gal didnt even make a effort to get more customers, all the sales today was my previous customers that came back lor... kaoz, fark it man, i sms the manager to tell him i wanna work alone tomolo, if they still dun care, i tink im quitting le. PCB, my leg damn pain now, stand so long till so tired. The gal is quite average looking but too bad, i dun care much bout gals anymore lor. Anyway quitting at this time is also a good move, because next week im getting my pink IC le, so most probably i would be getting a proper job as a sales engineer or engineer in a proper company ba. Hmm, finally its time i came out to work le, i realised its a new start to my life because i would be slogging through the most part of my life from now, but i realli look forward to wat will happen in the future, no matter its bad or good. hehe.... :P

oooo, hao jiu mei you blog le... hmm... i didnt blog simply because i dun have any things to blog about..-.-"" i nowadays ALWAYS at home leh.. where got things to blog sia.. lolx. well lets c, i last thursday went back to camp, n i saw garrick. he's fine in the morning, but in the afternoon, i knn wanna beat the fish out of him sia.. knn.. He now tink he sgt big fark, always bully other medics. ccb, he dun dare to bully me lah, because he knows im a dynamite. but i c the way he tok to the medics i also knn tulanz. He better watch wat he do tomolo, if not i sure give it to him one. pcb kia. i shall show him wat is TRUE POWER. -.- __. Watever, fark him, tomolo im going back for sean's sake, he's getting his IC tomolo. Im STILL looking for a job by the way, i called a few companies le.. but hor, one of them nvr write wat sex they need..-.- i called n found out they were selling women's shoes n need salesgal.... but i wont mind lor.. hahaha.. :P. Now that the avian flu is spreading so fast, i realli need to retink alot of things in life. Alot of chances have came my way n left without me knowing it... now that i recall n reflect on them, there's tis tinge of regret in my heart. y didnt i take up the chance then... omg... T_T

Last saturday, richard told me to go 'walk walk see gal' with him at city hall... he say got he in deep shit, so i went down lor.. but hor.. he smoke me one, he brought me to a network marketing company... but i not tulanz with him lah, he told me his problems so i juz tagged along n help him lor. im such a good frend hor? lolx... But he dun have to bluff me mah, haiz. Watever it is, i went there n know some new 'frendz' there, but for me, i tink onli one girl is truly sincere when toking to me one, the rest all wanna 'snoop' me.. -.-"" well well well, someone as smart as me will be tricked by them? nah, they tink too much. i countered them. lolx.. i spent 4 hrs there without buying anything and signing any papers.. hahaha.. i juz leech there n let them tok till they happy, they seriously tot i was very interested. even my frend had a rude shock when he saw me so friendly with the ppl there that he tot i also had been brainwashed.. :P too bad, a man of my intellect is juz too much for them.. :P hahaha.. hmm ,but there are like 2 to 3 babes there sia.. lolx.. one is called victoria (who resembles huihui) and one more called jess ( she's realli cute but realli old.. i tink she's 28...) . I didnt c the others tat much but well, the guyz there were hopelessly boring..-.-"" ( except for a few).

I long time never went singing le... haiz.. wasted sia... hmm, i tink nxt week when get money then go sing ba... im praying for payday! muahaha.. MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GOES ROUND...hehe...

Clearing leave now... veri veri slack sia.. omg, i tink im rotting le... haiz... Whole day sit infront of the computer, i tink im going blind soon. Hmm, wanted to find a job, but once i told them im still holding 11b the all jittao reject..-.-... ni nia a..

Jay's new album out le, although i never buy, i got download.. :P The songs inside all quite nice sia, i especially like the hei se mao yi, but all also nice lah. haha... Juz now yi zhang suddenly sms me call me go for gathering in december sia. lolx.. he's my primary skool frend and we're like so many yrs nvr c le.. haha... then he added me in msn and i saw SOOO many primary skool frendz inside sia. hahaha.. these guyz n galz used to be with me in primary skool man.. how i missed them :P Im still veri veri poor nowadays.. haiz.. waiting for this thursday when i get pay.. i realli realli need to cut my hair..-.- its realli realli long le. haiz.. im like a caveman now.. haha..


