Velvety Reminiscence

Rain. I once commented when it rains, each and every droplet seems to carry the tears of every broken heart throughout history. How many have stood beside the window over the years, overlooking the same droplets that precipitates through time? How many hearts have yearned for their supposed pair? How many souls have been frozen by this solitude, induced by their so called love?

Im feeling abit poetic suddenly, so please pardon me. Some people say, men should not be overran by emotions, i say, its selective. Im absolute when it comes to investment and monetary matters. Social decisions i cut some slack, but im a sucker when it comes to love. I hold this naive belief that i must be the best i can to my girl, because she trust me and loves me enough to stay with me through the days.

I admit, like fei zai says, im not a player. I dont like to play, what i want, is a simple and faithful relationship. People say im fantasizing too much, in the end i will be disadvantaged. Even if im being belittled or looked down upon, i still hold strong to my beliefs, the belief that i must remain true to my lady.

Thing is, i rather keep getting hurt, then risk hurting the one who realli loves me for who i am. Im not whimpy, im not soft. I simply dont believe in betraying trust. I've seen alot of so called players, who toy with people's feelings. At the end of the road, they become lonelier and more ostracized. They score a so called social victory, but back to back, they've also lost a part of themselves in the process.

I dont know why im blabbering about all these stuffs, im not trying to say im perfect or anything. I just wanna voice out some stuffs that came to my mind these days. Anyways nobody exactly reads my blog, so i guess its socially safe to pen down my innate thoughts here. heh.

Days are as usual nowadays. Day in day out doing the same slack shit. Im still looking for a job, i had enough of the frontline banking industry. I wanna do something stable, where job stability is not an issue. Im looking to go into commodity trading or corporate finance. I seriously need a change of environment. Argh.

Finances wise, its a 'hand to mouth' situation now. My liabilities take up almost half of my take home income, so its seriously abit chui now. After some planning, its all in a pristine balance for the time being. So lets all hope that there is no shock to the system, and my assets and liabilities remaining in equilibrium shall we? =)

Jasonian Quotes: A woman stays by your side because they chose to, not because they have to.

Final Fuckingly~~~

Alright, im apologetic cause i've seriously neglected this space here. BUT, Im back guys and gals! hahahs!

Anyways alot of things happened while i was away for almost 6 mths. As in in my life that is.

I've played alot, and by play, i meant in the guys' way. My outlook on life, money and relationships changed alot. Call it a paradigm shift, or whatever you like, but to me, i realli did changed.

First of all, i've changed job, im now with POSB DBS, not OCBC anymore. And im not happy, seriously, im searching for a new job after like 3 mths on the job. I dun know what came over me when i accepted this rather then HSBC. Sometimes in life, you make the wrong decisions. I told myself, 'suck it up and find a new job jason.'. And that, im currently doing.

This time round, i dont realli wanna join a bank anymore. I have experienced the banks' perspective when it comes to consumer banking. Im more into Corporate finance positions now. I dun mind starting from scratch, but i wanna get into a Merger and Acquisition entity. MnA requires a variety of finance and social skills all rolled into 1. Its abit hard to explain, but in totality, MnA is very challenging and its realli my dream job. Infact, i hope to start my on Turnaround Management Firm in future if i realli go far in this career. heh.

Money. Im not trying ways and means to get additional income, and yes, i run the risk of being scammed, but what the heck, no risk no gain. Business wise im still looking for people to start one of my concepts. Its soooooo hard finding a capable IT person to do the website for me. Seriously its wtf. =.=

Relationships wise, i can only say i tried loving someone without prejudice. But it seems that person isnt realli worth it after all. I seriously dun mind alot of things, but the final point it seems, is that she doesnt realli feel for me in that sense. And so, moving on im again finding someone worthy. I hope the next girl in my life is somebody that's good enough, i dun need a perfect lady, i just need somebody by my side and i fucking promise to take care of her through life's ups and downs. Money i dun have alot, but i will give the best that i can give to her. So please the-fellow-in-the-skies, send me somebody that appreciates me and dont take me for granted. Please asshole, i dont want another bitch in my life. =(

Ah well, been so long since i've blogged man, it feels uber great to release the vent up emotions in electronic literature. Woohoo, feeling much better. And i shall start the quotes yet again, but this time of my own conceptions. heh~!

Jasonian Quotes: Im not a perfect man, that's why im looking for a imperfect lady to make me whole again.

I know i have not been blogging for ages. This few mths i kinda spunned out of control. Allow me to say i have learnt alot this few mths from september. Lets just put it im becoming a ASEAN diplomat soon. Hahasss.

