Laughable

Todae, i have something substantial to blog about. Quite informative, according to me.

Firstly, remember the slimming pill fab that kinda blew over a few yrs back? Though im fat, i didnt even bother trying them, simply because they are so expensive man. Nonsense man, $200 bucks for a normal box of silly pills. Duh, i tink the real reason that people lost weight is because they pay so much for the pills leaving them with barely enough to survive the month, therefore lacking money to buy food and ultimately slimming down. Must be. Nonsense.

Second is about my sudden madness yesterday nite. I went berserk and downloaded 20 plus korean songs, especially RnB ones. I got the top recommended korean songs from googling and proceeded to download them. Legally. Ya right. And let me tell u this, korean RnB is totally sensational man. Im a RnB fan and therefore my benchmark for a good RnB song is quite high, but seriously, korean RnB ---> among asia's best.

Korean artistes like Fly To The Sky, MC Mong, EPIK, Taebin, Se7en and 1TYM are realli good. And taebin is a rough idea on how i wanna be, though im damn fat lah, but at least got something to aim towards. :)

This is Taebin.

I know, some of u will be laughing ur hearts out, to be truthful, i also find it laughable that somebody as fat as me will become like tat. hahahass, but its always good to have a brief idea of how u wanna sculpt. But its not as perfect, i want a slightly bulkier feel, asian guys are abit scrawny sometimes in my opinion. Ang mohs are most of time over-built. Its hard to strike a balance between bulk and definition, u have to sweat litres in the gym man.

This week i've been slacking off before i do a shock training to simulate the engines. Its not obvious that im training, because i dun walk around naked. duh. But i like what i see in the mirror, that's the most important. Being satisfied with urself beats satisfying others. heh.

My O : I have a feeling u kw u're my O. Its in the eyes gal. lol.

Jason's Simplicity : Im nobody special, but that makes me wanna make the extra effort to be somebody special to you.

The Economical Man

Unlimited wants, limited resources. The core paradox of Economics. It happens to everybody, and therefore the wiser folks tells us that satisfaction is the greatest wealth. Another side of the coin educates us to work hard and strive for the better things in life. Human psychology is ironic isnt it?

And since i belong to the modern era of mankind, or lets just say society bred me to think in the capitalist school of thought, i shall list out the stuffs i wanna get with the limited resources i have.
One more thing, since there is so much wants, maybe i should just list out a few ba.

First and foremost, i want either a BMW Z4 convertible or a Nissan Fairlady Z350. Both the rides costs around 150K to 200K, i know its kinda far fetched, but who the hell says i cannot aim high?

Next i want a Ray-Ban sunglass. I've been saying this for god knows how long and yet i still dun have the cash to buy it. Sad but true. Haiz.

Thirdly i want more apparels. Shirts especially, and also 2 leather jackets, one black one brown.

Fourth, I want a I-phone. Self-explainatory.

Fifth, a Ipod Touch. Definitely self-explainatory.

Sixth, I want a laptop to do my work. Its always better to use my desktop to play game, my lappy to do work. More efficient, more jason-friendly and more professional.

Seventh, 30 Inch Flat Screen TV to watch my shows and dramas.

Eighth, 20 Lots of DBS Shares. They're fucking expensive, but well worth the effort because the time value of money is increased constantly here.

Ninth, a Blackberry or PDA for working purposes. Its handy and totally worth the money when things start getting busier.

Tenth, last but not least, my obsession. Im mad about her and there's nothing i can do about it. What to do? List her as one of my top wants lor. :)

My O : Will i tio TOTO this coming friday?

Jason's Simplicity : Being overly obsessed with a person will only bring sorrow to urself sometimes, so moral of the story is dun let that person know. heh.

Blossom

The stark difference between the lives of a fit hunk and a fat punk never fails to astounds. Looks is not everything they say, yet its the face that attracts people to initiate contact. Lets stop chiding ourselves, we are superficial creatures. No escaping from that.

And the similarities between the sexes ends there. From there on, guys are spurred on by physiques and gals tend to look towards the inner aspect. A very huge respect i have for some gals is they realli meant what they say, they can see pass alot of stuffs and accept a guy no matter how ugly he looks. That i believe is something that alot find hard to do.

Yet when rejection sets in, do not tell urself that u were rejected simply because u dun have looks. Its just some kinda dumb excuse to convince urself that you were rejected because of some superficial stuffs and that people do not look deeper into you. Sometimes its not because u're ugly or ur personality sucks, its simply that people feels that their hands does not suit yours, its that simple. Why bother going to great lengths to tell urself that its because of some other factors that u can improve and hopefully things will take a 180 degree turn?

Improving urself is good, but not because u tell urself that improving urself will give urself false hope. Its crazy realli. I've been veri sick the past days as u can see from the previous entry. While i was sick, i slept for very long, and i suddenly have all the time and peace to look at myself from another perspective.

The cycle simply keeps on running, lets see how long this thing will run. The heart, besides being an organ, also is the traditional place to store your emotions. The heart must always be guided by the brain, if it ran on its own, things go awry and u go crazy. I know, things like this running in my mind is dumb, but it doesnt hurt to tink about it abit, im more of a philosopher then anything else remember?

Therefore now, the storm is over, i've recovered. I took sometime to get things right within me, its longer then last time, but its the only way to really purge things. Sorry for the long wait, im now back to being the fren u've known. :)

Alrite, i was toking about looks rite? Kks, right now im still obsessed with O. The more u behold, the more u find her pretty with an attitude to boot. Wootz~ But like i said, seeing is enough, i dun tink i wanna start anything rite now, i dun wanna give up the peace that i found after so many weeks of struggling. Right now i juz wanna concentrate my studies, my training and sorting out my silly NS liabilities.

Maybe next semester ba. This semester lets just restrict myself to those few close frens i have ba, i will hi-bye new people because i realli cant be bothered with them much. I know, i am a cb, but i rather be anti-social then get into some crazy shit again.

I know this is a long entry, but still i have to write this paragraph down. I have a feeling that very soon, a frendship will be put to the test. Dun ask me why i feel that way, im just worried will we become enemies if the test fails? Money is always the key factor in separating frends, i just hope that it will not happen to us. Im not being wimpy here, its just i've seen so many examples.

My O : When will the obsession end?

Jason's Simplicity : I am back to one. Simple yet complex to complex people.

Fuck

Im not feeling well. Feeling abit sick and feverish now. Fuck that feeling.

Tomolo is finance test, i seriously doubt my ability to think properly tml, im feeling damn heaty now. Tomolo suppose to play street soccer with the guys somemore, how? Cb one, always sick at dumb times.

Im nobody special, im just a normal guy struggling with my normal life. That's how i see myself, life is kinda routine these days as usual. Being a special person and being in the limelight is tempting at times, but i just dun wanna become a social butterfly. When i started out, i dun mind being friendly to establish a circle of frends to stick to, and after that i settle down. Why bother to know more people when the more people u kw, the more u are tempted to change? And change is most of the time bad.

Therefore i am anti-social to some extend. People introduce me, i give hi bye. Pretty or not, hi bye. For guys its different, as long as they are not too fucked up, i most prob will tok to them. Its hard to even afford a smile nowadays, my heart is heavy with alot of issues lining up in my life.

IPPT must pass,RT must book, ICT must defer, exams must pass, fats must burn, money must earn, bills must pay.... as if my life is not fucked up as it is. I do understand that thy shall not blame god or whatever fuck is residing up there in the heavens for thy personal misfortune, but still, its better then blaming myself. heh.

I know this entry seems rude and vulgar, but who the fuck cares? Im sick and feeling feverish, and im not being childish here, the problems listed above are fucking real. Tell me which of my problems are kiddish? Im no saint, therefore dun expect me to be mr nice guy all the time.

There's always my dark side that i dun show anybody, and this dark side always appears to be a respite whenever im at the lowest point of my life. Dun piss me off during this period, i am exceptionally violent and temperamental during this time. Dun believe people when they say a sick man is a weak man. That is not true.

I ate something wrong todae i tink, most prob is the chicken chop rice. Am i suffering from food poisoning? Went to the toilet 3 times alreadi, and worse thing is i cant fucking sleep because i had to study for the test tml. Fucked up life, fucked up body, fucked up test. Fuck.

My O : What's the key gal?

Jason's Simplicity : I buay song now.

Solo Solitude

Its that empty period again, where u have nothing much to look forward to. Finance test on saturday, yet there's no sense of urgency. Hmph.