These week suddenly got alot of programs sia. thursday im going for a la kopi session with some of my primary skool frendz and friday im going for a beer session with uncle sam and the guyz in camp.. haha...

Hmm, wat else to write leh... urm... i went to watch TOM YUM GOONG last week, tony jaa is realli realli bian tai one, he can f*$king jump so high..-.-.. inhuman.. siao ki na... Todae ah wei went to cisco academy le... haiz.. he cock one, go sign on cisco again... he finally got out from army after 4 yrs and he go sell his freedom again... kaoz... he todae go cisco academy machiam like BMT like tat sia... can only book out on sat and sun sia.. kaoz.. u can kill me but i will NEVER ever wanna sign on to ANY uniformed careers... -.-"" im a man that likes to travel, which means i cant stay in one place for too long (home and singapore is the onli exception).


I also went back to NP for the family concert last week too. hehe, go back look for frendz and gals mah. :P... anyways, i realised i didnt know much ppl there sia.. kaoz.. all the familiar faces never go for on reason or another. I alone there sia, but heng i found those REALLI OLD alumnis like zhihui , eugene etc... lolx..


Sean is not going back to camp anymore le.. haiz.. this friday i alone go back camp.. sure very bored one.. jiu ming ah.....i tink im the onli old bird left in camp le, all the old birds ORD le... omg, y am i so slow to ORD? Haiz... life sux.. :P Who reads my blog anyway rite? haha.. :P Watever ba, im writing alot this time because i soooooooo long bo blog le.. hahaha... till nxt time!!

A lonely nite, so im here to ease my boredom. Im currently clearing leave and everyday at home 'zuo bo lan'. sianz sia, i wanna find a job leh, but noone wanna hire a 11B personnel. Hmm... everyday rot at home also sianz, damn broke sia. Life is so empty, sort of no-direction at this stage of life... Now that i have so much time, i guess i should make full use of it and map out the nxt step of life ba... hmm... today did almost next to nothing at home sia.. whole day rot n roll. lolx.. rot n roll sia.. hahah.. :P

Hmm... almost 1 mth never blog le.. haha.. im getting lazy le... Actually hor, i forgot i had a blog.. -.-... yesterday went out with yunz and company then yanz reminded me about my blog in the MRT. lolx. Anyway, here i am lor, blogging again. -------> well, so many things happened tis mth sia, but i also veri nua, never realli give a damn to things happening around me. Next week is my last week le, im clearing leave after that, which means im finally getting out of the army le. The flow of time seems to increase as i grow older, or is it that im too nua till im not following time anymore? :P My emotions seem to have faded into nothingness le, i dun realli feel anything for any gal le, am i gay? lolx.. nah, its that i have seen the 'light' le. i realised tis new formula:

Normal gals = Trouble
Average gals = Alot of Troubles
Pretty gals = Death is eminent
Super Pretty Gals = End of the world

LOLX.. But come to tink of it, quite true leh. I will always believe tis theory until someone proves me wrong ba. hehehe.. :P Hmm, now most of my time is spent thinking about my future, which career path i wanna take and what type of business i wanna do. I most probably will be investing in my friends' companies ba. Like tat i can work and get some passive income every mth mah. Bit by bit, i will save up the cash then can invest in more businesses, within 5 yrs, i will have $50,000+ of passive income every mth. And i will expand the investment exponentially, so that before im 30 yrs old, i should have a million bucks to start my own business. All these is based on theory onli, so in reality, there will certainly be some external factor that will affect these plans. watever it is, i wanna be a millionaire b4 30 yrs old. i have 8 yrs to reach that goal ^_^. Wish me luck ba! Nothing much to write le, i guess tat's all ba, i go watch vampire le!