Been drinking almost every single night, im now a night person alreadi. And thanks to some divine intervention, i suddenly felt like reverting back to my normal self. Im kinda stuck with a fair thai lady currently, she kinda made me lost track of myself. Or rather, i myself was too engrossed i guess. She's a realli nice girl, but ladies of the night always have secrets here and there. I was not veri used to all this shit initially, but now my mentality shifted. Its all a game, and its how you play your cards.

Amidst all these lies, there are indeed a few truths. Honesty infact is a quality i value more then anything. Im attracted to honesty more then anything. A month back, i used to have a set of rules laid out to protect myself from the shroud of the night. The legends are true, the night have a aura that corrupts and changes people. Sad to say, i have flouted every single one of the rules when it comes to this thai lady.

Her name is Kwang. I realli fell for her. Hahahah.

Initially when i went to the pub with my frends, i didnt realli wanna tok to her. I know deep inside if i went after this girl, i will realli fall for her and this will completely screw up my life. I tried ignoring her for 5 times, in the end, under my fren's encouragement, i went for it. And then the downward spiral starts....

I wouldnt say my life is totally screwed up currently, but its not looking veri bright now. I woke up in time to assess my current situation, then i realised its not realli worth it for a single person.

My future is bright beyond belief, i lost myself in this 3 mths. Im supposed to be putting my monies and talent to greater use, to build an empire of dreams, not investing in somebody that i have never even saw the colour of her underwear before. To put it crudely, its dumb lor.

If she likes me, will auto come to me, no point making somebody the centre of my entire life. My entire life should be revolving around me, myself and i. Not somebody that i dun realli know well. Hurhur. Thankfully, i've seen thru all these, and im not too hard on myself, simply because i count all these as life experiences. You dun learn all these shit in school, you onli learn it in society, and i guess paying for education is prim and proper. Hahaha

Anyways i've applied for a number of offshore positions, hopefully i get short-listed and called up for interviews. Im dying to take up a regional role where i get to fly around on business trips. I have some financial shits to clear at the moment, and once i cleared them, most prob will start building my war chest again. hiak Hiak. =)

I trying to ask for 3.5k basic, i seriously hope i get it. lolx.

These few days is fucking hot. Nb fuck the cb weather. Pui.

Ok, enough of whining. Was facebooking and then at a small corner, suddenly saw a familiar face.

Clicked through, and realized its adeline. Its been sometime since i've seen the starhub people, the last time we had dinner was 3 or 4 years back, everybody have been doing their own things and i guess we didnt have time to gather to catch up.

I went to take a look at haojun, edward, kenneth etcs profiles to find out how they are getting on in life, and its quite amazing just a few years back, we all started equal, and yet now, some are further in life then the others. Wow.

In retrospec, i also have came far from where i was initially. Its kinda interesting when you mentally revisit the emotions and feelings during that exact point in time, and look at it with the current maturity perspective. The dumb things you do, was not that dumb that time, yet now, its totally and completely dumb. Then again, you do the dumb things you do that time because you still have the innocence and naivety that signifies purity of soul, and now, the soul is tainted through the years and you tell yourself you will never do dumb stuffs again. At least of the naive nature. Geezzz.

Its a lil complex, but whoever said mental complexities are not as the word suggest? heh.

Well, i have decided. And so it shall stay that way. There is somebody now, yet im not realli interested. No point getting attached, at least not till i have a passive income of $1000 per mth.

Affairs of the heart, there is realli no rush. The most i stay single all my life, what matters in life is not to find somebody to settle down, its money. Money money money, its all that matters now, so my short term goal is laid out infront of me, 1k in passive income every month. =)

Um, its getting abit gibberish now, my brain is shutting down cause im so damn tired. Fuck, shall go sleep. Ciaoz~!

This blog abit old liao, i tink maybe its time to convert it to a investment blog, rather then some silly affairs-o-the-heart blog. As we age, we tend to change priorities, and that is exactly what happened to me. I have sort of erased most of the emotions within me with regards to her, so i guess we're on the road again man. =)

Okies, first of all, my current portfolio:

1) Noble Group

2) Banjoo

3) PT Berlian Laju

4) Saizen REIT

And so the reasons for incorporating them into my portfolio is as follows:

1) I personally like Noble's business and being in the commodity business means u you perpetual prospects, commodities is something that is always needed in whichever phrase of the economy. Therefore i feel its quite rock-solid when industry demand is concerned.