While lifting weights in the gym todae, i saw the fat fat me. Still so fat, maybe its my diet? Anyways i had a sudden craving for sandwiches nowadays. Its unexplainable, i just love sandwiches. So much so that after training todae, i went to the market to buy lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, ham and bread. Once i reach home, i tried digging my toaster out, but in the end for some mysterious reason i couldnt find it.

Since im so smart, i used the oven to toast the bread and made sandwiches. Satisfaction. I simply love the taste and crunch of the sandwich. In skool nowadays, my meal consists of a sandwich and a low-sugar soyabean milk. Dun kw why, i had a realli drastic switch of taste after my cool-off period.

I understand everything takes time, but sometimes u do wanna rush things up abit, simply because change seems so slow. Perseverance, the long word that holds a even longer waiting time. I realized i've been so occupied with physical training that i have left out my boxing sessions. I miss those times when i vent lots of stuffs with every single blow on the sandbag. Balance is what i seek, and right now i need to spend more time on my studies, exams are 1 and a half months away man. I gotta clear the exams, then i can spend the holidays training up.

My O : Im so aimless now u kw? I wished there was somebody i could talk to.

Jason's Simplicity : The struggles of life are intrinsic or extrinsic?

Heart Felt

Jason's Feelings:

Heart still as water. i know how that feels like, its a very peaceful feeling, a tranquil knowledge that u have accepted things and moved on. I might not have what i wanted, and i may never get what i want, but i can accept that what i wanted was never meant to be what i can get. There's no such thing as someone who isnt worth another person in this world, its just the perspective on the issue.

What im glad is that at least sometime was spent considering the possibility before. For this 2 weeks, i kinda cooled off alot, and i guess its fair that i took the time off because put alot into this. In a way, its good, because this finally gave me the determination and courage to put my life on the right track.

Things are already rolling out on ah-wei's side, and the plan will be most probably be launched before ah-wei's birthday. What plan, i cannot say now, but i really hope this venture will be successful, because though i might not get very rich, ah-wei will be successful and can show those people that looked down on him that he can make it in life. Im not noble or what, its just a heart-felt wish that my best childhood frend can make his mark in life. :)

And regarding my O, she's really too beautiful to behold for long, i can only secretly look at her. I don't even have the guts to ask her out. hahahass, its kinda funny feeling like tat because since after secondary school, i never felt so kiddish and shy before. Call me pessimistic or ball-less, but i seriously doubt she will even consider going out with me, i mean, would u go out with a fat fuck?

Upgrading myself, is it really necessary? Lying to myself is one of my greatest skills, telling myself, after upgrading myself, what i want will be what i get. hahahasss, what an ironic and childish thinking, when someone likes u, its for who u are, not what u are. Its just predetermined that my hand doesnt fits hers, its that simple, so why should i tell myself that changing the shape of my hand will in the end fit hers? heh.

(Its raining outside, so im abit solemn, but i guess that's kinda how i felt.)

My O : If only fate allow me to bring you into my world.

Jason's Simplicity : I have planned my future, am i realli that simple after all?

相爱...

Lets talk about music today, i am compelled to talk about music. Why? Because there's a song that im addicted to right now. So much so that i kept repeating it on my mp3 player for 27 times to and from work today. I know, its crazy, but i seriously loved this song that much.

Initially when i heard the song from a blog, i thought its nothing super impressive about the song, but i still went ahead to download the song due to unknown reasons. After listening to the song a couple of times more, i found it getting better and better. I went to download the MTV and from then on, im totally hooked on this song, its realli sibei nice.

What is this song? Its ' Whatever they say" by DBSK. Nice until cannot, hohoho. Listen one time, high one time, walk also got 'wind'. I appreciate good music, and i appreciate good people that intro good music to me. Thanks :)

And so people, since im damn happy now, im going to intro a song to you people. Its a canto song, hence those that dun understand canto can pass on this one. But since im such a nice guy, im posting the lyrics here for u people to read and 'feel'. ^_^

相爱无梦
歌手：张智霖


跟你抱着未等于爱上
不再抱着未等于不想
你我在这分钟
说过无缘再见
下秒钟再凑巧碰上

即使一起貌合却又神离
分隔两地日夜挂着愁眉
再各自结新欢
却暗地拿你去比较现有的
始终偏袒你

有心爱你却爱不到
抱紧了你却又未想终老
再等到与对方失散以后
就会知原来谁最好
爱不到至会更想爱
抱紧了你我又无心装载
我跟你也破不到
男与女之间爱情的定数

一个过活恨抱着情人
一对过活又挂念谁人
到了话要分开
你我尚有恻隐
又再探听对方新闻

即使一起貌合却又神离
分隔两地日夜挂着愁眉
再各自结新欢
却暗地拿你去比较现有的
始终偏袒你

有心爱你却爱不到
抱紧了你却又未想终老
再等到与对方失散以后
就会知原来谁最好
爱不到至会更想爱
抱紧了你我又无心装载
我跟你也破不到
男与女之间爱情的定数

Go download and listen for yourself, its damn nice and meaningful. If u're still wondering what good music to download, i shall post my current favourites here so that u people can go get them. Music, the universal language that connects mankind, and to me, the miracle medicine for wounds of the heart.

Current Favourites:

01. Whatever They Say - DBSK
02. 相爱无梦 - 张智霖
03. 天使都忌妒的生活 - 曹格
04. Sean Kingston - Beautiful Girl
05. For Awhile - Mni 민재 (The 1st shop of coffee prince OST)
06. Day by Day - Zhao Guan Yu ( Witch Yoo-Hee OST)
07. 西界 - 林俊杰
08. 爱情转移 - 陈奕迅
09. White Love Story - As One (The 1st shop of coffee prince OST)
10. 想听的话 - 石欣卉 & 王健复

My O : I do wonder sometimes, what's the outcome if i found the courage to put down all my fears and for once in my life attempt the one thing i really tink is impossible.

Jason's Simplicity : Im too afraid to do brave stuffs now, the scars of the veteran is too much to take.

Estranged Sanity

Latest update: The wounds have closed. Things will be normal from this moment on.

Went dotaing with the guys juz now, had a fun time. After that had dinner with nich and rei at Al-almein. Nice chilling out with them, toked about some stuffs that kinda soothed me. Its not that serious anyways, im just too whiny. Anyways what's over is over, therefore fuck the past. Full stop.

My O, confirmed plus chop class S. No balls to even try, my O totally outclassed me. Will try upgrading my class. My O, wooo~~~~ totally there man. Okay, im mad. :)

The torture starts. Dun understand? Control diet.
Morning: Oats (they totally sucked.)
Noon: Whatever the school offers, no fried. ( Most prob sandwich, i love school's sandwiches.) Dinner: Whatever mum cooks. ( Same boring phrase, no fried.)

Whatever i blog now is abit segmented, because i havent defragmented my brain yet, its juz finished rebooted. To think smart and act smart, i have to defragment my brain in time for the finance test next week. Like what i told the guys, i shall begin my holy finance pilgrimage next tuesday. Though i dun totally understand what mervyn (my finance lecturer), what i kw is at least i understand more then the others. hohoho.

Alrite, enough blabberings, i going out in my fren's car. I've to thank jerjer and fei zai win they all, all these nites fei zai win drove me out at nite to clear my brains. I love going around in a car in the middle of the nite, veri peaceful and tranquil, superb condition to to un-tie the knots in my heart. Im so going to get a car when i can afford it, so that i can drive around at nite to enjoy the coolness of the velvet skies. ( Get license first ba, no license still tok about getting car. cb)

Oh ya, before i forget, i added a new section called --> My O !


My O: Its hard to concentrate when im affected by your aura.

Jason's Simplicity: Underlying relationships that were kept from me.

Im a whiny fucktart.

I am not myself. I feel hollowed out, as if something is missing from my life. I guess when u get used to something, it takes time to understand tat something that u have already taken as a part of ur life is gone. Feels like a void in the soul, to be more poetically correct. Anyways its been too long, and im too whiny, doesn't feels like me at all. Should stop whining and get on with life, easily said. Fuck.

Studies are gathering momentum now, its going to be exams soon. Im still pissed with failing my comm law, but gonna get it over and done with this time.

Some people like to send infuriating stuffs. Why do people like to escalate their own position and think that they are always right? Whatever they do is correct, whatever others do is wrong. What others do, the others wasting time, what they do, is beneficial for mankind, self-explainatory. My response for this kinda crap is dun reply.

