Hot nite, damn hot nite. something is wrong with the weather tonite, its so strangely hot.
hmm, i feel bother, yet assured at the same time. Hmm, im now starting to formula something to start a business with. I wanna be a successful man by 30 yrs old, even if im studying, i can still tend to my little business and build a network of contacts first, so tat by the time im out, i should be able to go into larger businesses.

Should i become a importer of exotic goods? or should i just start a normal ebay business net? Actually, i've been tinking of a veri veri lucrative business, hahass. Lets do something tat im REALLI REALLI good at ba, how bout we plan and put into action romantic 'stunts' ? i start a company tat specialises in doing romantic stuffs for gals? guys can hire us to do various stunts, and i can OVERCHARGE them, muahaha, guys are soooooo stewpid when it comes to love mah, can cheat alot of money.. hahasss ( i was and is still one of them dumb guyz...-.-"")

Not a bad business hor? i mean noone have ever done tis thing in singapore, and then for little stunts, we charge around $500 ba, then for those big scale ones, maybe $1000 will do. ^_^.
Then if the guy gets the girl, he have to pay us additional 'commission' of 10%.
LOLX :P. I will be so damn rich by the end of the yr.. hahass.
Lets see how things goes ba, maybe nxt time, my company name will be symnonimous with romantic love. ^_^V


Life is full of surprises, and wat surprise me tonite is i have ran out of stuff to write.....
im like ---> wtf? i cant tink no more? hahass no lah, i just prefer to dun tink so much nowadays, cause tinking too much is realli bad for health. hahass

Well, but i can tell u one last thing before i go off. A girl looks the cutest when she closes her eyes and rest while sitting in the bus. hahass... then when u look at her, she kws, yet still pretends not to kw... lolx... so cute... :P

hmm, im bloggin again in the middle of the night because i realised i've been veri veri dumb...
i listen to wat my frend say, and i actually had a misconception of her.... Sun had wronged Moon... I dun wish to delete wat i have written as a testimonial of how silly i've been.
It has been a HUGE misunderstanding all along, she's as cute i imagined her to be.. hahasss...

But anyways, its quite ironic tat we actually got closer and i got to kw her more in this way. hahass, from tis misunderstanding, i got to knew her better and better. Well, watever the route, wat matters is the destination ba. Understanding a person naturally is the best and onli way to know a person completely, purposely going to understand her will onli result in deeper misunderstandings...

I dun blame anybody for the wrong information, i had it coming, i chose to listen rather then finding out for myself, so im just lucky tat i got away from deeper misunderstanding tis time. Im now starting to be a better man. Hopefully she gives me enough time to change my bad points ba.

Jason --- The man tat have listened too much and toked too much....

Have u ever realised wat u want isnt realli wat u need?
The above comment is pertaining to 2 issues here...

The first is regarding my rejection by NTU, I received the letter yesterday once i reach home. My mood was actually quite good, yet once i realised tat i have been rejected, i realli felt damn sianz, the feeling is even worse then being rejected by a girl. I felt my future suddenly felt so uncertain and hanging in mid-air. What will i become? Where will i go? But after some quiet moments yesterday ( abeit a lot of advertising on MSN to my frends...:P) , i have plotted out another road for me to travel down. My dream is to be an entrepreneur, hence no matter wat or who i become, my dream remains, the dream to give the best for my loved ones. Im a impractical virgo, my life long dream is to build a cosy yet comfortable house in the everflowing plains of switzerland, and spend the time there with my wife. And around the house, i shall plant my wife's favourite flowers... Yupz, im childish and immature, yet i kw how to realli love a woman, do u?

The second issue is actually sparked off a chain of thoughts after something tat happened in the morning todae on the way to work. I dun wish to say wat happened, but i realised tat wat i have always wanted, wasnt wat i realli wanted all along ba.
Do anybody know tat kinda of pain, when u realised wat seems perfect on the outside, isnt realli wat u want on the inside? The despair tat Sun felt when he realised tat Moon and him wasnt realli meant to be? Althought both of them are round, but they realli belong to different time and space? When they are realli made up of different composition of materials?

Time can heal, tat is wat Sun learned, yet he cannot fathom. Initially Sun thought by knowing Moon more, he can actually learn wat kinda material is Moon made up of, yet the more he knew, the more he realised tat they dun fit as one. Sun was vexed, realli vexed, he dun understand why he feels tat way and wat wrong he did, but Sun realised in the end, tat the problem didnt realli lie with him.