Currently Noble is still bearish, but nonetheless this counter is my fundamental pick, so i cant realli be bothered with the charting of this counter. =)

2) Banjoo, the well known kukujiao counter. I'm vested in Banjoo due to their recent change in owner and industry. They are now venturing into the indonesian telecoms industry, where they have secured a governmental contract for construction and maintenance of various sub-stations to extent mobile coverage to the rural areas of indonesia. Indonesia itself, boosts inpressive growth and its economy is mostly inert to the global economy. The recession merely grazed indonesia because although indonesia is a 3rd world country, this fact actually saved them. Indonesia's demands is self-supplied, so they dun realli import or export much products for domestic consumption. Anyways, long story cut short, Banjoo is a medium-term tikum counter which have potential to be a multi-bagger. In which case if it does not do well, i also lose not much. hahaha

3) PT Berlian Laju, this one is pure tikum, with some research done on its financials and backgroud. The fair valuation of this counter is SGD0.15, yet its now lying at SGD0.035, simply because they turbo issues rights to garner cash for insane expansion. Currently they are the 3rd largest chemical freighters in the world, and i believe they will soon be number 1 if they managed to pull off this insane expansion plan. Oh, need i mentioned they are also highly leveraged? Haha, but tikum this one also no hard, lose also not much. Hiak hiak

4) Saizen REIT, this deadly counter is my first purchase to build up the fixed income portion of my portfolio. I shall elaborate more on the Jasonian Portfolio Theory later. Saizen deals in Japanese properties, and as the general rules go, Japanese real estate is super expensive. Anyways japanese properties have immerse potential, and as XH puts it, they need 2 generations to completely purchase a property. That is how expensive jap properties is. Anyways im just vested this morning, awaiting their financial announcement tomorrow morning before market opens. I have a certain feel good factor about this counter, simply because i did ALOT of research before committing in this counter. =)

Alrite, everybody needs to have dreams yeah? There is a few counters i would LOVE to hold if i have the monies, which at this point, im still damn poor lah. Cb. But no harm listing it out lah, at least i feel better that way. hahaha

To buy:

1) FSL Trust: This one die die must buy at the current price, the dividend yield is 12.88% per annum. The current price of SGD0.4 makes it a super cheap counter with respect to its NAV and div yield. They got into some shit hence the price like super low now. Nonetheless, they did announce they may be making some adjustments to future dividends. But still, this counter returns is good, simply because ship leasing is picking up as the economy is SLOWLY coming back again despite so many cock and bulls stories about double dip. Remember, the ball called earth is now undergoing a historical first; a asynchronous recovery. Asian countries are leading the recovery, with China in the forefront, we are currently the ones saving the western overspending asses with our incredibly godlike savings.

2) AIMS REIT: This one the yield is good, and its one of the 3 REITs im considering adding to my fixed income portfolio. Reasons for this choice is simple. I like it. =)

3) Cambridge REIT: This is the 3rd REIT i would like in my portfolio. Shall not say much, if you guys wan info why i like this so much, go google, tons of answers in there. hahaha (Lazy to type lah)

4) OCBC Bank: My veri own dear employer. Its a steal once it goes to 8.5 and under. OC will definitely hit $10 in the next 10 years, simply because as an employee in the bank, i believe in my own bank. hiak hiak hiak

5) Starhub: A Telecoms counter to diversify away from the other counters in my portfolio, because Starhub pays constant and good dividends for its price and stability. And might i add, im abit biased, cause i am a Starhub user. =p

6) Ezra: A Oil related counter that could ride on oil prices, which is guaranteed to go up rather then down in future. I also like the fact that i always see Ezra employees at my branch area. All look decent and dont seem too shady. Hurhur.

7) Tiger Air: Contrary to popular believe, i was onli recently interested in this counter when XH told my about it. In the past, the IPO price of SGD1.5 kinda freaked me out, but right now its valuation is slowly catching up with its IPO price. For medium term prospects, this counter fits nicely into my portfolio, because i need a air carrier to tap on the asian tourism boom.

8) Transpac: This one is a semi tikum and fundamental stock. To me, its like a pandoras box. you look at the financials and u go boomz, and the next thing u know, they give out 40 cents dividend. Last dec, i was a fortunate beneficiary of the 40 cents thingy. haha. Anyways transpac is a investment holdings company, which is vaguely similar to what ang mohs called a venture capital company. They buy and sell shares and companies, kinda like a equity fund without the so called mandate. There is no predetermined fund manager, which means there is no management costs like unit trusts. Up till now, transpac is performing veri nicely, and the dividends they give out machiam tio bonus like tat, wudi one! hahaha!

There, finally finished typing, there is lots more to tok about, but lets just stop here for the time being. Remember, try not to be a chartist, and if you realli wanna be one, make sure you have the ability or leverage to play, dun end up a victim of Mr Market! ^_^

Missing Me Missing You

Peeps, been sometime since i blogged. Anyways i've been extremely busy these days, as usual with my work and stuffs. Something went wrong in April, and i was bottom of the charts. I guess its what they call the burn out effect. I was too tired to realli run for sales, so in the end i sunk.

But this month, i must run, i dun fucking care. My boss gave me a HUGE deal and hence i am now at the top of the top together with my other 2 colleagues, but still, its not my own effort and im not particularly proud of it. I must close more deals on my own accord before i can realli appease myself.