I've changed, i realized. My perspectives are now very different, i always seek to be more absolute in my actions and decisions. My brain kinda crashed awhile ago, and now its slowly rebooting again, but deep within, a silent paradigm shift has occurred. I still reserve the kiddish me for my close frens, because i kw, they appreciate the fun and jovial me.

To add more nonsense to my woes, a story of dumb dumbs suddenly needs somebody to fill up a continuing episode. Let me dictate the dumb story of 2 dumb dumbs. Lets name the 2 dumb dumbs: dumb1 and dumb2.

dumb1 met dumb2 at CCA club. dumb2 is attached. dumb1 went out with dumb2. dumb2 tells dumb1 that he is better then her bf. dumb1 go army, dumb1 spent time with dumb2 whenever he is free. dumb1 likes dumb2, which is fucking obvious. dumb1 pops question. dumb2 reject. dumb1 suffers in army. dumb1 moves on.

agar agar 1 yr later~~~

dumb1 lives happily in camp, waiting for ORD. dumb2 calls at wee hrs. dumb1 listens, dumb2 was cheated and pours sorrows. dumb1 went out with dumb2. dumb1 pops question again. dumb2 rejects again. dumb1 and dumb2 became close frens.

agar agar 1 yr later again~~~

dumb1 wakes up, reads handphone. dumb2 sms and pours sorrows again. dumb1 feels dumb2 is realli dumb, things would be so different if dumb2 accepted him 2 yrs ago. Anyways dumb1's soul is with some other dumb person already. So how will the dumb story continue? Should dumb1 try dumb2 again, or should dumb1 just move on?

Answer : dumb1 moved on, never looking backwards again.

Nice ending eh? Should be lah, the script jittao is drama material. Full of the ups and downs of life and the illogical antics of the human mind. I can be script writer liaoz. And that's just one of the scripts in my collection of drama scripts.

To O: You're so damn beautiful. I just want you to know. heh.

Jason's Simplicity : After you've freezed before, u know a little flame can never melt u.

Classified

Men are divided into 5 classes in Singapore. Class S,A,B,C,F respectively in descending order of prestige. This school of thought was derived after gathering lots of information from guys and gals around me, which means its quite reliable. Character is excluded as a factor in this study because personality is too diverse and cannot be generalized. (As a sidenote, character dun realli play much role nowadays anyway, that's from personal experience.)


Class C:
Class C are the guys who are smart. Smart as in intellectually gifted and eloquent. They impress with intelligence and talents. They talk smart, think smart, and are talented in music or some other kind of arts. Most gals admire talents to some extend or another, but they all kw talent does not feed a hungry stomach. (They usually are quite humorous due to their hyper developed brain cells.)

Class B:
Class B are the good-lookers, or in layman terms, hunk. They impress with their physical prowess and blessed faces. 6 Pecs, megawatt smile, wonderful hair that seems to fall into perfect position everytime everyday. Young gals totally die for this category of guys. Most jerks exist in this category simply because they kw how to utilize their looks to their advantage. Pushing the extremes of stereotypism, we can conclude most of the guys here are abit lacking in the intelligence department. ( But lets not push over the boat with a single oar.)

Class A:
Class A guys are the rich and powerful ones. They are financially strong and have loads of extra cash to spare. More often than not, they are have further empowered with a successful career either thanks to their parents or more rarely, their own ability. Balding hair, flabby waistlines are never a problem to them, they simply rock the world with cash. Most gals are not materialistic, but the things these guys can do with money is the key to their appeal. Gals dun dig money, but they appreciate the THINGS that can be done with money. Logically speaking, its always better to be in possession of a guy with truckloads of cash then a guy with a truckload of trash.

Class S:
Class S. The godlike class. The guys that exist in this category are the perfect creation of god to bring about the downfall of womenfolk. God paid extra care and attention when forging these guys, purposefully sculpting a being of near celestial existence. The guys in here are smart, good looking with a beautiful body, coupled with a successful career with loads of money. Womenfolk usually address this type of male specimen as the 'perfect' man or 'dream guy'. This class takes up about 0.005% of the total male population in Singapore.

Class F:
Class F. All other failed male-kind are thrown into this rubbish dump. Guys that are dumb, fat, ugly, poor and jobless can be found here, the personification of trash. Gals that took their pick from this class are truly worth respecting, the courage involved and required is tremendous.



And so what class of guy do u belong to? If u are sub-standard, dun worry, because the world has something called hope. Human kind are born with a ability to transcend classes, especially guys. Climbing of the classes can be achieved after sufficient effort has been put in.

Example:
Jason is in Class F. Jason trains hard, studies hard. 2 yrs later, slimed down, looks good and fit, grad with a good grade. Escalates to Class B from Class F.

He finds a good job at a bank,works hard, after 2 yrs, takes home $8000 per mth, has investment portfolio of $200,000. Successfully converted to Class A.

At 28 years old, he quits his job, gathers his fortune and starts a business venture. Venture successful, 6 mths break-even, annual income after 2 yrs amounts to $ 2 million. Buys nice house and nice car, wears nice clothes at 30 yr old. Lets company runs on its own and continues to invest in and starts other businesses. His monies multiply exponentially, listed among Singapore's top entrepreneurs. Go Padang drink coffee and play golf with Lee. Continues training for fitness and plays the stock market to remain mentally charged. Jason has successfully ascended to Class S.


And so you see, noone will be poor and useless forever, its juz when the wake up call comes. But mind you, life as a guy is never as uneventful as the above, the story is just an example, it does not describes a certainty, but rather a possibility. For me, who happens to really belong to Class F, its a long way to Class S, but time is never a deterrent factor for me, i believe fate will not fail a person that keeps trying.


Jason's Simplicity : Chains of morality binds me to my innocence, that which i will never let go.

Volatile

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~~~~

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ARGH~~~~~~~~~~~~~

haiz.....

Out of focus, bothered, vexed, unsettled, me.

Prophecies

Sometimes u can learn alot from dramas and songs. I've been mellowed out by the korean drama 1st Shop Of Coffee Prince. Though life does not always happen like what is reflected in the dramas, u do learn some things that ain't realli that common.

The songs in the show were quite nice, and i especially liked 'For Awhile' and 'White Love Story'. The show's quite lame but there were touching moments lah, the way they handle relationships in the drama was quite fresh to me, the methods were mature, yet a childish tinge surrounds it all. Dun kw how to explain, watch it for urself. And thanks to the frends that introduced me to this top rated drama.

'For Awhile', i guess tat's wat i needed and what i got. No big deal anyways, its just for awhile. Chiding myself along this line of thought, the numbness sets in and the grey skies cleared. Been raining these few days, and i always have this childish thought that whenever it rained, the heavens is shedding tears at my unfair plight. hahass, its damn silly right? I know, but still its just me n my lame brain. :)

I've asked edward about piano lessons rates and he was telling me its $100 per mth. Expensive, cant afford, so i gonna pester my sister to teach me for free. Saxophone lessons are simply out of reach financially, so its gonna be postponed. Did some research on getting my license and though its more expensive, i guess i will take the school route. Hi BBDC, i will be the next donating money to u ppl.

Next mth i wont be as free as i am now, i foresee. Once the thing is launched, i will be quite busy hopefully, because that signifies we have lots of customers and money is rolling in nicely. Vickers account is going to up by then, which means the profit i get can be further invested to generate more income. Will the prophecy come true? The prophecy that i brought back from my japan trip? Dun kw what that is? let me explain.

When i went to japan a few yrs back, i went to this buddhist temple that is labelled as the most holy temple in japan. And i kinda looked around with a few frens, when i chanced upon this prophecy praying area. U simply get a cylinder and u shake till a stick drop out from the cylinder. After getting the stick, u remember the number and went to fetch ur 'lot' from the shelf of prophecy lots. My lot is 'bad initially, then good afterwards'.

It states that i will have a streak of bad luck for the start, and after i endured through the hardships, things will get better in future. I guess until now, its accurate all the way, i never ever have my wishes realized, and things i do dun go my way. One of the most depressing line is written as ' The person u are waiting for will come, but it will take a long time.'

And so i have a choice, to discard the prophecy, or keep it. In order to pray against the prophecy, i need to get to a tree behind the temple and tie the slip on the branches. Or if i choose to keep it, i need to keep in with me until the entire prophecy comes out true. If u guys wanna see the lot, just tell me when u see me, i always keep it in my wallet.