Sun is dumb and silly, yet he can accept people for who they are, and Moon is the exact opposite. Sun likes Moon alot, yet he also can see the reason within, which goes to show love isnt blind after all. Sun tried veri veri hard to know Moon and tried to find the glow and warmth of her heart, but in the end, something was sealing in everything. The lock needs a key, and a key, is wat Sun lacks. Should Sun forge a key? He could ask Time for a key, but wat if the key doesnt fit? Would he find Time again and again? What happens if Sun actually repeatedly got keys from Time, and one day, he realised someone else had opened the lock?

Sun likes to tink, but he is not childish and immature. He just needs to be understanded, will Moon ever tell him wat keys to take from Time to open her heart? Moon once told Sun to dun bother trying to get the right key, yet Sun isnt just a passerby in Moon's life. Sun wants to be a part of Moon's life, Moon shall never know the things Sun wanted to do for her, the happiness he wants to bring to her. Moon did not reject Sun, but its Sun's mind tat is singing a different tune from his heart. . . .

Will Moon ever realised tat Sun was realli such a person? Someone who realli wants to be nice to her? Sincerely? Moon must learn to realise tat she is not almighty, she's not always right, there are times when we must learn to accept other people's ideas and not rebuke them on the spot.
Sun is not criticising Moon, he cares for her, hence he wants her to comprehand that logic...
Moon shall never know Sun, simply because she didnt even noticed Sun in that sort of way.
Sun knows he's dumb, yet he's willingly dumb for Moon. Time blessed Sun with the appearance of Moon, yet Fate shall always be the barrier tat forbids... Will Time overcome Fate? or will Fate triumph over Time?...

Finally i finished writing the story between Sun and Moon. Will Moon be angry after reading wat Sun felt? Hmm, but personally i feel wat Sun wants is for Moon to understand. If Moon is offended, there's nothing Sun can do anymore. Sun is damn stupid and silly and childish and dumb yeah? ^_^...

Anyways, todae i boxed again, lolx, my knuckles feel sooooooo sore lor, i can even feel the pain sia, dun kw y, most prob my wrap is wrong again.. == "" stress sia, i cant even train for long sia, my knuckles ache after like 1 hr of punching lor, gan pua lousy. I SUCK. T_T
But yesterday was fun, hahass, i went swimming and tanning yesterday sia (0.0), long time never swim le, i still as good as ever.. lalala.. i went with stuart who drove us there and then after swimming we went to eat BAK KUT TEH, MUAHAHA, its so damn nice lor.. hahass.. I didnt like stuart in the past, i find him abit pessimistic, yet yesterday i totally understood him and accepted him. I realised my best asset is to accept ppl for who they are, unless they are like the guai lan raymond in office, he shall feel the fury of my fists one of these days... :P

okay ba, enough le, im writing a farking composition lor, ta ma de, machiam writing GP thesis like tat, hahass... alritey, i go off le ba, blog too much tomolo nothing to write.. LOLX :P

Tonite is another nite when i have tat feeling again... cold lonely nite and im here tinking about things again. hahaasss.... hmm, if u have frends tat keeps telling u negative stuffs, would u in the end be negative? would u trust ur instincts and observations more then ur frend's feedback?
seriously speaking, i would rather trust my own instincts and fail, than listen to people's feedback and fail. its my choice anyways. if i have chosen a road to death, i would accept it because its my choice. ^_^

now the issue of my maturity comes into the picture again, hahass... i kw normally im childish because i act in tat way infront of ppl. they say maturity emotes from within, but let me tell u tis from my experience. u will never kw how some ppl think because they never show it. im a open person, yet at the same time, deep within me, who realli kws me? Most of the time my childish exterior turns ppl off, but if they are willing to stay and find out more about me, then these are the ppl tat's realli worth making frends with, because they are the ones that realli wanna kw u as a person. they dun judge a person by its cover first.

Im a tactless and silly person, i might piss ppl without realising it, yet in the end, when these ppl try to kw me better, i actually became veri good frends with them. hahass, they stayed behind and was with me thru some things, and in the end, they realised tat im not tat silly after all. ^_^

i dun kw why im saying all these here, because wat matters most is in my actions and not my blog ba. i totally understand yet still here i am, bitching on these silly things...urm... am i gay?!?

alritey, now back to training, todae i hit 5 jabs per sec man! yeah! i guess after 3 mths i shal hit 8 hits le! ^_^... slowly but surely, im getting better at tis! hahass

on a final note --> Confidence is wat makes or breaks a man, its a veri veri thin line....