Its been ages since my last post. :P Been busy recently and juz didnt realli wanted to blog. hahaha... I will be clearing leave on the 18th of next mth and man do i look forward to tat. Life is normal as usaul and nothing special happened. I might be starting a business soon with my MO and another frend in a few mths time so lets c how my business goes. hehe ^_^. Daniel also asked me to invest in his com shop venture n i tink i will chip in as a investment ba.. i sponsor some cash and he will do the rest. well well well... i hope i can retire at 30 yrs old and travel round the world ba... hahaha... i cant tink of anything interesting to write leh... haiz.. i guess that's all todae ba... might come back to continue at nite if i got inspiration... :P

Alright, today is monday. i havent been blogging for quite some time due to unforseen circumstances. But here i am again, updating my life ^_^. Well, im clearing leave nxt mth on 19th of OCT le.. hehe, so happi, but dun know can find job anot, because its illegal to work while on leave.-.- But nvm, i got backup plan, if cant find job, then everyday go swim lor. Long time bo swim le, its a realli relaxing activity for me. Lazing by the pool, tanning and toking cock with frendz. sometimes also got gals to see... so fun sia.. :P. Hmm, i havent contacted any single gal for like 1 mth le, haha, except maybe MSN got say hi and bye ba. Dun know why leh, i realised living without gals tat u are interested in is realli....freedom. U dun have to tink too much on whether she likes u anot or is she safe right now anot. Things are simple rite now, my time and money is mine to spend. WUDI! But still.. i still gonna pay my bills which leave me with like $200 to live every mth...T_T.. NS sux... Later im going down to cut hair le, o_O dun know cut wat style leh...

Yesterday was my birthday.. boring day sia.. i whole day do nothing n noone except my family celebrated it for me.. haiz... in the afternoon i buay tahan liaoz, so i alone go down to queensway shopping center to buy PS2 games lor... i bought god of war and digital devil saga... both are realli nice games... GOD OF WAR is AWESOME... lolz... alot of blood and gore, my type of game. :P A lonely, but indeed peaceful way to spend my birthday. I realised that i now have veri veri little female frendz le... not like last time in secondary school... i always go out with a BUNCH of gals after school ..lolz... Those were the days sia.. hmm... although i know time cant be rewinded, but if its possible i would realli do the things that i never did in the past so that i wont regret them now... There is a few things i realli realli regretted doing or not doing in the past... one of them was going after huimin... lolz.. she's my first love and i feel that she's the best among all the gals that i've liked before... There is juz this sincerity in her eyes that make guys wanna devote their future with her... she quite a number of suitors during those days sia.. haha.. but she's settled with jianda from sec 4 till now le... so long sia.. hahaha.. wonder how's she getting on these days leh? (?-?) Another regret is not taking up lessons in boxing.. -.-.. i have the interest and the passion, but it juz didnt occur to me that i should go find some place to learn it.. haiz.. I should also have taken up rugby during those sec skool years, then maybe i wont be a fat piece of lard now.. -.-""... hahaha.. watever it is, im still quite fine with wat i am and how i look now. Though im a bit heavy, i actually get a pass in the looks department. But in future, i dun want a pass le, once i come out of NS and start working, i want a A* for my looks! hehehe... ( okay, a fat A* guy lah.. -.-) LOlz.

Reflection Day. Today i suddenly had a urge to reflect on some issues which have no link to each other at all. -.-. firstly, i remembered last saturday when i went to collect my ipod shuffle, i went to citylink mall alone. In the mrt, i saw a pregnant women standing with a her son and noone wanted to give up their seats for her... im standing so i cant help, but i keep staring at those idiots sitting on the seats to see whether they will 'automatic' abit anot... well, noone gave up their seat until at one station then a women gave up her seat to the pregnant lady. Those people claim they are human, but what i see is something other then that. zzzz. Then now comes the 'project superstar' blind guy, i was realli damn touched by his determination to carry on despite his disabilities and truly, he is a hero. Today is the 17th of august, and its corinne's birthday. 2 weeks ago, i would have did anything for her just to see her smile. But fate has it that i have seen through alot of things in my journey to maturity. I feel im just doing something for nothing, its not like i expect any thing in return but its just... haiz... Believe it or not, i didnt even send her one happy birthday message or contacted her today at all. Im simply sick and tired of this whole thing and just want to give up on everything related to her. My heart is no more with her, i guess she's really happy now that i have truly given up. I have lost a part of myself in my pursuit for her heart, and that is my basic common senses. My heart is now open again, but trust me when i say it wont be easily taken again. Losing weight and self-improvement is the top priority in my life now, and in future after i ORD, i will forge a career that really belongs to me. Can gals be trusted? Are all gals out to take advantage of you if they know u like them? Questions, questions and more questions, these mostly can only be answered by the gals themselves... They claim not to make use of guys, but have they realli considered the possibility of them crossing the line without knowing it? Noone will 'self-dissect' themselves and say that they are wrong, they will find excuses to 'prove' whatever measures they take is the one and onli correct one. Humans are all in all a selfish species, how do i know? well, because im human too. ^_^