Jason's Simplicity : Just another frend. :)

废话

这世界公平吗？这二十四年来，人生给我的答案很简单。 世界根本没有‘公平‘这两个字。 ‘公平‘只是我们为了平息自己而想出来的两个字。

慢长的岁月，教导了我什么是诚意，什么是真心待人，但他也告诉我什么是失望，什么是痛苦。可能很多人都觉得，简简单单的放手，试着忘记，明天起来，还是美好的一天。 我也很希望爱情真的是如此容易放弃啊。。。


西边的落叶，
是否能飘到东边？
所谓的爱情，
真的需要火花吗？
傻傻的男人，
永远不是时间的对手。


我第一次用华语写废话，感觉真的很爽，但是很他妈的慢。 真不懂那些中国仔为什么能打那么快。 他奶奶个熊。。。

杰生的名语：无聊的人，会做无聊的事。 我真他妈的无聊。。。。。哈哈哈！

吃香蕉？

Boring Entry

Lets see, what shall this entry be on? Life? Nah, that's too complex. Love? Nope, its too disappointing to even think about. Money? Sad to say, im not fated to co-exist with that phrase currently. And so i guess there's nothing to blog about? No lah, cfm got stuffs to comment and complain about one mah.

Training dun seem as hard for me nowadays, i should up the notch more, self-torture is the way to a beautiful body. :) And since i've been on some basic conditioning these 2 weeks, i guess its safe to embark on the next phrase ba. Should be, maybe, can be.

Im gonna find out how to join some CCAs in skool, especially those with saxophone or singing as their selling point. Yes, u heard rite, CCAs man, its been sometime since i was associated with that 3 letters. hahas, im even considering dragonboat, but have to go kallang leh, sibei far leh. Haiz.

I have so much hobbies now that my time seems to seep slowly away from me, gone were those days where i literally rot my time away playing games man. I cook fairly well nowadays, but baking wise im still kinda rough around the edges, maybe need expert help?

Dreams and ambitions, 2 factors among the many that determines what makes or breaks a man.
Change happens slowly yet certainly, either make do with the certainty, or dwell in the horror of its certainty.

Jason's Simplicity : Money. Money. Money. How naive were those that dun believe in it.

Theories Of Evanescence

My birthday was yesterday, and hereby i once again thank those people that have been wishing me thruout the day ytd. thanks guys and gals, totally appreciate it.

Meiting was nice enough to get me a slice of cake for my bday, jiaying gave me a packet of half-used tissues, jeaneatte gave me a postcard she got from outside canteen, and lilin wanted to give me AA batteries, which i politely rejected. LOLX!

My sister gave me a t-shirt, and my youngest brother gave me a shirt. New clothes are always a welcomed gift :) Other then tat, its quite uneventful on my birthday yesterday, simply because the entire day was taken up by lessons.

Its astounding how much each of my birthday differs year after year. And as i looked back year after year, im getting wiser and wiser year by year. Though im none the richer, i went thru alot personally and all these things never fails to entertain me.

The winds of time can never be halted, as is the hands of fate that can never be compelled.
Complexity always serves as a mask to hide some unspoken ignorance, and i once again i preach simplicity. I remembered i saw this phrase somewhere before --> Simplicity is the Felicity of life. ^_-

(Thks R,G,E,X,F)

Jason's Simplicity : Naivity, the essence of innocence, the root of sympathy.

Memories...

Jason's Famous Quotes : A silent entry for a silent me.

Did You Know? : This is the last entry about our story.

CCM

Am i becoming an otaku? A defender of the home? lolx! Todae i almost whole day rotted at home, morning went gym, then noon went to jurong point to help my sis carry the new oven back. And once we reach home, i went downstairs to buy ingredients to bake my veri first batch of cookies. :)

I got the recipe for choc chip macadamia (CCM) cookies and therefore set forth to make the cookie paste. Its kinda like a combined effort between me n my sis, i manually beat all the ingredients and she took care of the baking. Each of us wanna bake for somebody, she wanna bake for her bf, and i wanna bake for... hurhur.. :)

And then i went to source for new recipes that i can try with my new oven, and pork ribs came to mind. St Louis pork ribs from Cafe Cartel~~~ Woo~~~~ Sad to say, i cant find the specific recipe, but i got this recipe that is quite similar to the formal, so i jotted down the details and will try it soon. I even posted a picture of the ribs courtesy of allrecipes.com. hahaas!


















BBQed Baby Backribs.... Mouth-watering~~~



3 more days to my birthday, and i have nvr looked forward to my bday like this before. After my birthday, i most prob will be in either one of the 2 extremes of emotions : Damn happy, or super sad. And hence i wanna tell myself, no matter what happens, take it in your stride. ^_^

Training wise, i dun feel much improvement in the performance department leh, though the definitions of the muscles are starting to appear, i still dun think i improved much. How to pass ippt like tat man? i still have 2 mths, so i have to step it up a notch. Training is now an everyday event if my schedule permits, and the only off day i give myself is sunday. =.="

Jason's Famous Quotes : True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

Did You Know? : A man that is well-groomed, has a career, is rich, cooks well, nice, romantic and has a 6 pec body only exists in dreams...or is it? hurhurs~~ :)

Winds Of Change

Long long day todae. Went for lessons in the morning, then rushed to sentosa in the afternoon to work. Though we called it work, its more like going there to play and enjoy ourselves. hahahs! Went there with nicholas and met up with 3 gals at the tram station. They were ah tan's frens and i have to admit, they're quite pretty. hahahas~~~

So we started work at the event at sentosa. I was in the tele-match team and therefore had to do alot of shit work. But no complaints lah, when i work, juz work lors. My mentality towards work is simply " just do it". No point complaining so much when in the end you still have to do it. The pay is not super impressive, but the main purpose is having fun there with ur frens while u work.

End of the event, my shirt was totally wet and smelly. I feel damn healthy todae, because i didnt eat lunch and i endured all the way till dinner. :p

Sometimes, even i myself am surprised at the rate of my mentality shifts. Some deep-shit problems that's kinda like a plaguing issue in my life can suddenly be resolved. It turns out my perspective of a problem will gradually widen up when i have learned to accept the fact that what happened is inevitable. And so my heart will open up and allow space for that discrepancy to exists, which leads to and old chinese saying : A man's heart must be like the ocean.

And so, as usual, train hard, study hard and dun forget, try to get someone's heart. hhahas~~ it rhymes...~~~ :P

Jason's Famous Quotes : If everything can be restarted, i would still choose to fall for u.

Did You Know? : My horizons have started to widen.

Iron-Willed

Life is all about choices, and my choice this round, is to do my best to make sure i am the best. Went running with the guys todae, its realli time i changed. Next week will be going to start a Vickers account with reilly and begin stocks trading. Next week i will also be going to register at BBDC to get my license. I've been putting off these things for sometime now, and i believe now would be a good time to start.

Studies wise i will be trying to catch up more, and i will try to reduce gaming time. I will be honing culinary skills by trying new recipes when i have the extra cash for ingredients. I solemnly swear that i will be taking my training seriously and will DEFINITELY run every alternate days whenever my schedule permits. All these are areas where i will improve myself. Its been too long alreadi.

Somethings have been plaguing me these days, i've been asking myself this question : Will someone choose you when even u urself wouldn't choose urself? The answer is obvious, and i think in life, we need something to work towards. Maybe this can be called a birthday resolution since my bday is just round the corner, on the 24th of august. :)

By my bday next yr, i must 1) be fit, 2)be rich, 3) cook well. Its easily said but never as easily done. hurhurs~~~ I do not intend to fail again. Trust me. I shall become a complete person, a complete man. ( no tanning for me anymore, i have a tendency to sleep and cook myself in the process...fark.)

Jason's Famous Quotes : Iron-fist Determination.

Did You Know ? : Its worth it. Believe me.

When we were small...