Alritey, life went back to normal le. FINALLY. hmm, todae was quite happening, hahass, i knew 3 new frends tis few days. guo liang is tall and gay, but he's okay lah, veri man, like me..:P
then there's puan who is 'quite' short, yet she's also quite cute at the same time.. hahasss.. her bf is even cuter sia, he's like...frodo?(JOKING...:P) hahsss... im not gay. :P last but not least there's wanni, who is sooooo lame sometimes lor.. hahass, but i like lame ppl, they're fun. ^_^ ( im lamer then her, so im the LAMEST ^_^ V )

But todae, someone from the tech side pissed me off totally. I transferred call over and he jittao attitude problem lor. Knn he heng i dun kw wat he looks like, but i kw he's in the office de. i shall keep a look out for who he is, then c how guai lan he can be. wanna guai lan bring it on! NO FEAR. ^_^ V <---( childish yet oh-so-manly...)

And well, the best news is this----> i have retaken boxing again! yeah! and im now in the conditioning and hardening phase le. muahaha.... im training nearly everyday once i reach hm, so im gaining speed le, hopefully can reach 8 hits per sec AND god bless the stupid bag dun drop down ba.... but the side effects are also starting to show le lor... my knuckles are abit painful cause i train everyday, and the ointment i use seems to make my hand's skin peel sia... i dun kw if its expired? LOLX... the best part is tis---> i lost around 3kgs le lor, and i just started like 2 weeks ago? Tis week off most prob i will be going to swim ba, its been like aaaaaagggggggeeeeessss since i swam lor, i also wanna sing ktv also leh, i wanna sing CAI HONG TIAN TANG... so touching the mtv, the FENG mtv and it is both linked, i watch both le jittao touched sia... tis type of thing could happen de meh?...

Hmm, sometimes life is like a roller-coaster. it can be VERI VERI low because of some veri complex things, yet it can go up perpenticularly because of some veri simple things.... ooo how i like life and it's ups and downs... *_*

As the final willows fall to the ground,

the birds shall chirp no more.

With each and every silent prick,

my heart shall beat no more.

Teach me, o please teach me,

how do u open doors that shall open no more?

The man might seem mighty and great,

but in the end he's just a boy.

Thousands acres spread beyond me,

when can i ever halt the travel?

contradictory i might seem,

but the truth is within.

A whift of arctic breath descends,

quietly freezing watever tat is left.

Death creeps upon the still-living,

as livid as the path we walk.

Have u ever seen the moon cry,

when it can never ever see the sun?

Eyes, they are the windows to a soul,

but wat use are they when her soul is not with her?

Time shall and always will,

bring back what she has given away.

yet the windows will never understand,

the soul tat was with her all along.

sincerity flows like a river,

it goes deeper and deeper.

until it can go no longer,

where does the water linger?

rain, it always brings memories,

memories always brings longing.

and wat does longing brings?

longing brought me despair.

AS THE FINAL FLAKES DESCEND UPON ME,

I REALISED TAT SOMEONE IS LOST.

SHE CANNOT FIND A WAY OUT,

BECAUSE SHE'S IN MY HEART.

15th April 2006,
Jason Lam

Todae, i finally got back my com.... the motherboard died on me 4 days ago... tat's y i was not online for sometime... tis few days alot of things happened. i realised tat im abit abnormal tis few weeks.... i tink something came over me and possessed me... my memories of the past just swarmed over me and overflowed onto someone else.

Now i tink i just live my life as it is, because there is no rush to do anything now. hahass, i told her everything and sort of settled out stuffs le lor..:P... but she;s still veri cute lah, maybe after we become better frends and i get to kw her better, i MIGHT like her as HER and not someone else? hahass...

my heart is now at peace le, finally i settled tis silly mess i made.. hehe...

Todae at work, i did something silly again. hahass.. i again transferred a call to my own department.. = ="" tat was so silly yeah? hahass... right now, im feeling abit emotional, dun kw y, maybe it was the nap just now at around 6pm? hmm... napping seems to make me soooo sensitive all of a sudden.. ^_^... since im emotional, i made a poem dedicated to someone who im actually trying to find out more about right now.... well well well, there's a secret hidden in the poem, try to see if u could see wat the secret is? ^_^

Dedicated to her.....

As the winds cascades past my face,

Deep within me a lonely soul raced.

Each and everyone of my senses moved,

Love have just descended upon the truth.