Okays, yesterday was damn shoik, went to chill out with the guys and jade at Wala Wala. Someone spoke about something and i kinda stoned. I knew, but still its kinda hard to swallow. Well anyways its good, because i can start to look for my own happiness. Its dumb i know, and as usual, those that understands, understands; those that dun understand, never will. =)

Alrites, back to topic, i blogged todae at this hour, because i came across a few articles and forum posts on this girl that committed suicide at AMK a few days back because of a failed relationship.

I aint gonna advertise what happened etc, the main point here is the slice of the pie i took away from this information.

Life is short, everyone knows that, but yet for somebody to even consider shortening it further, things must realli be veri veri adverse. So the question is, have you ever had suicidal thoughts some point in your life?

For me, thankfully the answer is no. I wouldnt fucking kill myself even if i lost my dick or i became a absolute bankrupt or for all that matter, my future wife cuckooed me etc. I am a firm believer of living to fight another day.

People says god gave you life. For me, its my parents that gave me life. And therefore, no point throwing away the best gift your parents ever gave you because of some silly little problems that will DEFINITELY become insignificant over the course of your life. The only way to remedy problems is to live on and work out a solution, not to go airborne without parachute and hope that the problem dies with you.

Problems never die, they can only be solved. Although i've not been through ALOT, i wasnt realli born with a silver spoon as well. Im not going to whine and spout what shit and blah blah i have gone through so people can sympathize with me. Im a man and so i shall suck it up and live it on. =)

So looking back, im single all my life, maybe that is a blessing in disguise. Cause though somedays the loneliness catches up with you, most days you are just glad nobody ever hurt you the way you dun wan to. To me, emotional torture is worse then physical torture. So yeah, maybe things are the way they are because the fellow-above-the-clouds is trying to prevent people from hurting me. Heh.

Okies, jokes aside, the world is fucking coming to an end. Nbcb the fucking weather hot until mother cry lah. I bathe alreadi go downstairs buy food only, come back sweat like dog. Initially i suspected its my fats that's screwing me in, then i saw a few thin fellows also sweating like dogs beside me. The fucking weather is frying every mother's son in this lil country. Wootz!

Oh yeah, one thing though, am i realli dote-able? It seems womenfolk like to dote on me. Not say i bhb, but seriously, there are a few realli nice ladies that seems to dote on me alot, and that excludes my mum, who obviously is a god-send lady to specially dote on me. Anyways i wont say who are they, later they see this then dun dote on me anymore i die sia. lolx.

Okays, reading back the entries, i've realised a fact of life. Some people are meant to stay in your life, some are simply passerbys. We can be the bestest of the bestest frends, but the definition of bestest onli applies to a specified time frame in life. Example = I have a bestest frend called Jonathan Chan in Primary School. After PSLE, i dun even know anything about him anymore, till now i still dun kw where he works and how is he getting on in life. lol.

Another interesting person is my frends in polytechnic. We kinda stuck togetherly for like 3 yrs, and now we hardly even contact, except for meet ups and stuffs. Therefore, all this makes me treasure my Uni frends more then ever, simply because even after graduation, we're still close and especially the guys, we almost meet every weekend to play mahjong. And among them all, im closest to Nicalashi. This fellow is my colleague in OCBC and therefore we always contact on and off. Lolx.

Okays, im sweating just typing this shit here, fucking cb weather fucked up one. Why cant it be raining for the whole day man. Oh, that brings me to the final topic, I've changed over the years, but some habits are die hard. An example is my love for rainy days and cold nights, its damn romantic. And another habit is the mental allocation of songs for people that matter to me. There is always a song that reminds me of somebody in my life.

For that, her official soundtrack is Lee Hom's Xin Tiao. Nothing much, not trying to prove anything, just wanna type it here for the record, in case i go mad and forget stuffs. Talking about record, im gonna do something for the record, so that i can remember every single thing that happened. Yeap~~~

Okays, enough of irrelevant and random rantings. I know most of this entry doesnt even link together logically, but what the heck, its my blog, i type what i wan, when i wan. =)

Jason: Tonight is just one night, where things aren't that adverse yet.

如果天有情

作詞：李安修　作曲：許建強　編曲：杜自持

總要為愛傷透了心

才知真情多麼難尋

有誰願意如此　認識愛情

總要流下多少淚滴

才能看清楚自己

一顆癡心　一段赤情

說得容易　怎奈人間際遇

就讓我和你　沈睡在夢裡

可知我的心　不願意醒

相偎又相依　黑夜到天明

緣份不能分　命運不能離

如果天有情　如果夢會靈

就讓我的心　愛到徹底

我對你的愛　已無法說明

就像風吹不息　雨打不停

此情不渝

生日快乐.