My dear primary school mates recently uploaded some pictures of our 'soccer' team when we were young. hahahss! Its kinda cute and funny how kiddish we looked then, the fat ones are fat and round, the thin ones were skinny like dun kw what. lolx! Anyways i've uploaded some pics for you guys. :)
















~~~62B Soccer Team~~~
















Im the cute one on the left with the 2 fingers~~~ hahahass!















Im the fat fat ronaldo behind kaiyang~~ lolx! Si bei fat lors~~ =.=


Looking at the pics, i kinda found what i've lost: myself. The 'me' that was buried after i left primary school, the 'me' that was timid yet innocent, the 'me' that was stress-free. I guess people do grow up after sometime, so as i grow up, i have chose to forgo my past and concentrate more on the future.

And so, my bday is around the corner, but i kinda figure out like every past years, my birthday wish and present will never come true. Sometimes thinking about it, why do i even bother to make wishes on bday man~~ hurhur~~~ Okies, im going to swim alreadi, maybe get a tan at the same time too. cya~~~

Jason's Famous Quotes : Accept. Digest. Swallow.

Did You Know? : What comes around, goes around. But i dun wanna be round. :p

Soul Sanctuary

There's this old song which i was listening to randomly this noon, which kinda sang out how i felt. And before i start blabbering about my day, shall post the lyrics here. :)

Back At One

It’s undeniable that we should be together
It’s unbelievable, how I used to say that I’d fall never
The basis is need to know
If you just don’t know how I feel
Then let me show you now that I’m for real
If all the things in time, time will reveal
Yeah

one, you’re like a dream come true
Two, just wanna be with you
Three, girl it’s plain to see
That you’re the only one for me and
Four, repeat steps one through three
Five, make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I’ll start back at one

(yeah)
It’s so incredible, the way things work themselves out
And all emotional, once you know what it’s all about, hey
And undesirable, for us to be apart
I never would’ve made it very far
’cause you know you got the keys to my heart
’cause...

one, you’re like a dream come true
Two, just wanna be with you
Three, girl it’s plain to see
That you’re the only one for me and
Four, repeat steps one through three
Five, make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I’ll start back at one

Say farewell to the dark of night
I see the coming of the sun
I feel like a little child, whose life has just begun
You came and breathed new life into this lonely heart of mine
You threw out the life line
Just in the nick of time

one, you’re like a dream come true
Two, just wanna be with you
Three, girl it’s plain to see
That you’re the only one for me and
Four, repeat steps one through three
Five, make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I’ll start back at one


Todae i went to chinatown with my mum and siblings, sort of like a family outing excluding my dad and 2nd brother. Hmms, shopping with mum never was a hobby, but the silly things my mum does while shopping realli intrigues me sometimes. hahahaS~~~

And when i reached home around evening time, i got a sms from aiying saying she need a listening ear, and so i went downstairs at nite to sit down a listen to her pour her woes. The usual stuffs again, her plight at work never ever got better. its kinda farnnie listening to her work problems because she naturally attracts daggers from the back. lolx!

And so she continued on about her on-off bf, which i think is a bastard anyways. Saw him before on a singing trip to kbox, and 1st impression was quite normal. But it turns out that he always get angry at her for small stuffs and always thinks that he's at the suffering end. Hmms, my advice to her is to dump this idiot and get on with life and find a better guy, she's not that young anymore, why spend more time on him after wasting 5 yrs in a break-patch relationship with him? Dumb rite? Gosh sometimes people can be so blinded. -.-""

After being a counsellor for 2 hrs, i tot finally when i reach home i can spend sometime playing DOTA with my buds, boy was i so wrong man. I got an sms from corinne, saying she wanna cry because of loads of other stuffs not going her way in her life. She's sad about how come she's so poor and couldn't afford a laptop which led to her cant doing her job at home. My advice to her is simple, dun feel sad and sorry for yourself, everything has a solution, and my solution to her problem is damn simple. Go get a second hand laptop or pay by instalment lah, ur're working and have a stable income leh. Short, simple, sweet. And after problem solved, thanked me for listening to her because her bf ignored her. And after that smsed her telling her tat's what frens are for mah.

The above paragraphs serves as my emptying point, because ppl pour things into me, so i need somewhere to empty all those stuffs. lolx! And since its not some secret that needs to be kept, might as well pour it all out. :)

The above instances kinda happens to me sometimes, when my frens need help, i listen to their woes. I dun realli think of these as a waste of time, because listening to people's problems will infact make u a better person. Hearing how fucked up other guys are infact make me more determined to not be like those bastards, and to be wary not to stoop as low as them.

In listening to stories, we must also bear in mind that there are 2 sides to a coin, so i always takes one-sided stories with a dash of salt. A wise man once said --> Thou shall not betroth the entire truth one singular perspective....( that wise man is me. hahahas! )

So summing this entry, i qualify as an expert counsellor, good frend and potential wise man. hurhur~~~ :P

Jason's Famous Quotes : Too fast too furious leads to a fast and furious death.

Did You Know? : Everybody is a story, and when stories intertwined, its called fate.

Angelic-afication

Okays, this might sound slightly crazy, but im toking about this in a subtle and sensible way. The thing in question is, have u guys and gals ever experienced this before? Like when u behold somebody for sometime, u realised that tat person whom u are so used to seeing, is actually so beautiful? Hmms, sometimes i wonder how could i have missed out details such as this~~~

Looking, not staring at someone that you've known for sometime is normally quite routine and normal, so naturally u feel that person is like no different from other people. Yet, at some unforeseen and random instance, when u realli took the time to notice, the beauty sorts of beams and shines on you like some holy light from the heavens. lolx~~~

I truly believe, the above discovery can only be made if that person is a good person. And my definition of good, refers to somebody that has strength of character and is a sincerely nice person. No matter how pretty u can be, with an ugly heart, time will mutate and distort beauty.

And so i shall end my slightly insane description of the phenomenon called " Sudden Angelic-afication ". Hurhur

Recently, i liked to keep quiet sometimes and listen to people speak, because i guess im learning to listen more and talk less.... hohoho~~~ Talking is tiring, though u transmit and communicate your thoughts, i juz feel abit boring talking so much. hahasss. But sometimes being too quiet causes an aura of uneasy silence to hang in the air, and that effect is further amplified if u're in a group of frends and everybody sorts of keep quiet all of a sudden. So that happens when there's a team of 'listeners', and when there's a team of 'talkers', a irritating term ensues~~~ noise.. :P

My monetary policy currently is geared towards the 'poorer then beggar' status, because i didnt work for the past mth. Hahass~~~ If things go smoothly, then maybe my first payment will come in during october, and by next year june, i should be driving a BMW convertible. hurhurs~~~ Yet i have to keep quiet about stuffs for now, im not supposed to say anything to anybody, not even those most dear to me. Its not that i dun trust people, its just that i have a responsibility to keep my promise to the other shareholders, a man of integrity will not betray the trust that his fellows placed on him. :)

Changes can be slow and subtle, there's no need to kick up a ruckus on how things are changing. People can feel it, slowly but certainly, the conversion setting in. Its sort of like stirring agar agar that's already settled, the agar agar changed form, but its still agar agar, though its now softer and sweeter. And in the unfortunate event that you dun like watery agar agar, u can always put it in the fridge to freeze it again. There's no need to throw the agar agar away even if u dun like it, because its not the agar agar that matters, its your mentality that dictates your preferences.

Jason's Famous Quotes : Speaking in riddles is damn tiring.

Did You Know ? : People talk, cockroach walk. So be careful what you blog, learn to mask things behind a lock. :)

~~Soul~~

Lazy again, hence the break in between entries. Been wasting my time at home this week because there's no lessons for almost the whole week. Went to NLB to study and do research with kuku ytd, which in fact i didnt realli do much except gather materials to insert into my ER essay. Hohoho, after that we went to eat around as usaul, when it comes to food, we're always willing to go try diff stuffs. hurhur~~~

Todae morning went to gym as usual, and i went 'fast and furious'. I finished my workout in like 35 mins to 40 mins, simply because todae i did circuits. :) Keep training without rest, alternating all the different stations as fast as possible. And i was super tired man, to the extent i couldnt even do another rep, which the regulars know it as fatigue. ^_^

I kw im going to fail my ippt no matter how hard i train within this 2 weeks, because i started abit late, my running is cfm going to fail. lolx. Though the idea of RT totally suck, after thinking it true, why not? I mean i go for RT, i get money, i can train up as well, and if i tried realli hard, i could get a silver or gold then get money for it. So all in all, 2 days per week at maju camp from 5pm to 8pm aint that bad after all yeah?