I have never known it could be so strong,

Never have i felt these strands of longing,

Every now and then, drawing me to you.

so did u find the secret? hahasss.. its quite simple actually, its dedicated to her. :P

i recently stopped playing dota everyday, mostly because i wasnt as interested in dota as toking to her. toking to her can make me quit dota, tat's cfm. I didnt even play my PS2 now sia, everyday just listen to songs, lie down and slack or box a few rounds... maybe games dun realli interest me tat much le, im much much more interested in FINAL FANTASY, if u kw who i meant. hahass....

but im never a person to harbour much hope, because the higher the hope, the harder u shall fall when it fails u. I've learnt it the hard way thanks to corinne, and i wont let history repeat itself again. When a guy loves a gal too much, its always catastrophe tat happens in the end... noone should loves a person too much, because over-loving onli makes the hearts bond too tight together to beat normally.... i have a tenancy to do just tat, i kw it hence im trying to prevent myself from being too good too her, because in the end, im just a guy tat is afraid of being hurt again... is she the one? will she change me? can she heal the scar in my heart?

Is She My Yuna/Rikku/Rinoa? <----( whichever she prefers.. :P).......

Hmm, sometimes, im realli not certain about the stage of maturity im at man... sometimes i seem so mature, yet sometimes i seem so childish... wat is the determinant factor for maturity? i realli am clueless to who im realli am... am i having split personality? omg... but i realli do have to do a status check man.. i dun kw y suddenly i have these kind of thoughts, but i guess i do have to reduce my fun loving side abit... im a tit bit TOO fun loving.... hahasss...

i have 2 faces actually.. haass.. when im with a grp of ppl, i tend to come across as a childish and fun loving guy, but when im with a girl alone, im a totally diffrent person.. hahass.. but girls always tend to miss out the second part of me because they deduce im a childish guy from first impression... lolx...

watever bahs.. im typing tis cause i suddenly have a urge to write down something. hehess.. ciaoz...

hmm, ytd i was so damn pissed.. lolx.. for something realli childish lah.. but seriously, i realli cannot fall for a girl. I will start to tink alot about her, then will result in my tinking too much.. = ="" i suspected my frend of backstabbing me sia... though i dun kw whether he got do it anot lah, but i tink he wont lah, he's a nice guy... lolx.. then ytd i just get REALLI pissed for the whole nite man, i cant even sleep.. im like --> wat the fark???!!? hahass.. well, i got over it after tinking awhile le... i mean, come on lor, so wat if he toks to her on msn everynite man? they're good frends mah, EVEN if she in the end likes him, tat's HER choice mah, everybody have freedom to choose one. So in the end, i learnt tat im just a sadistic pessimist.. = ="".. lolx.. u nvr know how much u can learn about urself whenever u do some self assessment.. ^_-...

so we come back all the way to the girl issue (yet again...zz).. lolx.. tis time, the girl is adeline.. = ="" starting i didnt realli notice her much, except tat she looks like my first love.. hahass.. but never did i kw as time passes..( 2 weeks in fact.. lolx) , i actually began to fell for her.. :P... maybe its the resemblence? anyways, i tried to sms her abit, but she didnt reply sia... but whenever we're face to face toking, she always seem so warm... hmm... i dun kw wat is wrong here, but im not going to dig out the details.. i rather let nature take it's own course ba.. so im not pushing anything from now on, we are working different shifts nxt week, so tat means i have a week to tink over wat i want. ^_^ V

But i tink from now on, i try to tok less and be less 'sunshine' in office ba. I should be a bit calmer.. lolx.. :P... so late le, i go sleep le ba, cheers for my growing up after tis incident and CIAOZZZ!!! *.*

Girls LOVE tis type???!!

The typical Bad Boy:
1) is cocky, arrogant
2)always puts himself first
3) is inattentive to a woman's needs
4) does what he wants when he wants to do it, regardless of what anyone else thinks
5) acts like a loose cannon
6) struts his masculine sexuality
7) isn't even remotely a "nice" guy
8) treats women badly
9) often uses women for sex

The Bad Boy exudes untamed masculinity, independence and confidence. To women, these traits -- especially confidence -- are an aphrodisiac. The problem is, in the hands of the Bad Boy, confidence becomes selfish arrogance. But women are responding to guys like this on a purely elemental, emotional level.
Just as men are turned on by a woman's femininity, so too do women respond to overt male masculinity -- and the Bad Boy has it in buckets. What's going on here is that she's having a gut reaction to his confidence and male strength, and is blind to anything else.


