Velvety Reminiscence

Rain. I once commented when it rains, each and every droplet seems to carry the tears of every broken heart throughout history. How many have stood beside the window over the years, overlooking the same droplets that precipitates through time? How many hearts have yearned for their supposed pair? How many souls have been frozen by this solitude, induced by their so called love?

Im feeling abit poetic suddenly, so please pardon me. Some people say, men should not be overran by emotions, i say, its selective. Im absolute when it comes to investment and monetary matters. Social decisions i cut some slack, but im a sucker when it comes to love. I hold this naive belief that i must be the best i can to my girl, because she trust me and loves me enough to stay with me through the days.

I admit, like fei zai says, im not a player. I dont like to play, what i want, is a simple and faithful relationship. People say im fantasizing too much, in the end i will be disadvantaged. Even if im being belittled or looked down upon, i still hold strong to my beliefs, the belief that i must remain true to my lady.

Thing is, i rather keep getting hurt, then risk hurting the one who realli loves me for who i am. Im not whimpy, im not soft. I simply dont believe in betraying trust. I've seen alot of so called players, who toy with people's feelings. At the end of the road, they become lonelier and more ostracized. They score a so called social victory, but back to back, they've also lost a part of themselves in the process.

I dont know why im blabbering about all these stuffs, im not trying to say im perfect or anything. I just wanna voice out some stuffs that came to my mind these days. Anyways nobody exactly reads my blog, so i guess its socially safe to pen down my innate thoughts here. heh.

Days are as usual nowadays. Day in day out doing the same slack shit. Im still looking for a job, i had enough of the frontline banking industry. I wanna do something stable, where job stability is not an issue. Im looking to go into commodity trading or corporate finance. I seriously need a change of environment. Argh.

Finances wise, its a 'hand to mouth' situation now. My liabilities take up almost half of my take home income, so its seriously abit chui now. After some planning, its all in a pristine balance for the time being. So lets all hope that there is no shock to the system, and my assets and liabilities remaining in equilibrium shall we? =)

Jasonian Quotes: A woman stays by your side because they chose to, not because they have to.

Final Fuckingly~~~

Alright, im apologetic cause i've seriously neglected this space here. BUT, Im back guys and gals! hahahs!

Anyways alot of things happened while i was away for almost 6 mths. As in in my life that is.

I've played alot, and by play, i meant in the guys' way. My outlook on life, money and relationships changed alot. Call it a paradigm shift, or whatever you like, but to me, i realli did changed.

First of all, i've changed job, im now with POSB DBS, not OCBC anymore. And im not happy, seriously, im searching for a new job after like 3 mths on the job. I dun know what came over me when i accepted this rather then HSBC. Sometimes in life, you make the wrong decisions. I told myself, 'suck it up and find a new job jason.'. And that, im currently doing.

This time round, i dont realli wanna join a bank anymore. I have experienced the banks' perspective when it comes to consumer banking. Im more into Corporate finance positions now. I dun mind starting from scratch, but i wanna get into a Merger and Acquisition entity. MnA requires a variety of finance and social skills all rolled into 1. Its abit hard to explain, but in totality, MnA is very challenging and its realli my dream job. Infact, i hope to start my on Turnaround Management Firm in future if i realli go far in this career. heh.

Money. Im not trying ways and means to get additional income, and yes, i run the risk of being scammed, but what the heck, no risk no gain. Business wise im still looking for people to start one of my concepts. Its soooooo hard finding a capable IT person to do the website for me. Seriously its wtf. =.=

Relationships wise, i can only say i tried loving someone without prejudice. But it seems that person isnt realli worth it after all. I seriously dun mind alot of things, but the final point it seems, is that she doesnt realli feel for me in that sense. And so, moving on im again finding someone worthy. I hope the next girl in my life is somebody that's good enough, i dun need a perfect lady, i just need somebody by my side and i fucking promise to take care of her through life's ups and downs. Money i dun have alot, but i will give the best that i can give to her. So please the-fellow-in-the-skies, send me somebody that appreciates me and dont take me for granted. Please asshole, i dont want another bitch in my life. =(

Ah well, been so long since i've blogged man, it feels uber great to release the vent up emotions in electronic literature. Woohoo, feeling much better. And i shall start the quotes yet again, but this time of my own conceptions. heh~!

Jasonian Quotes: Im not a perfect man, that's why im looking for a imperfect lady to make me whole again.