I tink there's 3 core problems to tackle so that i can be a better man. My 3 flaws are No money, No body,No honey. A solution to the money problem is currently under development and if the plan takes off, i will be driving a BMW within a year. Body wise, im training hard to lose weight and get a rock hard body this time round. Im extremely determined this time because 2 of my good frens are training up as well, and since i have the build alreadi, i cannot lose to them. Sean and Richard, wait up man, i cfm train until i become Fit Zais like u guys!

And of course, the other reason should not be spoken, and need not be said, because its worth it.

Nowadays, im obsessed with jazz and blues music. Kenny G is one of the best saxophonist in the world, and his music is so smooth and sexy. Listening to his songs sooths me alot and brings me into the mood for romance. hahahas!! Im even considering learning the saxophone, but its too expensive for me, a basic saxophone costs around $3000 bugs.... sianz~~~~

Food wise, i've learnt how to prepare chicken cordon bleu, a famous french dish. I added my own personal touch to the recipe, which is adding vodka instead of white wine. The results is quite satisfying, but the dish itself is very rich and creamy, making it veri sinful. Healthy eating i say, so this recipe most prob will be reserved for those fat-craving days. :P!

Jason's Famous Quotes : The whisper was so careless that i kept singing careless whisper.

Did You Know ? : In my pursuit of you, i learnt and grew up alot. Thank you.

Morbicity

Distance, can be measured by a ruler. But some distances, can never me metered out. Through our daily lives, we do slowly drift apart from people as we become more preoccupied. The simplicity of life and relationships gradually disappear from the scene.

I tried to breathe, think and believe in simplicity, yet it seems life's choices made the above mentioned to be a luxury. The cycle of logic is simple yet confusing, mentally we were taught to think in depth, yet when we reach the pinnacle of the so called 'in-depth' thinking, we tried to revert to a simpler methodology of viewing things and events. We sort of came one full circle and in the end, we end up at where we started.

Todae i shall not emphasize too much on the greater thoughts, but rather, i will try to dwell more on more mundane issues of life. If u guys do notice, i started blogging quite frequently these days, well, when im vexed, i naturally will need a place to shit it all out, so here i am, updating almost daily. :)

I read sean's blog this afternoon and i think his blog is much more happier then mine. Its not as dark and sorrowful as mine, kinda more 'sunshine' feel to it. Maybe im a 'darker person' mentally hence to morbid feel to my blog?

Talking about morbid, do u sometimes feel hopeless regarding all aspects of life? hmms, sort of like when u look far and wide over the horizon, no matter how hard u look, u can never find the sun. And everything seems so 'in ur face' with deadlines and the various 'endings' staring down at u. I tink normal people call it 'stress' but does stress comes packaged with sorrow? Farnnie rite? Gosh~~~

Jason's Famous Quotes : Beyond the surface, lies another face.

Did You Know? : Empty vessels makes the most noise. Im the noisiest.

KPKB

Juz woke up and dun kw why, i juz feel like bloggin. hmph~~~

Yesterday was a long day for me, went for noon lessons, then went to meet corinne for dinner. My hair was a mess yesterday because i started using a new wax, and that wax is SUPER STRONG, which means my hair is literally standing around and looked like some kinda cap over my head. -.-
Which means basically everybody was laughing at me man. hohoho~~~

And though yesterday wasnt so uneventful, my heart hurts alot man. The Man Above seems to be reminding me what a failure i was. Classes ended at 430pm, then i headed to canteen to get a drink and sort of pacify myself in the process, and then went to take bukit timah plaza to buy new boxing gloves. I was ripped man, fuck. Lousy gloves cost me $34, which in fact costs onli $28. Knn the uncle fucked up one, pua cb. Toolanz...

Anyways after getting the gloves, i went to take bus 77 to get to cityhall. Taking buses should rot more time because im meeting corinne at 7pm mah, and i can also take the time to consider the earlier events. Long bus journey, and i was sitting on the reverse seat, which means those kinda seats that u say opposite to the normal seats, allowing u to see the people on the whole bus. Wasnt people watching as i did usaully, because was preoccupied with my thoughts, and i was looking out the window, when i came up with a theory again. hurhur...

Everybody was looking at the scenes outside the bus as the bus moved forward, and i was looking at what the bus went pass. That signifies 2 different perspectives that a human being can view the world in. Either u look forward to the future, or u glanced towards the past. I look to the future with hope, but since im a sentimental person, i hold memories dearly close to my heart. All the past seems to be alive and replaying itself over and over again in my brain, the happy times i've spent with the people that im most happy with...etc... but well... im still... hahass... nvms. :)

And when im deeply pondering my emotions and was sort of down, guess who i saw? I saw peifen on the bus, with her boyfrend that is. And i was kinda wondering what if i accepted her hand back then, would we be like where they are now? Happily ever after? But i do understand that she's just not my kinda gal anymore, so i will still stick to my decision even if i have to choose again. And so i managed a weak smile and waved a bit, then continued with my brains racking.

When i met up and was walking over to yuki-yaki with corinne at marina square, guess who i saw now? I saw adeline. Gosh, at least she's with a female fren, not with some boyfrend if not i would feel worse. And so the usual stuffs, smiled, waved, said hi, and then bye within 5 secs. And then as i walked away, i keep tinking the man up there likes to play around with me. First, he gave me hope, then he took it away, then he made me see them again just to rub it in. Ya, i guess tat's his hobby in his freetime. But i guess i cant blame anybody or even Him, because at the end of the line, i sucked. Not that im pessimistic or low esteem or watever, its just that there must be something wrong with me that warrants such a devious fate to be impaled upon me.

Regarding the Tale Of The Apple that i wrote about in an earlier entry, i left out a critical aspect called Mutuality. No matter how much effort u put into the tree, the tree must have a mutual feeling towards u, if not, no matter how much effort u put in, its useless. So ya, the theory of Mutuality of Feelings must be present.

My nice frens and good people tells me im a nice guy, but am i realli that nice? Am i realli that good? I dun tink so. If im so nice and so good, why would things be at the state that they're in now man? So please stop telling me that im nice and all that, because i know, saying im nice and all that doesnt change the facts and the state of things.

When im tired, there's noone. When im down, there's noone. When im lonely, there's noone. Self explainatory.

Jason's Famous Quotes : My song will always go unsung.

Did You Know? : Im not a blue chip after all.

Holy*Man

Future. A short word with a huge meaning behind it. It personifies a human being's hopes and dreams, and most importantly, it also chronicles that person's impending life journey. Alot of people often asks themselves this question --> where do i see myself in XX yrs? And then they plan their XX yrs so as to achieve that standing that they aspire to possess. And since nothing is free in this world, what is lost in exchange for that status elevation?

Multiple physical and emotional sacrifices are made for tat simple goal. Extra long working hrs, less time with loved ones, seemingly endless obstacles etc. But the most critical sacrifice of all, is the sacrifice of morality and conscience. Although it does not apply to all cases, it does happen to a hefty percentages of us. Human morality and conscience is what separates us from other animals, yet these things are some of the most easily disposed of.

The big big question comes back to me: Will i become a ruthless and heartless creature in the pursuit for my mark in life? Will i betray my morals and do some despicable stuff just to get what i want? I guess its quite difficult for me to join the dark side, simply because i always try to live by my "Theory of Transcension".

My theory states that everything in this world is transcendent, everything is inevitable to some extend. What you get and what u have, will gradually be gone someday, and that someday is really not that far away. That leads us to picture the world as a predetermined entity, a place where everything is planned in advance, and we are simply acting out our roles as assigned. That is not a picture i wanna paint and explain using my theory, though some religions do condone and encourage this kind of mentality.

I believe that since everything disappears someday, u should take everything in your stride. Even failure can translate to a future greater success. Failure will only lead to greater success, that is my theory of "Inevitable Success". So the greater number of failures, the greater the success when it comes. :)

Do not view monetary matters overly seriously, like what the old people say, "You dun bring it with u when u are born and u dun bring it with u when u die.". If u can see pass the facade of money, u see money as a tool and resource, not as a god.

To better demonstrate the Theory Of Transcension, we come to the concept of 'if something has a start, it will always have an end". And since we can never truly stop something from ending, we must learn to appreciate it when we have it, and learn to let go when its time. In relationships, i believe in fully enjoying the time when we're together, and when the waters of fate has ran dry, letting go is always the best and only beneficial resort. In frenships, the same applies, appreciate the frens when u still have them by your side, most frends u make in ur life time will move on inevitably. I remember my various 'best frends' from my primary school, sec school and poly lifes, we used to do so much stuffs together, and now we dun even call each other and when we do see each other at gathering, we just smiled at each other.