Dial up the independenceAct as if you couldn't possibly care less about getting women. Never change who you are to please a woman or in the hope that you'll get her into bed. Get involved in your own life and your own interests. Make plenty of time for male stuff. Your attitude should be: "This is who I am -- if you like it, fine; if you don't, leave."
Don't show emotionsBe indifferent and don't show you care. You should have a poker face at all times. Remain mysterious and don't let women know what you're thinking. Keep them guessing.
Furthermore, ration your words and make sure everything you say has a purpose. Don't volunteer information. Simply answer a question if asked.
Put the kibosh on crapRefuse to tolerate any female BS. When she tries to test you, don't give in -- tell her to grow up. Don't be afraid to say "no." Stand your ground, or simply walk away from a situation.
Get her off the pedestal. Run the relationship by your rules, not hers. If you don't agree with her, say so -- don't be a doormat in the hope of getting laid. And if she doesn't like it, show her the door.
Light your fireBad Boys are all about sexual confidence, and women appreciate confident lovers. So don't be afraid to let your natural masculine sexuality shine. This doesn't mean you should go around leering at female chests all day, but you should be comfortable and confident about letting a woman know you're attracted to her without becoming a pawing jerk. And when you do step up to the plate, make sure you know what you're doing in the bedroom.
Make yourself scarceFor women, guys who are too available are boring. Bad Boys are selfishly independent -- they aren't desperately hanging around women, hoping to get tossed a few scraps of attention.
Women always want what they can't have, so make yourself busy and scarce. Be a mystery man. Be unpredictable. Be a challenge -- let her do some work to get you.
Turn on the confidenceBad Boys always assume that women want them -- insecurity has no place in their personal vocabularies. This is the exact opposite of the usual male desperation. So your attitude should be that you're the catch, not that women are doing you a favor by talking to you.
You can't afford to be too nice -- catering to women, agreeing with every word they utter, paying for female attention (all things Bad Boys don't do) -- because women see this as "weak" and wimpy.
Be decisive and don't hesitate when talking. Don't second-guess yourself after you've made a decision. Voice your opinion and don't worry about offending others.
bad boys, bad boys


(Extracted from askmen.com)

Hmm, should i be a good 'bad boy' ? LOLX.. :P

Sunday. Tomolo im working in the afternoon, so i can sleep abit later.. hahasss... Yesterday went to Club MOMO to have fun. Which in fact we didnt realli get alot of fun.. = ="" But okay lah, at least i got to kw a new guy called vincent. lolx... another lame guy. The music at MOMO is realli different from those past tehcno clubs we went to.. hahasss, ah wei and me actually was quite out of place there cause we are more towards techno... :P. I wasnt tinking of going down actually, cause ah wei actually had a change of plans. But in the end, lets just say i managed to persuade them to tag along with me.. hahasss...

Hmm, life is quite okay nowadays, though im still quite poor. hahass.... I went to SIM yesterday afternoon to register for business management course. There was like tons and tons of babes there man... lols? But in the midst of doing all these things in my life, i realised one veri important thing... im still single.. = ="" hahassss, people always say being single saves u alot of money, but y am i still so poor after being single for so long? hmm, food for thought.... :P

The day before, i bought a green and blue striped polo from bossini. I sort of like the colour combi so i bought it on the spot. Nowadays my fashion fetish is polo t-shirts, ESPECIALLY abercrombie ones... omg, i realli realli want a few of those.. o_O...

Tomolo im going to wake up earlier to practice my moves abit, i realli hope that stupid bag wont go flying again...(most importantly, i MUST be able to wake up... hopefully....:P)

Todae i finally fixed up my punching bag again. Im going to start boxing once again. Im currently working in starhub now because i was sacked by the eyerelax new manager arthur. i sincerely hope arthur gets run over by a car one day, he dun die also useless. He sacked me because i was too verbal, everyone is afraid of him but im not. He issued a lot of silly rules like commission is onli payable if u sell 25 units per mth. wtf? he's completely stupid and senile, an old fart tat has nothing better to do. Watever the case, its still thks to him tat i got out of energie eyecare and went on to find a job with starhub.

I was quite impressed with the working atmosphere in starhub. its realli friendly and people there are so warm. I got to know a girl there called adeline, she looks REALLI like huimin sia.. hahass...(huimin's my first love) But she's veri fiesty and veri unlady-like....reminds me of the sassy girl... = ="" But watever lah, hahas, she's just a frend after i analyse my feelings. So now im kinda looking out for a good girl to come along ba. I dun care who she is, where she's from, as long as she's worth it can le. :P

Todae i got my final pay from energie eyecare le... 196 nia.. = = ccb.. so little... then i went to bought a polo shirt that is size M.... i too fat, cannot wear... zzz im tinking of changing the size tomolo sia.. lolx

Lost my shaver todae, damn sianz... my stubble have overgrown le, now damn itchy, i need a shaver, then i realised i lost it.. = ="" i look like a convict sia, although look veri manly, but its realli damn itchy... Tomorrow i need to go town, so i definitely need to shave. This few days abit boring, nothing much happen. I finished my stint as a promoter for eyerelax last week, now im a customer service executive in the office, but they havent told me when to start work man.. i tink most probably is nxt monday ba... hahass.. i was surfing thru frendster when i found this veri interesting equation.. lolx...