Darwin's elder sister is so damn pretty.. lolz... Today i went to darwin's 'army-farewell' party at his house. I also saw darwin's girlfrend there.... Lolz, darwin so fat and lame also can find a pretty girlfriend, i realli suck.. -_-... Anyways, darwin's sister was realli pretty sia, haha, but she's attached to a japanese guy le, they even bought a house le..zzz... But its realli kinda ironic that darwin have such a pretty sister and darwin looks like....um... :P. Enough about her le, today was quite a okay day lah, but i realised my family now is slowly rotting le.. My father is going bankrupt and doesnt wants to support my siblings le..zzz, then my mum also veri jialat, have to work as a factory worker to earn a pathetic $700++ nia. We are now at this pathetic stage simply because my stupid father's money is all cheated by his mistress... zzz.. I dun hate my dad lah, he's still my father after all, but i have no more respect for him le... Other ppl got mistress still will support family and kids one leh, but he cannot make it lah... So i guess i have to have a change of plans ba, i dun tink i will be continuing my studies after i ORD le, i tink i go work abit to support my family through this period first. My mum alone have brought us up till so big le, its time i return the favour le ba. Heng i ORDing soon sia, if this type of thing happens during my BMT then confirm jialat liaoz. I go out also dun know work as wat leh, got what job can earn about $2000 every month one ah? im not selling ANY BODY PARTS hor. hahahah..:P i tink need to go for commission-based job le, so i can turbo sell the product to turbo earn money. wootz.

Hmm, im back here again le.. it seems tis blog is somewhere i can hide away from reality. Life realli is tiring sometimes, and i realised people do change with age. My best frend ah-wei is one veri good example, maybe its ME tat changed... i dun realli know, but his ideals were initially same as mine when we were young... Our principles, our thinking was so alike, but now, it seems all these meant nothing to him. Sometimes i realli tink he's realli childish, but how can i tell him? He tinks he's right in everything, but most of the time its not, he's always finding excuses for his mistakes... Im always keeping quiet and dun realli wanna confront him, but it seems he's going down the wrong road. haiz... I guess change is directly proportional to time ba, i also cant escape the tides of change... What does future have in stall for me? i wonder will i realli be the man i wanna be? can my dreams be fulfilled? Uncertainties are part and parcel of life, and although i dun like them, life wouldnt be fun and meaningful if we knew wat would happen would it? ^_^. 90% of my dreams are all quite unattainable in a practical context, but that doesnt mean i wont TRY... Sometimes people will tink of me as being proud,'haolian' and naive, but my heart tells me i CAN and WILL succeed. Anyways, i juz bought a ipod shuffle today...hahaha... but the guy tat sold it to me hor, realli damn funny sia.... he so quiet one, how to do business? hmm.... but he's okay lah, at least dun have the cock face. Looking back on my previous entries, i tink my blog is getting more and more philosephical ( i tink spell wrong le..:P) le... Finally for a end note before i go gaming again, advice of the day----> DRINK MORE WATER! :P

Reality. I always tot i knew wat it was until someone 'showed' me reality. What will be will be, no matter how hard you try, you juz cant get it. Career is what is important to a guy, and i guess im going in that direction le. Memories are there for us to reminises, not for us to live in them. What is past is past, nothing could turn back time... not even the most powerful man in the world could regain lost time. Right now the time lost when im typing all these is gone forever... and when i tink of this fact, im abit fearful of wat time have in stall for me... No more will love be number 1 in my list.... money and power should be wat a man realli needs....

Oh how have i grown and matured... i did something so brave and forthright yesterday. I finally sorted out our relationship logically and maturely. We will be frendz and there will be no love involved anymore ba, i wont put in any feelings from now on. hehehe. Hmm, im quite surprised i took it so easily man... im not sad or whatsoever leh, juz glad that finally our story came to an end... its dragging too long anyway and i lost enough sleep over her le. Im free now and now, the hunt is on! muahahah... :P