The only best buddy i have for 14 yrs is still veri close with me fortunately, though the route of 14 years ain't really smooth sailing. hurhur. Primary school i have this guy called jonathan as my best frend, we disturbed and bullied people together, and have lots of fun. But after we left primary school, we didnt even called each other anymore. hohohoh.

And secondary school, i have a guy called jiansheng as my best frend. He's abit on the gentle side and most people shuns him thinking that he's gay, lolx. But now i dun even have his contact number and i havent seen him for years. Upper sec, i have a best fren called fadhir ( yes, he's a malay) whom always sticks to me. We were fans of fantasy stories and naturally, we had lots to talk about. Yet last year, when we went back to sec school for alumni meeting, i find i had almost nothing to talk to him. He's still the jovial and naive kinda guy from the past, but he's a tad too kiddish. I wanna talk about market forces and he wanna talk about starwars' THE FORCE.

I tok about politics and he answers with power rangers. So how do you expect me to converse effectively with him? He talks about cartoon and animes all the time, and im more looking forward to a fruitful and more intellectually stimulating conversation. The above example demonstrates the credibility of my theory to a Tee. When our mentality matched when we were young, we click naturally, but as time erodes away the child in me more then in him, we dun click much anymore. Relationships are transcendent too. :)

Some people might have this question --> since everything is predetermined and will eventually end, might as well dun do anything and rot at home rite? The fact is like a train and the track. If u want the train to arrive at the station, u need a driving force, without the force, the train wouldnt even move. And our effort serves as the force to help us reach the next station on the predetermined track. :)

Wow, its been sometime since i've came up with some sort of theory and its a wonder i can blabber so much on such short notice. lolx. The above may appear to be crap to some people, but i have trust in my theories. hahass :)

Jason's Famous Quotes : Rome wasnt built in a day. Keep trying.

Did You Know ? : Trying dun equal bugging. Dun be a bugger.

Tale of the Apple

A man planted an apple seed into the soil one day. He took care to cultivate the tree slowly everyday, watering his love and his devotion into the tree. He took efforts to pull out weeds around the tree day by day, watching his beloved apple tree mature into a healthy and beautiful plant. And when the harvesting season comes, the tree bore fruits that are tasteless.

The man wondered why, when he used so much effort and love, the tree bore tasteless fruits. And so, unable to decipher what is wrong, he sank into despair and sat below the tree drowning in sorrow day after day. A week later, his apple tree slowly wilted....

The next day, his neighbor was walking pass this man and saw him sitting quietly below the dying tree and shedding tears quietly. Concerned, he proceeded over and asked the man why is he so full of sorrow. The man told the neighbor his story and the neighbor, after listening to his plight, took out an apple from his bag and gave it to the man.

After taking a bite, the apple is surprisingly very sweet and tasty. And so the man asked his neighbor how come his apple is so nice and sweet. The neighbor replied : " I showered my tree with love and devotion, taking great care to weed out the weeds everyday and show the tree tender loving care everyday." . The man was obviously very puzzled because he did the same thing too, but his results wasn't what he had expected.

And hence the man begged the neighbor to tell him the formula to his great tasting apples. The neighbor smiled and told the man this : " I too went through the same thing as you, my tree also produced fruits that were tasteless, but then, rather then wallowing in despair, why not u use the time to continue cultivating the tree, waiting for the next harvest period? Although this harvest period might not bear sweet fruits, we can always look forward to the next harvest, and the next next harvest, so on and so forth..."

I was on the mrt coming home from school just now, doing my usual reflection of the events in my life when i sort of visualized this story. Alot of people became sad and sorrowful after somethings in their life did not went their way. As is with me, but then thinking about it, rather then sympatizing and feeling sad for your plight, u might as well use the time to do something about it. Being sad and everything does not change anything at all, but if u did something after your failure, you will taste success finally. Nobody fails forever, there will be a day u will inevitably taste sweet fruits.

I truly believe what makes a man, is his spirit and his will. So what no matter how many hits u take, how many blows u receive,remember to stand firm and stand tall in the face of adversity.
there's a phrase in hokkien for this never-dying spirit, its called PA BUAY TOU! :)

Jason's Famous Quotes : If u treasure the tree so much, remember not to give up the tree.

Did You Know? : Professionals call this spirit---> entrepreneuring spirit. -.-"

Random Tots

Been watching the whole Young And Dangerous Series on crunchyroll these days. hohoho, the shows kinda rekindle the long forsaken flames of my youth. Hahass, its so nice watching them after so long and i do respect how chan ho nam actually carries himself. I guess lots of guys of my era look up to chan ho nam as a role model, but seriously speaking, none of the people i kw came close to him at all. hahas! Maybe its cause he's a fictionous character lah, but i dun believe people that values loyalty still exists todae. :)

Ah wei's cousin derrick was chatting with me about some mundane stuffs on MSN yesterday, and he said something that i sort of dun agree with. Are all seemingly 'bad' people realli bad? Are gangsters all evil? I dun tink so at all. What determines what kinda person someone is, is definitely not he or she looks to be, its what is inside the heart that matters. A lowly hooligan may infact be someone that helps and saves people in times of need, whereas ironically, a top notch lawyer may in fact be a selfish bastard that only cares for himself and his precious status.

I tink everybody's parents will most prob educate us on a very famous phrase -->" when u grow up my child, please be somebody useful and dun do bad things and join gangs". And its under this type of environment that we are injected the concept that gangsters and hooligans = evil. But have we ever saw through the common illusion that exists in our society these days? That modern top-earning professionals are in fact the most terrible beasts that exist among us, those that schemes and plots with that dark dark heart of theirs for others' downfalls?

Im not condemning the entire cohort of people, but till this day, i never fail to wonder how human beings can degrade to such an extent. When people say that we are leaving our barbaric ancient ways behind and advancing to a more civilized world, i beg to differ. True, we are advancing and learning more and more elegant and acceptable ways of living, but deep inside, our hearts are degrading at a alarming rate. We hide behind masks, we operate with a motive, we resort to unscrupulous means juz to get wat we want. And hence, as we grow more 'civilized', our hearts grew darker.

What causes such huge extents of degratory effects? I suspect its something called education. With the introduction of strategy and tactics, we employ schemes and plots into our life to further our self-perceived 'fame and fortune'. In the past, education was much more mild and traditional, people get education to seriously become educated. Sadly, people get education now to become rich one day, not to get educated. A phrase that i coined is simply people nowadays are "getting educated without being educated.".

Hurhur, enough with blabbering about my own opinions of society, im also guilty as charged. hahass :P Evil people exists in this world so that i can see them thru my eyes and remember how degraded a human being can be. Each and every stroke and move is slowly seen by me, and bit by bit i've seen how scheming people can be, acting all nice to somebody but deep inside, they want something from them. Be its lust, money, power, i've seen all of them being done. :)

Tomolo the day is about going to gym, then swim, then in the evening cooking for my family. Lolx, i've become sort of a chef at home now and im going to try different recipes every week. Practice makes perfect mah, and i tink culinary skills will realli come in handy if in future im going to work overseas. hhahas!

Jason's Famous Quotes : What seems light, might in fact be dark.

Did You Know? : I always try to judge myself first before judging other people.

I Wish~~~

The recent events that occurred in my life tis few weeks is what i called the cursed period. Alot of unhappy things are happening in my life to pull me down. The army is forcing me to abandon my studies and go back for reservist, which i am going to get prove and then escalate this incident to national level.

Even though MP helped me, my fucking cb CO just dont see the cb point that i am a FULL-TIME student and i paid to study. I tink he just fucking look down on SIM students, how come NUS and NTU people juz need a simple letter to get deferment, whereas i need to go through so much fuck? He wanna play around with my studies and my future rite? Okies, lets play, im going to the forum, newspaper and the relevant departments. And if its possible, i would like to take legal action too. Juz wait and see. Bastard.

And then there's my studies to worry about. Todae juz went for my first finance lecture and im truly glad i made the switch. Im totally into finance and what the lecturer said is like a revision of the book that i read on stock exchange. I feel that finance shall be my strong subject this semester. As for the other topics, that's where the problem lies, im not that confident anymore after failing my comm law...haiz...

And adding salt to the wound is that it turns out that she realli dun feel anything for me. Im glad we sorted things out 2 days ago, though toking bout these type of stuffs over MSN aint realli that nice lah. I understand her wish to stay single and realli have sometime to cool off from the past relationship, but its juz this weird feeling within me that pushes me to at least get an answer. And at the end of the road, the answer isnt what i realli wanted, though im getting used to the same sentence over and over again-->" Sorry, but ur're not my type." -.-"