By right: NO STUDY = FAIL , STUDY = NO FAIL .
Which means: NO STUDY + STUDY = FAIL + NO FAIL .
Then: (NO+1)STUDY = (NO+1)FAIL
Therefore: Cancelling (No+1) from each side, we get -----> STUDY = FAIL!!!


LOLx... so funny sia.. hahass.. The equation actually further proves tat nothing in this world is absolute. It enforces the Chaos Theory's fundamentals. There is Order in Chaos and there is Chaos in Order. Come to tink of it, it actually links into the Theory of Relativity by Einstein. lolx... Nothing is relative yet at the same time, everything is relative... hmm... i tink it also branches into human psychology and emotionalogy too. hahasss... watever ba, im actually veri interested in Physics since i was young, i came out with a few theories of my own when i was in secondary school.. :P... But i cant take physics in university sia.. sad man. Hmm, gtg sleep le.. nitez...

Yesterday's interview was fast and quick. hehe... i sort of rejected the job ba... they wanted someone with a passion in designing machine parts, which i dun have, hence i told them my interest was in sales. ^_^... i can lie to them, but i choose not to, im a honest man. My family's pressuring me to find a job, but these things cant be rushed, its my future and my career. Im formulating a business plan now... hmm... working with a tight budget is realli difficult, but im starting to get a rough picture already, i guess i need around 5k initial capital... Im currently doing some research on how to go about setting up a business in singapore. hehesss...

Im saving some money so that i can go to hong kong for a holiday cum product hunting trip. i will need around 1.5k... haiz... money is always hard to come by man... why cant i be born into a rich family? lolx.... serene's birthday is also around the corner somewhere in febuary, which means i need money AGAIN.. haiz... what the hell man, money realli spins the world. = =""

I've decided to further my studies after considering for like a month? hahasss... i've applied for a few courses in NTU alreadi, but i tink my chances of getting in is next to nothing man.. i have like... 2 As , 4 Bs , 9 Cs and 19 Ds..... wat the fark man? lolx... if i realli get in, i will swallow my monitor on the spot. :P hahahasss.... But i do have a back up plan, which is in the VERI possible case of me not getting into NTU, i shall apply for either SIM or other private universities... haiz...when a man is stupid, he cant realli have a choice do he? lolx...

I tink im going back to work at eyerelax man... haiz... its kinda sad, but since im furthering my studies, i cant find a perm job now, so i have to settle with a temp job. haiz...

Wootz, Gong Xi Fa Cai! HUAT AH! Muahaha, now is chinese new year le, and todae i just went to collect ANGPAOs! Yeah! Todae was a nice day man, i saw my cousins ( They are DAMN hot lor... omg, can cousins be together? :P *Joking*). Hahass, todae's taking is around 100+bucks onli... haiz.. so little sia. But this money's gonna tide me through the first mth of my job, so cant anyhow spend. BORING.... I wanna go eat seafood platter leh! kaoz, i've been 'lusting' after it for 1mth plus alreadi, i realli realli need to satisfy my desire. :P Maybe someone can blanja me? You reading tis RX? LOLx...

Well, yesterday i found out why i didnt contact one of my primary skool frend for so long. I just remembered i didnt wanna contact him because he dun allow people to use vulgarities infront of him. OMG, i mean, come on lah, we are all guys lah. I admit using vulgarities isnt realli glamourous, but im a man who have the courage to show the real me to people when i interact. I realli feel people that dun ALLOW vulgarities are veri hypocriptic(i kw, there's a spelling mistake :P). He reminds me of stuart, another hypocriptic frend of mine. People like these tink they are a cut above the rest, but wat they do not kw is, they are cheating on themselves. Im not stereo-typing them, but its the truth, i've encountered a number of tis type of people. Stuart is among the worst of his kind, he always tinks he's veri gentlemanly and he's always rite, but he's ignorance will never bring him anywhere. May watever god he believes in bless him, because without tat blessing, he will never make it in life. ^_^"".

I just reached home after watching HUO YUAN JIA. Its a realli meaningful movie and in fact, its quite nice. ^_^. Martial arts is to instill discipline and character in a person, its not a tool to achieve personal objectives. I myself know how it feels sometimes when u r so pissed with someone until u wanna beat the shit out of him, but i learned to always reflect on the misunderstanding from his point of view, which means i always question myself before i blame others. Im not perfect, but at least i KNOW im not perfect. ^_^.

Well, tomolo i gonna go my grand-aunty's house to 'bai nian' le, so i tink im stopping here le, damn shagged sia, todae went so many places..= = "... tomolo also dun kw wat to where leh, must be presentable at least as a form of respect mah. And one more thing, unknown handphone numbers have been sending me greetings sia, i dun even kw who are they man, y cant people identify themselves even if they are just passing the silly chain-msgs? lolx... watever lah, nitez! ^_- *GOD-LIKE!*

Whole day at home. Rot. Im dying. Omg, i so poor now man... hopefully tomolo the job agency get back to me, i need a job veri veri badly man... hahass... i checked up on the SIM tuition fees ytd from peifen. Its like 5.6k per sem ... damn ex man... then there's like 4 semesters which totals the amount to 22k+? kaoz... Its so ex lor.. and there's transportation and daily expenses leh.. kaoz... i tink minimum need like 40k? omfg.... T_T

I've been sleeping veri late these few weeks and im like veri drained mentally... i've been tinking on some issues these few days b4 i sleep at nite. Girls always take me as a veri good frend rather then a prospective boyfriend, the question is why? After some pondering , the answer is actually quite simple, im juz too good to the girls i like, and i dun realli express wat i feel for them until its too late. They dropped hints which i never realli saw them coming. gosh.... Its realli ironic when im like the love guru to the guyz and they always asked me for ideas when it comes to gals, but in the end, my love life is so farked up. LOLx... The worse thing is, the ideas i give to them ALWAYS works. I myself knows how to treat a woman like a lady, but i basically didnt have a chance to realli have a girl i can call my own... The feeling of holding someone's hand and sensing the warmth of her palm meeting my own palm is like 2 hearts becoming 1. This feeling i know, i once held the hands of the first gal i have ever loved during my sec 3 orchestra camp. hahass.. we were playing a game and she volunteered to partner me although im realli realli fat then....
hahaha :P I remember i turned realli realli red man, hahasss, but she's veri encouraging and was leading me thru the dance. LOLx... its realli sweet memories and these are the bits and pieces that makes life worthwhile. ^_^. But wat the hell man, she's getting married soon to the guy that was my love rival then. You know wat kinda feeling tat is? The first love of ur life is getting married to another man? hahaha, its a bit bitter yet sweet because you know she will be leading a better life then she would have been if she was with you. There's also a nudging pain that will never subside man... but watever lahs, im a man, so i must learn to live with all these.

But that guy's rich mah, so basically im nothing compared to him.. = = money makes the world goes round. hehe. face the facts, these are all the facets of life.

Alritey, its time i go sleep le ba... hahas... whoever is reading this, feel free to tell me wat happened to your first love ba. hahass.. :P

(And one more thing, im also glad to have known you RXrocks. LOLX. :P)

Todae went orchard with richard to buy clothes (he buy, i alreadi bought. hehe). Didnt did much lah, just walk around the stupid town which doesnt realli have much apparel that interests me. The clothes are so BORING man... all the usaul stuffs, none of them realli appeals to me, so common. We went to TOPMAN initially, then we proceeded to far east plaza----> wrong move, far east sux man. After walking for sometime, we went to SUBWAY to eat some torpedoes. MUAHAHA----> EAT FRESH!

There was this 3 girls tat came and sat beside us, and they were quite hot lah. lolx, 3 pretty ladies man, but i didnt do much oogling though, im more interested in my sandwich. :P

Hmm, i gtg dota le, later then update ba. :P BRB!

Alritey. hmm, yesterday nite, i had a VERI VERI VERI interesting dream.. :P As usaul, i dreamt of a girl again.. *DUH*, but she's a veri special girl. In my life, there used to be a few special girls, but this time, its realli realli intriging...