Anyways things were sorted out and i guess now is not the time ba, and so, i postpone wooing her to a later date. Right now i juz try to keep the feeling in stasis within me and just continue being good frens lor. Whether its possible in future anot, lets just let fate decide ba. Bottomline is this ---> no special stunts or watever silly things that can potentially embarass her. lolx!

Right now, since i have everything locked away, its time to train up for my ippt. Will be taking ippt on 15th august and though im fat and useless, i shall try to pass it. hohoho. 2 days ago, i finally picked up my butt and went downstairs to the stadium to run. Its been like 3 yrs since i last ran and as u ppl kw, i dun like to run. I was so incredibly vexed and pissed up that i forced myself to run, its good because exercise helps me vent my frustrations out. Todae i went swimming after what seems like ages and indeed, the swim calms me down alot, clearing up some of the entangled emotional problems within me.

Tomolo will be meeting zhengyi at the gym to do some weights. Good time to train my pull ups and tone up abit. Im even considering joining dragonboat as a CCA in skool but im kinda worried what happened during poly days will repeat itself, i dun wanna fail anything again. -.-"" One more news is rei is suddenly interested in the martial arts and he asked me to join a martial arts with him. hohoho. The other guys are considering joining either aikido or muay thai, and since im mad about the arts, im fine with anything. ( except those that are too expensive lah~~)

I dun believe in making empty promises and unless i realli forgot about it ( i have short term memory...my memory is onli 64MB...), i will do my best to honour it. That's why i dun tell people that i will 'wait' for them. Remember, guys that tell u that they will WAIT for u, are lying. What they meant by WAIT means ---> If another better gal comes along, i will jump ship, in the meantime i wait for u first.

My birthday is coming nxt mth. 24th august! hohoho, im going to open a chalet and invite frens.( as usual~~) but i still dun kw how is the format gonna be. As in im going to book a chalet for 5days 4 nites, but i dun kw which day call which frens man, or maybe everybody come down cluster fark on my bday? hmms.... For this year, i alreadi kw what birthday wish i will make and what present i want. There's only one present i want, and noone else can give me that present. hahass~~~ nonsense lah, tat's one present i dun tink im going to get unless god finally stopped playing tricks on me. -.-""

Long entry eh? hohohos, tat's the thing with lazy bloggers like me. We blog long long entries and then for the nxt few days we juz sort of disappear into thin air. hohohoh~~~ poof~~~~

Jason's Famous Quotes : 2 forces drives people. Money and Love.

Did You Know ? : If onli wishes came true. hmph.

Non-Chalant

Someone once told me that im too sensitive sometimes, for that, i do agree. Im a sensitive person that tends to read too much into small and silly stuffs. And i myself, on the contrary, is a callous person that dun realli read too much into stuffs i say or do to other people. Basically my input is bad, and my output is worse, so i guess in the end, im still a bad person?

Was 'counselling' junhao on the the gal he wanna get because he's sort of down that time. I know im in no position to realli console him, but anyways i realised his condition is somewhat the same as mine. He told me that the though the gal dun feel for him in that way, she actually took to initiative to ask him whether he likes her anot. And that made him and me respect her, because she's a very daring and upfront gal, so all the more junhao should cherish such a gal.

Okies, enough bout other people, this blog should be about me most of the time rite? lolx. So where were we? Oh ya, im a insecure person too, i dun lack confidence, but i just am naturally insecure i tink. I dun kw how to explain myself lah, but its that kinda insecurity u have that bugs u every now and then, its reoccurring and veri irritating. -.-"

Hmms, and now lets come to another topic, will a piece of white paper become black when immersed in black ink? Logically speaking its a resounding 'yes'. But logic also extends to real life situations, whatever kinda environment and what kinda people u have around u can drastically change ur course of life. I believe i did blog about my experiences with the extremes of both ends and how it forge what i am todae. Anyways what i wanna say is, what crowd u mix with makes u what sort of person. So tat's why our parents told us to choose our frens carefully. :P

And peter, what u said on the tag is correct, i agree with what u say, its a monopolised-country. Sad but true, and the added inflexibility further improved the notion that its a one man country. Our government is a good government nonetheless, simply because we are corruption free. Sometimes u will wonder, how come we are well known as corruption free? The answer is simple, there is a phrase called open corruption.. -.-""

And so, the big question looms again, should i or should i not? Move on?

Jason's Famous Quotes : Unknown the unknown.

Did You Know? : I tink im going to fail my ippt. -.-"

Cook De La Jason

Todae stayed at home the whole day, woke up in the afternoon and after washing up, started my day 2 and a chef in the making. hohoho! Started on Sour Cream Pork Chops, then halfway thru made Double-Baked Potatoes so that they both just nice same timing finish cooking. Heehee.

By the time im done with both dishes, its around 5pm alreadi, so its like dinner time, and then i excitedly started tasting the food to see whether its well done anot. Hmms... in the end.. HOHOHO, i realised i am damn talented can? hahass! The pork chops is veri veri nice and tender, cooked to perfection and the potatoes, lets just say my brother and sisters cleared them up within minutes... hahahass!

But i still tink the recipes can be perfected further, because this time, the herb i used was thyme instead of bay leafs and maybe i can add some nutmeg to further enhance the taste. As for the potatoes, the onion taste is still quite strong, maybe i need to saute it in the pan rather then using the microwave? hmms...~~~

Anyways, here are the pictures of the 2 dishes i made todae :)
















SOUR CREAM PORK CHOPS


















DOUBLE-BAKED POTATOES


Heehee, looks abit gross i tink, but still, looks can be deceiving! :)

And so, learning to cook is good, cause i always try to cook food with lots of love and affection. Cooking with love always make the food taste that bit nicer. :) And therefore, im going to look for more recipes to experiment with, and be a home-grown chef. hahass!

Jason's Famous Quotes : Talents are within, skills are learnt.

Did You Know : Cooking is realli fun. Hohos, especially when the product is nice. :)

Nightly Nights

The night has always held a special meaning for me. Im more a night person and i simply love the stillness of the night. Nights in different city has different personalities, metropolitan nights seems sleek and posh with the dreams of every urban inhabitant feeling the atmosphere as they go to sleep. Whereas in the more laidback places i've been, the nights there are tranquil and inspiring, after a hard day's work at the fields, the fatigue of the day seems to float pass u riding on the cooling winds.

One of the more memorable nights for me was during my trip to japan 3 yrs ago. I happen to be in toyko for the last day of my japan trip, and i went out for a walk around my hotel around 12am. The city seems almost deserted as compared to the morning rush, and as i looked up the sky with the cold wind brushing through my hair, i saw the moon. I know we see the moon almost every night, but to me, every country has it's own moon view, therefore, i made myself a veri funny pact.

Im going to travel the world and see how the moon looks from different lands. :) I know its dumb lah, but i when i gaze upon the moon, i wonder whether the one i love is also gazing upon the moon at the same time. The tranquility of the night brings out a peace in me that is never found at other times, the cold night winds instills a calm in me which escalates me to a very emotional state. Therefore, silent and cold nights are guaranteed catalyst for a super romantic me. The best and quietest me happens on raining nights, rain also brings out another emotional state in me, i simply love rains. hahass.

So you see, im more towards the nights and rain aspects. Normal guys like the mornings and the sunny days, but i dun kw why, i just have preference for the contrary. Another thing about rain is that it brings out increased levels of courage and endurance in me, i dun understand why also.
Im much more deadly when its raining, hahass. :P

All in all, i tink i function especially well in temperate climates. So since Singapore is a tropical country, i suspect im not functioning at my optimum level... :x LOLX! So you people kw i have lots of dreams rite? Yep, after my dream of getting rich starts to become true, im dying to show someone what i meant by nightscapes of different cities.... U know, sort of bring that special someone to countries, then huggle up and enjoy the differing tranquility of the various cities. Hurhur~~~

But well, lets come back to reality, first thing first, i gonna realli find a way to earn some good money so that i can go overseas for a holiday. Then next target is to bring my mum to hong kong because she realli wanna go back there to take a look ( she lived there before she married my father, and yes, she is a singaporean. ). Shopping is her own money lah, travelling and other stuffs i pay lors~~~ :)

Flashing back, i realize this entry has alot of details on my preference for nights and rains. hahas! But its also quite true to say that im a romantic yet self-depressing person. Lonely nights and cold rain anybody? They are all stuffs that portrays depression, but to me, they hold different meanings. Tada, tat's all for the day. ^_^

Jason's Famous Quotes : Romance of the Velvet-Ebon Night.

Did You Know ? : The later the nights, the more empowered the emotions.