Well well well, the girl is someone most of you people tat watch TV should kw.. lolx... She's in a talent show now, but i actually 'knew' her earlier during my poly days... She's one of my crushes during that period of time, lolx... i was still a 'kid' back then, which lead to me being more in the timid department when it came to gals... hahas...anyways, she's REALLI REALLI cute with HUGE eyes and i was sorta surprised when i see her on TV a few mths back.. ^_^ But come to think of it, what would happen if i got to know ALL OF MY CRUSHES back then? (For your information i had like 108++ crushes during my poly days... i know its OVERWHELMING, but hey, im a kid back then yeah? :P)

Anyways, although i know she's sorta unattainable now since she's now a mini-celebrity, i still like to tink that no woman on earth is unattainable... hahass... might sound abit overconfident but when u realli analyse the logic behind it, its realli true. No matter how beautiful a human being is, he/she will need someone's shoulder to lie on and most of the time, tat shoulder belongs to someone who doesnt realli have high points in the looks department. ^_^. Its a simple fact of life, when something or someone is beautiful, insecurities will be present, and interesting enough, people will seek to avoid that sort of inseurity which lead to their lowering of their basic requirements of a future partner. May it be looks, talent, money or personality, its realli all crap in the end, wat matters is WHEN AND WHERE in time they got together. let me illustrate on what when and where means:

When: The correct time period. There will be time when a human's emotional defenses are at their lowest, and this is when u need to strike. Be there for him/her at the absolute correct time, and you will capture his/her psychologically 'correct' feeling. An example is when some sort of tragedy occurs in some unearthly time when EVERYBODY seems to have disappeared, and at this silly time, another human being of the opposite sex appeared and tide him/her through this brief moment of pain, and shows affection not-seen between good friends, tis will trigger a reaction in the sub-conscious of the subject to tell him/her that this person is someone who will always be there for him/her. This theorem is not 100% true because there will be variants present. Sometimes, depending on the mental structure of the subject, the reaction triggered will be VASTLY different. But in this world, no risk no gain, hence judge for yourself when is the correct time. ^_^.

Where: The location where the reaction triggered took place. Lets call the reaction 'CHEMISTRY'. Everybody have a pre-determined level of affection for every location that they've been to or had seen in their life times. A veri good example is most people when asked about PARIS, they will link it to ROMANTIC. So now, 'researching' needs to be done to see what type of location will yields the best results. A good hint is the way he/she talks, derive wat type of cathegory she/he belongs from his/her speech patterns. When you get the location right, the neurons will automatically simulate the relevant emotions hence dramatically increasing overall positive emotions about you. But the best is to get the answer right from the horse's mouth.
(Seriously, i asked a girl where will be the most romantic place to pop the question and you know wat she told me? At the top of a #Ferris Wheel.. = =...)

#Ferris Wheel : A popular ride in the theme park which resembles wheel and spins vertically
VERY slowly.

What i have derived and explained above are simply little extracts from my life philosophy. They are based on what i went through in this lifetime. The conclusion is simply---> no woman is unattainable. Even the most beautiful woman in the world will succumb to the charms of a man who is a good 'CHEMIST'. ^_-. (I have personally not attained that level of skill simply due to the fact that im fat. *DUH)

Next lesson: Watever i feel like preaching. hehz..:P

Tampines at 1030am.... todae i went for an appointment. haiz.. this few days, i've been getting alot of interviews from insurance agencies... prudential and AIA is kinda like swarming me with so many offers to be an insurance agent man.... But insurance is realli veri veri boring leh... if u bo sales = eat dung. -.-" But the other companies which i sent my 'wonderful' resume to havent reply me leh... 1 week le sia... still bo reply.. haiz... So should i or should i not take up this insurance career? o_O watever lah.. haiz...

Saturday im going to have lunch with gil and company at cineleisure! yeah! FOOD! But RX not going leh, abit disappointed sia.. lolx.. u read tis sentence gal? TRY TO MAKE IT? TAKE EARLY OFF from your job? lolx... i kw u will read tis line. muahahahaha! But if realli cant make it then dun force yourself lah, i dun want u running here and there like a mad woman.. lolx.. :P

Tomolo im going to SHOP le! yeah!! im buying new clothes for the new year! YEAH! i aimed a levi's shirt for 1 week le, tomolo i go buy, i tink got 20% discount! yeah! :P but jeans abit ex leh.. i not much money to buy.. T_T..... haiz... y am i so poor man? god hates me.. i knew it....T_T...
(God, if u realli like me, please let me find a high paying job can? MUAHAHAHA:P)

I've planned how to spend my first paycheck after i found my new job EVEN BEFORE i get a job..= ="" I will enroll for a car license, buy a pair of cool shades and TRY TO WEAR contact lens... LOLx... i seriously suck at putting on contacts, but fraid not, i've got a optometrist frend who can help me! yeah!!! (Im getting abit drowsy... i need sleep... so i might spout some irrelevant stuffs... = ="")

Cannot le, i cant bitch anymore, i gtg get some sleep, im dying... = ="" nitey nitez!!! ^_^